Part 7
"Hey, why do you guys look so tired? I think I saw the three off you run off somewhere last night, but what did you do?"
I'm riding the carriage together with my usual party today.
Keith and Taylor are completely slouched into their seats in the carriage. As for me, I'm so tired that even answering that question was too bothersome for me.
"Well, I had a really strange dream last night. I really don't want to recall it."
"You too, Taylor?"
The two of them chased me in a half naked state for over an hour.
I ran with more desperation than I ever did while fighting monsters, but they eventually caught up to me. Fortunately, before they could do anything, they mysteriously fell over and started snoring.
I couldn't possibly leave the two of them out there alone, so after some effort, I managed to drag them back to their sleeping spots.
Conveniently, the two of them think that it was all a dream. There's no need to tell them the truth.
"Did you have a weird dream too, Dust?"
"Y-Yeah. Let's leave it at that. I don't really want to think about it."
Even after they've regained their senses, just looking at them put me on guard.
I'd be able to accept it somehow if they were women, but why the hell did it have to be them?
In the end, none of the girls breathed the smoke in, so it didn't work. Even if it did work, the effect would've long faded away by now. Just like these two.
"To think the three of you would get nightmares on the same night. Lolisa can use a dream controlling spell, right? Maybe you should get her to show you some good dreams tonight. Oh, yeah, you should drink some water, Dust. You look really pale."
I resigned myself to being made fun of, but to think that Lynn'd be concerned for me.
She even moved over to me and started fussing over me.
…Is she planning some kind of trick or something?
Seeing this level of concern from her is uncanny. She has to be planning something.
"Ah, thanks for the water."
Well, it'd be scary in it's own way if I were to earn her ire here, so I guess I'll just go along with it for now.
Our hands briefly touched as she passed the cup over to me.
"T-That wasn't on purpose! It really was just a coincidence!"
"I know that. I wouldn't get angry over something of that level."
Nevermind getting angry, she even gently covered the part where we made contact with her other hand… The hell?
Just what is she plotting?
Taylor and Keith have both nodded off due to their fatigue, so they didn't pick up on Lynn's unusual behaviour.
This is scary. This is really scary! Watching her behave with such kindness is really strange!
I tried to get help from Taylor and Keith, but they didn't stir at all.
Afterwards, Lynn stuck close to me and chatted over various things.
Keeping her possible motives at the back of my mind, I tried my best not to be swept up by this strange atmosphere in the carriage as we rode on.
"Dust, Dust, Alcanretia is in sight!"
Lynn enthusiastically slapped me on the back as she leaned out the window.
She's in surprisingly high spirits today. I might be imagining it, but it feels like we've been having a lot more bodily contact. She's even happily clinging onto my arm. Seriously, just what the hell is going on?
Looking out the window to distract myself from this inexplicable fear I was feeling, I was greeted by a breathtakingly beautiful sight.
A sea of blue topped buildings as befitting the city of water spread out before me, and the labyrinth of waterways spread throughout made the entire city give off a blue shine.
"Ooh, it really is a beautiful place. As expected of the famous healing resort. I should bring back a nice souvenir for Kazuma."
"Yeah, we should properly thank him. Why don't we go shop around for a souvenir later?"
Lynn showed me an unblemished smile. I've never seen her look at me in such a gentle way before.
And she just invited me to go shopping with her…
"Hey, what's up with you? Is this some kind of new trick? Every time I tried to go shopping with you, you'd say something like 'you'd just buy some sake on your own and get me to treat you, so no' and decline."
"You really don't understand a woman's heart, do you, Dust? I just want to cheer you up, that's why…"
She's looking at me with upturned eyes. Wait, could this situation be… It can't be!
Can it?
My popular period… No, could it be that the marble actually took effect?
Considering her actions so far, that certainly is the most likely explanation. However, wouldn't it have worn off by now?
Lynn was coughing back then, so perhaps she sucked in a bit more smoke than the others and thus allowed the effect to persist.
No, I'm sure that's what happened! Please let it be the case!
That changes things. There's only one course of action a man can take in such a situation.
"Well, if you feel like it."
Towards Lynn's slowly approaching face, I-
"We've arrived, Dust-san!"
As the door to the carriage suddenly flew open, Lynn and I hurriedly distanced ourselves.
Yunyun and Loli Succubus were standing before the open door.
The two of them greeted me with bright smiles, but, when their gaze met Lynn's, for the briefest of instants, those smiles faltered.
It could've just been the trick of my eye, but it felt like they were staring daggers at her for a moment.
They were getting along so well together when I saw them last night. Did something happen?
Nothing good ever comes out of getting involved in the quarrels of women. It might be best to keep my distance for a while.
"Oh, so we have. Let's head to the inn first to drop off our luggage."
Keith and Taylor plodded their way over to the inn. I think they're talking to someone in the distance. Most likely, they are asking about recommended sights and the like.
"Hmm? The steam from this hot spring is… Ouch! Vanir-sama, this steam stings when you touch it!"
"So this is the city of layabouts, Alcanretia. As expected of the city that worships that brainless goddess, it has a most deplorable air about it."
The residents of the city who heard Sir's remarks started glaring at us.
I can feel some extraordinary killing intent in those gazes.
And it's not just one or two of them. Pretty much everyone around us is staring daggers at Sir Vanir.
"Don't do that, Vanir-san! Most of the residents in this city revere the Goddess Aqua-sama. If you say such strange stuff, they'll really start picking on us!"
Yunyun hastily looked around, her face completely drained of blood as she repeatedly bowed.
Wait, didn't she just say something really amazing just now?
"Hey, Yunyun, what did you just say?"
"Hmm, you mean what they'll do? They'll do some really amazing things! You can't let your guard down even if it's a child. They'll do stuff like purposely not adding ice to your drinks, rearranging your shoes after you've taken them off, and giving you the only charred piece of meat when you order-"
"That's some really petty acts of revenge! No, wait, that's not it, didn't you say something about worshipping the Goddess Aqua or something?"
"Ah, that. Most of the priests of the Axis Cult make their residence in this city, and most of the population are members of the Axis Cult."
"Whaaat!? This city is full of people like Kazuma's bothersome Axis Priest!? Hey, you knew about this before, right? Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
I've gotten involved with Axis cultists before, and there wasn't a single proper one amongst them.
You're telling me that this place is their headquarters?
As I drew near, Yunyun blushed and averted her gaze.
"Y-Your face is too close! Umm, well, about that… It felt like this trip would be cancelled if I told you about that in advance. It's my first time traveling with so many people… even if we're traveling to this city, I was still really looking forward to it…"
So she choose to come on this trip due to her loner personality, huh.
Ah, well, I'm directing my complaints at the wrong person. Plus, it's encouraging to know that someone has survived after visiting this place.
"Oh, fine. This city might have a lot of Axis Cultists, but it'd be fine as long as we don't get involved with them. The Axis priesthood might be full of strange people, but the average worshipper probably won't be as bad."
There's no way everyone in this town is the likes of that Banquet Priest or that sinful priest I ran into back during that incident with Mitsurugi's sword.
I'm a little concerned as to why Yunyun continued to avert her gaze, but there's no way there'd be another person on that level.
An old lady approached us with a face full of smiles.
"Ara, are you people here to sightsee too?"
"Yeah, we are on the way to the inn…"
"Then take this with you. This is a discount coupon. If you write your name here, you can turn it in for various services at the inn!"
The piece of paper she presented to me has a line meant for my signature.
Everything else is covered by the old lady's hands, so I can't read it.
"Could you please move your hand? I can't read what's written on it."
"Now, now, men shouldn't care about stuff like that. Now, come on, write your name here."
Such actions are quite reminiscent of the techniques that money loaners use when they want me to sign a document.
Don't worry about the details, just sign on the dotted line.
It's probably some kind of scheme to trick tourists into buying some expensive goods.
"Right, well, lend me a pen so I can write down my name."
"Ah, sorry for not noticing. Here you go."
Taking advantage of the instant when her attention was diverted, I pulled the piece of paper out from her hand.
