"Harry, I'm glad I caught you," Percy said eagerly, springing up as Harry descended the dformitory staircase first thing the next morning.
"Given you appeared to be waiting for me, that's not really all that surprising," Harry said yawning. "Still, at least you didn't try waking me up this time."
"Yes, well…I wanted to ask you what the hell you thought you were doing?"
"Going down to breakfast?" Harry suggested.
"Not right now," Percy said impatiently. "Last night."
"Weren't you there?" Harry asked innocently.
"No, I was…busy…" Percy said, looking a little embarrassed.
"With Penelope?" Harry smirked.
"That is none of your concern, Harry," Percy said stiffly, his ears reddening.
"I'm just teasing, Percy; I'm glad you have a girlfriend," Harry said sincerely.
"Thank you," Percy gave Harry a small smile. "I'm going to be honest with you: You are a huge disruptive influence and I'm fairly certain that I should at the very least dislike you. For some reason, I don't. Mum seems determined to make you a part of our family, as do Ron and the twins. You yourself don't seem all that opposed to the idea. As such, it always unnerves me when you do things like this and either put yourself in danger from vigilantes who want to 'stop you' because they think you're the Heir of Slytherin now or just outright hate you."
"I appreciate that Percy," Harry told him. "I'm not trying to worry anyone; I just think I know what I'm doing."
"You think?" Percy repeated faintly. "You THINK? Now I'm even more worried..."
----
"You're a Parselmouth!" Hermione exclaimed as Ron and Neville shoved Harry into an empty classroom. Harry really didn't' want to have this conversation, now or ever, but he was thankful his friends at least had the sense to make sure he wasn't overheard.
"So I announced last night," Harry said neutrally.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Ron demanded, upset. He seemed to be even more worked up than he was last time, although it had been awhile so Harry wasn't positive. Perhaps it was because last time even though Harry's unexpected ability was the same, this time Harry had known about it, what it was called, and exactly what being a Parselmouth implied so it was more like he had been deliberately keeping this from them? That was all true, but Harry didn't think Ron would appreciate if Harry told him that he didn't feel like dealing with the hassle of telling him and having to worry about Ron keeping something this big under wraps. Ron would never purposely expose his secret, but he was also about as subtle as Voldemort, if less violent.
"Everyone always freaks out when they hear about it," Harry explained. "And really, how often does the subject of talking to snakes come up in daily conversation?"
"You'd think it would be something you might want to mention when there has been a basilisk going around petrifying people for the last few weeks," Neville sounded a little annoyed.
"I know, I know," Harry agreed wearily. "But it really isn't that big of a deal. I haven't been anywhere near the basilisk and aside from occasionally hearing it moaning about how it wants to kill people as it rushes past me, I haven't seen any indication of her presence."
"Her?" Ron repeated. As Harry opened his mouth to explain, he shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
"Don't you think that the constant petrifactions might count as a sign of the basilisk's presence?" Neville asked rhetorically.
"This is a huge deal!" Hermione insisted heatedly. "Being a Parselmouth is what Salazar Slytherin was most famous for-"
"Well, that and his being a Pureblood fanatic," Neville muttered to Ron, who grinned.
"Now the whole school is going to think you're his ancestor!" Ron cried.
Harry stared at him. "Why would they go and think a silly thing like that for?"
"Because it won't occur to them that it's possible to be a Parselmouth and not related to him as Parselmouths are so rare?" Neville put forth tentatively.
"I bet they're not nearly as rare as everyone makes them out to be and anyone who doesn't want to get saddled with the label of 'Dark Wizard in Training' – which, true or not, would definitely be a bit of a setback – would make sure to keep that ability hidden," Harry disagreed. "And that wasn't what I meant anyway."
"What did you mean?" Neville asked, confused.
"I meant that unless they're all a bunch of morons-" Harry began.
"Which you have a tendency to think anyway," Hermione cut him off.
"True, but unless they are even more hopeless than I had originally thought, they would not think that I am his ancestor, but rather his descendent," Harry finished. "Unless they subscribe to some crazy time-travelling theory where I am my own great-ancestor or something."
