Chapter 16: Silver hair
Rhaenyra Targaryen hated giving birth.
She loved her son, she already loved the babe that was slowly coming out of her, but Gods, did she hate the process!
The Septas had spent her entire childhood pretending that it was a woman's greatest honor to birth her husband's children, a gift from the Gods themselves. Not only did her mother's miscarriages proved them wrong, but what in the Seven Hells would those old crones know about birthing babes? With their chastity vows and their fat arses?
Rhaenyra knew she would shit herself, again! Just like she had shat herself during Jace's birth! Jonothor had made a joke about this, telling her she stank and needed to bath, well… She could not wait to bath after she was done with this one, even though he was not as large as his brother.
Rhaenyra hated this birth even more than the last, no one was here to support her this time, her idiotic husband had gone the Gods know where and Jon was stuck with Aegon,again! What had her father been drinking to put the twins together?! Jon may be the most willful person in this castle, but Aegon was the exact opposite, and they could not balance each other! Jon belonged with her and Jace, not with that fool.
"The Pains are still too far apart." A midwife said, shaking her head.
"Gods!"
"It is just pain, Princess." A younger one said.
"I know it's fucking pains, I've birthed a child before!"
She almost bit her tongue in regret, but another sharp pain came to tell her that, they were done being far apart.
And they came again, quicker and quicker in succession. Rhaenyra tried to remain strong, she was the heir to the Throne, the future Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. She had birthed a child before, she would be fine.
She tried and failed not to think of her mother, so she tried to think about something that would give her strength. She tried to think of her son, but imagined his reaction if he were to see his own mother in such a state. So her thoughts went back to her brother.
Jonothor would have told her that everything was all right, that she could do this, that she was not going to die, that he would help her taking care of this babe like he's been doing with Jace. He was the only one in this castle she could trust with her children.
"All right, Princess." The experienced midwife said."I believe we are ready for a first try. Remember, do not try to push it out all at once, this may be your second, but it won't come out quickly."
"Very well."
She hated this, but she wanted to meet her second babe so desperately, she hoped it would be a girl, she wanted a girl.
"Round your back… push!"
Rhaenyra contracted all of her muscles and pushed as hard as she could. Her cry rattled as it shook her vocal cords. It lasted for several seconds before the midwife called out:
"Stop, take a deep breath, in and out, in and out."
She could only gasp, she felt tears form in her eyes.
"Well done, Princess, now, count three breaths… and push!"
It lasted for hours, though it was not quite as long as it had been for Jace, but still, it felt like an eternity.
"I can see the head." The midwife finally announced. "A little bit more and I will be able to help pull it out. You're almost there, Princess."
"Fucking… finally."
She bit her tongue, the first word her child would hear would not be a curse word, she needed to hold her damn tongue…
"Push!"
She did, again.
"Almost there, count three breaths, and push!"
She did, again.
"We're nearly there, on the next push, I'm gonna reach it. You're almost done, Princess."
She was tired of hearing the word 'almost', the first time that cunt had said it, had been an hour ago!
"One, two, three… Push!"
Rhaenyra cursed loudly as she felt the midwife's hand reach for her babe.
"The arm's out." the midwife called."Now keep pushing, you're almost done."
She bit back a furious insult and did as she was told. She was the blood of the Dragon, she could do this!
A disgusting and bloody smell reached her nostrils as she finally felt the weight of her babe leave her body.
The midwife held it by its foot, spanked its butt in front of its mother who almost jumped at her throat, and finally, finally, the babe cried its first cry. Allowing the Princess to breath the longest sigh of relief she had breathed since… She did not know how long.
"Fetch a basin." The older midwife instructed to the younger ones. "It's a boy, Princess. You have a second son.
Rhaenyra quickly killed any disappointment she was about to feel with one of her brightest smiles. She may have wanted a girl, but she was so happy that in the end, it did not matter.
"I want… to hold him…"
"In a moment Princess, focus on the afterbirth while we clean the little Prince."
Rhaenyra groaned loudly, she had almost forgotten about this.
She wiped the sweat of her forehead and let the liquid flow, fortunately, she did not need to push it out by herself.
The Midwife bowed slightly toward her crotch.
"Good birth, Princess." She murmured, not looking up. "Afterbirth's coming along well. Slight tear. After it's all out and we're done cleaning you up, I'll call for the maester."
"Give me my son." Rhaenyra replied, ignoring the comments, she had gone through this already, she did not need to hear it again.
If the midwife was annoyed, she did not show. She simply swaddled the babe, scooped the bundle and brought him to his mother, who's eyes sparkled in pure happiness.
The babe looked as tired as her, his eyes drooped as he gazed up at his mother. Only a few coos escaped him before he fell into his first sleep.