The only things written on that piece of paper were simple terms for the discount. There isn't anything particularly suspicious about it.
"What did you do that for? There's nothing to it, right? Come on now, take this pen and sign here."
My instincts are telling me that there is something suspicious about this old lady's enthusiasm is getting me to sign.
Perhaps there is some nearly invisible small print on that piece of paper.. No, there doesn't seem like there are any.
Could it really be just a simple discount coupon?
"Sorry for doubting you. Right here is fine, right?"
"Yes, right there. It might be a little hard for the ink to come out, so push strongly, yes, strongly on it when you write."
She's putting a lot of emphasis on that point.
Hmm… Isn't this paper a little thick? Could it be…
I grabbed a corner of the paper and turned it over.
Another piece of paper is stuck to the underside of the discount coupon, which I peeled off.
Written on that are the words 'Axis Cult recruitment form'.
"Fuck off! I ain't signing that! That's carbon paper, right!? I almost got tricked into the Axis Cult!"
"Oh, could you already be an Axis Cultist? You have the smell of a comrade on you."
"Don't lump me together with you! Go elsewhere! Shoo!"
I shoved my hand in her direction like I was chasing aware a stray dog.
To think that the first person I talked to upon entering this city would be a religious solicitor…
"You guys should be on your gua-"
"Oh my, has your skin gotten rougher lately? Give this a try! This is made out of all natural ingredients, without any trace of impurities that would damage your skin! Just rubbing it on your skin will make it flawless. It's made out of water from the hot springs! The very same water that's extremely effective when thrown at undeads and devils."
"Hey there, you seem like a person overflowing with the aura of loneliness. Have you heard about this water? Drinking this will increase your luck with both friends and money. It's said that it will easily attract lovers too."
"Handsome masked man and the beautiful young lady over there, are you guys enjoying life? If there's anything that is stressing you out or leaving you unsatisfied, why not join the Axis Cult? As long as it has nothing to do with undead or devils, the Axis cult will accept anything… Hmm? Something's off about you two…"
I tried to warn them, but my companions were already surrounded by a crowd of people, pestering them to join their cult or trying to peddle some suspicious items.
The suspicious smile on the face of the man talking to Sir Vanir and Loli Succubus vanished and was replaced by a doubtful frown, and the bottom of Sir Vanir's mouth twitched unpleasantly in response.
My other companions got caught up in the crowd that has formed around us and looked towards me with a pleading expression.
"You're in the way, get lost! We ain't joining the Axis Cult, so piss off! And stop selling stuff too! Don't just bottle up the water from the hot springs and sell it!"
I yelled, but the crowd didn't disperse at all.
Perhaps having somehow determined that she was the easiest target in our group, the crowd was unusually thick around Yunyun.
"Ah, I do want friends, but sorry, that's a little… eh, if I join up, everyone in the cult will become my friend…"
"Don't get recruited that easily! Hey, move!"
I grabbed Yunyun's hand and pulled her out of the crowd.
Perhaps because it's stuffy being surrounded by so many people, Yunyun's face was flushed as she looked up at me.
"Thank you, Dust-san."
"Seriously, don't fall for that kind of recruitment pitch. You have the air of a pushover about you, so you need to be a little more firm."
"Yeah, I suppose… Though, you'll help me out just like this when I get in trouble, won't you?"
Looking up at me with slightly damp eyes, Yunyun cheerfully laughed.
Seeing this sent shivers down my spine.
Normally you'd complain about sexual harassment or what not every time you see my face, so what's with this gentle expression you're showing me?
"You hatched some kind of scheme together with Lynn, didn't you? What, are you going to start screaming about how hungry you are when we pass by a high class eatery and beg me to treat you? Or, what, are you angry about the money I begged of you to cover the tab at that roadside bar?"
"I don't care about that. After all… aren't we close?"
Saying that, Yunyun pushed her body onto my arm.
She might be a brat, but she's pretty well developed, so when she presses her body against me like that…
"Hey, I'm not that easy to trick! This is way too good to be true! You learned about the effects of that marble from Sir, that's why you're putting on an act to mess with me, right!? Let's hurry up and drop our luggage off at the inn!"
Untangling myself from Yunyun, I pushed my way out of the crowd of people and headed off to the inn.
After fending off waves of salesmen hawking flasks of bottled hot springs water and suspicious-looking gems, we met up with Taylor and Keith, who had their pockets stuffed full of Axis Cult recruitment forms, and finally reached the inn.
"Moi was prepared for this, but still, what an unpleasant city this is. There's barely a shred of dark emotions amongst the residents, yet visitors to this town are overflowing with such. Moi can understand why even the Demon King himself doesn't wish to get involved with this town."
"Um, they say that bathing in the waters of the hot springs will make your skin flawless…"
Sir has been in a bad mood ever since he came to this city.
Loli Succubus on the other hand has been trying to get as close as she could to the hot springs without getting hurt. She's been standing at the entrance to the hot springs ever since we reached the inn.
"Right, lets have some free time after dropping off the luggage. Is that fine with you, Sir?"
"That is fine. Moi shall tour the streets of this city. Perhaps moi shall play with the foolish townsfolk who worship that useless goddess."
"O-Oh. Do try not to take it too far. I'll go enjoy the hot springs. I'll be using the mixed baths, of course!"
I boldly declared in a voice loud enough for everyone in the hall to hear.
If the marble actually worked and the girls weren't just messing with me, they'll definitely join me in the bath.
"Oh, the mixed baths, I see. Well, do as you wish, I'll take my stuff up to my room."
"Ah, I'll go visit the rooms too."
"See you later, Vanir-sama."
The girls disappeared off to the rooms without any particular reaction.
See, I knew they were just messing with me.
The rooms are set up such that each room houses two people. Originally, Lynn and I were supposed to share the same room, but they ended up changing the room assignment after the straw drawing incident, so I ended up in the same room as Vanir.
After dropping off my luggage in my room, I changed into clothes more suitable for bathing before heading back down again.
In front of the baths were three entrances, one labeled men, one labeled mixed baths, and the third labeled women.
Of course, I walked into the mixed baths without hesitation.
"Well, not like there'd be any women in the mixed baths anyway."
Despite saying that, I harboured a small smidgen of hope as I opened the door into the hot springs proper.
There was no one else there.
Well, it is in the middle of the day, after all. I suppose that's to be expected.
"It's almost like I reserved the entire place for myself. Well, I guess I'll take my time and relax."
After rinsing myself off, I submerged myself into the hot springs up to my shoulders and lazily gazed around through the steam.
A wooden wall could be seen at the edge of my vision. The only obstacle between the mixed bath and the women's bath…
"Still, the easiest explanation for the strange behavior of those two today would be that the marble has taken effect, but no matter how I think of it, it's way too suspicious. Sir Vanir pulling some strings to make me think that the marble has worked, only to pull the rug out from under me at the critical moment to bask in my dark emotions… To be honest, that is the most likely scenario."
I know full well that the marble actually does work from last night, but they've long since come back to their senses.
Is it possible for the effects to linger?
"Well, who knows. I should've properly listened to what Sir had to say. Ah, well, it's too late for that now."
Going down this line of thought would just be a waste of time, so I pushed it to the back of my mind and swam over to the wooden wall.
I tried searching for a peephole or the like, but I couldn't find any.
"Maybe I can at least overhear something."
I pressed my ear against the wall, but I only received silence in return.
"I wonder if Lynn and the others will come in if I wait a while. Ah, if only I brought a knife or something, I could've made a hole myself."
Just as I was mumbling that, I heard the sliding door to the bath clatter open.
It's probably some dude or an old geezer, so I glanced over without much expectations, but…
The person that entered was Yunyun, wearing only a towel barely enough to cover her important bits.
"Ah, Dust-san, what a coincidence…"
"Fuweh!?"
I let out a strange squawk in my surprise.
It's hard to make out her expression through the steam, but she seems to be glancing my way with a bashful expression. In any case, she doesn't seem surprised at all.
Yeah, she really has a great figure… no, wait!
Just what the hell is going on!? This is going way too far for a prank!
Could it be, is she actually serious?