"Kind of like the conspiracy theories in the Quibbler that you and Luna believe?" Hermione asked innocently.
"Of course not, Hermione," Harry scoffed. "Everyone knows you can't be your own ancestor."
"Really?" Hermione asked, wondering how that was any more farfetched than some of the other things she'd heard Harry, Luna, and occasionally Ron (curse him for winning that lifetime subscription) debating. "How so?"
"It's all about genes, Hermione," Harry began patiently. "I don't expect you to know much about them, but you know what DNA is, right?"
Hermione nodded even as Ron and Neville started to look lost.
"Well, if you have a child that child will have half of your genes and by the same principle if you have any grandchildren they will have roughly a quarter of your genes," Harry continued. "The likelihood of you contributing exactly the right half of your genes in order to match with the genes your partner is contributing is so low that the odds aren't even worth calculating. That makes it virtually impossible for you to be your own child or grandchild, although the probability does go up slightly after each generation. In any event, it would be a case of incest and your family would be stuck in constant cycle if you went back in time and lived the rest of your life in the past. In my case, I also have the benefit of knowing that Salazar Slytherin is an established person so even if no such person were to exist, I wouldn't choose that as a pseudonym. In fact, seeing as how it was over a thousand years ago, I probably wouldn't bother with a pseudonym at all."
"I'm…not quite sure I follow all of that," Hermione admitted. The girl was brilliant, but she was also only twelve.
"You don't have to," Harry assured her. "Just know that I'm right."
"That's a dangerous precedent to set," Hermione told him seriously.
"Then don't have this be precedent; just this once," Harry said.
"That's how all these things start," Hermione countered.
"If you're not his descendent," Neville put extra emphasis on the disputed word so as not to have to endure any more of Harry's attempts to clarify, "then how can you speak Parseltongue? Or do you not know?"
"I inherited it from Voldemort and he's a descendent of Slytherin," Harry said casually.
"YOU'RE DESCENDED FROM YOU-KNOW-WHO?" Ron shouted, shocked and horrified.
"Of course not," Harry said, looking sick. "Can you imagine the likes of him reproducing? That's the stuff of nightmares, right there."
"But you just said-" Neville protested.
"What, so now I can't inherit something from someone I'm not related to?" Harry demanded indignantly.
"Generally no," Hermione told him.
"Except if you're talking about Gringotts, but even then most people are related to each other anyway. As Harry continues to point out," Ron said, a little bitterly.
"Only when Draco's around," Harry said defensively. "And besides, if you're going to be all nit-picky, then I'm not technically a Parselmouth."
"You can talk to snakes. That makes you a Parselmouth," Neville said bluntly.
"Oh anyone can talk to snakes," Harry said dismissively. "It's getting them to answer back that's the trick. But anyway, my scar – which I got from that Killing Curse Voldemort shot at me – is a Parselmouth. If I were to ever lose it, I would be completely unable to interact with British-Serpents."
"How could you possibly know that?" Hermione demanded. "Better questions: How could you lose a scar?"
"Easy. Kill Voldemort," Harry said shortly.
"You're not making any sense. Again," Ron added as an afterthought.
"Whatever," Harry said, exiting the classroom and being almost immediately set upon by a small crowd of over-eager Slytherins, all of them holding a snake. "You guys go on without me; I might be awhile."
----
"Oi! Harry!" Fred called out. "We wanted-"
"To let you know-" George continued.
"How impressed we were-"
"With your little stunt at the-"
"Dueling Club Meeting-"
"And we hope-"
"That you continue to-"
"Always be around-"
"To inspire ickle Ronniekins-"
"To follow in your-"
"And thus our footsteps-"
"As a first-class prankster-"
"Master Manipulator-"
"And brilliant businessman."
Harry stared at the Weasley Twins who smiled back at him innocently. He wasn't fooled for a second. "One of these days you've got to teach me that spell."
"What spell?" they chorused simultaneously.
"Oh come on, I'll do anything!" Harry offered.
"Sorry Harry-"
"We'd love to help you-"
"We really would-"
"But we have no idea-"
"What you are talking-"
"About or what-"
"You're smoking but-"
"We're starting to think-"
"We'd like to try some."
