Shu Yu didn't know why, but suddenly recalled these past events.
He looked at the wife in front of him, thinking that perhaps what he feared most was that one day, she would suddenly vanish, just like his father did back then, suddenly exiting his life.
What he feared might be this, and that's why he's uneasy, that's why he feels insecure.
Because, he never wants such a thing to happen again.
The thing he feared the most, firstly, was being separated by life and death. For example, when he mistakenly thought Lao San had died, the negative emotions overwhelmed and completely drowned him.
Secondly, he feared that she would leave him, feared that she would no longer be in his life. If that were the case, he would rather die, because he knew he truly couldn't live without her, because he knew that, unknowingly, she had become increasingly significant to him.
Significant like his entire life, even far beyond his own imagination.
Emotional, unemotional. It's really hard to define.
