---Victor POV, Next Day---
Answering my uncle's summons, I arrived early the next morning with Ionica in tow. Warmly greeting us as we passed through the main gate, the guards seemed far more chipper than the last time we met.
"Did something good happen recently, Guardsman Santos?", I asked one of the men.
"Y… Yes, sir! The tech priests installed an instant coffee dispenser at our station two days ago. It has made our shifts significantly more comfortable.", Santos answered, gesturing to the overcomplicated device affixed to the wall. 'He… remembered my name!!'
Instead of a simple coffee machine, like the sample I provided them with, the gargantuan device looked like a steampunk Wall-E. Unsure where the coffee grounds were inserted and the coffee came out, I just smiled and nodded my head.
"I see…", I responded, doing my utmost not to laugh. "Well, I am pleased to hear it has made your work more comfortable. If you need any other equipment, feel free to send the request up the chain of command."
"Could we possibly get a water fountain installed here too?", Guardsman Thomas inquired, excitedly rubbing his hands together.
Watching their faces drain of color, his comrades turned to him with horrified expressions. Elbowing him in the ribs, the soldier next to him immediately got on his case.
"What in the hell are you doing, Thomas!?", Guardsman Adams said through gritted teeth. "That is Primarch Stark you are talking to! He is the Emperor of Mankind's grandson, not a damn grunt like us."
Quickly realizing his grave error, Guardsman Thomas broke into a cold sweat as he bowed his head.
"Forgive me, Primarch Stark! I… I am fresh out of boot camp, and I had no idea that you were- ", Thomas began.
"Calm yourself, Guardsman Thomas. I am not going to get upset over a small slip of the tongue.", I chuckled. "I will have one of my technicians install a water fountain for you within the week."
"Thank you, my lord! I will make sure this does not happen again.", Guardsman Santos swore.
Letting the soldiers get back to their duties, Ionica and I headed down the hall toward the lift. As the doors began to close behind us, we could hear the men criticizing the newbie.
"That was hilarious!", Ionica wheezed, releasing her pent-up laughter. "The old me would have reamed his ass for treating you so crudely. Now, though… I nearly pissed my pants trying to contain my laughter."
"I admit, the Mechanicus' coffee machine nearly had me laughing too. Only they can overcomplicate such a simple machine.", I remarked with a smirk.
"Oh yes, I know exactly what you mean.", Ionica agreed, calming herself down. "The time I have spent in your company has opened my eyes to the truth. Our "advanced technology" is ass backward compared to the rest of the universe. Sure, we have a few technological marvels, but most things are way more complicated than necessary…"
As she listed a few examples, we went back and forth critiquing them on our way to the Golden Throne.
---Twenty Minutes Later---
Stepping off the lift, we headed down the long, empty hallway toward our destination. As the mammoth doors came into view, Valdor stepped forward to greet us. Noticing he was alone, Ionica realized something big was going down today.
"Good morning, Commander Valdor!", Ionica stated, snapping to attention as her training kicked in.
"Actually, it is Imperial Advisor Valdor now.", Valdor corrected her, with an uncomfortable look. "Also, if you would, please stop acting so formal with me in private. It feels weird to be treated so coldly by the fiancée of the Second Coming of the Emperor of Mankind."
Purposefully using one of the monikers the masses had given me, Valdor cracked a playful smirk as he extended his hand. Accepting his gesture, I used just enough force to dent his power gauntlet, much to his dismay.
"I take it that something big is going down this morning. There is no other reason I can think of for my grandfather to have you guarding the door.", I said, feigning ignorance. 'Can't blame my grandfather for being extra cautious, given who is standing inside.'
"Yeah, you could say that…", Valdor confirmed. "Before we head inside, I must ask you to swear to never disclose what you are about to see and hear. Only when the Emperor permits it are you allowed to divulge anything."
"We understand. Neither of us will tell a soul without his permission.", I agreed, glancing to Ionica. "Right, dear?"
