[Why are you so angry?]
Doug stared at these words with a face that looked neither sad nor happy, but completely apathetic.
He had indeed tried to act normal, but perhaps this act hadn't fooled the girl in front of him.
The plan to take them to the restaurant wasn't new; he had carefully prepared it a while ago, but it had been ruined by the reporters' incident at work.
After hearing Asha's words and digging a little into her past, Doug felt an anger he had never felt in his entire life.
It was agonizing to see the girl in front of him carrying the remnants of her past in every single one of her actions.
He had impulsively asked about her past and frightened her in the process. When he saw her hug Connie to escape from him, the feeling that struck him was indescribable.
It was guilt and regret beyond his control.
He wondered how different things might have been if he had met Asha earlier, but at the same time, he realized that perhaps nothing would have changed.
He had lived as a supporting character in his own life, ignoring everything around him, whether his wife, his daughters, or even himself.
That was why, when asked why he was so angry, Doug could not say a word.
Did he even have the right to be angry when he had neglected those around him? His very irritation only made his relationship with Asha worse.
Perhaps even she was not aware of her own abnormal condition. As she fed him and Connie, Doug saw traces of her past surfacing in her actions.
Her movements were so precise that even right in front of him, he could not fully grasp the maneuvers she used to control the variables around her. On his plate were only foods he liked, carefully chosen so he would keep eating and not get angry.
And this time, served in such an excessive amount that he could barely suppress the urge to vomit.
Even so, it was commendable that Asha tried to understand him under such circumstances. In this way, Asha and Priyanka were similar, since they both strove to remain impartial and acted according to their own beliefs.
She seemed to want to understand him and adjust to him, but that was not what Doug wanted.
Even without asking, he was already convinced something had happened in her past. But it was not a topic he could easily bring up with Asha.
The truth was, he was not close enough to her to ask such questions. She did not even know that he was aware of her secret act of helping him. From Asha's perspective, he had suddenly flown into a rage out of nowhere over a "stranger", and it confused her.
What he needed now was not answers but reassurance. He wanted to know directly from Asha what had happened, yet he did not want to force her to reveal anything. And to do that, he needed to prove himself a trustworthy figure.
However, his plan to bring them to the restaurant had not borne fruit. Instead, his intentions had only been undermined by his flashes of anger. Even now, he wanted to jump out of that restaurant and take justice into his own hands, but such feelings were unnecessary now.
Doug touched the corners of his expressionless mouth and took a deep breath.
He needed to stay calm. He could not lose his composure or show anger to Asha, who already looked anxious enough.
"I'm not angry anymore."
He said while poking his face, trying to act natural, but this answer wasn't satisfactory to Asha.
She opened her notebook and wrote for a while, until a similar question filled two pages.
[Why were you so angry before?]
She pointed at the words again, expressionless.
Her question wasn't about how he felt now but about the reason for his previous behavior. And Doug wasn't stupid; he could understand this question. But it wasn't something he could answer, for two reasons.
The first was the place.
There were many eyes on them because of Asha's behavior. And while others couldn't clearly see the notebook's contents, they could still guess their conversation based on what he and Connie had said. It wasn't the most appropriate place to discuss such sensitive matters.
The second was the timing.
The events had happened just a short while ago, and Doug had acted impulsively in the moment. But he rationally understood that talking about this topic wouldn't be easy or comfortable for Asha. They needed to know each other better before he could ask such questions.
There was a process before reaching that point.
No matter how much Asha pushed, Doug kept quiet. He was curious, but he wouldn't say a word until both conditions were met.
The only problem was how to explain this to Asha. He wasn't the best person at being discreet, so Doug decided to be honest about his thoughts.
"I can't tell you that."
Asha looked at him with empty eyes for a few seconds. He could see his own blank face reflected in them, and her eyes seemed to shine a bit more intensely than usual.
[Why?]
"I can't tell you the reasons either, sorry."
Doug avoided the question again. And each time he refused to answer, the light in Asha's eyes seemed to grow more intense.
[You kept asking me things before.]
"I apologize again. I was just a bit excited."
[What did you want to know?]
"You can forget what I said before. It wasn't anything important."
Asha stared at these words intently, her pencil touching the sheet of paper slowly and steadily.
[I can answer your questions.]