"Um, if it's not too much trouble, c-can I join you?"
"A-Ah, sure, just do as you wish."
Dammit, my voice is wavering from the excitement.
Haven't I seen plenty of sexy ladies at the bar and the succubus shop?
The contents of the dreams that they show me are far more exciting than this, so why the hell am I getting so nervous?
After testing the temperature of the water with her toe, she slowly entered the pool.
I couldn't take my eyes off her at all.
"Umm, well, err… Can I come over there?"
"Er, well, s-sure, why not?"
.
------------------------------->
.
Yunyun slowly made her way closer through the rising clouds of steam.
Her figure became ever clearer, until it feels like I could just reach out and touch her.
The sound of me gulping resonated through my head.
"It's a strange feeling, being this close to a naked man…"
Her skin was shining due to the moisture from the steam, and her face was blushing a bright red.
Looking up at me with wavering eyes, she let out a bashful giggle.
W-What should I do here? Is it proper to make a move here?
No, no, wait, she's a kid. Why the hell am I getting excited about this?
"Err, uh, have you gotten better at interacting with others recently?"
"Not at all. The only person I can act this boldly towards is you… Dust-san."
This is bad. The way she bashfully says such things is really making my heart skip a beat.
Not even the girls at the bar have said such things to me before.
Is it fine? Is it really fine? It's only proper for a man to take the initiative here, right!?
No, shit, I need to clear my head. Keep calm, me, keep calm.
Just as I was desperately trying to calm myself down, the sliding door slid open again with a clatter.
Both Yunyun and I turned towards the entrance, and standing right there was Lynn, clad in nothing but a towel.
Meeting her murderous gaze, the lightheadedness that the hot springs and this situation bestowed upon me vanished in an instant.
"Why is Yunyun in the mixed bath?"
She said it in a soft voice. Shit, that's the tone she only uses when she's really angry.
"I-I'm free to enter the mixed baths when I want. Besides, didn't you say you had no interest in the mixed bath, Lynn-san?"
"I just felt like it! I didn't expect the two of you to be be here!"
Hearing the sharpness in her tone, Yunyun let out a frightened squeak.
This is bad… She's really dangerous when she's angry.
The number one survival trick for adventurers is to identify danger quickly and make a run for it.
Slowly, I distanced myself from Yunyun.
"Ah, are you two stealing a march on me!? No fair! I want my skin to become flawless too! I even resolved myself to brave the steam to come here!"
Loli Succubus burst through the doorway without even a towel to cover her up.
However, for some reason, her important bits are covered up by steam, so I couldn't get a good look. Dammit, what the hell is up with that?
This is getting complicated.
It would seem like the textbook definition of a harem, but it was completely different from what I imagined.
"You girls just recently got to know him, right? I'm the one here who's been with him the longest!"
"T-That has no relevance to this! In the romance novels I've read, the one who's been with the male lead the longest frequently loses!"
"I'm the one who is most familiar with Dust-san's preferences!"
The three of them were clinging on to me as they argued.
It's hard for me to believe this dreamlike development actually took place, but it seems like those three actually fell for me.
Thank you, Sir Vanir!
There's only one thing I can do in such a situation.
"Come, now, let's not fight over me. Why don't we all just get into the bath together? For now, Yunyun can take my left hand, Loli Su-Sa can take my right hand, and Lynn can take the one that's lef-"
"You can shut up!"
"…yes."
The three of them scolded me at the same time.
I could only watch as their argument heated up even more.
"Oh screw it, now that it's come to this, we'll just have to settle this through brawn. I'll make Dust mine even if I have to blow you two away!"
"Don't look down on me! I'm the one who will be the future chief of the Crimson Demon clan! Do you really think you can best me!?"
"I'll put you all to sleep!"
Everyone's preparing to cast magic.
Crap, this is bad. If I don't find a way to calm them down…!
I dashed over to the washing area and splashed a basin of cold water upon them.
"Kya, it's cold!"
"W-What are you doing, Dust…-san…"
"Ouch, it hurts! Why is my body growing numb?"
I think Loli Succubus is overreacting a little, but it seems like everyone's calmed down a little at least.
They were looking at me with a slowly stiffening gaze. Is the water too cold, I wonder?
Still, it looks like I'd be able to get through to them like this.
"Okay, okay, I understand how you feel about me. Why don't we take turns in thirty minute intervals, starting with Lynn?"
I proposed a compromise with a smile on my face.
And the response I got was
"DIE!"
Before being pelted by a barrage of magic from the three of them.
Part 8
"Ah, looking up at the sky while taking a bath feels really great."
The sun shone brilliantly on this cloudless day.
My entire body hurts, but I have to be thankful to even be alive right now.
"So you've fallen this far. Your dark emotions are delicious indeed."
Hearing Sir's voice, I turned towards it and saw the tuxedo clad form standing on a platform at the edge of the hot springs.
"What exactly happened, sir? They were under the effects of the marble, right?"
"Up until just now, at least. If a small amount of smoke is inhaled, the effects will gradually express themselves, and the duration of the effect will also be increased."
That's why they only started acting strangely in the morning, unlike Taylor and Keith.
If only I knew about that from the start, I could've enjoyed a lot of different scenarios.
"Ah, dammit, what a waste."
"Still, weren't your desires granted?"
"Well, yeah, I did end up in a mixed bath, but please, Sir, stop telling me stuff in such a vague manner and properly explain things!"
"But that wouldn't be interesting at all. In order to obtain such fine dark emotions, it's best to present a vague idea of the future."
Sir Vanir seems to have taken great delight in my dark emotions.
Well, it's my fault for getting tricked in the first place. Getting angry at Sir would just be being a sore loser.
"Well, I guess it's time for me to turn in."
"By the way, the girls who ended up falling for you still remember exactly what happened when they were under the influence of that magic item. They must be overcome by embarrassment right now."
"Seriously? Oh, give me a break…"
It feels like I'd be enduring far harsher treatment than I've ever experienced for the next few days.
Just imagining it gives me the chills.
I think I'll just stay here and warm up for a while.
"Oh dammit, I got my expectations up because someone's already here, but it's just Dust."
"Hey, Dust, Lynn and the others were blushing bright red in the hallway earlier. Do you know anything about that?"
Looks like Keith and Taylor have decided to join me.
Sir Vanir had vanished before I realized it.
"Who knows? Maybe there was a peeping tom or something?"
I flippantly replied, and they looked at me with a suspicious gaze.
Yeah, they totally suspect me.
"Don't take it too far now. The residents here are a little, well, but the hot springs are quite exceptional."
"Phew~ Yeah, it's a city of weirdos, but the hot springs are amazing."
After soaking into the pool, the two of them gazed up at the sky.
Seeing their naked bodies brought back memories from last night, and I vigorously shook my head to get that image out of it.
"Well, it's a pity there aren't any women here, but this isn't too bad."
"Yeah, it's more relaxing to be amongst men. I don't think I'll care for women for a while."
The other two gave me a strange look after I said that.
Did I say something odd?
"Hey, what's wrong? Did you catch some kind of weird disease? You should take an early night today."
"To think that you of all people would say that… Don't push yourself if you aren't feeling well, you hear?"
They seem genuinely worried about me.
Normally I'd be getting angry right now, but after getting into the hot springs, I don't really care about such trifles.
Plus, they are genuinely concerned for my wellbeing.
"Yeah, seems like what you really ought to have are male friends."
-x-X-x-
Konosuba Dust Spinoff 2: Chapter 4
-x-X-x-
Part 1
I took a light nap after getting out from the hot springs, and by the time I woke up, it's gotten dark out.
I couldn't see Sir in the room anywhere, so I decided to head out in search of food.
There's a dining room on the first floor of the inn, but it's best to avoid seeing them for now, so I'll search for another restaurant.
As I was heading towards the main street, I saw a single woman walking towards me.
"Oh, she has a pretty good body. Maybe I should hit on… Nah, forget it. I've had enough of women for a while."
Normally I would call out to her, but after everything I've gone through, I don't feel like making a move right now.
