DEADPOOL AND THE COPYCAT
A video uploaded to Ryan Reynolds' YouTube channel
The video opened without an introduction.
Ryan Reynolds sat alone in a dark editing room, staring intensely at a monitor. On the screen, footage from the upcoming Suicide Squad film played.
Vigilante crashed through a window, landed badly, shot two armed men, and immediately began arguing with Peacemaker about who had made the more dramatic entrance.
Ryan paused the video.
Then he slowly turned toward the camera.
"You're probably wondering why I'm watching this."
He glanced back at the monitor.
"I'm wondering why I'm watching this."
Ryan leaned forward and folded his hands.
"I have a complicated relationship with comic-book adaptations. Mostly because I don't like it when filmmakers take a beloved character and change everything about them."
He gestured toward himself.
"That is why I spent years perfecting Deadpool for the big screen. Years of research, development, emotional suffering, studio meetings, and politely explaining that sewing his mouth shut was perhaps not the strongest creative choice."
A photograph from X-Men Origins: Wolverine appeared beside his head.
Ryan stared at it.
The photograph vanished.
"We don't talk about that."
He picked up a Deadpool comic from the desk.
"With Deadpool, the solution was simple. Take what already worked in the comics and put it on screen. No unnecessary changes. No character assassination. No turning a Manhattan district attorney, driven to violent revenge after the mob murders his family, into a sociopath with no filter who takes metaphors literally, lacks a moral compass, and, for some reason, is a Peacemaker fanboy."
Ryan looked toward the paused image of Vigilante.
"That would be ridiculous, right?"
He faced the camera again.
"And yet, someone whose name rhymes with Padler seems to have done exactly that."
He stood and walked toward a large evidence board covered with photographs, red string, comic-book pages, and several blurry images of Daniel.
"Ever since the first trailer was released, fans have been asking the same questions."
Messages began appearing across the screen.
WHY DOES VIGILANTE ACT LIKE DEADPOOL?
DID DANIEL JUST PUT DEADPOOL IN THE SUICIDE SQUAD?
IS RYAN GETTING PAID FOR THIS?
Ryan pointed toward the final message.
"No."
He looked directly into the camera.
"I am not."
Ryan returned to the desk.
"But after an extensive investigation conducted by myself, my legal team, and a private detective..."
Ryan pointed toward a Detective Pikachu plushie with a sign beside it that read:
COMING 2019
"...we discovered the truth."
The screen cut to grainy black-and-white security footage.
A man wearing an obviously fake Daniel Adler mask crept into Ryan's office in the middle of the night. The mask was several sizes too large and shifted whenever he moved.
The intruder approached a desk marked:
DEADPOOL MOVIE SCRIPT
He opened a drawer and removed a thick screenplay.
The masked man flipped through several pages.
"Oh, yeah," he whispered. "This is good stuff."
He read another page.
"Oh, this is really good."
The man shoved the screenplay beneath his jacket.
Before leaving, he noticed a framed photograph of Ryan on the desk, turned it facedown, and stole a decorative pen.
The footage froze.
Ryan appeared beside the image and pointed toward the masked intruder.
"That definitely might not look like Daniel Adler."
Text appeared beneath the figure.
DEFINITELY DANIEL ADLER
Ryan nodded.
"Some people will claim that this is an actor wearing a cheap mask."
He leaned closer to the camera.
"Those people have been compromised."
Ryan pointed back toward the frozen footage.
"So now we know how Vigilante became a violent, immature, excessively talkative lunatic with questionable morals and an unhealthy relationship with firearms."
He paused.
"Original filmmaking."
Ryan returned to his chair.
"But don't worry. We retrieved the screenplay, changed all the parts that were 'stolen', and replaced them with newer, more legally distinguishable material."
A page appeared on the screen.
DEADPOOL ENTERS THE ROOM AND SAYS SOMETHING HILARIOUS.
Ryan pointed at it.
"Cinema."
He leaned back in his chair.
"And now, after years of delays, rewrites, corporate restructuring, emotional blackmail, and one minor international incident, I can finally announce that filming begins next week."
The screen cut to black.
Large red letters appeared.
DEADPOOL
NOW FILMING
A second title appeared beneath it.
COMING 2020
After several seconds, smaller text appeared at the bottom.
VIGILANTE IS A COMPLETELY ORIGINAL CHARACTER.
Another line appeared.
ACCORDING TO DANIEL ADLER'S LAWYERS.
Top Comments
Maitetuff
Ever since finding out that Ryan and Daniel faked their feud for so long, I find all of this even funnier. They are two of my favorites, and I really didn't want them to genuinely hate each other.
Comaneuy
To be fair, Daniel really did turn Vigilante into Deadpool in a different costume.