Those words shook Doug's confident demeanor a little.
If Asha were willing to share her situation, his curiosity would finally be satisfied, and he could deal with those involved. But seeing Asha's trembling eyes, he pushed away any rash thoughts that might have crossed his mind.
"I don't have any questions."
He feared that asking delicate questions now would do more harm than good to her, so he swallowed the complex feelings inside and tried to muster a smile.
Asha looked at this smile intently and gripped her pen firmly.
[Won't you really ask?]
She asked again, as if trying to confirm his resolve. But his decision was already made. Doug wouldn't waver.
"Yes, I don't have questions."
[...]
Her hands gripped the pencil even tighter, showing her emotional turmoil.
Looking at Asha, who seemed to be experiencing intense emotions in front of him, he convinced himself he had made the right decision.
Of course, he wanted clear answers, but she wasn't in a position to give him that answer at the moment.
Asha began writing on the paper and crossing out her own words over and over again, until finally a single word appeared in her notebook.
[Understood.]
It was a simple word, but written so strongly that the marks pressed through to the other side of the page.
Doug smiled at her response, pleased with his own self-control. He hoped she would feel more comfortable after this conversation, knowing he wouldn't press the topic anymore.
His intentions were good, but unfortunately, his words might not have been taken the way he hoped.
*
In front of me, Doug smiled genuinely after denying any of my questions.
Out of the blue, he not only denied being angry but also said the reasons for his anger were trivial.
It was such a shameless lie that I could barely contain the wave of irritation I felt as I read his lips.
Trivial? Did he say it was a trivial matter, with that face?
I might be blind, but I could still tell when someone was angry, and the expression Doug had shown earlier was one ready to commit a crime. He was clearly dying to know my situation and to validate his thoughts.
It was so abrupt that I could barely maintain my composure.
But after finally making up my mind and trying to clear things up, he suddenly said it was no big deal, like it was nothing.
Did he know how much determination it took to ask those questions and the entire script I had prepared?
All of that went down the drain thanks to his irrational and inflexible behavior.
I gripped the pencil tightly, trying to control my grip so I wouldn't snap it in half.
'Why is he so frustrating?'
Rarely in my life had I lost my temper like I did now. I had literally opened up to Doug, and he just threw all that effort away.
And you know what was even more frustrating? He wasn't even willing to tell me the thoughts behind his decision.
What the hell was he, a bipolar? Make up your mind once and for all!
Why was he making things more complicated than they needed to be? He was so, so frustrating.
Looking at Doug's shameless smile, I wanted to punch him so hard that any strange ideas would be washed away.
I restrained my shaking hands from punching him and tried to calm myself down. Before I sank into unnecessary emotion, I should try to understand the situation.
'What caused Doug's change of heart?'
I recalled every detail of what had just happened now and before at the bookstore.
Organizing the events sequentially, I deliberately avoided Doug, clinging to Connie in a shameful position. Afterward, he apologized by buying us dinner.
And then, when I tried to identify the root of the problem, he refused to answer my questions.
Doug wasn't one to open up; he was always reserved about his own affairs. Perhaps what led him to deny my questions was consideration.
After all, I'd acted out of my mind before, and Doug seemed to have reflected on it a bit.
Thinking about it this way, his behavior made more sense.
I put my hands in front of my face, trying to calm my emotions.
'What kind of hole have I dug myself into?'
At that moment, the people I feared most weren't loan sharks or corrupt politicians, but kind people.
Overly considerate people tend to overthink, and if not treated early, this thinking could develop like a cancer and become something terrible.
Doug was still a green seedling; the roots of his misunderstanding had just formed.
It would be difficult to change Priyanka's perception, since she'd known me the longest, but Doug was still manageable. If things got worse now, they would be even worse in the future.
I had failed not once, but twice. The sky outside was already darkening as if marking the result of my actions. But it was up to me to turn that night into day again.
"I'll fix any stupid thoughts in his head, even if it's the last thing I do."
I made that vow to myself. Plan B might have failed, but there was still room for Plan C.
There was no point in giving up on Doug so soon; it was better to try my best now than to deeply regret it later.
If Doug was reluctant to share his thoughts, perhaps he just needed the right encouragement. The restaurant plan had failed and yielded no results, but I shouldn't dwell on that.
