I have known Clayden and Zenji for a very long time. Clayden wanted to become an actor, and Zenji wished to become a singer. I don't know what I want to be in the future, but I did have a dream. The only problem was that I didn't dare to continue anymore. Clayden and Zenji were both confident with their dreams. Thinking back again about it, mine would look naive and foolish just looking at how hard they are working to accomplish it and me standing behind them just watching. When we were kids, I always wondered. How did they become so confident? How can they say it really is their dream?
"Rae, I did it. Look! Look!" Clayden called my name and convinced me to listen to him. When I turned to look at him, he was smiling so brightly out of excitement that he immediately spat out the great news "I'm gonna be part of Lacia's advertisement! My favorite brand." When he said that, I knew at that time that I had already lost to him because Clayden had the most significant thing that I never had to begin with. He enjoyed what he was doing.
Clayden being so talented might also be the reason why he can't do any housework. It's quite a pain if he were to even help me since he can't do it right either way, even if I teach him. "Stop, Big bro! That tickles!" I heard my brother say those words in between his loud laughs, making me stop chopping vegetables to check on my brother. I saw that Clayden was tickling my little brother, who couldn't almost breathe from laughing too hard, and Clayden was laughing along with him.
"Clyde." I called Clayden, and he immediately turned around to look in my direction and went pale upon seeing me glaring at him, signing him to stop tickling my brother. He did stop and looked away while whistling. I sighed and went back to preparing our dinner. While doing that, I asked my brother to help me.
"Roy, Can you fetch me the spoon and forks?" I called my little brother Roy to get the utensils so we could start setting up the table. He then stood up and ran towards the kitchen and said, "I'll go get it, big sis!" I followed him from behind to continue cooking. Instead of only grabbing the utensils, he grabbed three plates from the cupboard and went back to the kitchen table to start setting up the table. Once I was done cooking, I started placing a huge portion of the food in a bowl and placed it in the center of the table.
"Why didn't you let me help?" Clayden asked. I turned to look at him with a glare as I noticed his left hand was about to take a piece of the egg rolls. I slapped his hand right before he could take it. I sat down beside Royce. "Because, unlike you. A middle schooler won't drop the plates." I told him and groaned, remembering when I asked Clayden to help me set up the table as I started eating along with Royce and heard Clayden click his tongue, which made me let out a chuckle.
"When will Big Brother Zenji come?" Roy suddenly asked with a sad expression. He was playing with his food while staring at his plate. I sighed and thought.
"I'll invite him here next time, Roy. Now please, Stop playing with your food." I told him as I caressed his hand, trying to persuade him to continue to eat. "Why do you want Zenji anyway? Your big brother Clayden is here." Clayden asked as he rolled his eyes upon mentioning Zenji, which only made Roy narrow his eyes at him. Meanwhile, Clayden reassuringly, or should we say confidently, told him that he was there for Roy as I grabbed a glass of water.
"No, thank you." Roy bluntly declined Clayden. I burst out laughing while drinking, making me spit out the water. Clayden's eyes twitched, and he tried his best to keep smiling.
"Why is that?" Clayden asked while glaring at my brother. Clayden then waited for him to answer. My little brother Royce doesn't act his age at all, and unlike me, he inherited our mother's talent—the love for painting. He is rather quiet, and he even gets along better with Zenji than Clayden. Because of that, Royce ended up adapting Zenji's bluntness...
"You suck at cooking, You are clueless, Immature, Irresponsible, Insensitive, Careless, Shameless, Selfish, and above all else...You're a playboy." Roy defined Clayden, leaving him stunned. Roy then sipped the soup and stood up while Clayden tried to take in his words. 'It's true, though.' I sighed and glanced at Roy, who was about to bring his dishes to the sink.
"I'm not a playboy, though..." Clayden mumbled as tears streamed down his cheeks. I ignored him and continued to eat.
"Stop whining and start eating, Clyde." I told him as he sat up straight and started eating, tears continued to stream down.
"It's delicious...Raven." Clayden complimented my cooking while he was munching food.
"Don't talk when you're eating. What are you? A kid?" I reminded him at first and asked him mockingly.
"He is a kid, big sis. You just noticed?" Royce butted in as I burst out laughing once again, and tears started to flow out because I kept on laughing while Clayden was fuming in anger. He was about to speak, but I gestured to him with my hands to wait as Roy went up to his room.