Just as we were about to pass each other, the woman tripped on something and the contents of her shopping basket spilled out on the floor.
"Kyaa! What should I do!? The apples that I bought…"
Just as I nonchalantly helped the panicked woman pick up the fallen apples, she suddenly put down her shopping basket on the roadside and grasped my hand.
"Thank you very much! You really saved me! I wonder if there's anything I can do to thank you…"
She's keeping a really tight grip on my hand.
Wait, this tactic…
"There's a cafe operated by the Axis Cult just a short while ahead. Would you mind having a chat with me there?"
"I knew it! This is another one of those recruitment scams!"
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'm really good at fortune telling. I wouldn't mind telling your fortune for free…"
As I tried to leave, the woman grabbed onto my clothes and refused to let go.
This girl's surprisingly strong. I'm using quite a bit of strength to pry her away from me, but she isn't budging an inch!
"Oh, I can see your fortune now! I foresee great troubles with women in your future! But don't worry. Everything will work out fine if you join the Axis Cult!"
"I already have great troubles with women! Seriously, let go! If you keep at it, don't blame me for fondling your boobs!"
"Say, what are you doing?"
The one who called out to me as I was struggling with the woman was the female thief, Chris.
"Oh, my, what a pitiful chest you have. But don't worry, it's fine. The Axis Cult preaches to love all regardless of the size of their chests, so why not join the Axis Cult?"
"You sure say some really rude things… Unfortunately, I'm already a member of the Eris Church."
Chris bitterly smiled and showed her Eris Church pendant to the woman.
The bright smile on the woman's face instantly vanished, to be replaced with an expression that made her seem like she just bit into something incredibly bitter.
"Pui."
She spat on the ground, picked up her shopping basket, and quickly walked away.
Chris and I were too dumbfounded to do anything but stare at her back.
"…Pui."
After taking a few steps, she briefly stopped, spat on the ground once more, and continued on her way.
"I've heard the rumours, but the headquarters of the Axis Cult really can't be taken lightly…"
"Yeah. I've really underestimated the Axis Cult… Still, you're finally here. The girls are back in the inn."
"Ah, I see. What were you doing out here alone?"
"It's a little awkward to meet them right now, so I thought I'd go elsewhere to get a meal."
"That means you're free, right? In that case, come with me. It's tough being an Eris Cultist in this city, so I'd like an escort. Come on, I'll treat you to a meal."
I had no reason to refuse. It's not like I have a lot of money in my wallet right now.
Plus, having an Eris Cultist around might prove to be a good shield against the residents of this town.
Part 2
As I was wandering around with Chris,
A woman whom I've never met before approached me, claiming to be a distant relative of mine before trying to recruit me.
A man tried to lead me to a building that's unmistakably a church with the line "It's free, so why not come take a look at my art exhibition?"
A genuine looking priest claiming to see the figure of a devil on my shoulder and offered to exorcise it.
In short-
"Hey, what the hell is wrong with this town!? Isn't it odd that a young girl like that would ask you to sign an Axis Cult recruitment form!?"
"Even I was taken aback by that. To think that a girl so young would be so devious. Perhaps it's best to just wipe this city from the map entirely?"
Chris, who was one step away from falling for that girl's act, said while holding her head in her hands.
I finally understand why Kazuma would give those vouchers to me. It's not something you want to experience again.
It's really bothersome to deal with the members of the Axis Cult, so after a while, whenever they would approach us, I would immediately point towards Chris and go,
"Sorry, she's an Eris Cultist."
Afterwards, they would spit on the ground, throw stones at her, or scream, "Eris pads her chest!" before immediately leaving, which made our journey far easier. Having her around is really convenient.
"This isn't senpai's fault, this isn't senpai's fault…"
Chris has started muttering some incomprehensible things as we moved along. Seems like she's suffered quite a bit of mental trauma from this.
Despite that, we still resolutely trudged on to our destination.
The reason we encountered more Axis Cultists as we proceeded is because our destination is close to the church that served as the Axis Cult's headquarters.
Walking right into the church would be akin to committing suicide, but fortunately, we had no business there.
Next to the church is a beautiful lake that is the source of much of the city's water. But that isn't our destination either.
Our destination is the large mountain behind the church where the source of the city's hot springs is located.
"Say, what business do you have with the mountain exactly?"
"Well, I accepted a little quest to investigate the abilities of the hot springs."
"Abilities? Oh, yeah, the cultists were saying something about it making your skin flawless, or it being extremely effective against devils and undead and other such crazy things."
"I came here to investigate that."
The stuff they say are mixed with lies, so it'd be useless to simply ask around about it.
If that's the contents of the quest, then there's no choice but to investigate it yourself. Well, as long as I can get a small portion of the reward and a meal out of it, I have no complaints.
Two knightly looking men are standing on the road leading to the source.
Well, it's the lifeblood for this city, so I suppose it's only natural for there to be guards.
"Excuse me, I'd like to pass through."
"Sorry, but I can't let you pass without permission. A lot of unpleasant events happened around here in the past, so things are a little stricter now."
The two knights averted their gaze and let out a huge sigh.
I'm kinda curious as to what happened.
"What happened?"
"A General of the Demon King's army tried to corrupt the source of the hot springs, but a band of adventurers who happened to be recuperating here took him out. However… apparently, the source got purified by the Archpriest, so now all it pumps out is plain hot water."
"Well, that certainly sounds horrible."
If the hot springs of a hot springs town turns into simple hot water, there'd be no point to its existence.
Wait, hold on a minute, weren't there a lot of tourists in the city? If anything, it seems to be thriving right now.
"But, for some reason, a rumour started spreading around that taking a bath in the waters will heal your wounds and repel undead and devils, so more people started visiting than ever before."
"They even say that the water from the springs will purify undead and devils when it's splashed on them."
What kind of hot springs is that?
Rather than hot springs, isn't it more similar to-
"It really is holy water."
Seems like Chris had the same line of thought. She had her arms crossed and appeared deep in thought about something.
I was wondering why someone would make a request to investigate the hot springs. So that's the reason.
"Say, is there really no way you can let us through? I just want to investigate the source for a while."
"Sorry, but those are the rules. Speaking of which, a masked man came around a short while ago asking about how the Deadly Slime of the Demon King's army is doing. Is he an acquaintance of yours?"
That'd be Sir Vanir, right? What was he doing all the way out here?
"That sounds like someone I know. Did he say anything else?"
"He was mumbling something that sounds like 'covering for that incompetent shopkeeper' and 'any evidence left behind.'"
Seems like Sir had another reason to visit. I'm a little curious about it, but my instincts tell me that it's best not to pry too deeply into Sir's matters.
Leaving that matter aside, the problem right now is what to do with this hard-headed knight. Simply talking to them probably wouldn't work.
Well, they're probably Axis Cultists too. I'll just weave a lie to make use of that.
"Hey, come on, aren't we both Axis Cultists? Can't you just look the other way just his once-"
Saying that, I pressed a couple of items into the knight's hand.
"Don't think you can just bribe your way through… Hey, this is just Axis recruitment forms and hot spring manju! Besides, we're both Eris worshippers!"
So bribing them with the free stuff I got from the inn wouldn't work, huh?
"There's no way we can entrust people from the Axis Cult to guard an important facility like this!"
Well, that certainly is true.
This job is a perfect match for that serious and stuck up Eris Church.
"So you're an Eris worshipper too. Sorry to request something impossible from you."
Chris bowed deeply to the knights, flashing her pendant in the process.
As she did so, the knight's expressions immediately softened. That's really effective.
"So you were an Eris worshipper after all. I knew it, you have the same air as we do."
"Ahh, it's almost like my prayers have been answered."
"Ahaha, is that so?"
Chris let out a shy laughter as the trio commenced smalltalk.
Being uninvolved with the conversation, I lazily looked upon the night city to pass time. After a short while, Chris seemed to have wrapped up the conversation on their end, and heartily waved at the knights as she made her way back to me.
"To think that even in this town, there are proper Eris Cultists hard at work. It makes me kind of happy."
"Well, if the Axis Cult was in charge of everything, this entire city would fall to ruin. Anyway, what about the investigation?"
