North America / New York (Manhattan): January 19th, 1993.
My name is selena knowles and I am 69 years old and the baddest bitch alive, my mother is the legendary opera singer mia knowels that is 88 years old and very gorgeous dah'ling if you ask me and her mother, my grandmother is ms thang, adesina knowels that is giving all of us and her wisdom and vitality to the world at a blessed 117 years old, a fallen princess of a african royal family and the matriarch and big mama of the knowels family and then there's crystalline knowles, my tragic, sweet, sweet 25 year old baby girl who after I told her to call us once in awhile thought that she was to bougie and bad to even check in on her motherfucking, goddamn family, hah….sorry, anyways there is this suspicious family that's moved in across the street and they've been acting rather very strange, take a look.
(Selena's POV)
"What the hell is this donkey looking fucker doing around our lawn, it looks likes he's scoping out the area around the house, are you even listening big mama." Asked selena while looking at big mama that had glasses at the tip of her nose and oxygen tubes in them with a word puzzle book in her lap.
"Lil girl this is my fucking house, what you mean ours, sit yo funky ass down, you don't pay shit but complain all day long, look at crystalline, she got her own company and the whole world knows her, your broke ass don't do shit but get dick and cook all damn day." Said adesina with a scoff, completely sizing up selena.
Selena rolled her eyes and said while looking back out the window, watching the suspicious asian man scout the area "I don't work because I need to take care of you and watch over you."
"Bitch. There it is again, what do you think my nurse is for, your excuses are as old as the fucking mole on my back, do you know how old you are, your 69, 69 bitch, do you know what I was doing at your age, I was fighting to protect my land your standing on against racist white men who were trying to take it, I didn't have no damn man protect me when I needed comfort or warmth, but guess what, I survived, I protected and I lived, there yah go." Said adesina with a snort while adjusting her glasses and looking back down at the word puzzle book in her lap.
"LOOK. He's…is that whitney, why the hell is she here, the family reunion isn't until february 5th." Said selena with a confused look on her face, adesina's comment going out the other ear.
Adesina looked back up from her word puzzle book and asked with confusion "Who's here."
"Whitney." Said selena while hurriedly going to the front door and unlocking and opening it, signaling at whitney to hurry and come get in the house.
Whitney looked at the asian on the side of the house with confusion and was finna go ask what he was doing but seen selena's hand motion and jogged up to the porch and asked "What is he doing."
"I don't know but get in this house." Said selena with a shrug, pulling whitney inside forcefully while shutting and locking all five of the locks on it.
"Hey big mama." Said whitney while going into the living and giving big mama a hug.
"What the hell why don't you have any meat or booty on you lil gurl, your so skinny, are you eating properly, why are you so damn thin, go get you some food, I made some mashed potatoes, corn bread, baked beans, green beans, macaroni and cheese, salad, pork chops, burgers, and hotdogs, I also made some pumpkin pie to to with it." Said adesina with a look of complete shock and horror on her face as she felt whitney's arm.
Whitney had a shocked look and said with a smile "I'll make me a plate even though I'm not gonna gain any weight, I'm just naturally slim."
"Oh. You poor thang. Don't let that pedohile music industry define who you are baby, you be you, you hear me ms houston, your beautiful, young and you have a nice body despite your booty having no meat on it, anyway go fetch yourself a plate." Said adesina with a kind smile while shoeing whitney away to go eat.
"What is this gorllla looking fucker doing, wait is he getting a device out of a suitcase" Said selena with a shocked look on her face as she peeked out the window.
*FWACK*
"Get yo ass out of the way, I'm trying to watch my damn show." Said adesina as loudly as she could, her puzzle book smacking into selena big butt.
Whitney came back into the living room with a plate full of everything adesina made and sat down on the sofa while putting the plate in her lap and said with a smile "Thank you for the food, anyway I'm here because I tried to get in touch with crystalline but she seems to not want to have anything to do with me despite me being her cousin."
"Mhm." Said adesina uninterestedly with a wave of her hand as she watched oprah on the old tv .
*VRRRR*
"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT NOISE, IM TRYING TO WATCH OPRAH." Said adesina loudly with a bulging vein on her forehead.
"There's a asian man drilling a device into the porch, did you order a monitor or something big mama" Asked selena confusedly as she peeked out the window.
"WHAT." Said big mama while whipping a shotgun out from out of nowhere and trying to get up from the chair as fast as she could.
Whitney had a startled look on her face at the sudden appearance of the shotgun and asked "What happened."
"I'll do it." Said selena with a smirk while grabbing the shotgun from adesinas hand and went out to the door and unlocked all the locks and whipped it open and aimed it at the asian man.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU MOTHAFUCKA." Asked selena loudly with a gangster look on her face, the right side of her lip tugging upwards.
The asian man jumped up with his hands up and said stutteringly "I was just trying to greet my new neighbors but offering you guys gifts first."
"Gifts, gifts…nigga this is a private property, you don't give gifts by violating someone's property rights, speak facts before you wanna lie in front of me bitch." Said selena with a cold glare in her eyes as she readied the shotgun.
*CHA* *CHINK*
The asian man trembled and said stutteringly "O…ok…me go now."
"Yes you go now, I know you speak English so stop trying to pretend you don't motherfucker." Said selena while rolling her eyes at the retarded asian man.
The asian man started running across the street.
*BEEEEEEEEP*
*BOOOM*
*SPLOOT*
Selena had wide eyes at the asian man that just got hit by a car and said while Immediately hiding the shotgun behind her back "It wasn't me."
"The hell it was, go see what he drilled into my damn porch, such a unfortunate soul, he was a stalker bitch, don't feel bad for someone you pointed a gun at, we got nothing to do with him, we only have the dirt and he's nothing but a stain on this earth." Said adesina while snatching her shotgun from selena and slowly made her way back towards the living with her wheelchair.
"Shes right, although I don't feel bad, he still might've had a life of his own" Though selena, only to shrug and made her way down the porch and looked at where she asian man was at and saw a little black device with a red dot and immediately grabbed a shovel from the ground and start smashing it.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
"FUCKING DONKEY ASS MOTHAFUCKA." Said selena with rage as she smashed the device. The man that hit the asian man in the road watching her with shock as he took a picture of her bouncing ass, completely forgetting he just hit somebody with his car.
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
*CRACK*
*BANG* *BANG* *BANG*
*CHANK*
The device broke and selena wiped the sweat on her forehead and threw the shovel back down while adjusting her dress and heading back up the porch and taking a deep breath and saying "Phew…what a day."
(The man's POV)
"Damn, what a woman." Said the man while looking down at his small nokia phone that had selena grandma ass on it in black string panties.
…
THE END…