Chaos. That is the only way my surroundings can be called. And fear. That is what my whole body is filled with. I hold Liz tight, keeping the terror in my heart at bay as I try feel her warmth, to keep it with me, as I pray for the despair from half a year ago not to revisit me, because this time, I won't be able to deal with it, I won't be able to resist the abyss.
If only I knew it had been staring at me, even though I never realized it was there, that it had always been there.
Why can't the world leave me alone? Just… Why?
_ _ _
_ _ _
I slip through the threshold and close the door behind me to lock the cold outside. Inside, it is a contrast to the winter that seems as if it will bring snow this year. That will be a first in maybe a century, or two.
Liz is already back from the hospital. No, she is actually back from the hospital. I guess that is what working hard on normal days bring. Even though the hospital needs more hands with the end of the year, she can have some rest.
When she hears the noise, she looks up from her book, and turns to me with a smile.
"You are back early today."
I roll my eyes at her.
"I should be the one to say that, sis!"
She smiles at my retort.
"I'm resting for the next few days. And you? Didn't you go to your part-time job? It is the holiday tomorrow, a kind of peak for the season, isn't it?"
I shake my head while walking to the kitchen.
"Yes. But Emmie has her club training today, and we scheduled our shifts to do them together. Moreover, by not going today, the cake will be shared by fewer people. The ladies at the store will resent us less."
Liz smiles.
"You two must be really good at selling then."
I shake my head with a smile while washing my hands.
"It is not just that, sis. Most of the time, Emmie and I are outside looking for customers. But looking simply at our turnover, we seem to be taking too much from the others at the store. And like all humans they direct their bitterness at who they perceive as the cause of their static bonus, us."
Liz goes quiet. She must have easily pictured the situation. I bet she has faced something like that herself before, not only among women, but also men. Don't be deluded in thinking that only women feel resentment and jealousy. Men can, just as much, and sometimes, express them in ways just as ugly, if not more.
Liz thinks for a moment then shakes her head, before looking at me with her smile filled with praise.
"My little sister must be really gifted then, to attract so much envy."
"Of course."
"Hahaha…"
After preening for a moment to get a laugh out of Liz, I drink the water I have served myself while we were speaking.
Liz shakes her head in amusement.
"You are so childish! Then what is your plan for the afternoon?"
"Completing a coding project. Soon, I will start taking some freelance projects to expand my revenues and get more experience."
"Weren't you more interested in management before?"
Immediately after those words, Liz covers her mouth, and I look at her with indignation.
"Sis!"
"I'm sorry. I failed to pay much attention to you lately."
I pout and turn away. It is only when I catch the wry smile on Liz's lips from the corner of my eyes that I mutter an answer.
"I'm still learning about management, but computer science is easier to practice by myself. Even marketing is less easy to put into practice and create profits with."
Liz smiles apologetically again, before she nods.
"That is also a way to see it. I'm happy that you are learning and planning for the present as much as for the future. So, what is that project you will be completing today?"
"A secret. You will see."
Saying that, I run upstairs. Inside our shared room full of the smell of soft, feminine perfume, cosmetics, and also milk, I take off the bulk of my clothes and wear something lighter. I take my laptop before returning downstairs.
I don't sit with Liz in the living room. I go to the reading corner, and sink into the couch there with a sigh. Honestly, I'd rather deal with the heat instead of the cold. At least, I can just throw my clothes away for the former or take a shower.
The cold only makes me sluggish, both my body and my brain. I can't help but think about Emmie. She has become so determined to swim that even the cold did not deter her from training. Even though the indoor pool must have heating, I still have to give it to her. I didn't know she had that grit in her.
Though, maybe it is her situation that is making her channel her mind into something else. And her body too, after emptying it of all lust.
A smile comes to my lips. We have been rather wild in the last few weeks. My inside twitches at the memory, my nipples that have relaxed after leaving the cold street get pumped up, and I feel as if my fingers are back against the wet warmth of Emmie's vagina, around the cold, chill sensation of her trembling clit.
I swallow to moisten my dry throat.
I turn on the computer and open my plan for the project I'm completing. I focus on my work, and try to ignore everyone else, but a gaze is prickling at the top of my head, so much so that at some point I'm forced to raise my eyes.
"Is there something you need, sis?"
I raise an eyebrow when Liz subtly breathes to invigorate herself before she smiles.
"Do you have plans for tomorrow?"
I give a deep look, but I nod.
"Yes. Emmie invited me to the Christmas Eve party at school. She wants us to go together."
Liz's eyes glint, and she nods, a little too happy.
"That's good. That's good. You should go have fun. It is good to have fun, and you might not be able to after growing up."