"I'll give you a start-up loan on your joke shop," Harry promised.
Fred and George exchanged glances.
"Do that and we'll talk."
----
"Justin!" Ernie hissed urgently. "What are you doing here?"
Justin, who had been working on a Herbology project with Harry, looked apologetically at him before going over to where Ernie was trying and failing miserably to look inconspicuous behind a bookshelf. Harry himself waved merrily to Susan Bones and Hannah Abbot, who looked vaguely uncomfortable as they waved back and then returned to pretending not to listen to what Ernie and Justin were discussing.
"I'm studying," Justin said simply.
"With Harry Potter!" Ernie was appalled.
"Really? I hadn't noticed. I probably should have guessed when he kept chatting about his scar and translated three separate conversations for a Slytherin and two Ravenclaws," Justin said sarcastically.
"You know what I mean," Ernie said impatiently. "I told you to hide in the Common Room."
"So you did," Justin acknowledged.
"Then why aren't you?" Ernie demanded.
"Because I had a project to do," Justin replied.
"You could have done it in the Common Room," Ernie said sternly.
"It was a partner project and Harry's not in Hufflepuff," Justin pointed out. "Besides, letting him into the Common Room kind of defeats the purpose of hiding up there, doesn't it?"
"Why are you working with Potter, anyway?" Ernie had taken to calling Harry by his surname once he decided that Harry was secretly evil after all. Well, not secretly per se, but rather blatantly evil. In fact, Harry was delighted that everyone who thought he was the Heir was referring to him as Potter and everyone else called him Harry – at his insistence as he had some bad memories of people who hated him calling him 'Potter' before making his life hell – because that way it was very easy to differentiate the mindless sheep who believed him from the mindless sheep who were ruled by fear. He supposed he really shouldn't think of the roughly three-fourths of the school who stood by him as mindless sheep, but he knew from past experience that they were only responding to his explanations and assistance in reviving the basilisk victims.
"It's not like we got to choose our partners," Justin said, rolling his eyes. "You know that; you're paired up with Lavender Brown."
"You should have explained the situation to Professor Sprout-" Ernie began.
"What situation?" Justin interrupted.
"The situation of Potter being the Heir of Slytherin and attacking people for the hell of it and curing them for the publicity and to throw people off his track," Ernie replied matter-of-factly.
"Even if you were right, he has to work with someone and unless you think that a half-blood like him with a Muggle-born best friend is a Pureblood Fanatic, everyone is at risk," Justin said reasonably.
"I'd still rather my best friend didn't insist on endangering himself trying to be all noble and Gryffindor," Ernie muttered sourly.
"That was uncalled for," Justin said, shuddering at the comparison.
"I know," Ernie said, looking sheepish. "I'm sorry."
"Harry's always been so nice though," Hannah said uncertainly, giving up all pretense of ignoring the two boys. "And he made You-Know-Who disappear. He can't be all bad, can he?"
"No one knows how he survived that attack by You-Know-Who," Ernie said, lowering his voice dramatically. "You-Know-Who cast a Killing Curse at him. No one survives a Killing Curse, let alone a baby. Only a really powerful Dark Wizard could have possibly lived to tell the tale."
"I'm pretty sure Harry made some big announcement sometime last year about surviving because him mother sacrificed herself for him," Susan pointed out.
Had he done that? Harry really didn't remember. Still, if he had then that could only work in his favor in swaying more sheep.
"Oh come on, he was a baby, what does he know about it?" Ernie scoffed.
"I completely agree, "Susan said pointedly. "He was only a baby. How could he POSSIBLY be so evil that You-Know-Who himself had to come straight over and kill him? How would he even know that Harry was a devil-child at that age?"
"Well…" Ernie trailed off, realizing that she had a valid point. "I still don't buy the whole Mother-Sacrificing theory. I mean, is Lily Potter really the only person to have ever given their lives for someone ever? She can't be. How in the world is Potter the only one to survive?"
"Maybe he's the Chosen One," Justin snarked.
Harry nearly choked. That wasn't too far off, actually, although hopefully that could be kept quiet for a few more years.