"Ah, that's fine. I just got the details out of them, so I'm satisfied."
"So that's quest complete, right? Then hurry up and treat me to a meal!"
"Ah, sure, sure, I promised, after all. Let's head to a restaurant, then."
I returned back to town along with a strangely happy Chris and entered a restaurant with a terrace.
The menu is overflowing and the price is reasonable too. This seems like a pretty good place.
The staff brought the food we ordered to the table, and we heartily devoured anything that looked decent.
"Oh, yes, esteemed Eris Cultist, this is a special service from our store."
"Oh, so there's a special service for Eris Cultists. I should've joined when I had the chance."
Chris still had her pendant out from when she was talking with the knights, so it seemed like the waitress noticed that.
This is probably one of the few stores in town run by Eris worshippers.
With a smile, the waitress left a pair of soft, bowl shaped items on the table.
"Thank…"
Chris's expression immediately turned frigid upon seeing those items, and her clenched fist trembled.
"Aren't those things pads?"
Knowing that she's an Eris Cultist, and further noticing her small chests, they choose to present her with this to tease her.
You really can't underestimate the Axis Cult.
After that incident, I decided that it'd be best to take the depressed Chris back to the inn.
On the way back, I overheard a bunch of drunk Axis Cultists talking loudly over something or the other.
"Aqua-sama is the best, but, to tell the truth, Eris-sama has a certain charm about her."
"You heretic, what are you saying!? But, I'll admit that the way she smiles and her chest in that portrait of her is quite charming. I want to bury my face in that bountiful chest!"
"You get it, don't you? Yeah, it's a different sort of charm than Aqua-sama's. How should I put this, she gives off an open minded, pure, heroine-like feeling. I want to become friends with Aqua-sama, but I want to make Eris-sama my wife, sorta?"
"Yeah, that's it! That's exactly it!"
Those drunkards started getting excited.
Is it really fine to want to be friends with your goddess?
Though, I guess the carefree Axis Cult will probably be fine with that.
"Why are you blushing?"
"Eh? No, it's nothing!"
Chris frantically waved her arms around to cover up her embarrassment.
It seems like she's happy that her goddess has received praise.
"I wonder what Goddess Aqua is like. After running into so many of her followers, I'm really curious as to what kind of person she herself is. I really want to meet her at least once."
"You've already met her countless times…"
"Did you say something?"
"Not particularly."
The way she responded piqued my curiosity a little, but I'm not really in the mood to interrogate someone right now, so I won't pry.
On the other side of the street, the drunks continued their conversation.
"Still, those breasts are stuffed, aren't they?"
"So I've heard. I don't mind petite chests myself, but fake breasts are a little pathetic, aren't they?"
Chris's shoulders suddenly stiffened..
Well, she's an Eris worshipper. It's only natural for her to react this way if her goddess is being made fun of.
Still, Goddess Eris definitely wore pads.
"I'm heading to bed…"
"Oh, right. Um, well, I think I prefer Goddess Eris to Goddess Aqua."
"Ha ha… Thank you."
I tried to offer some encouragement to Chris as we arrived at the inn.
Eris worshippers really shouldn't visit this town.
I could sense a vague feeling of discomfort from the Eris worshipping knights too.
"Well, I guess it doesn't matter to me."
My belly is quite full thanks to Chris's treat, so I guess I'll go to sleep.
After jumping into bed, I forgot all about the troubles of the Axis Cult and Chris's depressed mood and fell into a deep sleep.
… Just then, I was awoken by a sharp rapping on the door.
It still seems to be quite late at night, judging from what I could see outside my window. Sir Vanir hasn't returned yet, so don't tell me he forgot the keys or something?
"Is that Sir? I'll unlock the door right now."
After unlocking the door and opening it, I came face to face with Yunyun.
She was staring at the floor and fiddling with her fingers.
… She must have come here to lecture me after that incident in the hot springs.
"Umm, err…"
"I'm sorry about what happened in the mixed baths, but you were the ones who made the first move."
Well, that was because of the magic item, but she shouldn't know anything about that.
"I-I understand that. But it's strange. I became really assertive for some reason and saw Dust-san in a much better light. It's like some kind of strange illusion or something…"
"W-Well, did you drink too much sake or something?"
"I don't recall drinking anything, but perhaps I did by mistake."
She tilted her head. It feels like I'd be able to fool her like this.
"The staff probably gave you sake instead of juice and you didn't notice because you were too excited. That's probably it."
"That's… probably it. Umm, please forget about the mixed bath incident. I didn't mean anything I said, so please forget about it!"
Yunyun's face was so red that it wouldn't be surprising if steam were to start pouring out of her cheeks.
She's probably worried about the fact that I saw her half naked.
"Oh, I already forgot about that. Don't worry too much about it. Still, I kind of liked that bold side of you."
"You didn't forget at all!"
She screamed as she started beating against my chest.
Well, it took a bit of effort, but eventually I managed to calm her down and sent her back to her room.
She might look like that, but she's still a kid, so I shouldn't tease her too about such matters.
Thinking to catch a good long nap this time, I crawled into my bed and pulled the blanket up to my shoulders.
Part 3
"Just what's wrong with the citizens of this city!?"
I woke up to the sound of Sir Vanir's angry declaration.
"What's got you so riled up this early in the morning, Sir?"
"It's already noon, lustful delinquent. The Axis Cult is truly beyond help. Despite telling their priests about the habits of that layabout goddess, instead of losing faith, they simply went 'that sounds like Aqua-sama alright!' One must conclude that they are all shot in the head!"
"There are a lot of points I want to pick apart, but have you met that goddess before, Sir?"
"We meet extremely frequently! She often visits the store to kill time without any invitation on my part. But enough about that. Moi cannot rest easy without dealing a blow to the irritating residents of this city!"
It's really rare for Sir Vanir to get this worked up.
… No, that's not strictly true. He gets worked up in much the same way whenever the beautiful shopkeeper purchases some useless goods and rakes in the bills.
And is Sir Vanir mixing up the self-proclaimed goddess and the actual goddess of the Axis Cult?
The one who comes to the store to play around is Kazuma's party priest.
"The length of this stay is until the day after tomorrow, yes? Perhaps I should secure her assistance and turn this city upside down! Moi shall turn this city into a wonderful place overflowing with negative emotions! Fuhahahaha!"
Sir seemed to be getting really excited as he muttered to himself, so I quietly left the room and descended to the first floor.
Apart from Chris, all the other members of my party were gathered downstairs by the table, and every single one of them seemed exhausted.
"Dammit, here I thought I finally got popular…"
"I'm not taking another step out of this inn. This is a city of demons…"
Keith's and Taylor's pockets were stuffed to the brim with Axis Cult recruitment forms. I really don't need to ask what happened.
"They've gotten way worse than the last time I came here… though the methods they're using seem familiar somehow…"
The comparatively energetic Yunyun appears to be deep in thought about something.
She's the only one of us who's been in this city before, so she should've built up some immunity, but somehow, she seems to be the one most vulnerable to the Axis Cult's antics out of all of us.
"I want to go back to the store… The Axis Cult is scary… I'll be heading back to the room…"
A pale faced Loli Succubus hugged herself tightly as she ascended the stairs.
Seems like she's suffered the worst damage out of all of us. Come to think of it, I've heard that ever since the hot springs became holy water, even the steam would cause damage to low ranking devils like succubi upon contact.
A high ranking devil like Sir Vanir seems to be unaffected, though.
"Dust, do you think we should cut our stay short and head back earlier?"
Lynn seems quite exhausted too.
In a certain sense, it's great that everyone's too exhausted to mention the mixed bathing incident, but judging from how things are going, it might really be best to cut this trip short.
I'm a little concerned for how Loli Succubus is holding up too.
"Yeah, alright. This isn't really a place that you should linger-"
"Hold on a minute!"
The person who interrupted me was a fairly cheerful Chris, her depressed demeanour from the previous day nowhere to be found.
After rushing over to our table, she slammed her hand against it with a loud bang.