Rhaenyra gently kissed him, contrary to his brother, this one was all Valyrian, purple eyes and silver hair. He would be as dashing as his uncles, one day.
"Hello, Lucerys." She said, kissing him again. "Hello…"
(-)(-)(-)
Once the Maester had made sure she was alright and the midwives had cleaned her up and changed her bedsheets. Rhaenyra lied on it exhausted, with her baby in her arms and her three-year-old at her side.
Jacaerys was not old and tall enough for his mother to entrust him with his brother, but the boy had nonetheless climb on the bed and put his head against Rhaenyra's shoulder to join her into observing the baby.
"He is pwetty." Jace said.
His mother giggled.
"He is."
"Can he play with me?"
"Not right now, Jace, you need to wait until he is grown."
"How long?"
"At least two years."
Jacaerys let out a loud whimper of protest that made his mother giggle.
"It's so long." He complained.
"Well, it is how it is. You took just as long, Jace, you need to learn patience. And as the eldest, you will have to protect your little brother and help him. Can you do that, my little one?"
Jace's brown eyes brightened in a way than enlarge his mother's smile.
"Like Jon did with me?"
She almost laughed at the childish excitement that laced her son's voice.
"Yes, exactly like Jon did with you. That means that while your brother will grow, you will have to learn how to read, so that you can teach him yourself and read to him."
Jace nodded eagerly.
"Will he have an egg?" He asked, when his mother nodded, he added: "Can I choose it for him?"
Again she laughed, everything was so much simpler with her sons by her side.
"Of course you can."
Jace let out a small cry of victory, quickly shushed by his mother who did not want her eldest to wake up her youngest.
Jacaerys put his hands to his mouth in shame, Rhaenyra smiled at him and kissed his forehead to forgive him.
They fell into a comfortable silence after this. The mother rocking the youngest while her eldest was lying against her shoulder, hypnotized by his brother's sleeping face. For the first time in a while, the Realm's Delight felt as if she was living a perfect life. Her father would soon arrive to rejoice at the birth, then Jon, then perhaps even Laenor. It was a happy day, a day that had started with blood, tears and pain, and that would end peacefully, no one could possibly disturb this wonderful moment.
"Why's my hair brown?" Jace asked, breaking his mother's fantasy with the most innocent tone there ever was or would be.
Rhaenyra swallowed a lump, she needed to slow her heartbeat down and keep her smile in order to protect her eldest from her own worries. This was her burden to carry, not his.
"Why do you ask?"
Jace took a moment to think, then he looked at his fingers.
"Nuncle Jon, Grandfather, Father, Aegon, Helaena, Aemond, you, even baby Daeron and now… Lucerys…" He folded a finger after each name. "Why is everyone's hair silver, but mine is brown?"
"Well… Jace…" She said, trying to gain some time to come up with an excuse. But her boy's pressing eyes did nothing to ease her anxiousness, at least she managed to keep on smiling. She considered telling him of Rhaenys, his official Grandmother with her Baratheon hair, but then she remembered that it was Rhaenys who had manipulated Jonothor in order to force her to have Laenor's child. She did not want to give Jace an excuse to run after his alleged grandmother. She could not anticipate the words that hag would say to her precious boy. So, she chose a different explanation, the one Jonothor had come up with after Jace's birth:
"You see, sometimes, when a child is born, his colors are not the same as the ones of its family, it is rare, but it happens."
"Really?"
"Yes." She answered a bit too quickly. "It is something that happens with animals as well. You see, it is rare, but sometimes, a black stallion and a black mare can sire a white animals and children, are called 'albinos'"
Jace's brown eyes shone in wonder and he put his head back on his mother's shoulder with renewed interest in his little brother.
Rhaenyra slowly exhaled, allowing relief to flow through her body. As Jace was quietly trying to properly pronounce the word 'albino', she put a protective arm around her eldest' shoulders and kissed his brown head.
"I will protect you."She thought, hiding her stress behind a wall of motherly instincts."No one will touch you, you are a Targaryen, the Blood of the Dragon. That is all that matters, all that matters."
She remembered Harwin Strong, his body, his scent, his smile, she remembered having him inside of her, how reassuring his presence had been during her pregnancy and all the trials that came with it. Then, she remembered how he had died and a wave of sadness washed over her. She swallowed any tear that had threatened to form in her eyes. She was the blood of the Dragon and she had shed enough tears for her lover's death.
Yet… She never forgot how horrible and unnatural his death had been.
How seventeen dogs had come out of the night and massacred the strongest knight in all the Seven Kingdoms, how they had butchered his face, his throat… and his manhood.
