The first words spoken upon my arrival into this world were filled with hatred and disgust.
"You useless bitch! I've done so much for you, you damn whore." Those words lingered in the air of the delivery room, marking the beginning of my tumultuous upbringing.
My mother had been unfaithful to my father since before I was even born, a betrayal that would haunt our family for years to come. Despite the turmoil, my father chose to stay, though he claimed my mother had broken him emotionally.
He remained with us until I turned seven, when a DNA test revealed I wasn't biologically his child. The news shattered him and led him down a path of alcoholism as he grappled with his demons. But through it all, he never stopped loving me and treating me like his own son. Even as a young child, I could feel the tension between my parents.
My father's disdain for my mother was tangible; he couldn't bear to look at her. And as she struggled with her own addiction to men, our home became even more fractured than before.
As I stirred awake on the eve of my seventh birthday, a feeling of dread settled over me like a dark cloud. My mother and I searched the small house for any sign of my father, fearing that he had finally left us. But what we found in the dim light of our living room was far worse than abandonment.
The metallic scent of blood hung heavy in the air, mingling with the thick stench of alcohol and cigarettes. In the corner, a pool of crimson pooled around my father's lifeless body, his pale skin already turning cold. My mother's anguished cries echoed through the empty space, piercing the stillness of the night.
In that moment, I hoped that this tragedy would bring us closer together, but it only seemed to widen the chasm between us. My mother's resentment towards me was palpable and she couldn't even bring herself to look at me, instead choosing to drown her sorrows in drugs and alcohol. As she spiraled further into addiction, I became nothing more than a reminder of her pain.
She blamed me for my father's death, her accusing glares branding me as the cause of all her suffering. If only she could see past her own grief and recognize the impact her behavior had on her young son. But as always, I was left alone with my thoughts and my guilt.
"Hato? Are you with us?" A gentle voice interrupted my thoughts and I snapped back to reality, my cheeks burning with shame. "Sorry, teach," I mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
The elderly man gave me a gentle smile before turning his attention back to the blackboard, pausing for a moment as he glanced at me. But our brief exchange was cut short by the loud ringing bell that signaled lunchtime.
"Class dismissed, you can eat here or in the cafeteria. Enjoy your break," Sensei announced before bidding us farewell and leaving the room.
My name is Hato Suzuki, an eighteen-year-old living alone with my mother in Osaka, Japan. I consider myself a decent student, but I don't have any friends to speak of. Instead, I find solace in watching anime and other solitary activities, preferring to be a bit of a recluse. Avoiding my mother is something I do at all costs, a result of my fear and cowardice.
If home life was hell, then school was like being trapped in purgatory.
A cold hand grasped my shoulder tightly, sending shivers down my spine as I stood motionless.
"Get up, make a scene, and we'll beat you up like last week," a familiar voice sneered in my ear, its venom creeping into my veins.
I complied silently, following behind them as they led me through the school hallways. Eventually, we arrived at the rooftop where my bullies were waiting for me.
"So... How's it been going, Hato?" a female voice asked, accompanied by the flicker of a cigarette.
In front of me sat the bullies who tormented me, lined up against the wall, their faces blurred by a haze of smoke. I locked eyes with the girl in the middle, feeling a pang of bitterness at my luck, or rather, lack thereof, in terms of both appearance and family. With a resigned sigh, I took in the five delinquents before me, paying little attention to the one lurking behind them.
Itsuki Panzo, Yua Roji, and Jiro Hashimi - these were the three faces etched into my memory since childhood, their roles as my tormentors cemented early on. We used to be "friends," if you could even call it that. They would come over to my house sometimes and my mother would put on her best act. Back then, my father was still alive and well-off, giving us a big house where we would gather together and enjoy each other's company.
But everything changed when Dad passed away. Their visits became more sporadic and our once close ties began to fray. Four years ago, when Yua started going through puberty, she suddenly found me repulsive. Her attitude towards me grew cold and distant. She had always been the leader of our group, calling the shots while others followed her lead.
Yua and Itsuki used to be inseparable like siblings. Itsuki's fierce loyalty towards her is something I can't help but admire. But even their dynamic has changed now that they've become the most popular couple in school.