I needed to put him in a situation that would relax his mind and foster a decent conversation. But what would that be, and how would I do it?
I'd only attended GameCons a few times; I had no idea what someone Doug's age would be interested in.
My eyes wandered around the dinner table, lost in thought. Doug had left to pay the bill, and Connie just sat quietly, staring out the window.
What was she staring at so intently?
I focused my energy on Connie's eyes and tried to analyze the reflection in her pupils. The sight was a little strange to recognize, but I could still make out the silhouettes.
'A Ferris wheel?'
The image Connie was watching was nothing more than a large Ferris wheel shining in the night sky, so big it was visible through the restaurant windows from a distance.
The moment she noticed me looking at her face, her focus quickly shifted to me.
"Umm... are you okay?"
She seemed to say something, but I couldn't quite make it out. As I stared at her, an idea immediately popped into my head.
'This might work...'
I had just accidentally realized the perfect place to get Doug to spill the beans.
Connie continued to watch me doubtfully as I silently stared at her. What she was seeing were the pillars of Plan C being shaped.
As for what future such a plan would hold, that was a mystery.
But I convinced myself that things could not get any worse.
So it was worth a try.
People of all ages frequented amusement parks; even in my past life, it was common for YouTubers to film their trips to places like Disneyland, regardless of their age.
As long as I could lure Doug to an amusement park and lower his guard, I would be able to extract more information from him.
The first step in this plan started with Connie. She seemed particularly interested in the Ferris wheel, which meant that if I could draw her there, Doug would inevitably follow.
[Do you like Ferris wheels?]
Connie blinked a few times at my question, clearly surprised that I was asking about her preferences. But despite the awkwardness, she still answered.
"Well, maybe..." Her eyes wandered, lingering on the gleaming Ferris wheel.
[Maybe?]
"A few years ago, we all went to the amusement park together. But when we got on the Ferris wheel, I was so scared I cried through the whole ride. It felt like everything might collapse at any moment."
Listening to Connie's story, memories of a pink lion recklessly carrying me across a desert in enormous leaps and darting into random portals flashed through my mind.
There were several moments when I thought I would die the instant my hands slipped. Gems were also vulnerable to falling, and a single crack could prove fatal.
"It was really scary, but the view at the top was beautiful," Connie said, her voice soft with nostalgia. "It was like the whole city had turned into a starry universe."
She stretched her hands out toward the Ferris wheel, completely absorbed in her thoughts.
"It made me think… if seeing Earth from the top of a Ferris wheel was so beautiful, how breathtaking would it be to see Earth directly from space?"
In that moment, Connie's eyes seemed to shine with the same brilliance as the stars she spoke of. Her pure admiration for space revealed itself in that small gesture, leaving me staring at her blankly, unable to comprehend my own reaction.
"Since that day, I've been studying astronomy and learning more about the stars. But maybe because I cried so much, Mom never let me ride the Ferris wheel again."
Even as she spoke of the sad end of her travels, her eyes seemed to look beyond the Ferris wheel; they gazed at the stars.
This was perhaps why she said "maybe" at the beginning, because the Ferris wheel wasn't an end in itself, but a means to a glimpse of the stars. And understanding this fact made me reflect on Connie's existence on a deeper level.
In the original story, she had some connection to space, although it was only hinted at in a few lines.
It was something no one would stop to think about for long, just a fact thrown at the viewer. But listening to her now, I began to understand where those ambitions truly came from.
'She really looks alive.'
I did not just mean her vivid expression; I meant it literally. The more she spoke, the harder it became to reduce her existence to that of a fictional character.
How much did she live off screen? All the knowledge I had about her and her future was just the tip of the iceberg.
The event she described had clearly laid the foundation for her passion for space, and perhaps even explained why she was drawn to Steven and his unusual circumstances.
And the scariest thing was that I would never have known if not for this coincidence.
I thought I knew her, yet in that brief conversation about a past never even mentioned, I was reminded of the vast gap between the cartoon I remembered and the reality I now lived.
In truth, I knew nothing about her.
[I see.]
I answered dryly, although my feelings were anything but simple.
Fortunately, Connie was already used to my lack of reaction. As she finished telling me about her experiences, her eyes focused on me, unblinking.