A chill ran along Rhaenyra's spine. The dogs who had owners had belonged to beggars, the others had been strays who had barely enough meat and teeth to eat scraps from Flea Bottom's trash, they had not even been strong enough to hunt rats. Yet, they had all attacked the same man at the exact same moment. Rhaenyra did not believe that Harwin had been at the wrong place at the wrong time, no, someone had caused his demise. Someone… or something unnatural.
(-)(-)(-)
Truth be told, it was easier to deal with an intoxicated child than an adult, especially if you had the King's blessing to do so.
With the help of Ser Criston and Ser Erryk, Jonothor had taken Aegon under his wing and prevented him from drinking any more milk of the poppy. His twin had protested, defended himself, thrashed as much as he could, but he was defenseless against the two kingsguards. And more worrying, Aegon was still afraid of his twin.
When Jon had entered Aegon's chambers without warning that he had returned, the youngest had jumped from his bed in fear, and had tried to stay as far away from Jonothor as he could by pressing himself against the wall. Jon had taken a deep breath, and narrowed his purple eyes at his brother.
"You are not escaping this Aegon, Father has tasked me to detoxify you and put you back in shape. So make it easy for the both of us and come with me. If you refuse, you won't be getting any milk of the poppy and you will remain in your chambers drowning in your own self-pity with no food. Now quit being a coward and come with me."
Aegon had not come, so Jon had had to entrust the surveillance of that chamber to Ser Erryk, who prevented the youngest twin from escaping his room when the latter had tried to get himself milk of the poppy. When Aegon had raged, gesticulated and screamed, Jon had a bucket of water poured over his face and when that failed to calm him down, he dragged his brother to the nearest bath and forced his head in water until the latter's temper had cooled.
After many efforts from Jon and his kingsguards, Aegon had finally realized he would not escape his brother's evil plan. He had been starved, exhausted and in pain, but Jonothor would hear none of it. He forced his twin to join him in the training yard, armed him with a blunt sword and shield, and commanded Aegon to attack him.
Aegon had not moved, his knees had shook in terror, his eyes had widened in fear. Jon had felt bad, Aegon was an actual nine year old, and he had traumatized him, had turned him into a wreck. His twin was his biggest failure in his second life, and it was his duty to fix him if their father would not.
"Attack." Jon had said. "Attack or I'll break each of your limbs."
It had worked, out of pure fear, Aegon had clumsily charged at him. His form was sloppy, his grip was wrong due to the phantom pain of the injury Jon had inflicted upon him. But what had truly concerned Ghost's rider, was the sheer terror on his twin's pale face.
He had blocked the hit easily.
"Stop fearing me, Aegon."
That had been stupid. So he had changed tactics.
"You wanna hate me? Go on, hate me! Hate me because I'm better than you, hate me because you will never be as good as me, hate me because you will always be the second born, I don't care!"
Silence had fallen on the training yard, until a fire had lit in the eyes of the youngest twin, with a roar, Aegon had charged at Jonothor once again and unleashed the most furious blows he had ever delivered.
"I hate you!" Aegon had screamed, trying to beat his twin to pieces. "I hate you! I hate you!"
Jon had disarmed his brother after he had managed to block each of the latter's blows. Fear had instantly returned in Aegon's purple gaze, he had paled, expecting to receive a proper beating, but Jon had simply picked the sword and handed it to his twin.
"I don't care." Jon had said, and they spared again, and again, and again, for weeks and moons.
Jonothor Targaryen had not lied, he truly did not care if his brother hated him. He genuinely did not know how to deal with Aegon, but he also did not want to rob him of his life, so he would fix his mistakes, make a man out of his brother, and deal with any consequences afterwards. It was not perfect, it would come back to bite him in the arse, he knew that. When what else could he do? Kill him? No man was safe from hatred, Jon would just have to suffer a brother that hated him from the rest of his life, it was a better number than the dozens that had hated him at the Wall in his previous life. At least, now, he knew where the danger could potentially come from.
After one of those noisy and brutal training sessions with his twin, Jon went to bath before lunch, but a page had rushed to whisper in his ear that his mother wished to see him. Sighing, he put away the training swords, bid Ser Erryk and Aegon good day, ignored his twin's snarl and climbed the stairs to his mother's personal chambers.
Queen Alicent and her heavy pregnant belly were waiting for him by the window, just like her first born, she was prone to melancholy, wearing a sad face whenever she thought people were not paying attention to her or whenever she was alone, but when they crossed eyes as Jon entered, they both smiled.
"How is your brother?" She asked.
"He's getting his reflexes back, his grip is better, as well as his blows… I'm confident he'll be back in shape in a matter of weeks, he has a purpose now."
"What kind of purpose?"
"I don't know." Jon half-lied.
In truth, Jonothor did not know if his twin wanted to kill him, humiliate him, beat him, or all three.
