It all started with a sandwich.
More specifically, a chicken sandwich that the MCU's most unpredictable new presence—our cartoonish, logic-defying, joybombing Main Character—decided should *never* be eaten. Why? Because the chicken in question was no ordinary poultry. This was *Alfredo*, a scrappy white hen with one eye, an iron will, and a mysterious glow that radiated from her feathers like starlight through fog.
Some say Alfredo once pecked the Eye of Agamotto. Others say she's a multiversal anomaly in feathered form. All the MC knew was: **Alfredo was family**.
And today, someone had taken her.
---
**Location: Avengers Compound, Kitchen Area – 8:03 AM**
"What do you mean 'she's gone'?" the MC shouted, eyes wide with cartoonish horror. A spatula still dangled from one hand, a half-fried egg slumped sadly on the floor.
Natasha Romanoff, coffee in hand, blinked at him from across the counter. "Didn't you just get here yesterday?"
"Yes, but Alfredo's been here longer than my first paycheck from reality," the MC snapped, diving under the counter, flinging open drawers, rattling cabinets like a man possessed. "She's my best friend! My spiritual support bird! My—my—emotional wingman!"
Steve Rogers strolled in, towel slung over his shoulder. "What's going on?"
"Alfredo's missing!" the MC wailed, clinging to Steve's arm like a melodramatic sitcom character. "Cap, you gotta help me. This is a chicken emergency. Cluck-9 situation."
Steve gave him a Look. "You mean Code Red?"
"No. Cluck-9. It's worse."
Meanwhile, Tony Stark, half-awake and already regretting life, entered with sunglasses and a thermos labeled *Liquid Brilliance*. "If this is about that bird again—"
"*That bird* is a national treasure!" the MC snapped, jabbing a finger in Tony's direction. "I'll have you know Alfredo has done more for emotional morale in this compound than your last three HR memos combined."
"Fair point," Tony muttered.
---
**Cue: Operation Chicken Run**
With a mission board made entirely out of leftover pizza boxes and string, the MC organized a full-blown investigation. The suspects?
- **Rocket Raccoon**, last seen eyeballing Alfredo with a hunger that wasn't just admiration.
- **Thor**, who had mistaken her for a gift from Midgard's poultry gods.
- **Loki**, who was overheard mumbling about "feathers of destiny" while sipping tea upside-down in the library.
- And **Clint Barton**, who swore he didn't even *see* Alfredo… but was found with suspiciously crispy breadcrumbs in his beard.
"Each of them had motive," the MC muttered, stalking through the halls like a noir detective, trench coat flapping dramatically even though it was ninety degrees and sunny. "But only one had the gall to actually chicken-nap her."
Enter: **MC's Chicken Rescue Squad**.
- **Darcy Lewis**, the queen of sass and spontaneous nicknames.
- **Kamala Khan**, who was 80% excited, 20% unsure if they were serious.
- **Scott Lang**, who joined because he heard the words "stealth mission" and "free snacks."
Together, they plotted an infiltration into Stark's high-tech chicken surveillance vault (don't ask), crossed dimensions via a malfunctioning slingshot portal gun, and interrogated a talking duck with a top hat and a criminal record.
---
**Meanwhile: Alfredo's Perspective**
Trapped in a golden cage that hovered inside a magical bubble, Alfredo bided her time.
Every so often, she'd scratch her claws meaningfully across the enchanted floor, forming strange symbols only the cosmos could understand. A mysterious humming filled the air, as if reality *itself* was waiting for her next move.
The culprit? Loki.
"I must understand the chicken," he whispered, peering at her like an obsessed scholar. "She is... the key. To what? I don't know yet. But I *will*."
Alfredo stared back with infinite judgment.
---
**Back at the Compound**
The MC burst through a wormhole mid-spin, his hair on fire (cartoonishly, of course), screaming, "I found her! She's in Loki's weird floating thought bubble of loneliness!"
Tony sighed. "Of course she is."
Thor actually looked offended. "You think I would *eat* her? I made her a tiara!"
"Yeah, and then tried to *crown* her Queen of New Asgard," Natasha reminded him.
"She rejected me," Thor whispered solemnly. "So noble..."
With help from Kamala's embiggened fist and Scott shrinking into the bubble's enchantments, they launched a rescue so chaotic even Wong looked up from his book and muttered, "Not again."
A spark, a blast, a poof of feathers—and Alfredo landed in MC's arms like a dramatic reunion scene from an animated epic.
---
**Later That Day**
In the Compound courtyard, a party was held. There was cake. There was dancing. Alfredo pecked at the stereo and accidentally dropped the sickest remix of the year.
"See?" the MC said, patting her tiny head. "Told you she was a legend."
Loki, sipping punch with a haunted expression, simply muttered, "She pecked through a protective barrier forged in the heart of dying stars. Who *is* she?"
Tony raised his glass. "To Alfredo."
Everyone echoed.
"To Alfredo!"
The camera would zoom out, if this were a movie. Up past the stars, where unseen watchers blinked and took notes.
They didn't yet understand the chicken.
But they would.
-
End of Chapter