In 1991, there were so many things happening in that single year, the end of the Cold War, the Tokyo economic bubble bursting, and even the start of the Holy Grail War in Tokyo.
It's a pity that World War II had already ended long ago and that Crowley was already dead.
I honestly wanted to learn Sex Magick straight from him.
As much as a lot of people love to shit on Crowley and dismiss him as nothing but a con artist or an eccentric fraud, his Sex Magick was real.
Maybe even all that wild shit he claimed, like his encounters with his so-called guardian angel had some truth to it.
If it was all bullshit, why would I bother wasting my time digging up every scrap of research I could find about it?
There's something strangely similar about all these practices: Sex Magick, summoning a guardian angel, astral projection, and lucid dreaming. No matter which one you try, you end up having to slip into this weird state that's somewhere between half-awake and half-asleep.
One of the most famous and honestly safest methods is inducing sleep paralysis.
But of course, there are always people who want to skip the process entirely and jump straight into it by getting high as fuck on whatever drugs they can find.
The one thing I turned out to be naturally good at was Astral Projection.
That's probably why I never really feared death or all those ideas about heaven and hell.
Sure, they might exist in some form, but they're not nearly as terrifying when you've already learned how to peel your soul out of your body and visit higher realms whenever you feel like it.
Because heaven and hell are really just a couple of stops, just two destinations among countless other dimensions drifting around in the spirit world.
And once you've seen them for yourself, you realize none of it is as black-and-white or as final as the priests and the holy books love to pretend.
As much as I don't remember how I got stuck in reincarnation instead of staying in the higher realm, I'm pretty sure this was my choice.
After all, the higher realm isn't some open playground you can just waltz in and out of.
That place is guarded, seriously guarded by beings so powerful they make cosmic horror shit their pants.
And let's be real, I had no qualifications to get into Heaven.
Zero.
Nada.
And Hell? Fuck no. I've seen that place, and it's absolute dogshit.
Trust me, it's not even the nightmare pit most people imagine.
No flames licking your balls or pitchforks up your ass, it's worse in a different way.
It's like being stuck in a rundown, piss-stained apartment surrounded by the worst kind of neighbors. No privacy, no peace. Just hostile energy everywhere you go. They were watching, waiting, just radiating malice, grinning as they plot ways to screw you over for eternity.
That's what the Hell dimension really feels like.
There's no such thing as "nice" spirits down there.
None.
Zero.
They take everyone in, no checklists, no moral judgment, no ticket needed.
As long as your soul's homeless, empty, and has nowhere else to go, that place will take you in like the last stop before eternal trash collection.
Except the guards want to eat you, and your neighbors want to fuck you over for fun.
It's like Earth's refugee zone, but with zero hope and even less dignity.
Maybe I'm wrong and I've just been mistaking limbo for hell all along. I mean, both of them are in the lower realms, and they're where all the fucked-up, nasty spirits gather.
They don't bother communicating with us unless they want something from you or unless they're just bored and feel like trolling you for fun.
But remember this: the spirits in the lower realms are not generous.
They'll never just hand over important information out of kindness.
All they ever do is steal shit from you, especially if you've recently been up visiting the higher realms.
It's not the first time those bastards have mugged me for my memories right after I've had a conversation with a being from the higher planes.
I fucking hate those lower-realm scums.
That's why I try not to go there unless I absolutely have to.
But here's the thing, the higher realm isn't exactly a place I can stay permanently, either.
They might welcome you as a guest, let you hang around for a bit, maybe even show you some incredible shit, but they're never gonna generously let you treat their place like it's your own personal playground.
That's why astral projection into higher dimensions and having those good, vivid dreams never lasts long.
The blissful stuff always seems short, like a quick taste you're not allowed to keep.
Meanwhile, the nightmares? Those fuckers always feel longer, dragging on and on, like the lower realms want to remind you where you truly belong.
So yeah, given the options?
Reincarnation it is.
Whether someone helped me do it or I forced my own way through the cycle, I don't know.
