Inside the room, Arthur leaned against the headboard, staring blankly at the ceiling.
With Lily away, he didn't feel like going home. Strangely, he felt more at ease staying here alone in the barracks.
The empty room, just himself inside, had never bothered him before. But now, even a short separation left him feeling oddly hollow.
"People… really shouldn't get too used to comfort," he muttered in self-mockery.
He'd lived alone for so long that solitude was normal. Now, living with Lily had become normal, too. It was easy to move from being used to solitude to being used to companionship, but going the reverse way? That was the painful trick.
"Maybe humans are just social creatures by nature," Arthur mused, his thoughts rambling aimlessly.
But no matter how he tried to distract himself, his mind kept circling back to the one question that tore at him:
"Did I… do the right thing?"
He felt lost, a sensation entirely unfamiliar. In the past, no matter how dire the situation or how out of his control things became, once he made a decision, he never second-guessed it.
But this time, the wound cut too deep.
"The palm and the back of the hand, both are flesh," he sighed softly.
He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, but he couldn't. He stayed there until a knock came at the door. Arthur finally exhaled, got up, and went to open it.
Standing outside was Natasha.
She gave him a quick, assessing glance. "You free?"
"So free I could lay an egg," Arthur said dryly. "I should be busy as hell right now, so why the sudden lull?"
"Maybe you just don't know what to do with yourself," Natasha suggested with a teasing smile. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"
"Come in," Arthur said, stepping aside.
Natasha walked in and casually settled onto a chair. "You don't look quite yourself. Like something's genuinely bothering you. Actually… if it's about me and Lily, don't keep overthinking it. People like us can find a way to coexist. In fact, if you prefer, I can make sure I never appear in front of you two again."
Arthur waved a hand. "No, it's not that. That situation stings, yeah, but right now, I've got something else just as painful on my plate."
"Something else?" Natasha raised an eyebrow, a flash of something unreadable in her eyes. "You have another woman?"
Did she find out about Hela?
Arthur blinked rapidly. "No, that was forced! Really!"
"…So there is one?" Natasha looked genuinely surprised. "Do all heroes have to be this flirtatious by default?"
"What chaos are you talking about?" Arthur said, annoyed. "That was Odin playing matchmaker without even asking me!"
"Odin?" Natasha looked puzzled. "What does he have to do with this?"
"Ever since I first set foot in Asgard, that old man's been trying to pair me up with his daughter, Hela…"
Being seen through so easily made Arthur feel strangely guilty, like a thief caught red-handed. But his relationship with Hela was, truthfully, entirely innocent. It had started because Odin had forced him into it, and afterward, for reasons Arthur still couldn't understand, Hela herself seemed to have some sort of cosmic short-circuit and also forced him.
Since Natasha already knew, he figured he might as well come clean about the entire ridiculous sequence of events. After recounting the whole thing, Arthur clapped his hands together and said helplessly,
"See? In this entire mess, I'm actually the victim here!"
Natasha blinked, and to Arthur's shock, her eyes suddenly turned red, brimming with unshed tears.
Arthur froze, flustered. "H-hey, don't cry! Please don't cry, once you start, I'm completely defenseless."
He stood there awkwardly, wanting to wipe her tears, but stopped himself. In what capacity could he even do that now? The last time she'd cried, it had been natural to comfort her, but this time, his hand hesitated mid-air, unsure if he still had that right.
"I'm not crying because of that goddess named Hela," Natasha said softly, her voice thick. "It's just… when I think about it, someday, when my life reaches its end, when my youth is gone, you'll still look exactly as you do now. Even when I'm dead, you'll still be here, in this world… carrying the memory of me, living on with that longing in your heart… I feel sad for you."
Arthur's inner turmoil instantly froze into silence.
He stood motionless for a moment, then rubbed his temples helplessly and muttered,
"I must have saved the entire universe in my previous life… otherwise, how could I deserve to meet you and Lily in this one?"
"Meeting you is the greatest happiness of my life," Natasha said, gazing at him as she gently wiped the tears from her eyes. "Tell me, Arthur, what does immortality really mean?"
"I don't know," Arthur admitted honestly. "I can sense that my life form has gone beyond the limits of humanity, but as for immortality, I don't really grasp it. I live in the present, I struggle with the present… who can say what'll happen a hundred, two hundred years from now?"
"In that sense," Natasha said quietly, "I almost feel relieved that when the time comes, you'll still have Hela by your side."
She looked at him, her eyes dim. "Odin will eventually fall, and Hela will fade away as well. But you, you'll endure. The more you experience, the more you'll see, the more bonds you'll form. And when those bonds reach their end, when everyone you love leaves you behind, you'll still have to keep walking forward. You can't stop, you can't vanish. That kind of pain… just imagining it makes my heart ache. It's too cruel for you."
Arthur gave a small, weary smile. "Plenty of people would kill for what I have. Isn't it a bit silly to mourn now for pain I haven't even felt yet? Maybe one day, when I truly feel the agony of eternal life, I'll cry my eyes out, then dig a hole and bury myself for a while. Though honestly, I'm not sure even that would kill me. At this point, nothing conventional can."
Their conversation had somehow drifted far off-topic, into something heavier and more profound than his recent troubles.
Only Natasha's heart remained weighed down. She bit her lip, looked at Arthur, then suddenly set down the papers she had been holding, stood up from the chair, and threw herself into his arms.
Arthur instinctively caught her, and then quickly let go, his grip softening. He didn't push her away, but he said softly,
"Could you… Just give me a little more time?"
"I don't want anything," Natasha whispered, tightening her hold momentarily. "I just want to hold you… just for a moment."
Arthur tilted his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He bit his lip and murmured bitterly,
"I really do have… the filthiest soul imaginable."
(End of Chapter)
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