He knew he had to do something, otherwise one day he would lose control.
No one knew how afraid he was of his loss of control, how scared he was of his sanity being completely consumed by that dark thought, doing something that he would regret, something that would hurt her!
Every day he restrained himself, fought against the darkness, lived exhausted, needed large amounts of sleeping pills and alcohol each night to fall asleep, and every night in his dreams, he would dream of murdering Su Yan. She would look at him with such hatred in her eyes, a gaze that always jolted him awake, never daring to sleep again.
He went to see a psychologist, who told him he needed to relax his spirit, otherwise the consequences would be unimaginable.
He chose to marry; one, to reassure Bai Xue, and two, he thought a bond of responsibility might make things better.