Meithboard
Ryan, we both know that you and Daniel are basically best friends. You aren't fooling anyone anymore.
Cinemhaos
I love how everyone knows the feud is fake now, but Ryan and Daniel have collectively decided that they are never going to admit it.
Thalcler
Someone whose name rhymes with Padler needs to respond immediately.
Aarvelonace
The funniest part is knowing that Daniel probably helped write this video.
Deroisense
I used to think Ryan genuinely hated Daniel. Now every old interview and tweet is ten times funnier because they were clearly trying not to laugh.
FedAckuit
Ryan, blink twice if Daniel is currently directing this video.
Filmblin2
And the feud continues.
.
.
.
The international broadcast returned from a replay of West Ham's latest attack as the ball rolled out for an Arsenal goal kick.
Peter Drury allowed the noise of the Emirates to fill the broadcast for a moment.
"Still, West Ham search for the breakthrough."
The camera moved away from the pitch and swept across the executive boxes.
It settled on Daniel Adler and Alisher Usmanov sitting together. Usmanov was speaking animatedly while Daniel listened with a drink in his hand.
Drury paused.
"Well, there is an interesting meeting taking place high above the pitch."
Jim Beglin laughed quietly.
"You don't normally expect those two to appear in the same conversation."
"Daniel Adler, author, filmmaker, businessman, and seemingly a man with enough occupations already, alongside Alisher Usmanov, Arsenal's second-largest shareholder."
The camera remained on them as Usmanov leaned closer and gestured toward the pitch.
Daniel answered with something that made the Russian laugh.
Beglin said, "That doesn't look like two men exchanging opinions about Arsenal's defending."
"You suspect their conversation may concern rather larger numbers than those displayed on the scoreboard."
Drury laughed as they turned their attention to the match once more.
=========
r/Gunners
Posted by u/Nornkews
[ORNSTEIN] Daniel Adler has agreed to purchase Alisher Usmanov's entire 30.04% stake in Arsenal
David Ornstein: American businessman, author, and filmmaker Daniel Adler has reached an agreement in principle to purchase Alisher Usmanov's entire shareholding in Arsenal Football Club.
The deal remains subject to Premier League approval. Adler attended Arsenal's match against West Ham at the Emirates last weekend and was seen speaking with Usmanov during halftime.
Sources close to Adler say that he has no intention of selling the shares to Stan Kroenke and views the investment as "long-term."
Adler will become Arsenal's second-largest shareholder but will not receive automatic control over the board or the club's daily operations.
32.8k upvotes | 6.4k comments
u/AFCModTeam · Stickied comment · 7.3k points
A reminder that Adler has purchased approximately 30% of the club.
He has not bought Arsenal.
Kroenke remains the majority shareholder and retains effective control.
u/CazasLBoot · 11.7k points
HE BOUGHT THE SHARES AFTER ONE MATCH 😭
u/Highrary · 8.9k points
The most important part is that Kroenke hasn't got them.
I don't know whether Adler will be a good owner. I don't know whether this is a vanity project. But preventing Stan from taking the club private is already preferable to the alternative.
u/Monsterton replying to u/Highrary
You do realise that if Adler buys Kroenke's shares as well, he will take the club private too?
u/Dnvinciore · 5.9k points
Adler can't do anything.
Usmanov had 30% for years and accomplished absolutely nothing because Kroenke controlled the board. Unless Adler has a plan to buy Kroenke out, this could just be another billionaire sitting in the directors' box occasionally.
u/Clocarlie · 4.1k points
I am deeply suspicious of any billionaire buying part of a football club.
That being said:
He blocked Kroenke from gaining near-total ownership.
He actually attended a match.
He apparently spoke to supporters outside afterward.
He is not borrowing money against Arsenal to complete the purchase.
The bar is underground, but he has cleared it.
u/Pounners · 3.6k points
You know what they say: everything Adler touches turns to gold.
This means we are winning the league and every cup for the next decade.
u/Thienthu14 · 3.2k points
Imagine being Kroenke. You spend years waiting for Usmanov to give up, and then some kid turns up, watches one match, and buys the entire stake.
u/Qzilonce · 2.7k points
He met Usmanov at halftime and bought £550 million worth of shares.I spent halftime queueing for a pie. We live very different lives.
u/Ramstrease · 2.6k points
Daniel, mate, forget Mbappé.
JUST RENEW RAMSEY.
u/ehfavrnstein · 2.4k points
Adler's representatives have reportedly requested meetings with the Arsenal Supporters' Trust and minority shareholders. That alone would place him ahead of Kroenke in terms of communication.
u/Arogjoyer · 2.1k points
My feelings, in order:
Thank God Kroenke didn't get the shares.
Why does Daniel Adler want them?
How serious is he about buying the rest?
