Chapter 279: Sake and Strategy
It was unmistakable, the air was palpably charged with an almost tangible sense of discontent, as Malik's discerning gaze settled upon Tsunade's countenance, he could, without the slightest shred of doubt, perceive the profound frustration that was simmering just beneath the surface of her stoic exterior. The faint creases etched upon her forehead, the subtle tightening of her jawline, and the merest hint of a furrowed brow all conspired to betray the turmoil that was brewing within her, a potent cocktail of emotions that threatened to boil over at any moment.
As he watched, transfixed by the spectacle of her restrained ire, Malik could almost feel the weight of Tsunade's exasperation, a sense of desperation that seemed to cling to her like a damp, suffocating shroud, weighing her down with its crushing gravity. Her eyes, those piercing brown orbs that normally shone with a fierce inner light, now seemed dull and lackluster, their usual sparkle diminished by the oppressive burden of her unspoken concerns.
The very atmosphere around her appeared to vibrate with tension, as if the sheer force of her frustration was causing the air molecules to oscillate at a discordant frequency, creating a sense of dissonance that was almost palpable. It was as if the room itself was holding its breath, waiting with bated anticipation for the moment when Tsunade's pent-up emotions would finally reach a boiling point, and the carefully constructed facade of her composure would come crashing down, unleashing a torrent of pent-up feelings in a spectacular display of unbridled passion, that would most likely take the form of a fist to his face.
And yet, despite the evident turmoil that was raging within her, Tsunade's outward demeanor remained remarkably composed, a testament to her unwavering self-control and unshakeable resolve. Her voice, when she spoke, was low and even, its melodic tones a stark contrast to the seething emotions that were churning beneath the surface, a potent reminder that even the most turbulent of souls can sometimes present a facade of serenity to the world, a mask that conceals the true depths of their inner turmoil.
The office was dimly lit, the soft glow of the afternoon sun filtering through the large windows. Papers were stacked high on Tsunade's desk, some neatly organized, others shoved to the side as if she'd given up on reading them altogether. Her head was resting in her hands, fingers massaging her temples as though trying to stave off the migraine threatening to take hold.
Before her sat Malik, radiating golden charm and wearing a smile that was far too cheerful for her current mood.
"For the third time, Malik," Tsunade began, her voice sharp but exhausted, "go over your story once again."
As she spoke, Tsunade reached for her medicine—the large bottle of sake she kept stashed under her desk for moments like this. She poured herself a generous glass, ignoring the faint amused look Malik gave her as she did so.
"That's not going to help you understand me better," Malik teased lightly, leaning back in his chair.
Tsunade glared at him, briefly debating whether she could get away with throwing him out the window. She'd done it before, after all—but then again, he could fly, and she'd promised Shizune she'd try to avoid hurting him too much.
"Just start talking," Tsunade snapped, taking a long sip of her drink.
Malik shrugged, his easy smile never faltering as he leaned forward slightly, resting his elbows on the desk.
Malik Explains Split Soul.
"Alright, my wise and beautiful Lady Fifth," Malik began, his tone playful but respectful enough to avoid immediate danger. "Let's talk about my new spell: Split Soul."
He paused for dramatic effect, his pink-and-gold eyes glowing faintly as he gestured with his hands, conjuring small wisps of magic to illustrate his explanation.
"This spell," he continued, "allows me to split myself into separate bodies—duplicates, if you will. However, there's a catch: I can only be awake and active in one at a time. The others? They're completely immobile, like beautifully crafted statues just waiting for me to jump into them."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow but said nothing, instead motioning for him to continue.
"The inactive bodies," Malik added, "have no awareness, no movement, no ability to act—they're useless until I transfer my consciousness into them. But if my current body is incapacitated, I can instantly shift to another, leaving my captors furious and deeply confused."
Tsunade took another sip of sake, her piercing brown eyes narrowing as she listened.
"It's simple to cast," Malik said with a grin, gesturing as though casting the spell before her eyes. "I will the magic into existence—a shimmer of gold and pink wraps around me, and boom! I scatter like fragments of light, only to reassemble into multiple versions of myself. Chaos Mode activated."
