The sun had fallen, and Stonepaw lingered at the entrance to the medicine den. The atmosphere was clouded with drizzle, and he could only see a few fox-lengths ahead, yet despite the unpleasant dampness, he remained, ignoring his shivers. It wasn't like he was all too keen on heading to the warriors' den to sleep there anyway, just when the apprentices had begun to leave him be too. He didn't really feel like starting over now.
Suddenly, a muzzle peered through the vines sheltering the den before Stonepaw from the outside world.
"Oh, Stonepa—you're still here." Sleeksplinter observed, poking his head slightly further through the vines. "Shouldn't you be getting some rest? It's not like you're a cat of the past, sitting a vigil." He chuckled, but a small amount of concern was visible on his face.
Stonepaw supposed it was comforting to know a cat cared about his health, even if it was just because that was a medicine cat's job. "Is she okay?" was his only response as he took a tentative step closer, hoping to catch a glimpse of what lay inside the den.
Sleeksplinter only sighed, "She'll be fine, but her recovery may take a little while. I'm afraid this is the first I've seen, or heard, of these symptoms, so we'll have to take it slow." His golden gaze fell to somewhere off the side of Stonepaw, and his voice became softer. "Why don't you go check on her? Don't get too close, but I'm sure she'll want to speak with you."
Stonepaw nodded in thanks and stepped in; he didn't quite feel like forming words in all honesty.
Just putting his head through almost made him recoil, the strong stench of both sickness and herbs made him feel dizzy, but worse, he could see his beloved mother curled up in what looked to be pain, and her eyes were closed tightly. His heart ached to see it. This was his fault. Her fur looked colourless and dark in the gloom, her earlier fierceness replaced with quiet suffering.
"Tigertooth?" Stonepaw asked hesitantly, stepping through the curtain fully and padding over to the body. He watched as she blinked open her eyes and registered his existence.
"Hi, Stonepaw." She said warmly, though her voice sounded wrong, strained. Likely from the screaming earlier or the coughing. Stonepaw lowered himself to sit as Tigertooth attempted to sit up; he protested, but she only insisted that she was as strong as any healthy she-cat, and, indeed, she managed to sit with only small difficulty. "So, what brings you here at this hour?"
Stonepaw couldn't think how to answer. He shuffled his paws underneath him and looked away before looking back to her, meeting those pale green eyes. "Will you…" he hesitated, "are you okay?"
"Who me?" she responded with a raspy chuckle. "I'm always okay. I never get hurt, not me!"
Her tone was playful and reassuring, but Stonepaw's face only scrunched into an expression which could be categorised in anything between pity and guilt. He wasn't a kit anymore. Those warm reassurances only hurt.
Tigertooth sighed, "Stonepaw. I don't want you worrying about me. That's for me and Sleeksplinter to occupy ourselves with, but you, I worry about you; that is my role as your mother. Stonepaw, what is your plan from here?"
"My… My plan?" Stonepaw lost her gaze and swallowed. In truth, asides from how Tigertooth was doing, it had been all he could think about. Now that he was… he wasn't Stonepaw anymore. He wasn't and never would truly be a part of this clan. What would he do from here? He'd considered asking to try again, going back to Stonepaw and working to earn himself a true warrior name. He'd also considered that maybe he could learn to accept himself as Stone over time; it was only logical he'd get used to it. Then again maybe he could fight Emeraldstar for it. He was big; if he trained for a couple moons, he was sure—
"I think you should leave."
Huh? Stonepaw froze. Was she throwing him out too? Was he so useless that even his mother couldn't bear to see him anymore? Then again, he supposed she had the most reason of all to hate him. After all, he was the one who—
"Not in that way, mousebrain!" She placed her tail over his paw; it was warmer than he expected. "I just mean that it won't be good for you to stay here, and you know it." She lowered her gaze to her own front paws, retrieving her tail. "I want you to be who you want to be, and I don't think that will be easy here." She met his gaze once again, and her eyes were sparkling with a subtle sorrow.
Stonepaw shook his head, his voice breaking. "I can't; I don't want to leave you here!"
Tigertooth blinked peacefully and said, "I too would rather not say goodbye here. Perhaps this is selfish of me; I don't want to disappoint you."
"But I want to stay." His voice was barely a whisper.
"Truly?"
"I—" He wanted to stay, he wanted to be with her, so why couldn't he say it? He looked into her navelwort-green eyes, searching with those dark ones of his own, for anything to let him stay, to prove that he was wanted here.
"I'm sorry to have raised you saying otherwise, but I think you and I both know; you don't belong here."
Stonepaw felt his breath catch in his throat, and his eyes widened.
"Emeraldstar may not have been right, but he wasn't wrong either." Tigertooth looked at him, not through him, not past him, but truly looked at him. She was one of the few who ever had. And yet now she both looked at him with love and said those words whilst doing so.
He didn't know what to feel. How to interpret it. His gaze fixed itself to the ground.
"A clan life does not suit you, nor does a clan name. My beautiful kit, you are Stone."
Stonepaw was frozen. He stiffly lifted his head and dragged his gaze once more to his mother, Tigertooth. Unsure whether to feel betrayed or comforted, he just stared.
"I love you, Stone, and should you choose to leave tonight, we will meet again. I promise."