"There's something I'd like your help on! Don't you think that it'd be bad if this city remains as it is!?"
"Eh? Chris-san?"
Yunyun appeared surprised by Chris's appearance. It seems like they knew each other from before.
The others were also taken aback by Chris's enthusiasm, their gazes squarely focused on her.
I have a bad feeling about this, but I can at least hear her out.
"I just can't take when Eris Cultists are being looked down upon like this. I would like everyone to help me think of a method to raise the standing of the Eris Church in this city. It's definitely not because I'm angry over the pads!"
She probably thought of this after talking with those two knights yesterday. She wants to do something for those devoted worshippers of Eris. Well, it's not like I can't understand where she's coming from, but I really don't want to get involved with the Axis Cult.
"Say, Dust, she's the thief that occasionally hangs out around Kazuma, right?"
As Chris continued with her passionate speech, the rest of us huddled into a small corner and started discussing in hushed tones.
"Yeah, her name is Chris. Apparently, she's an Eris worshipper. After suffering at the hands of the city's residents yesterday, she ended up like this."
"I do sympathise with her, but I think it'd be best not to get involved with the Axis Cult… raise your hands if you agree with me."
At Lynn's words, everyone except Chris, who was off in her own world, raised their hands.
"That said, they caused a lot of trouble for us, so I do kind of want to get back at them. At least a little."
"I get where you're coming from."
Keith mused, and Taylor agreed with him.
"Chris-san is part of our group, so I really want to help her, but…"
Yunyun doesn't seem to hold much enthusiasm for the prospect, huh.
Lynn seems to be of a similar mind.
There's no particular benefit for us if we were to help out. In this situation, we should just nod along to whatever she says.
I'm sure she'll calm down after voicing her complaints.
"Recently, there've been a lot of books with erotic pictures circulating around in Axel, and from what I've heard, that is also the work of the Axis Cult…"
Wait, she's talking about the books I found in the dungeon, right?
My friends are of course aware of that, and their gaze naturally fell upon me.
"When the Eris Church confronted the Axis Cult about this, they replied with, 'This isn't our work, but these books are most wonderful indeed! Actually, why don't you tell us exactly what about this book is obscene?' and other such sexually harassing words. The original plan was to cooperate with the police to search their church under the charge of distributing obscene materials, but…"
If they seriously investigate that, it'd be very quickly made clear that I was the one who sold those books.
Isn't this really bad?
"Ah, right, I'll return the money we got from selling that treasure to you, Dust."
"I'll return it too."
"In that case, I shall return it too."
"Hey, don't try to distance yourselves from this, you assholes!"
"Eh? Eh? What are you talking about?"
Yunyun appeared completely lost, but that's only to be expected, so I ignored her.
Still, at this rate, I'm going to end up in trouble with the cops again.
I don't really mind that, but it'd really hurt if the proceeds I got from selling that treasure were to be confiscated too.
I'll have to cooperate with Chris here and have the Eris Church owe me a favour.
"Right, I got it, we'll lend you a hand. Let's have the Axis Cult in this town cry uncle. You guys want to see that too, right?"
My friends seem to understand what I'm going for, and silently nodded in agreement.
Yunyun seemed completely confused by this turn of events, but, lacking the courage to refuse, she simply went with the flow and nodded.
This trip was originally meant to be a relaxing trip to help Keith and Taylor recover, but it ended up piling more stress upon all of us.
After causing so much trouble for us, it wouldn't be right to just leave without repaying it in kind.
"Really!? Thank you!"
Looking at Chris's sparkling eyes and wide smile, an interesting idea floated to my mind.
I thought she seemed familiar when I first saw her, and now I finally understand what that's all about.
"I thought of a really great idea. If things go well, the Eris church might even get more worshippers out of it!"
Part 4
I didn't have enough materials on hand to put my idea into practice, so right now I'm on a trip out to procure the items.
I'm pretty sure it was in this direction…
"By the way, why are you here?"
"I'd be worried if it was just you alone…"
For some reason, Yunyun was next to me.
She was fidgeting about while staring resolutely at the ground.
Could it be that she was still concerned about what happened in the mixed baths?
"You saw my naked body too, so aren't we even? I don't mind stripping right here if you're unsatisfied."
"Please, enough about that! Don't make me remember it!"
Hmm, guess that wasn't it.
I was pretty sure she was still hung up about that incident.
In that case, why is she following me?
"I'm just going out to borrow the necessary materials."
"Is that so. Umm, err, the weather is great, isn't it?"
Hearing that, I gazed towards the sky. True enough, it's a cloudless day. That said, I have no idea where this is heading.
Looking back down again, I noticed that Yunyun has shifted even closer to me.
On closer inspection, she really is slowly closing the distance between us.
"Say, what exactly are you doing?"
"Fwueh! I-I'm not doing anything!"
Yunyun's hands started waving around at a truly tremendous speed as she said that.
She seemed to be embarrassed, but in that case, why did she approach me in the first place?
Could she still be under the effects of that magic item… no, that's unlikely. It's a type of spell, so with Yunyun's strong magic powers, she should be more resistant to its effects and thus have a much faster recovery rate.
That means she must be doing this of her own free will.
Yeah, I don't get it at all.
"Anyway, where are we headed?"
"Ah, I need to visit the theatre for a bit."
"A theatre? It'd be nice if there are any interesting plays on the schedule. I wonder if there are any romance-"
"Er, I'm not going there to catch a show, you know?"
I'm getting a bad feeling from her strange responses, but I guess it doesn't really matter right now. As long as it doesn't get in the way, I'll leave it be.
"Ah, there's a really trendy looking cafe over here!"
"You want me to treat you? What, do you really think that there's that much money in my wallet?"
"Dust-san really is a good-for-nothing…"
Even if you say that, it's not like money will just materialize in my pocket.
Ignoring the cafe, we continued on before coming to a stop at a roadside store.
"Dust-san! Dust-san! They have some really cute stuffed animals on sale!"
I frowned upon looking at the price tag of the stuffed animal that Yunyun was holding.
It's several times the value I usually pay for my drinks.
"Geh, is this really worth that much? Hey, can't you cut the price a little? Say, by about fifty percent?"
"Sorry, but this is the lowest I can go."
"N-No, wait, this is embarrassing, please stop! I'm so, so sorry!"
Just as I started haggling with the storekeeper, Yunyun forced her way between us and dragged me off.
"Mou! You shouldn't cause trouble for the shopkeeper like that!"
"I only haggled with him for a lower price because you seemed really taken with that."
We ran into several other shops selling souvenirs and accessories and the like, but I ignored Yunyun who was making a fuss, and eventually arrived at the theatre.
"I didn't manage to do anything that felt like…"
"What are you talking about?"
It's really creepy to mutter while standing next to someone.
She seems to be really worked up today for some reason.
"Nevermind. It doesn't matter anymore…"
Yunyun heaved a sigh and started heading back by herself.
That was really odd of her. Oh well, I should hurry up and do what I came here for.
Part 5
"It's a little late, but I wonder if we'll suffer divine punishment for doing this…"
"You were right on board with this plan until just now. Don't worry, it'll be fine. Eris-sama looks like a kind woman, so I'm sure she'll laugh it off."
Lynn was looking at Chris with a worried expression.
Chris herself had a stiff smile on her face as she sat upon the chair.
Between the make-up and the regal clothing she has, Chris really is the splitting image of Goddess Eris. More so than even I expected.
I was only with her for a short while, so I can't remember all of the specifics, but this certainly felt right.
I always thought she looked familiar, but once you hide that scar with makeup and put her in the right clothing, she really does look like the genuine article.
"It feels like I just went through something similar recently…"
She had a troubled expression as she scratched her cheek, but she seemed to swallow her doubts after being told it's for the sake of the Eris Church.
"Dust, where did you get these clothes from? They look just like the clothes Goddess Eris wears in her portraits, but I'm surprised you managed to find such clothes here."
"There's a popular play on show at the theatre where Goddess Eris keeps messing up and has to be bailed out by her senpai Goddess Aqua. I borrowed the clothes from that set."