"Of course!", Ionica responded with a wary look. 'This must be a grave situation…'
Satisfied with our answers, Valdor pushed the doors open for us. Announcing our arrival to those inside, the pungent smell of death and decay hit us like a truck. Nearly vomiting on the spot, Ionica staggered inside to locate the source of the smell. Horrified to discover the room teeming with Chaos Space Marines, Ionica instinctively reached for her weapon, prepared for battle.
"Ionica, wait a moment!", I shouted, placing a hand on her Energy Sword's hilt. "They are no longer our enemies. Angron, Magnus, and Mortarion have forsaken Chaos and returned to the Imperium of Man with what remains of their legions."
Opening her mouth to chew me out for not warning her in advance, Ionica's stomach began to gurgle. Bolting back out the door, she presumably headed for the nearest bathroom or trash can to hurl.
"Uh… Is everything okay?", Valdor questioned with a confused expression. "Ionica should be used to dealing with the Death Guard's putrid stench. Her service record showed she has fought them on numerous occasions in the past."
"If I had known the smell was this bad, I would have brought her along later.", I answered, regretting my decision. "As for why she is acting weird…"
Telepathically telling Valdor about her pregnancy, the Imperial Advisor's jaw nearly fell to the floor.
"Victor… Please tell me this is a cruel joke!", Valdor pleaded.
"I anticipated an overdramatic reaction, but outright denial is a bit much.", I responded. "Whether you like it or not, Ionica and I are expecting a child."
Struggling to process this information, Valdor stumbled backward until he collided with the wall. Using it to steady himself, it took a few moments for him to come back to reality.
"S… Sorry, Victor.", Valdor said, collecting himself. "Firstly, let me just say, congratulations to the both of you. You both are going to make wonderful parents. Secondly… Do you realize the can of worms you have opened? While Ionica is a Canoness Superior, she is not of noble blood. The nobility will lose their shit when they hear about this."
"Let them rave like madmen; I care not what they think about my family life.", I replied. "If any dare to target my family, their entire household will disappear. By now, they should be aware I could care less about their prestige or rank. The Imperial people are the ones I answer to, and I highly doubt that any of them would complain about this."
"Victor, if we could run the Imperium without them, I would be all for it. Most are arrogant pricks and a pain in the ass to deal with.", Valdor conceded. "As annoying as they are, we need them to keep this house of cards stable. There are simply too many planets for a single individual to rule over in an effective and efficient manner."
While that was simply untrue, I accepted the systems I was envisioning would not work in the Imperium of Man. The nation's distrust of artificial intelligence severely limited its governmental operations. Every process requires a human's touch, allowing corruption, human error, and a host of other factors to decrease effectiveness and efficiency. There was plenty of room for improvement within the current system, but it was beyond my purview as a Primarch.
"With my grandfather and uncles content to remain single/widowers… I suppose this will fall to me…", I complained with a sigh. "As my grandfather's advisor, I am tasking you with finding me one or two partners from noble houses. They must be xeno-tolerant; it is non-negotiable. Also, if they are politically gifted or tech savvy, that would be a plus."
"Huh!? I am not a damn matchmaker!", Valdor retorted.
"I am sorry, Valdor. The Second Coming of the Emperor is preoccupied with more pressing matters of grave importance. In case you have forgotten, closing the Eye of Terror and crushing the Necrons is our highest priority.", I snickered, giving him a mischievous smile. "Good luck!"
Flipping me the bird in response, Valdor accepted the task of finding potential marriage candidates for me. Thanking him, the two of us walked over to where my relatives were awaiting us.
"Is she going to be alright?", Leman questioned in a nasally voice.
Thanks to his heightened sense of smell, Leman was seriously suffering right now. To help alleviate some of the pain, he was using an industrial clothespin to clamp his nose shut. While it made him look ridiculous, I applauded his creativity.
"Yeah, I will explain everything later.", I said, using magic to cleanse the air around us. "This should make things a bit more bearable for you."