Jiro was always an intimidating presence, towering above everyone else even as a child. His size and athleticism made him excel in sports, combat, and academics alike. His reputation preceded him - he was considered a powerhouse among his peers, almost like he was blessed by some higher power.
As for Kenji and Ren, they were relatively new members of our group, having only joined last year. They mostly kept to themselves, blending into the background. Even when I interacted with them, their presence went unnoticed. From what I could gather, they were just lackeys who lacked the same level of respect as the core members. Despite being in the same class for a year, I couldn't even remember their last names.
Yua's piercing gaze shifted to me, her dark hair swaying gracefully in the wind. She took a drag of her cigarette before asking me with a serious tone: "I asked, how have you been?"
"I-I'm good, ma'am," I stuttered, lowering my head in deference.
Her chuckle echoed softly as she turned to Itsuki. In one fluid motion, she stood up and straightened her skirt before walking towards me.
They embraced each other quickly, their kiss growing more passionate by the second. Even in the midst of their fervor, their eyes remained locked on mine, almost as if they were challenging me.
It was no secret that I had once harbored feelings for Yua. And to be fair, I think she may have felt the same way for a time. After all, she was my first kiss...even if it was an accident and we were much younger.
Itsuki pulled Yua to the side and pinned her against the doorframe with ease. He lifted her smooth, bare legs up to his side while they continued their intense kiss. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they broke apart.
"Hato, come here," Yua commanded in a voice that brooked no disobedience. Without hesitation, I obeyed. While Itsuki continued to hold her up against the wall, Yua gestured towards the ground and ordered me to sit.
As if under a spell, I found myself following her command without resistance. From my new vantage point, I couldn't help but notice the frilly white underwear hugging Yua's rounded bottom.
My mind screamed at me to look away from this intimate sight before me. But my body seemed to have a mind of its own, keeping my eyes fixed on the scene unfolding before me. A wave of discomfort washed over me and I couldn't help but glance down at myself, shocked to find that I was aroused by the situation. My body was betraying me in the most unexpected way.
I'm sure I let out an audible gasp as both Yua and Itsuki turned to face me. Itsuki flashed a smile before setting Yua down on her feet. She crawled towards me until she was only half a meter away, practically in my face.
I couldn't find any words, overwhelmed by confusion and anguish. Why were they subjecting me to this humiliation? What had I done to deserve such torment? It felt like the world was conspiring against me, suffocating me under its weight.
The voice echoed through my mind, piercingly clear and chilling in its cruelty. It seemed to originate from within, a haunting internal dialogue that no one else seemed to hear or acknowledge. Lost in my thoughts, I failed to notice the transformation overtaking Yua's face as pleasure twisted her features.
Her once flawless porcelain complexion now flushed a deep crimson, a silent testament to the intimate act unfolding before my horrified eyes. As Itsuki glanced up at me, a smug smirk played across his lips. Our eyes met in a twisted display of dominance and submission.
"You know," he taunted, yanking Yua's hair roughly to force her gaze towards me. "If you hadn't been such a coward all those years ago, this could've been you." His words dripped with disdain mixed with primal desire. "She told me she asked you out and you said no. And then... we took our first step together." He chuckled darkly, relishing in my discomfort and humiliation. "This could've been your life."
Anger and shame boiled within me as Itsuki continued to degrade me with his words. "You're just a pathetic loser who can't make up his mind," he spat, his contempt palpable in every syllable. "Can't believe we used to associate with someone like you."
As Yua lay crumpled on the ground, her breaths ragged and labored, I was left grappling with the cruel reality of my existence as a mere spectator to my own degradation at the hands of two people I had once considered friends.
Itsuki sauntered back to where his discarded pants and shirt lay, retrieving another item—a simple broomstick that now held a sinister purpose in his twisted game of power and control over us both.
"Ever since you skipped the test, my grade has suffered. And now all the batting cages are closed for cleaning, leaving me with no way to relieve stress," he said, the words dripping with accusation. His chilling grin made me shiver in fear as his words hung heavily in the air.