"Eh, isn't that reversed…"
Chris had an expression like she just bit into something sour.
It seems that wasn't something a worshipper of Eris could accept.
"It's not like we are appropriating her likeness to cheat people or anything. People dressed up as her during the Eris Thanksgiving festival, so this is just more of the same. If you dress up as Eris and walk around performing good deeds, I'm sure the reputation of the Eris Church would go up a bit."
"Still, isn't it suicide to walk around in the Axis Cult's home base in this outfit?"
No one responded to Keith's comment.
This is a city that gives horrible treatment just for being an Eris worshipper. It's hard to imagine them taking this lying down.
"Hey, say something! Am I being sent off to die!?"
"They… probably won't kill you… probably"
"Look at me while you're saying that! Why is everyone looking away!?"
I thought of this plan after remembering the rumours I've heard about the recent Eris Thanksgiving festival.
I wasn't there myself, but apparently, the actual goddess appeared in the flesh at the Miss Eris beauty contest.
Rumours of that incident has spread all over the world, so it would seem more plausible if she were to appear in this town too. That was the idea, at least.
"Even if they are Axis Cultists, I'm sure they wouldn't do anything reckless to a possible goddess."
"Yeah, even if it's the Axis Cult."
"Yeah…"
My companions nodded along, almost as if they are trying to convince themselves.
"But, if they realized that it was a fake…"
In response to Yunyun's ponderings, everyone, once again, fell silent.
It'd be risky even if the actual goddess Eris were to set foot in this city, so if they found out she was a fake, then, well…
"You'll probably be ganged up on and chased out of the city."
"It'd be fine if it stopped there, but there are residents of this city who treat picking on Eris worshipers as their life's purpose, so…"
Yunyun has the most experience with this town, so her words bear a certain amount of weight.
I've only been here for two days, but from what I've experienced, what she says isn't all that far-fetched.
"Hey, this is all just putting me more on edge! Maybe we should call it off? I do want to raise the standing of the Eris Church, but this method is definitely a mistake!"
"Should we think about another method?"
Everyone seemed relieved when I suggested that.
Well, that's good and all, but I can't really think of any other method…
"A devil has appeared! It seems like he's insulting Aqua-sama by the fountain square!"
"A devil?"
Just when I thought it was getting noisy at the inn downstairs, Chris, still dressed up as Eris, ran out the door.
"W-Wait, hold on, don't go outside wearing that!"
"Chris-san!? No, don't, it's dangerous!"
The rest of us chased after her in a panic.
I've heard that the Eris Church hates devils as much as the Axis Cult, but I didn't expect her to forget about us and rush out while wearing that outfit.
There are a few people who definitely wanted to cause trouble for Chris after seeing her in that outfit, but with her bloodlusted glare, she completely failed to notice them.
In front of the fountain was a wooden platform that wasn't there yesterday, and standing on top of it were Sir Vanir and Loli Succubus.
Sir Vanir was standing proudly as he stared down at the crowd of citizens that had formed around the stage. In contrast, Loli Succubus was trembling as she clung onto Sir Vanir's sleeve.
What the hell are those two doing? It'll become a really big deal if people found out that there are devils in this city.
"That looks like the maskthat assistant-kun has? It feels weird somehow, but I can't quite tell in this form."
Chris's mask of rage was replaced by an expression of bewilderment upon laying eyes on Sir.
I couldn't follow what she said at all, but it seems like she's calmed down a little.
Sir Vanir seems calm, but the crowd surrounding him seemed just about ready to leap onto the stage.
"A blasphemous priest claiming to be Aqua-sama appeared here not long ago, and now a devilish man is here spreading insults about Aqua-sama!"
"Fuhahaha! Oh, foolish people who believe in that foolish goddess, you've done well to answer my calls. Ah, I used foolish twice there, how shameful of me."
Sir Vanir let out another hearty laugh as he placed a hand on his forehead.
Doesn't look like he has lost his touch at riling people up.
"Moi is merely spreading the truth to the foolish and incompetent masses. Instead of being angry, should you not be thankful instead?"
"What the hell are you saying!? That mask does seem a little cool, but don't think you'll get away after making fun of Aqua-sama!"
"How dare you make fun of Aqua-sama, you damned devil!"
"Does thou really worship that embodiment of sloth and incompetence as a goddess!? She does nothing but cause trouble for the Eris Church, get drunk and cause trouble for the guild staff in her revelry, and is only acknowledged for her party tricks!"
Sir Vanir seems to be working himself up into quite a fervor, but isn't that referring to the non-goddess Aqua?
Just when I thought that the crowd was strangely serious for once, they nodded along to his words and let out a cry.
"Isn't that the best!?"
What the hell are they saying…
"It's just as written in the teachings of the Axis Cult. 'Regardless of whether you restrain yourself and work seriously or live without worries, one never knows what will come tomorrow. Thus, instead of worrying about the uncertain future, one should focus on living a comfortable present!'"
"Yes, that's exactly it. Do you not know about the doctrines of the Axis Cult? 'If you are worried about something, simply enjoy yourself in the present. Don't restrain yourself, simply follow your true desires!' I review this every night!"
"Seriously, this is why you're a greenhorn. 'There is no need to restrain yourself, drink when you feel like drinking, and eat when you feel like eating, for there's no guarantee that you'll be able to drink and eat tomorrow.' Make sure you write this down!"
The people who seemed to be the priests of the Axis Cult shot back to Sir Vanir.
Still, what's with these doctrines? They really strike a cord in my heart.
Maybe the Axis Cult isn't too bad.
"That's just like how you live your life, isn't it? That's why people mistake you for a member of the Axis Cult."
"… Am I really that bad?"
Everyone silently nodded.
I thought back to the behavior of the Axis Cultists I encountered in this city. Am I really on the same level?
As I was thinking it through, Sir Vanir and the crowd continued their bickering.
"Masked man, you speak like you've met with Aqua-sama personally, but there've been no rumours that Aqua-sama has descended to this world. Though, there was an imposter who took her name not too long ago."
The crowd nodded in agreement with that woman's screams.
… Hmm? Why are the priests all averting their gazes?
"Hmph, you merely do not know of it. The Goddess Aqua is… No, revealing that carries the risk of making them more conceited. Very well, foolish cult that idolizes and imitates a fool, listen well. Have you heard of the rumour of the Goddess Eris having descended in the town of Axel?"
The crowd became agitated upon hearing Sir's words.
"Yeah, I've heard of it. She appeared at the thanksgiving festival or something like that."
"The Eris Church was boasting so much about it."
Seems like that story has spread to this town as well.
The plan that I thought of might've actually worked out.
"What a load of crock… Thought if it were Aqua-sama, it might be believable."
"It's Aqua-sama, after all."
"Aqua-sama seems like the sort of person who would do this."
And they believed it so easily!
Though, if we're talking about the goddess who'd spread such doctrines, that does sound quite plausible.
"Before coming here, moi truly believed that the Axis Cult is a collection of irrevocable fools, but moi has reflected on that. From the outside, they seem like a collection of optimistic slackers, but what is hiding beneath is a burning spirit that seeks true freedom. After witnessing that, moi truly is touched!"
Loli Succubus's jaw dropped in shock upon hearing Sir Vanir's declaration.
I never expected that a devil like him would sympathize with the Axis Cult. Did breathing in the water vapours from the hot springs do something to him?
… No, he's planning something. I haven't known him for that long, but I at least know that much.
"Ah, so you finally understand the beauty of the Axis Cult. That makes us comrades. Let those comments be water under the bridge."
A member of the crowd said that, and smiles started appearing amongst them.
It's almost as if the murderous atmosphere from before was but a mere illusion.
The Axis Culistst are surprisingly naive, aren't they?
"Moi originally planned on striking it rich by selling these photobooks of the descended goddess Aqua that moi took in secret at a high price, but now that you gentlemen are my comrades, perhaps I should sell them for heavy discount!"
Saying that, he opened the lid of the wooden box that lay on the platform together with Loli Succubus.
Ah, so that's it. After starting a frenzy with that declaration, he intends to sell them for an exorbitant price while claiming it to be a discount. Sir is a quite a schemer.