He leaned back again, clearly enjoying himself.
"Oh, and the best part?" Malik added, his smile widening. "Infinite style changes. Each duplicate can be dressed differently, so I can experiment with which version of myself has the most drip. Honestly, it's perfect."
Tsunade set her glass down heavily, the sound echoing through the office.
"You're an idiot," she declared flatly, her voice cutting through Malik's cheerfulness.
Malik blinked, momentarily caught off guard, but Tsunade didn't give him a chance to recover.
"Let's review the facts," she began, her tone sharp and commanding. "First, the Akatsuki have already tried to kidnap you multiple times. They've proven they won't stop until they get what they want, and instead of finding a way to keep yourself safe, you're actively making it easier for them to grab you."
Malik opened his mouth to respond, but Tsunade raised a hand, silencing him.
"Second," she continued, "you just decided—on a whim—to use this spell to meet them halfway? What kind of logic is that? 'Oh, they're trying to take me, so I'll just go along with it'? That's not a plan, Malik. That's recklessness."
Her piercing brown eyes bore into him, her frustration palpable.
"Third," Tsunade added, leaning forward slightly, "you think this spell somehow gives you an advantage, but you're not thinking about the consequences. What happens if they figure out how to use your duplicates against you? What happens if they trap your inactive bodies? Or worse—what happens if they find a way to keep you from jumping to another one?"
Malik frowned slightly, clearly considering her points, but Tsunade wasn't done.
"This isn't just about you," she finished firmly. "You've got responsibilities to this village, to the people who care about you. If you get captured—or worse—you'll put everyone at risk, including your wives, your fiancées, and even your staff. You don't get to be reckless with your own safety just because you think it's fun."
Malik exhaled slowly, his smile returning as he leaned forward again.
"You know," he began, his tone thoughtful, "you're very wise, Tsunade. And stunningly beautiful, I might add. But I think you're underestimating me."
Tsunade's glare sharpened.
"First," Malik said, raising a finger, "I'm not doing this just for fun. The Akatsuki are up to something, and I need to know what it is. If they're this determined to take me, there's a reason—and I'd rather find out on my terms than theirs."
He raised a second finger.
"Second," he continued, "Split Soul isn't reckless—it's strategic. If they capture one body, I can jump to another. It's an emergency escape, not a liability."
A third finger joined the others.
"Third," Malik added, "I've already taken precautions. My inactive bodies are hidden, secured by layers of magic they can't break through. If the Akatsuki want to trap me, they'll have to work a lot harder than you're giving me credit for."
He leaned back, spreading his arms in a theatrical gesture.
"Finally," Malik concluded, his tone playful, "I trust myself. And I trust the people around me. This isn't just about me—it's about protecting everyone. And sometimes, the best way to protect something is to take the fight to the ones who threaten it."
Tsunade exhaled deeply, shaking her head.
"You're exhausting," she muttered.
"And yet you like me anyway," Malik replied, grinning widely.
Tsunade picked up her glass of sake, taking a long sip before setting it down again.
"Just… don't get yourself killed," she said finally, her tone softer now.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Malik replied smoothly. "You'd miss me too much."
Tsunade rolled her eyes but couldn't hide the faint smile tugging at her lips.
Tsunade leaned back in her chair, the large bottle of sake resting comfortably in her hand as she poured herself another drink. After the earlier back-and-forth with Malik—half of it ridiculous, the other half dangerously close to giving her an aneurysm—she decided to steer the conversation toward something lighter.
"Alright," she began, swirling the liquid in her cup thoughtfully, "what are you going to do next? I'd rather know ahead of time than find out through some report full of chaos and headaches."
Malik raised both hands in mock surrender, his radiant smile returning with full force.
"Nope," he said, shaking his head. "I'm taking a break."
Tsunade blinked, momentarily caught off guard.
"What?"
"A break," Malik repeated, leaning back casually in his chair. "Do you have any idea how much paperwork, meetings, and other boring super-handsome-rich-dude things I have to do? It's exhausting. I need some time off."
Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him, waiting for the inevitable catch.