She placed her elbows on the table with her chin resting on her palms as she leaned towards me.
It was a more intimate move than a few weeks ago, but at the time, it didn't seem strange.
"What about you? Do you like Ferris wheels?"
Just as I had asked her, those words came back to me. But I didn't have much to say.
I had never been to an amusement park, much less ridden one. Everything I knew about amusement parks came from animations or videos.
[I don't know.]
I had no negative or positive thoughts about Ferris wheels; my feelings about them were completely indifferent. But those words, when processed by Connie, would not just be ignored.
"You don't know...? Have you ever been on a Ferris wheel?"
[No.]
"Well, that's understandable. The line is always huge, and many people avoid the ride. Are there any other rides you like?"
[No.]
"So are there any you don't like?"
[No.]
After receiving three discouraging negative responses, Connie's gaze seemed to sharpen. If it had been anyone else, they would have given up on the conversation, but these responses seemed to pique her interest even more.
"Just to confirm, have you ever been to an amusement park before?"
Through the previous three questions, she seemed to have uncovered my circumstances, even though I had not directly addressed them.
I was surprised by Connie's quick thinking, but I answered her anyway; it was not really a secret.
[No.]
Upon receiving my confirmation, Connie's mouth dropped open slightly. Her surprised reaction made me a little hesitant.
Was it really that surprising that I had never been to an amusement park?
Her gaze became vacant, and her gestures turned reluctant before she asked me the next question.
"...Is there a reason for that?"
I couldn't understand the reason for her strange behavior, but I saw no reason not to respond.
[Money.]
It was not that I never had the opportunity to go to an amusement park, but none of them were worth it. They were expensive, and my grandmother was already struggling to make ends meet.
As I became a salaried adult, I had less and less time, and what time I did have, I spent watching anime or playing games. As a single adult, there was no reason to go to an amusement park.
This was not a big deal to me, but Connie did not seem to share my perspective. Her expression became increasingly strange as she spoke to me.
"What about toys? Is there anything you like?"
Her question seemed to change in nature slightly. Now that I think about it, Priyanka had told her to buy me a toy on the way, so this question was not entirely unfounded.
Unfortunately for Connie, my interest in this topic was also minimal.
[No.]
I was starting to feel embarrassed about saying so many no's, but there was no better answer to Connie's questions.
Her eyes stared into my dull ones for a moment in awkward silence. She seemed to be working up the courage to ask another question.
"So... what did you usually do in your free time?"
But despite her reluctant attitude, it was an extremely simple question, and finally one I could answer.
[Watch cartoons.]
Only after seeing my answer did Connie seem to sigh with relief.
"Oh, cartoons, that makes sense. What cartoons did you usually watch?"
[...]
At this question, I suddenly froze. The cartoon I had watched the most was "Steven Universe," along with others like "The Amazing World of Gumball" or "Adventure Time." However, such works did not exist in this world.
There were not even equivalents to popular anime.
This made Connie's simple question extremely difficult to answer, but there was no need to think too much.
[I don't remember.]
I did not want to say a random name because there was a chance Connie would look it up later, so I simply said I did not remember the title.
"You don't remember...? So even Asha can forget things like that, haha..."
Her reaction felt off, and the laugh she added at the end only made it more suspicious.
After that, though, Connie didn't seem interested in asking anything else.
While this was a relief, it was also a shame.
My goal was to lure Connie to the amusement park, but the conversation had turned into a series of questions about my hobbies and interests.
I really should have prepared better and studied some old cartoons of this world beforehand; it seemed I had killed the conversation with my eccentric behavior.
Perhaps the only viable option was to ask Doug directly, something I was a little embarrassed to do at my age.
But to my surprise, the quiet Connie said something I had not imagined even in my wildest dreams.
"Would you like to go to the amusement park for the first time with me?"
Out of nowhere, she suggested going to the amusement park together. She looked uncertain, yet what she said was inviting.
Seeing the plan taking shape even without my intervention, I simply nodded in a daze.
Maybe luck was finally starting to be on my side.
*
Author's note
The chapter came a little late. Part of it was because I forgot, but part of it was because I struggled to write. I felt very discouraged last week about writing, and that affected my Patreon posts. I'm feeling better now and have started writing Broken Peridot again.
Have a good day 🍪
*
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