Does he understand that Arsenal supporters will make his life miserable?
Can he play centre-back?
u/Feocysed · 2k points
The author of Percy Jackson buys a stake in Arsenal.
Poseidon confirmed as our new set-piece coach.
u/Eerdrmy · 1.8k points
Serious question: what happens when Adler and Kroenke disagree?
Kroenke owns enough shares to control virtually every decision. Adler can complain publicly, but unless there are legal protections attached to the shares, he may be just as powerless as Usmanov was.
u/Rorpooner replying · 1.9k points
He cannot outvote Kroenke, but he can prevent complete ownership, retain financial visibility as a substantial shareholder, create public pressure, and potentially organise a future takeover offer.
It is leverage, not control.
u/WalcottsPromise · 1.7k points
He has built multiple companies and made it big in Hollywood. Now let's see whether he can handle the true challenge: Arsenal Twitter after a draw away at Brighton.
u/GeasoaC · 793 points
Best realistic outcome: he becomes an active counterweight to Kroenke and slowly builds enough support to make a full bid.
Most likely outcome: two billionaires spend years refusing to sell to each other.
Worst outcome: he loses interest and sells to Kroenke at a profit.
Nobody knows which one we're getting.
u/Nornkews · OP · 6.6k points · EDIT
UPDATE: Adler has released a brief statement:
"Arsenal belongs first to its supporters. I am entering this investment with respect for the club's history and with the intention of helping it compete at the highest level. I have no plans to sell my shares to KSE."
u/Fghbubrary · 5.2k points
"No plans to sell my shares to KSE."
BUILD THE STATUE.
u/FoggingEstandards replying · 2.8k points
What he means is, "I want to own it all myself."
.
.
.
"What I need from all of you is a plan that ends with me owning the entire club," I said.
The conference room fell silent.
Nearly twenty people sat around the long table, each selected because they were among the best in their respective fields. Investment bankers, corporate lawyers, tax specialists, sports finance analysts, public relations advisers, and several people whose expertise could be broadly described as finding ways around problems that others considered immovable.
Lucia sat beside me, reviewing the first set of documents prepared on Arsenal's ownership structure. She was my friend and financial adviser, which meant she was one of the few people in the room willing to tell me when she thought I was being an idiot.
One of the bankers leaned forward.
"How much are you prepared to spend?"
"Let's set the maximum at two and a half billion dollars."
Several expressions changed around the table.
Lucia slowly turned toward me.
"Do we really need to spend that much?"
"It's a ceiling, not an opening offer."
"Daniel, two and a half billion is more than eleven percent of your current net worth."
Eleven point three six percent, to be precise. A large amount by any reasonable standard.
"According to your projections, I'll be worth ten times as much within the next decade," I said. "Possibly more."
"Yes, but you are not worth ten times as much now."
"How much is Stan Kroenke worth?"
Lucia glanced down at the report.
"Approximately eight billion."
"See? We're not even close."
"That is not how financial risk works."
"I think we can afford it. The banks were extremely pleased with me after the last round of loans, and most of those investments have already increased in value."
Lucia studied me for several seconds before looking back at the papers.
"Fine. We'll examine the financing options."
"Thank you."
I turned toward the rest of the table.
"I want to know everything about Kroenke. His businesses, debts, partnerships, family interests, pressure points, long-term plans, and every previous offer he has accepted or rejected."
One of the lawyers began writing.
"I believe I have a meeting with him soon," I added.
"You do," Lucia said. "Our preliminary conversations suggest he may be willing to meet in October."
"And from what you've found?"
"He is not the selling type."
Kroenke had spent years increasing his control over Arsenal. One did not go through that much effort merely to surrender when someone else appeared with a larger cheque.
That was why I had assembled the room.
"Find me a way. Any legal way."
A few of them exchanged glances.
"Everyone has a price."
The room became quiet again.
I pushed my chair back and stood. Everyone else rose with me.
"Now, excuse me. I need to get to Venice for the premiere."
Lucia followed me into the corridor, carrying a report beneath one arm.
"You know this might become the worst investment you have ever made."
I glanced at her.
"Luce, in eight years, my Bitcoin holdings alone will probably be worth as much as my entire net worth is today."
"Something I find hard to believe."
"Every other major investment is also growing. Barring some global economic catastrophe, I am going to become one of the richest people in the world within a decade."
I paused.
"I'm not worried about money anymore."
"That kind of talk usually comes immediately before someone loses a great deal of money," Lucia said.
She sighed.
"You have never been wrong before."
"I wouldn't go that far."
I paused.
"You know what? On matters like this, no, I haven't."
"And that short burst of humility lasted almost three seconds."
I smiled as we reached the elevator.
"What can I say? I really do have the Midas touch."
Lucia made a disgusted sound.
I laughed.