Zay's POV
"And how is baby doing?" My hands rest on either side of Lesa's protruding stomach, pressing every here and there.
"Minus the fact that he always wants to kick my bladder after midnight, I think he's doing good." Lesa sighs, leaning back into the exam chair.
"Movement is good. His way of telling you hi and that he's almost ready to meet you. Unfortunately, he doesn't understand time yet nor does he realize it's your bladder he's kicking." She chuckles.
I pull back, walking to the ultrasound machine. "Are you ready to see him?" She nods, an eager smile on her face. I apply the gel and plug in the wand, moving it to her stomach. I turn it until baby shows properly on the monitor. She gasps. "He's so big!"
I chuckle. "Yup. And he's going to continue to grow until he's ready." I snap a shot of the current placement to print for Lesa. I clean off the gel, taking a seat in front of the girl I've known my entire life. Lesa is only a year younger than me but I've always seen her as a little sister. "Are you feeling ready?"
She shakes her head. "Not at all, nope!"
"It takes a village, Lesa. And you've got a damn good one here, if I do say so myself."
"I know. It's just, with everything going on, I feel kind of alone? Chris aside," she pauses, hand moving to her stomach as a sadness passes in her gaze, "Xavier and the guys are completely in their own world. Understandably so. And Celeste. . ."
"I know." My voice wavers and I look away. Celeste has been missing for almost a week now and we've got no leads. Every day I watch Xavier spiral further and further from who he really is. Every bit of joy has been torn from him, though I know he tries to put on the occasional smile for his sister.
"It's just. . Her and I were getting to be decently close. We were supposed to go to that cute little baby shop. The one in the human town? This weekend. And now. . ."
"I know," I repeat, clearing my throat that suddenly feels clogged. My hand finds Lesa's. "They'll find her."
"And if they don't?" Her green eyes are full of anxiety, more than that of a soon to be first time mother.
"Let's not think about that." She nods but still wipes a tear away. "I want to see you back here in no more than two weeks but if anything comes up, I'm just a link away." She smiles, pushing herself off the chair and readjusting her shirt that's fighting against her large stomach. I give her a hug, wishing her well and sending her on her way.
I really don't want to think about what will happen if they can't find Celeste. Xavier has been one of my closest friends for as long as I remember. I know him well. And in the time Celeste has been here, I've seen him fall more in love than I've ever seen him fall with anything or anyone. He can't be without her now.
And Jared. . . My big brother. . . Katherine isn't doing well. He doesn't want to admit it but every day she gets worse and worse. If anything happens to her, he'd be gone too. And if she doesn't get better, he would never take over as Alpha. And I can't imagine Jacob or Josh to take over either. The Paramount Pack could crumble from the death of love in its leadership. This pack has stood for longer than most large packs of our history, over five generations of Vedette's have maintained control. That's almost as old as the werewolf council themselves.
And I'm sure the council would love to get their hands on our pack. Our resources, our land. I roll my eyes at the thought.
My mind spins as I make my way back to the packhouse from the pack's medical facility. I don't have the set up in my personal office for pregnancies, as I don't typically handle them, but Lesa is family.
I stop at the training grounds on the way to the pack house. "Again!" Xavier's shout surprises me. He doesn't usually handle the training, typically leaving it up to Jacob. One of the warriors groans and Xavier immediately eyes him. "Fifteen laps around the perimeter. Now!" The warrior takes off towards the nearest border. "Again!"
"Alright, Xavier - they've had enough," Jacob tells him, standing by his side with his arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face. I dare to inch closer.
"I'll say when they've had enough," he practically growls. Jacob's eyes find mine. He nods. I nod back and return to the pack house.
Opening the door to my office, I'm greeted with the sight that can relieve me most in this moment. My beautiful mate sits in my office chair, going through a file of some sort. "This is about the girl, yes? Celestial?" I walk over to her, pressing my lips to her temple and sliding an arm around her shoulder.
"That from Xavier?" She hums. I briefly skim over the words 'attack by rogues, unusual in appearance and smell,' 'trick of distraction,' 'abducted.'
"The stars never mentioned anything about this. Poor girl," she murmurs, flipping to the next page.
"Poor Xavier," I mumble. "He's a wreck."
"That's understandable, darling. To be ripped away from one's beloved. . . I would never want to go through that." She stills and I know she's lost in her memories again. I close the file that's frozen in her hold, grabbing onto her hand. She blinks several times, turning to look at me. "Sorry, I just-"
"I know, my love." Her hand finds my cheek, spreading her fingers out towards my hairline.