Removing the clothespin, Leman sniffed the air a few times before releasing a relieved sigh.
"I can fucking breathe again!", Leman laughed, rushing forward to hug me. "You are the best nephew a guy could ask for."
"No problem, glad to be of assistance.", I replied, while the others silently snickered. "It is wonderful to finally meet you in person, Angron, Magnus, and Mortarion. Not to be rude, but you look like absolute dog shit."
"It was quite the harrowing journey here. Zephrim's hordes chased nearly the whole way here. If not for your automated defense network, we would have bit the dust just short of reaching Terra.", Magnus remarked, with a grateful smile. "Thank you, nephew."
Already aware of why I was summoned here, I got to work removing the Warp's taint from them. With a wave of my hand, a series of magic spells were cast upon my fallen uncles and their men. As the multicolored magic circles weaved around them, Magnus and his sons silently stared in awe of what they were witnessing.
"Alright, this process will be a bit different than it was for Corvax.", I stated, using the Time Stone to retrieve their Eidos data from just before their transformations. "I will reconstruct your original corporeal bodies and rebind your souls to them. You should not experience any pain, but mild disorientation may occur for a short period of time."
(AN: If you know what Eidos is, you watch quality anime. It is from one of my favorite series.)
"Do your worst! We are ready to have physical bodies again.", Ahriman laughed excitedly.
Receiving a thumbs up from my uncles, I began activating spells like a skilled conductor coordinating an orchestra. Minutely adjusting things to account for differences in each man, their bodies quickly began forming from the ether. Once their physical bodies were ready, ethereal chains shot forth from them and latched onto their tainted souls. Ripping them out of their warped figures, the sacred chains burned away any trace of corruption from them.
"Time to bring this home.", I spoke, gathering a tremendous amount of magical energy. "ZII GRON WAH SLEN!!"
(AN: Soul Bind To Flesh.)
As their souls were driven into their bodies, the chains tightened around them. Anchored in place, they would remain active until their body, mind, and soul were in sync again.
"Alright, knuckleheads, it is done.", I stated with a satisfied nod. "When you are ready, try to stand up slowly. Do not be alarmed if it takes you several tries."
"My… My body… It is back!!", Ahriman celebrated, pinching himself to ensure he was not dreaming. "Father, we are- "
"Haha, I know Ahriman.", Magnus laughed, shakily standing up. "Something is wrong with your face, though. I do not recall you being able to smile before."
Laughing at their father's joke, Magnus' sons slowly rose to their feet to celebrate their return to the physical world. Heartedly joining them in celebrating, Mortarion and his sons were relieved to be free of boils and rot. Watching them prance around like idiots, everyone quickly noticed Angron, and the World Eaters were hardly moving.
"Angron, is something wrong?", Fulgrim (Clone) questioned, hesitantly stepping toward him. "If you are in pain, let us know so we can- "
"No… No, it is not that…", Angron answered in a trembling voice. "Nephew… What did you do…?"
"The Butcher's Nails are no more. You and your sons are freed from their unfathomable burden.", I told him, causing everyone to fall silent.
Shakily rising to his feet, Angron turned and charged at me. Sensing no ill intent or malice from him, I waited to see what he would do. As he drew near, he flung his arms wide open and wrapped them around me.
"Angron, what in the world are you…", I began, feeling his hulking body begin to shake.
"I… I cannot begin to express how thankful I am to you for removing them.", Angron spoke in a childlike voice. "For over ten thousand years they have plagued my existence. Throughout that time, I have only known pain and rage. Because of you… Now I know what peace and relief truly feel like…"
Able to properly reflect on his poor life up to this point, he poured out all the emotional pain the nails had kept buried in his psyche. Listening to him speak, we began to realize just how terrible Angron's life had been before the Emperor found him again. Letting him get it all out of his system, Guilliman and Leman cried with him while the rest of us stood in solemn silence.