CHAPTER ONE HUNDRED AND ONE: A DIFFERENT KIND OF HAPPY
I thought being Samuel's girlfriend would feel completely different.
I thought there would be some dramatic change.
Maybe I would suddenly become more confident around him.
Maybe every conversation would feel different.
Maybe I would wake up every morning feeling like the main character in one of those romance stories I secretly enjoyed reading.
But the truth was...
Nothing changed.
And somehow, everything changed.
We were still students.
We still had morning assembly.
We still rushed to class when the bell rang.
We still stood in queues at the dining hall.
We still complained about prep.
We still got shouted at by teachers for talking when we were supposed to be listening.
The only difference was that now, whenever Samuel looked at me...
I knew what that look meant.
And that knowledge made my heart behave ridiculously.
The first few days of our relationship were surprisingly calm.
Samuel and I had agreed to keep things private.
Not because we were ashamed of each other.
Boarding school simply had a way of turning one harmless conversation into a full-blown story before the next meal.
If somebody saw us talking after class, by dinner someone would probably be saying we had been planning our wedding.
I had seen it happen before.
So we were careful.
Very careful.
We still sat beside each other during lessons, but we didn't suddenly start behaving differently.
If anything, Samuel became even more careful.
During Mathematics, he passed me a folded piece of paper.
I opened it beneath my desk.
Did you understand number four?
I wrote beneath it:
Yes.
He took it back.
A few seconds later, it returned.
Liar.
I fought back a smile.
I wrote:
How do you know?
His reply came almost immediately.
Because you were staring at the question for five minutes.
I glanced sideways at him.
He was facing the board with an innocent expression.
I shook my head.
I wrote:
Mind your business.
His shoulders moved slightly.
He was laughing.
I nearly laughed too.
Our teacher turned around.
"Is there something funny?"
Both of us immediately became serious.
"No, Ma."
She stared at us suspiciously.
Then continued teaching.
The moment she turned away, Samuel whispered,
"See?"
I frowned.
"See what?"
"You nearly exposed us."
I smiled.
"You're the one passing notes."
"And you're the one smiling like a fool."
I nudged his leg beneath the desk.
He laughed quietly.
Break period was when things became more complicated.
Not because Samuel and I did anything wrong.
But because people had eyes.
And boarding-school students had extremely good eyes when it came to other people's business.
I was standing near the classroom doorway with Victoria and Morayo when Samuel walked past.
He didn't stop.
He simply looked at me.
One second.
That was all.
But Victoria immediately noticed.
She slowly turned towards me.
"Hmm."
I sighed.
"Don't start."
"I didn't say anything."
"You were about to."
Morayo laughed.
"Victoria doesn't need to say anything. Her face has already written a whole paragraph."
I rolled my eyes.
"You two are unbelievable."
Victoria grinned.
"So it's true?"
"What?"
"You and Samuel."
My smile disappeared.
"I thought we agreed we weren't telling anybody."
"We're not telling anybody."
Morayo pointed at my face.
"Your face told us."
I covered my face with both hands.
"Oh my goodness."
They burst out laughing.
Then Victoria became slightly more serious.
"I'm happy for you."
I looked at her.
"Really?"
She nodded.
"Really."
Morayo smiled.
"Same."
Something warmed inside me.
After everything we had gone through...
After the misunderstandings and old grudges...
Having both of them genuinely happy for me meant more than I expected.
"Thank you."
Victoria squeezed my shoulder.
"Just don't become one of those girls that forgets everybody after getting a boyfriend."
I laughed.
"I won't."
Morayo raised an eyebrow.
"We'll see."
Gift was different.
She didn't ask questions.
She didn't make jokes.
She didn't behave strangely around me.
If anything, she became quieter.
We still shared our corner in the hostel.
Her lower bunk.
My upper bunk.
Our belongings remained separate.
Our routines remained the same.
But something between us had changed.
There was no longer that uncomfortable tension.
One evening, while we were arranging our things before prep, she suddenly said,
"You really like him."
I looked down at her.
"Yes."
The word came naturally this time.
I didn't need to deny it.
Gift nodded.
"I can tell."
I smiled faintly.
"You still like him?"
She paused.
Then shook her head.
"Not the same way."
I didn't know whether to believe her.
But I appreciated the honesty.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For not making things difficult."
Gift smiled slightly.
"Floral, we're sharing the same corner. If I start fighting you every day, who will suffer?"
I laughed.
"Both of us."
"Exactly."
For the first time, the conversation between us felt easy.
Not forced.
Not tense.
Just two girls talking.
Maybe we weren't friends yet.
But perhaps...
We were getting there.
As the weeks passed, Samuel and I settled into our new reality.
There were no grand romantic gestures.
Most of our moments were tiny.
He would save me a seat during a particularly crowded classroom activity.
I would remind him about an assignment he had forgotten.
He would wait for me after class.
I would occasionally leave a sweet on his desk.
Sometimes we would simply walk in the same direction without saying anything.
Those ordinary moments became my favourite ones.
One afternoon, after prep, Samuel walked beside me towards the classroom block.
"You've been quiet."
"I'm tired."
"Long day?"
"Very."
He smiled.
"Do you want me to tell you something funny?"
"Go ahead."
"I nearly got punished today."
I looked at him.
"Why?"
"I laughed during Chemistry."
"That's your own problem."
"The teacher thought I was laughing at him."
"Were you?"
"No."
He paused.
"Maybe."
I laughed.
"Samuel!"
"What?"
"You're impossible."
He smiled.
Then we continued walking.
At the corner near the classroom block, he stopped.
"Goodnight, Floral."
"Goodnight."
He started walking away.
Then turned around.
"Floral?"
"Hm?"
He smiled.
"I'm glad you said yes."
My heart softened.
"So am I."
He walked away again.
I stood there for a few seconds before heading towards the girls' hostel.
I didn't know then...
That those simple moments would later become some of the memories I would hold onto the hardest.
Because happiness doesn't always announce when it is about to change.
Sometimes...
It simply exists.
Quietly.
Beautifully.
Until one day, you realise you should have appreciated it more.
And at that moment, I had no reason to believe anything would go wrong.
I was happy.
Samuel was happy.
Our friends were slowly accepting it.
SS1 was approaching its final stretch.
Everything seemed to be falling perfectly into place.
I didn't know that SS2 would be different.
I didn't know that people change.
That circumstances change.
That feelings can become complicated.
That love can be genuine and still not be enough to make a relationship last.
For now, though...
I pushed those thoughts away.
I climbed onto my upper bunk that night, pulled my mosquito net around me and smiled into my pillow.
Because for the first time in a long time...
I wasn't wondering whether Samuel liked me.
I knew.
And for that moment...
Knowing was enough.