"Photos of Aqua-sama!? I'll buy them! I'll definitely buy them!"
Loli Succubus was thrown into a panic by the sudden murderous air that descended upon the gathered worshippers.
Nevermind selling them, at this rate, it's more likely for a riot to happen.
I unhesitantly dived onto the platform and put myself between Loli Succubus and the crowd.
"Hey, come on, calm down! You won't be able to buy them unless you line up properly. Hey, Sir, you're understaffed, right? I'll lend you a hand."
"How enterprising of you. Very well, moi shall offer you ten percent of the profits."
"It's a deal!"
Seems like we understood each other with just a glance.
Both of us could barely hide our smiles.
"You guys help out too! You're a friend of Sir, right, Yunyun?"
"Eh, ah, yes!"
We arranged the photobooks on the long table and started selling them to the rush of Axis Cultists.
Chris, still dressed as Goddess Eris, seemed to finally realize how out of place she is and made to return to the inn.
The photobooks were handed over one after another.
"Dammit, I can't look inside like this! Does anyone have a pair of scissors or a needle or something?"
The photobooks were tightly bound with ribbons to prevent them from browsing through their contents, so the crowd were frantically searching for a way cut through them.
An adventurer looking fellow used his shortsword to cut through the ribbon, and immediately started flipping through the pages.
"What the hell is this!?"
Not long afterwards, he let out a scream that echoed throughout the plaza.
Attracted by the commotion, the crowd gathered around him and stiffened upon witnessing it's contents.
"This page too! And this one! What is the meaning of this!?"
The photobook was flung to the ground in front of me, its pages flapping in the breeze.
What's inside wasn't photos of Goddess Aqua, but-
"Too bad, it's a photo collection of moi! Fuhahahaha!"
Photos of Sir, half naked in various poses.
Murderous gazes shot at us from every direction, but Sir seemed to pay it no heed and let out a grandiose laugh.
"What wonderful dark emotions! The dark emotions of those who worship her are quite something indeed! Fuhahaha! Yes, it's most wonderful!"
"Vanir-sama! Vanir-sama! Now's not the time to laugh!"
A trembling Loli Succubus screamed at Sir Vanir through her tear streaked face.
Well, that's only natural. She's surrounded by a crowd of murderous Axis Cultists, after all.
"Capture them! Toss them into the hot springs for three days and three nights while they can hear our scriptures!"
"Don't let them get away!"
Sir Vanir tossed Loli Succubus away from him moments before disappearing beneath a pile of bodies as the murderous crowd swarmed over him.
"Vanir-sama!"
"I got him! Hmm? Doesn't he feel strangely light?"
"Gorgeous molting."
I could barely make out the voices of Sir Vanir and Loli Succubus amidst the noise of the crowd.
From the sounds of it, Sir Vanir managed to avoid capture, but I couldn't make out any details through the mass of bodies.
"S-Say, aren't we in danger too?"
A frightened Lynn pulled on my sleeve.
"Now that you mention it…"
It's only natural to assume that we are in cahoots with Sir Vanir after helping him sell those books. That means, their next target would be…
The members of the crowd who became frustrated with Vanir's repeated escapes turned their gaze over to us.
That is not a pleasant gaze. I don't even want to think about what would happen if they caught us.
"Capture his companions too!"
"Retreat! Run for it! Your life will be over if you get caught!"
"Eeeh!"
I quickly broke for it, followed by my companions. Behind them, the Axis Cultists surged after us like a massive human wave.
Things will really be over if they catch you. Seeing that sight made me certain of it.
As we were desperately running down the street, we caught up to Chris who was slowly plodding along ahead of us.
"Goddess Eris is over there!"
I decided to make use of that.
"So the Dark Goddess Eris was behind all of this! I'll never forgive you!"
Looks like the hostility that was directed at us was successfully transfered to "Goddess Eris", aka Chris.
Chris took one look at the oncoming rush of people and immediately took off running.
"What!? What is going on!?"
"You don't want to know what they'll do to you! Just run for it!"
"I don't get it at all! Why are the Axis Cultists chasing me!?"
Chris asked me a few questions as she ran alongside me, but I couldn't spare the energy to respond.
The stamina and speed of the cultists aren't normal. Even the children and old men are keeping pace. It must be because of the support magic that the Priests provided.
"At this rate, it's only a matter of time before we get caught! Let's split up!"
"Right! Let's do it!"
After hearing everyone's voices of agreement, we split up along a three way intersection, and I followed the path that Yunyun was taking.
I've heard that Yunyun was familiar with the top priest of the Axis Cult.
If I'm together with her, I might be able to get off lightly if we get caught… probably.
Plus, I might be able to use the fact that she's a Crimson Demon to scare them and get away that way.
Perhaps because of her loner talent, I was the only one who choose the same path that Yunyun did.
I'm a little concerned about the guys who went down the other path, but Chris is a devout Eris worshipper. If they seek help from those knights, they'll probably offer them shelter too.
… Still, Keith and Taylor are still recovering, aren't they? Well, I should at least try and lure most of them into following me.
"I'll make good use of the money you gave us, so rest easy!"
"You bastard! I'll fucking kill you!"
Judging from the response, it seems like I was able to draw a large portion of them my way.
"If worse comes to worse, I'll be relying on you, Yunyun!"
"S-Sure… is what you expected me to say, but too bad! It is moi!"
Sir Vanir shed the appearance of Yunyun as he was running.
My legs almost stopped in response, but I somehow managed to keep going.
Hearing the sound of footsteps intensifying behind me, I turned around.
After sighting the presence of Sir, it seems like every single one of the Axis Cultists turned around to chase after me.
"The Blasphemer is over there! Give me back my money, you bastard!"
The angry screams of the crowd mixed with the sound of their rapid footsteps.
… If I'm caught now, I might actually die.
"You're kidding me, right! What are you doing, Sir!?"
"Moi merely wishes to experience as much delicious dark emotions as possible. By doing this, I'll be able to experience both the dark emotions of the fastest runner and the feelings of those foolish worshipers for as long as possible! It's a most devilish idea indeed!"
If I wasn't involved, I might have been impressed by this.
Still, now isn't the time to complain.
If I lose my breath here and get caught by them, I get the feeling that my life might really end.
"It's like all I've been doing recently is running!"
Part 6
"Haa….A person can really do some really amazing deeds when their life is on the line."
After having lost them by running across half the town, I stuck my head out from the alley I was hiding in to check if any of them are close by.
Looks like I managed to shake them off completely.
"Right, now I just need to meet up with Keith and the others and bid farewell to this city."
"You're going back?"
"HYAAAaaa… oh, it's Yunyun. Don't scare me like that, I think I just lost ten years of my life."
Feeling something tap on my back, I whirled around to see Yunyun's face staring back at me.
"It's the real deal this time, right… How did it go on your end? Did you guys make it out okay?"
"Yeah, we got away really easily after you lured all of them away. Um, thank you very much."
I was the one who got her into this mess, so it feels kind of awkward to have her thanking me like that.
In order to wipe out this feeling of guilt a little…
"Hey Yunyun, here."
I handed over the stuffed toy that I bought on the way back from the theatre.
With it's mouth hanging agape like a fool, the expression on the plushie mirrored the one Yunyun gave me after receiving it.
"Eh? This is…"
"That Explosion girl's been getting on well with Kazuma lately, and you were acting strangely because you were competing with her, right? You probably wanted to boast about having gone on a date to make her jealous, but the only male friend you know is me, am I right?"
"Uck, y-you knew?"
It's pretty obvious, after all.
"You might be able to stand up to her better if you have a present you got from a man."
I remembered the conversation that Yunyun had with the Explosion girl in the guild before we left, so I bought the plushie with the last of my money.
Because of monetary issues, it's a little smaller than the one she wanted, but it looks similar at least.
"I'll forget about the mixed bathing incident, then! You have a pretty good side after all!"
"Yeah, yeah, thanks."
Looking at Yunyun happily hug the plushie, I patted my empty wallet.
Yeah, guess it was worth it after all.
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