ELIJAH
I drove as fast as I could. The flight to New York was boarding in 45 minutes and I wasn't sure I'd make it, but I kept my foot on the gas. I was a little over halfway there and I wasn't stopping.
Horns blared. People cursed out their windows at how recklessly I was weaving through the streets. I didn't care. This was my last chance, and I was willing to burn every bridge to get to her.
In the middle of it all, my mind drifted back to last night. After I made love to her, I remember her being the closest, the most vulnerable she'd ever been with me. Her face was buried in my chest, her warm breath fanning my skin as I held her tighter. My hands ran through her braids, caressing her bare back while she drew slow circles on my chest.
"Eli," she whispered, and I hummed in response, closing my eyes as I tilted my head back against the headboard.
"Do you ever wonder what your life would've been like without all this chaos?"
"I used to," I said honestly.
"You don't anymore? Why?"
"It doesn't do me any good. Why torture myself thinking about a life I could've had when I know I'll never live it? That would just hurt more."
"Have you ever felt like... just leaving everything behind? Not being a part of it?"
"Of course. When things were still fresh, I hated it. I hated myself for it. Vincent was power hungry. He wanted to be the top dog. He wanted everyone to fear him. He wanted all eyes on him. He didn't want to be forgotten, and he took it all out on me. He wanted me to be just like him, and even though I hate to admit it, sometimes when I look in the mirror, I see a bit of him. It haunts me. My first kill was when I was eight. Vincent wanted to 'ensure' I had what it took to take over his empire one day. Ever since that day, I haven't been the same person." I released a heavy sigh, feeling goosebumps rise on my skin. I swallowed hard.
"I know it's not an excuse for everything I've done, but this is all I've ever known. I grew up with hatred and anger as the only emotions that drove me. That's why things happened the way they did. I never intended to hurt you, even though I know I did. You mean so much to me that if I'd known who you were from the beginning, if it wasn't for the rivalry between our families, things would've been different with us. So different."
Red rose up and cupped my cheeks. Her eyes were filled with so much sadness it was enough to make anyone break. A tear slipped down her cheek, and I ran my thumb across it gently, wiping it away.
"You didn't deserve that. You were just a kid."
"Don't cry for me, my love. I'm not worth it. I did it to myself. I could've chosen a different path." But she shook her head, more tears falling, warmer and warmer under my thumb. The ache in my chest reminded me how much I hated seeing her cry.
"But you were just a kid. You had the right to live your childhood."
"Life isn't fair, my love. And I'm used to it."
I kissed her damp cheeks and slowly moved her braids to the right side of her nape, leaving the left side bare. My eyes fell on the tattoo — the letter 'R' — and I couldn't believe I was only seeing it now. I pressed a kiss to it.
"Does it stand for what I think it does?" I asked, running my fingertips over it.
"Yeah. I got it when I was sixteen. I had to beg my parents for it. They didn't know why it was so important to me. I think the only one who understood was my brother."
"I love it," I said.
Then she pulled me away from her nape until our eyes locked.
Moonlight hit her perfectly, and I could see every fleck in her brown eyes. Her lipstick was smudged, but all I wanted was to kiss her. To stare at her like this forever. Because it was perfect to me.
And God, she was beautiful.
"Promise me you'll be okay," she whispered.
"As long as I have you with me, I'll be okay," I said. And I kissed her.
Suddenly, all my worries, all my burdens, washed away.