"But-" Ernie tried again.
"Just give it up Ernie," Susan advised.
"Fine. Don't come crying to me when Potter petrifies you all," Ernie sniffed and began to storm away.
"If anything, he'd come after you for smearing his name," Susan called after him.
Ernie's shoulders stiffened and he started walking faster.
"If Harry did that, wouldn't everyone be suspicious of him again?" Hannah asked.
Justin shrugged. "Probably. On the other hand, there's no need to tell Ernie that. And maybe now I can get back to my homework…"
----
"Potter," McGonagall's voice rang out through the suddenly silent library several hours later.
"Yes?" Harry asked politely. "Has someone else been petrified?"
"Indeed. Ernie MacMillan has been found right outside the Hufflepuff Common Room," McGonagall told him gravely.
"I see, I…" Harry trailed off as something occurred to him.
"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall prompted.
"I HAVE AN ALIBI!" Harry cheered, ignoring the Death Glare Madam Pince sent his way.
"Pardon?" McGonagall asked, not understanding.
"Ever since that whole stunt I pulled at the Dueling Club, some people – Ernie being one of the most vocal – have been accusing me of attacking everyone. I never seem to have an alibi, but this time I was in here studying the whole time and have, like, thirty witnesses," Harry continued excitedly.
"Be that as it may," McGonagall said primly. "A student was still petrified."
"Oh, he'll be fine," Harry said dismissively as he followed the Transfiguration Professor up to the Hospital Wing.
"That may be true but I would like to remind you that there is still a murderous creature on the loose and it would not behoove you to be so glib," McGonagall said sternly.
"I know, I know…" Harry said. He glanced down at Ernie. "Hey! I sold him that mirror! And he still blames me! That little…"
"Harry," Dumbledore interrupted him.
"Hello Professor," Harry said warmly. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm always concerned when there is a basilisk attacking my students," Dumbledore explained.
"That sounds like a good policy," Harry nodded.
"You have been almost extraordinarily helpful during this crisis and I suspect that you are somehow involved in the iron curtain of secrecy protecting Hogwarts's problems from the wizarding world at large," Dumbledore said pleasantly.
"I do what I can," Harry said, his voice non-committal.
"Let me begin by saying that I know that you have nothing to do with these attacks. However, I am quite curious: how do you know so much about the attacks?" Dumbledore's eyes bore into him and Harry was suddenly quite grateful Hermione had bullied him into mastering Occlumency when they were nineteen. Well, she and all of his other friends were twenty, but he had a late birthday.
"I've come back from the future," Harry deadpanned.
"Indeed," Dumbledore said, skeptical but intrigued.
"Oh yes," Harry nodded. "Of course, when I'm from Ginny Weasley had the Diary and was attacking only Muggleborns, Sirius Black was completely innocent of the crimes he was sent to Azkaban for – without a trial – and escaped next year, Draco Malfoy is the Master of the Elder Wand, and Snape helps euthanize you."
"Indeed," Dumbledore said again, this time blatant disbelief evident in his voice. "How did you come back, if you don't mind me asking?"
"Drapery accident," Harry said shortly. "It was very traumatic."
Dumbledore sighed heavily. "I wish you would be honest with me, Harry."
"Who says I'm not being honest?" Harry asked rhetorically. "But you can be assured that anything I'm not telling you is either for a very good reason, because I don't think it's relevant, or just because I don't want to deal with the consequences."
"That's rather discouraging, Harry," Dumbledore told him frankly.
"I don't know what else to tell you," Harry said shrugging.
"How about the truth?" Dumbledore suggested.
"The truth," Harry sighed, mimicking Dumbledore's response to Harry's plea for the truth in his first first year. "It is a beautiful and terrible thing, and should therefore be treated with great caution."
"That is most unhelpful and I suspect deliberately cryptic," Dumbledore told him, sounding a little disappointed.
"Well, if it is it's probably because I got that from a reticent and secretive to a fault old man," Harry said, grinning.
"If you should decide in the future to confide in me, my office is always open," Dumbledore told him sincerely.
"Thanks Professor," Harry said, touched. "I appreciate that."