My memory's blank on that part.
But come on… if no one helped me, how did I land with such a lucky draw? Reincarnated as Manaka's brother, of all people?
That's not just a random spin of the wheel. That's some VIP pass bullshit right there. Someone had to pull strings or maybe I did it myself, and just forgot.
Either way, I'm back.
And I'm not wasting this second shot.
"Ryouma, it seems you're really enjoying your new life in this world."
The girl with long black hair and a flowing kimono chuckled softly.
Even at a glance, I could tell exactly who she was.
"Akasha…" I muttered, my brows furrowing as the reality of my situation sank in.
I wasn't in my body at all. My soul floated alone in an endless void that stretched in every direction, facing the final boss of the entire Nasuverse.
"Why did you want to meet me, Akasha?" I asked, my voice steady. "This world should be nothing but a game to you."
Her smile faded. This time, it was her turn to frown. "You really don't remember?"
"Have you forgotten that this is our home?"
Her voice carried a strange sadness.
"It seems your memories are scattered… you've forgotten so many things," she sighed, sounding almost regretful. "It's understandable. You carry knowledge you shouldn't. Even Shiki couldn't handle it and always forgot that I existed right beside her."
For a moment, she seemed to drift in thought.
Then her expression softened, almost fond.
"If you have any questions, you can ask," she offered.
I took a slow breath, trying to ground myself in this formless space.
"Is Shiki… and you… the same person?" I finally asked, voicing the question that had haunted me more than anything else.
"We are," she said without hesitation. "Just like you, Ryouma, my memories are scattered. I don't remember everything. But I do know I am very powerful… more than most beings could ever comprehend."
Her gaze turned sharp for an instant.
"When higher beings like us descend into lower realms—when we choose to reincarnate, we shed pieces of ourselves. Fragments. Power. Identity. Even the memory of who we were before. It's the price of compressing infinity into flesh."
Her voice softened again as she continued.
"At least unlike you, I didn't forget everything. Even while half-asleep, even in dreams, I remembered that I was the Source. The origin. I only lost myself when I was Shiki, bound by mortal rules, mortal pain, mortal ignorance."
I studied her, feeling no fear, no tension.
Just a strange calm, a clarity that left me feeling completely in control.
"So," I said slowly, "you didn't take advantage of that to kill me? Even knowing that I plan to replace Alaya and Gaia with something more obedient… and build an entirely new world out of their ashes?"
I looked right into her eyes, searching for any flicker of hostility.
But there was none.
Only that same serene, unsettling peace.
She replied with a hint of regret in her voice. "I can't… You might not remember it now, but whenever someone truly threatened you, you'd stop playing the game and flip the entire table without a second thought."
"I don't think I can do that," I muttered, frowning as doubt twisted in my chest.
"You can." Akasha's voice turned firm, almost unshakable. "Your higher self is still in deep slumber. You have no idea what you're capable of once you start to remember."
"You've never feared anyone, anything. There's always a reason, Ryouma. Deep down in your heart, you know you'll be safe. That sense of arrogance you carry, that defiance you wear, it's not a lie."
"Most people are always afraid of something or someone. They're shackled, bound by their own weakness, and they never get to taste what it means to be truly free."
"But you… you're different. Shiki was the same way. She feared no one because her higher self… is me. So the question you should be asking is, who is your higher self?"
"Even when we don't remember, we've always been free spirits. We never worried about anything. We never feared anyone. Because somewhere in our hearts, we knew the world couldn't really threaten us. It was all just a game to us." She let out a soft, humorless chuckle.
"Even so… is that really the truth?" Her gaze turned distant, as if she was staring at something I couldn't see.
"Mortals can't comprehend the scale of the problems we're facing. Even you and I, we're no different. We don't remember what we're searching for. We're driven by instinct to chase after something we've forgotten even existed."
"You always keep telling me that you can't touch me, Akasha." I cut her off, my voice rough. "But you never said that I also can't touch you."
For a moment, there was silence between us, a heavy, loaded pause.
