"The weird, weird thing about devastating loss is that life actually goes on." - James Patterson
I had always been a strange kid. I would sometimes see things that aren't there. One time, I stared at the sky a bit too long and saw a massive golden castle. I pointed it out to my parents, and they would see nothing. They told me to keep all these things to myself, as if others caught wind of it, they might consider us heretics and burn us alive. But then, when I had grown older, I learnt about our god "Dewa", and it was said that he lived in a golden castle, in a realm above us. I was excited when I heard that, as I thought it meant I could see our god directly. I went to tell my parents about it, but they were more terrified than thrilled. My mother insisted that I should never speak about it ever again, while my father took a knife and cut my mouth, leaving a scar. I cried, I cried a lot back then. My father then told me that I should remember the pain whenever I feel like telling people about it.
Back then, I thought my parents were evil and mean, but then I saw for the first time the punishment for heretics. I remembered it very clearly. There were people caught writing our god's name incorrectly and were convicted for it. They and their family were tied to the poles and were burned alive, while everyone watched. While others rejoiced and praised our god, I was terrified. My scar hurt, and it reminded me to keep my mouth shut, or my family will be burned as well. So I tried my best to stay out of trouble. I ignored all of my visions. I say nothing about any of it. I acted like I was just another ordinary kid. I thought that by doing so, my family would not be in danger. I loved my parents deeply, so I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to them.
But then... it happened. It was an ordinary day, nothing different about it. I was playing ball with my friends when I hit the ball too hard, causing it to hit a passerby. The passerby was a man wearing strange clothes that I had never seen before. He looked foreign and different from everyone else. I was scared that he was going to get me in trouble, especially when he turned around so quickly. As I got closer to him... I saw that he was no ordinary person. He was covered with crows. It freaked me out for a bit, but I could not make a scene. So I cautiously approached him, but he turned out to be a pretty nice man. He grabbed my ball for me and handed it over to me. I was quite relieved. I quickly grabbed the ball, thanked him, and left. I had decided to keep my mouth shut and ignore everything about it. But then the bell rang, and the time had come for us to gather at the centre of the city. My parents searched for me, and we went together. At first, nothing out of the ordinary happened. We chanted for Asal Rukun, and we bowed for him, but then... that man did not. He just stood there and was called out for it. He tried to explain himself, but he was swiftly decapitated by an assassin. The crowd cheered for his death, and his body was carried away. That should have been the end of it.
After the gathering was over, my parents and I went home as usual. I lay on my bed and thought about that man and wondered if he deserved such a punishment. Was I a heretic as well for having doubts? Had I strayed from the path of Dewa? As I was wondering all of these, I fell asleep and began to dream. Strangely, I dreamt about crows... lots of crows... In the midst of them, a dark figure stood tall. It was not anything like the man before. It was scary and felt evil. Its gaze scared me, and I began to run away from him. The creature was right behind me, chasing after me. But then I saw a golden king sitting on a golden throne. He looked so noble and mighty. I thought that he was Dewa. I ran towards him, hoping he would protect me from the dark figure. He stood up from his throne and took his giant golden spear. I felt I was saved already... but then he threw... and the spear pierced my body. It hurt... it really hurt... And I woke up from my nightmare, screaming.
I thought it was over; it was just a nightmare. But the screaming didn't stop. It wasn't my screaming. It was my mother's. I rushed out of my bedroom and saw my mother being dragged away by the assassins. My father tried to fight them, but the assassins were invincible. They stabbed him through the chest. With his mouth filled with blood, he yelled for me to run away before his head was severed with a sword. I screamed and cried. I couldn't move at all. I was supposed to have woken up from the nightmare. So what is this? I felt fear all over my body, and with the little strength I had, I moved my leg to try to run away, but I was grabbed and dragged through the streets by the assassin. My mother pleaded for the assassins to let me go; she begged them and screamed her heart out, but then one of the assassins slit her throat, silencing her. She covered her neck, but the blood kept on flowing. I screamed out for my mother as she bled to death. I saw her life leaving her eyes.
I didn't care anymore... I was numb... the pain was too much... They tied me to a pole, and as the crowd cheered, they burned me along with the others. All I knew from my last moments was that Asal Rukun said that I caused my parents' deaths. My interaction with that man led to all of it. Knowing that, despite the heat, the fires, and the pain, my tears won't stop coming out. "I am sorry, father... I am so sorry... mother..."
To be continued.