"And," Malik continued, grinning mischievously, "Shisui and I need to spend some time together. Lately, all we've been doing is… making tons of 'sweet music.'" He paused dramatically, throwing in an exaggerated wink that made Tsunade's eyebrow twitch. "And while that's great, as a married couple, we need to do other things."
Tsunade rolled her eyes, muttering something under her breath about how Malik could make anything sound scandalous.
"Plus," Malik added, his tone softening slightly, "I need to set up dates with my other love interests. I've been away for a good while, and it's only fair to give them my attention too. Love takes effort, you know."
Tsunade stared at him, her expression a mixture of disbelief and faint amusement.
"You're asking me to give your wife—Leader of The Root—days off," she said slowly, her lips curling into a sly, almost evil smile. "Don't know if I can shake that. Sounds like a hard sell."
Malik waved her off, laughing softly.
"Oh, come on," he said, leaning forward slightly. "I know you're not that cruel. Every ninja needs time off, and Shisui deserves it just as much as anyone else—probably more, considering everything she does."
Tsunade raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced.
"And," Malik added, his tone shifting into something more serious, "I'm an incubus, remember? I can feel your emotions. I know you're worried about her too."
Tsunade's smirk faltered for a split second, replaced by something more thoughtful.
"In fact," Malik continued, his grin returning, "we should all go to the beach. You, me, Shisui, and my sweet Shizune. It'd be good for everyone to relax for a bit."
Tsunade gave him a long, skeptical look, her piercing brown eyes narrowing slightly.
"A beach trip?" she repeated, her tone flat. "Do you really think that's going to work?"
Malik nodded enthusiastically.
"Of course," he said brightly. "I've got a magic house, remember? It can make a beach on its lower levels, complete with sand, waves, and sunshine. Or, if you'd prefer the real deal, I can teleport us to a far-off tropical paradise. No big deal."
Tsunade sighed, rubbing her temples as she considered the logistics.
"First of all," she began, "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but I'm busy running an entire village. I don't exactly have time for a beach trip."
"That's what deputies are for," Malik countered, waving a hand dismissively.
"Second," Tsunade continued, ignoring him, "do you have any idea how chaotic it would be to take Shisui and Shizune on a trip like that? Those two don't exactly… relax easily."
"And third," she added, her voice sharpening slightly, "I'm not sure I trust you to keep things from spiraling into complete insanity."
Malik grinned, leaning forward with his elbows on the desk.
"Tsunade," he said smoothly, "you underestimate me."
She snorted, crossing her arms. "Do I, though?"
"Look," Malik said, his tone turning persuasive. "The beach trip isn't just about relaxation—it's about bonding. You've been overworking yourself for years, Shisui hasn't taken a real break since forever, and Shizune spends half her life worrying about you. This isn't just a luxury—it's a necessity."
Tsunade narrowed her eyes at him, clearly unconvinced but unwilling to completely dismiss the idea.
"And," Malik added, his grin widening, "if anything does spiral into insanity, I'll take full responsibility. Promise."
Tsunade sighed heavily, leaning back in her chair and staring up at the ceiling.
"You're insufferable," she muttered.
"And yet you like me," Malik said cheerfully.
She shot him a sharp glare, but the faintest hint of a smile tugged at her lips.
"Fine," Tsunade said finally, her tone exasperated. "If—and only if—you handle all the logistics, I'll consider it."
Malik clapped his hands together, his golden eyes lighting up with excitement.
"You won't regret it," he promised, already mentally planning the perfect getaway.
Malik reached out swiftly, grasping Tsunade's hand firmly but gently. Before she could process what was happening, a rush of warmth surged through her as Malik effortlessly lifted off the ground, his golden and pink magic shimmering vibrantly around them. Tsunade's eyes widened dramatically, a mix of surprise and irritation flashing across her face as her feet left the floor.
"What the hell do you think you're doing, Malik?!" she snapped, trying her best to maintain composure despite the absurdity of being airborne.
Malik laughed heartily, flashing her one of his signature charming smiles. "Girl, you need a bathing suit. Can't hit the beach without the proper attire, now can we?"