"It's not funny, Rae." Clayden told me as soon as I started slamming the table. Laughing at him only made him pout.
"You do act like a kid, Clyde."
• • •
The next day at school, I went outside the school building to see if Zenji was in the bleachers on the football field. I wanted to invite him over to dinner since Royce requested it, and Zenji knows how to cook. Once I reached the field, instead of calling him, his classmates started calling his name. I immediately noticed that Zenji had his headphones on. The wind blew his messy brown hair, and the mole under his eye that never ceases to amaze me. I can already see at this distance.
I leaned in closer. "Zenji?" I called out his name, but he didn't answer. Instead, he started singing in a whispering tone.
"どうしようもない,あなたに恋して. たとえどんなときであっても,あなたが私よりも彼を愛していることはわかっています."
"Zenji!" I called out for his name once again, but this time, I moved the other side of his headphones, making him flinch. I thought he would be mad, but his facial expression changed as soon as he saw me.
"Uhh, Yeah?" Zenji asked me as he put his headphones on his shoulders. I then grabbed a chair and placed it at the side of his table.
"What were you doing?" I asked him as soon as I sat down, smiling while Zenji sighed. He was about to speak, but I interrupted him by adding, "You were writing a song?" I asked him once again as he put his palm on his forehead, moving the hair covering his face to reveal those dark ocean blues, and with a small smile on his face.
"If you know, why bother asking? Rae." Zenji asked me. He suddenly chuckled and stared into my eyes, waiting for me to answer.
"Well, I'm sorry for asking the obvious." I answered, rolling my eyes. I stood up from my seat and was about to leave when I remembered what I was there for. "By the way, will you go to my house for dinner?" I asked Zenji, expecting him to say yes. He just answered me with a nod, but then the first bell for my next class rang, signaling me to leave since the next class was about to start, or else I'd be marked late. 'The room for my next class is so far away...'
"レイヴンさん,本当に美しいですね..." I muttered, staring at Raven as she walked away. I groaned. Then I remembered how close she was to my face earlier, and also her asking me out for dinner. 'Wait... Did she just ask me out? Would Clayden also be there? Ughh.' I thought as I scratched my head irritably, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"You're blushing too hard, Hasegawa." My classmate Michael teased me as I glared at him and made him run away from me. I laid my head on my lap and sighed as I fantasized about Raven's smile, playing on repeat in my head. I placed my headphones back on, and once I heard it playing a love song, I pressed the next button.
I was walking down the stairs when I noticed Clayden being surrounded by girls again through the window on my way to my next class.
"That guy sure has it easy. I bet he will have no problem getting any girls he wants." A guy groaned. I thought the same thing as the sophomores talked. Being surrounded by girls isn't new to him, but even so, I noticed him getting uncomfortable sometimes. I couldn't possibly make them go away... If I did, most of them would say that I was only bothering him again. I glanced at the window to look in his direction again and saw that he was also looking in my direction. He waved at me. I was about to wave back when the three sophomores started to ask me personal things about me that really made me uncomfortable.
I never wanted other people's attention. My friend told me that I was really pretty and smart and that I would get popular, just like Zenji and Clayden, if I actually tried. Even if that were to happen, it would only get worse for me.
"Hey, Zenji. Who was that girl earlier?" a seatmate asked. I glanced at my bag to get my textbook and take notes as the teacher started the lesson. Our teacher looked over in our direction, which made my seatmate flinch and look away.
"That was Raven." I answered his question as the professor started to write on the board and as he still spoke about the lesson. I then began highlighting keywords in my textbook.
"She's really pretty. How come I haven't met her before, despite us knowing each other for a long time now?" My seatmate asked again while I was busy highlighting words. I momentarily stopped and looked out of the window, and saw Clayden excusing himself to the girls before he walked towards the direction where Raven was. 'Seems like Raven was asked to fetch him again...'
"Raven is pretty, but as far as I can see, she doesn't have any ideals and is really uncertain about what she wants to do, so she becomes a shadow rather than being the light itself. She's really talented and pretty. People might as well mistake her for a model if she can realize it herself..." I told him about the Raven I know. I sighed and looked up at the sky, and closed my eyes.
She can't continue to be a shadow forever.
To be Continued. . .