"I hate to think-"
"Then don't."
She sighs. "At some point, we really should discuss it." I shake my head. The thing with magi is that they, like vampires, are gifted with a long life. Gifted. Or cursed, depending on who you ask. Werewolves, on the other hand, have a more natural lifespan.
"I don't want to discuss it." I turn from her, letting her hand fall from my face. I really don't.
"Darling, I want to-"
"No."
"Forever, Zay. We could have forever."
I roll my eyes. "Yes and then I'd have to watch my friends die around me."
"And I'm to watch you die?" There's a pained tinge in her voice. I turn back to her. She's blinking away tears.
"Once, Shia. One chance you have to split your life force, once. And you want-"
"The woman I am fated to?" She scoffs, wiping away a tear. "That's the point of it, darling. I didn't save-"
"I know," I grumble. Once -- a magi is able to split their life force with another. A gift of their kind, she was once told. Choose wisely, she was once told. I love you, she once told another. She also told him goodbye. When his time came, she did nothing to redeem him. "Maybe you should have." I don't want to be cursed with more years. With a potential of forever.
"The gods didn't tie him to me. They tied me to you." The chair creeks and I can feel her behind me. "To be bonded is to love and to love is to be bonded. The gods lay it out this way with intention." Her pale blue hand circles around me, laying gently on my arm.
"Your gods are not my goddess." And with that she pulls away.
This has always been a point of tension with us. She will live for years, centuries even, to come. And I do not wish to join her. Even when her species can split their life force with one they love. The love has to be true or else the binding won't hold and, even though our love is more than true, I do not wish for the bind. I do not wish for the extra years. I love Shia. With all my might, I love this powerful woman.
But I also love my family here. And no matter what, I could never save them from the fate of time.
So no. I do not wish to live longer, even with her by my side.
Perhaps this makes me cruel. To tell the one destined to me, bonded in terms of my species, that I do not wish to bond with her in the way of her species.
She sits back down, pulling the file to her. She flicks through the pages. "Shia. . ." She doesn't respond. "Please, love." Another flick of paper. "You must understand. On some level, you get it. I can't-"
"I know," she says, her shoulders deflated from her usual elegance.
A small soft knock comes to the door.
"I love you, Shia." She glances at me briefly and once again returns to the files.
Opening the door, Delian stands. "Aunt Zay," she says with a wobble in her lips. In the corner of my eye, I see Shia close the file. She's always had a great fascination with Delian.
"Hey, kiddo." I give her a soft smile and open the door enough to let her in. She hugs herself as she walks in. It's then that I notice her eyes are red and her cheeks are puffy. I kneel to pull her to me, rubbing a comforting hand up and down her back. "What's going on?" I stay on one knee as I await her answer. I have a feeling I already know what's to come.
"The-the Luna," she sniffles. Shia spins in the chair to face the two of us. I give her a look.
"What about her, Deili?"
"What do you see, child?" Shia's voice is soft but vastly curious. She's always curious when it comes to Delian, gifted as the small child is.
Her little lip wobbles. "She's hurting."
'Alpha Xavier,' I link. 'Delian had another vision.' Delian's always been gifted with an intuition beyond our sights, but as the years go on she seems to see more and more.
'Where are you?'
'My office.'
"Did you see anything else, Delian? We need to know where she is."
She shakes her head. "It's - it's dark. And cold."
Xavier steps through the door, his eyes immediately going to the small child in front of me. I give him a stern look before turning my focus back to Delian. "Do you know if it was a house, Deili? Could you see any windows or doors?"
"Bars," she whispers. A growl escapes Xavier and I shoot him another glare. No need for him to scare the poor girl anymore than she probably already is. Tears begin to fall down her cheeks and I gently wipe them away.
"Anything else?"
"Anything at all?" Xavier's voice is a low grumble. Delian shakes her head.
"Thank you, Deili. You did good coming to me, okay?" She nods but tears still fall down her face as her lip continues to wobble.
"I - I - I -"
"It's okay, child." Shia joins me in an attempt to comfort her, kneeling beside me. She takes Delian's small hands in her own pale blue ones. "Your goddess has gifted you. It's important to not be scared, yes?" Delian nods again. "Come, let's talk." Shia stands, keeping one of Delian's hands in her own, and guides her out of the office. Xavier and I watch them go.
"What else did she say?" Xavier's jaw is tight. There's bags under his eyes.
"Dark and cold."