"I have work to do!" Tsunade protested, her voice firm but slightly uncertain, given their current altitude. Malik merely waved her off casually, his free hand gesturing dismissively.
"Oh please, it won't take long," Malik assured her. "And I'll help you with all your paperwork when we get back."
"That's not how it works," Tsunade grumbled, though her resistance began to wane. Malik's infectious energy was admittedly persuasive, and the thought of an escape—even a brief one—from her towering pile of paperwork was tantalizing.
As they soared through the sky, the village sprawled beneath them like a colorful tapestry. Tsunade felt an unexpected sense of exhilaration and freedom, her initial irritation slowly replaced by reluctant amusement. Malik navigated effortlessly, his wings spread wide, shimmering magnificently in the sunlight, drawing admiring gazes from villagers below.
Their destination soon became clear: an upscale boutique known for its extravagance and exclusive clientele. Malik descended gracefully, landing with impeccable poise at the entrance. The staff immediately recognized Malik, their eyes lighting up at the sight of such a renowned patron. However, jaws dropped and whispers erupted throughout the store as the employees caught sight of Tsunade, the Fifth Hokage herself.
Malik strutted confidently to the boutique manager, nudging her playfully with his elbow. Leaning in conspiratorially, he whispered, "We need something special for the Lady Hokage. You see," Malik discreetly gestured toward Tsunade, his eyes pointedly fixed on her abundant cleavage, "she requires something both supportive and flattering for her rather impressive… assets."
The manager, quickly regaining her professionalism, nodded knowingly, a mischievous smile forming on her lips. "Of course, sir. Only our finest for Lady Tsunade."
Tsunade overheard just enough of the exchange to roll her eyes in exasperation, her cheeks tinging faintly pink in embarrassment and irritation. "You're going to pay for this, Malik," she warned him, her voice a dangerous growl that failed utterly to dampen Malik's spirits.
"Worth every penny," Malik retorted cheerfully, guiding her toward a private fitting room overflowing with swimsuits carefully selected by eager attendants.
Over the next hour, Tsunade begrudgingly modeled an array of swimwear, each ensemble met by Malik's enthusiastic commentary and exaggerated applause. She tried on sleek one-pieces, bold bikinis, and elegant ensembles that hugged her curves in ways she found both flattering and infuriatingly embarrassing.
"You're enjoying this far too much," she accused Malik after stepping out in a particularly daring crimson two-piece that accentuated her ample figure more than she would have preferred.
"Guilty as charged," Malik confessed shamelessly, giving her an approving thumbs-up. "But you have to admit, you look incredible."
"Flattery won't get you out of trouble," Tsunade snapped, though her words lacked genuine anger. Malik's genuine enthusiasm was oddly endearing, even if she'd never admit it aloud.
Eventually, after Tsunade had thoroughly exhausted her patience and Malik's exuberance reached new heights, Malik turned to the manager with a sweeping gesture. "We'll take them all."
Tsunade gaped at him incredulously. "All of them? Malik, have you lost your mind?"
"Probably," Malik laughed, handing over a stack of gold coins to the elated manager. "But you deserve it, and besides, variety is the spice of life!"
"Take me back to my office immediately," Tsunade commanded firmly, a touch of relief coloring her voice.
Malik complied willingly, gently taking her hand again as they ascended into the sky. This time, the flight felt less disorienting, more serene, as the village stretched peacefully beneath them, bathed in the soft hues of sunset.
"You know," Malik began thoughtfully, his voice surprisingly gentle, "you really are one of my best friends. I appreciate everything you do for me and this village."
Tsunade glanced at him, her expression softening slightly, betraying a rare vulnerability. "You're infuriatingly reckless, Malik. But… thank you."
Malik smiled warmly, the sincerity evident in his golden eyes. As they touched down gently outside her office window, Tsunade stepped away with a resigned but affectionate shake of her head.
"Now get out of here before I change my mind and toss you through the window," she teased lightly, a faint smirk tugging at the corners of her lips.
"Love you too, Lady Fifth," Malik replied playfully, giving her an exaggerated bow before soaring away, leaving behind the echo of laughter and the lingering warmth of genuine friendship.