"So, the point is, why did you want to drag me into this place?" I demanded, meeting her eyes without flinching.
She smiled and answered my question in a calm tone. "Manaka is also a part of me. She may not be me. She's also not Shiki. But she's still me, all the same."
"I guess I just wanted to meet you. Is that so wrong, Ryouma?" Akasha blinked at me, her eyes wide and almost innocent.
I rolled my eyes. "Everything this world has to offer is part of you, Akasha. If you wanna talk, just let Shiki come out instead. This place sucks."
If I really believed everything she said, then I might as well find a crooked-neck tree and hang myself from it.
Who knows how many times I've been lied to, mugged, or maliciously targeted in the astral realm?
How was I supposed to trust some stranger's sweet words or cryptic information?
Especially when they butter you up, praising you to the skies just to inflate your ego, trying to make you believe they're your friend so you drop your guard.
That's not how the real world works. Strangers don't praise you without a reason, and spirits sure as hell don't.
They can slip right into your head, manipulate you seamlessly, make you believe they're your lover, your sibling, your best friend, anything, just to squeeze secrets out of you.
That constant suspicion is the only thing that's kept me alive this long, even with the risk of my soul floating too far from my body.
"Maybe you were never Akasha to begin with," I said, grinning coldly.
Her smile vanished.
The peaceful mask she'd been wearing cracked and fell away.
Even the familiar shape of Shiki's features began to blur and melt, shifting into something twisted and alien, until what stared back at me was a pale, white-haired girl with eyes empty as a void.
"I'm not. You should already know who I am, human," she said, her voice dropping into something cold and metallic. "I can't touch you. You can't touch me. You'd better remember what's good for you and stick to living your own life instead of meddling in things you shouldn't."
A split second later, the blank void around us shattered like glass.
I opened my eyes in my bedroom, heart pounding. Manaka was hugging me, completely naked, skin pressed to mine, breathing softly in her sleep.
Warm.
Real.
Tangible.
But I remembered everything. The dream. The meeting. That white-haired bitch's warning.
It was all real.
Too bad for her, though.
Out of all the shit on my plate, her threats were the last thing I was worried about right now.
I chuckled darkly under my breath, tightening my hold around my sister's soft, naked body, burying my face against her hair as I let myself drift off into a deep, heavy sleep.
...
Author Note & Vote
Hello everyone, the story has been updated by me, and daily updates are back! I've stockpiled a ton of chapters to make sure of it.
Yeah, in the stockpile, the Holy Grail Tokyo arc is already over, and Manaka is already pregnant with the MC's child.
There will be some kinky pregnant sex in the future, of course, I've already written it.
Now, here's the question: I plan to have the MC visit the Fate/Zero timeline in the future.
Do you want the MC to impregnate Irisviel and Aoi, and become the father of Rin, Sakura, or Illya? Or do you prefer they stay fathered by Tokiomi and Kiritsugu?
If you want the MC to be their father, I'll write it so Tokiomi and Kiritsugu never touch them.
But if you prefer to keep the canon pairings, nothing will change, Kiritsugu will still be married to Irisviel, and Aoi will stay with Tokiomi.
Also, if you'd like to include Kirei's wife, Claudia, and have the MC father Caren Hortensia instead, feel free to comment. After all, I am a democratic man... probably.
Here the vote:
1. Breed them
2. No
Remember, once the vote has been cast, there is no turning back.
If you don't want the MC to have anything to do with them, just vote "No." However, I will not prevent them from being with their canon love interests or original romantic partners. Since you voted no, the MC won't waste his time on them.
But if you feel possessive and don't want any girl in the story to have a love interest, whether they're connected to the MC or not, then vote "Breed Them."
Because once the arrow is loosed from the bowstring, it won't stop at just one girl, it will hit every girl.
Also keep in mind, I won't spend any time changing the love interests or canon pairings of girls from the Nasuverse if you vote "No."
Since the MC has nothing to do with them, I won't make any effort to separate them from their lovers. They'll have their own lives, and the MC will have his.