His mother sighed and went to kneel in front of her son to capture him in her arms, Jon melted in her embrace and sighed loudly against her shoulder.
"You always know when I need a hug." He whispered in relief.
"Of course I do, silly, I am your mother."
The only one he ever had or ever needed, Jon would never forget.
"Is the babe all right?" He asked, putting a hand on the Queen's belly.
"He is far calmer than his siblings have been." She said with a mischievous smile. "My four other children could learn a lot from that one."
Jon smiled and took his time to relax.
They remained like this for a few minutes, then Alicent invited to sit in a green velvet armchair while she went to sit in a golden one.
"Rhaenyra has given birth this morning." She said with a smile, though her voice remained neutral. "She has named your nephew 'Lucerys'."
Jon smiled brightly at that, though he suspected his mother had not summoned to tell him that. He would have learn it anyway, and she would have summoned all of his siblings if she truly wanted to share such a good news herself.
"That is wonderful, news, I hope Rhaenyra is all right."
"It is, and contrary to his brother, Lucerys looks like a full-blooded Valyrian… Which I found surprising."
Jon tried to remain expressionless, but his mother knew him far too well. She slightly narrowed her eyes.
"Why did you find it surprising?"
Playing dumb was a stupid move, Alicent saw right through him and lined her mouth.
"Jonothor Targaryen.I'll have you know, I have known Rhaenyra since long before you were born, no one has ever managed to make her do something she did not want to do, except you. So tell me, is this child true born?"
Jon held back his breath for a few seconds, then sighed to concede defeat, he could never lie to his mother.
"He is. I made sure of that."
A long moment of silence passed, Alicent looked baffled, wondering how her nine year old son had managed such a feat.
"What did you do?"
Her tone was soft, filled with concern, motherly… and worried.
"I told Rhaenyra that she did not need a man's… manhood, just his seed."
Alicent's eyes widened in dismay, dismay that was not directed at her boy, but at her stepdaughter. The Queen could not even begin to imagine how Rhaenyra had managed to get pregnant using only a man's seed. And even if she did, was the Princess going to rely on her boy for the rest of her life? Can't she do the right thing by herself without abusing the love a child has for her?
In the end, she sighed in exhaustion to ease her anger, Jonothor had done right by his family, she just hated that he was needed for such things, he was the best of them and Rhaenyra needed him to do a duty as simple as that.
At least, now, she had a true born child, but that brought other complications.
"Our family does not deserve you, Jonothor." She whispered with a strange mix of sadness and pride.
Jon instantly got up from the armchair and went into his mother's arms. Alicent smiled, it appeared that her firstborn knew her as well as she knew him.
"That is not true." He said. "You deserve me and more, mother. I love you."
A bright smile of relief and a few tears of joy appeared on the Queen's happy face. She held her eldest tighter.
"Jonothor." She whispered. "You do realize that, even though it is good that your sister has finally a true born child of her own, things will get more complicated for Jacaerys."
Jon unintentionally gripped his mother's clothes and gritted his teeth, he did not want to think of that, today was supposed to be a happy day, a new Prince was born, couldn't this wait until tomorrow?
"It'll be fine." He lied. "Jacaerys will be protected…"
"Jon…" His mother cut him. "Jacaerys will be surrounded by silver-haired siblings, cousins, aunts and uncles. He will be the only one with brown hair and eyes. He will ask questions, once he is old enough, he will realize what he is and you won't be able to protect him from himself."
Alicent's words, though they were said with a gentle and caring tone, twisted a knife in her son's heart. He exhaled to keep his temper under control.
"It'll be fine." He repeated.
"It could have been, had Jace not been Rhaenyra's heir." She whispered, rubbing his hair. "But no one is blind to his true nature, soon, the lords will start wondering why they should crown the only bastard in our family instead of one of the true born of them could go as far as to try to have him killed."
Jon did not answer, his mother was right, of course she was. And it infuriated him. Jace was an innocent babe! Why should he suffer for the mistakes of his parents? His father had paid already, no more blood needed to be shed.
"I will protect him." He said, and this was not a lie.
Alicent opened her mouth to protest, to tell him that he would put himself in danger, but she quickly closed it, knowing that this was useless. She knew her son better than anyone, whenever Jonothor said he would do something, then he would do it. Especially if it meant defending his family. He could be as stubborn as his half-sister, but always for the good reasons.
So she simply held him closer, allowing him to burry his worries in her embrace, which he did. However, as he hugged his mother with all his might, Jon felt the sibling in her belly kicking, as if to remind him that he would soon have another family member to protect. He sighed, it seemed his task was getting harder every day.
(-)(-)(-)
His conversation with his mother had costed him a lot more energy than his spares with Aegon. Jon did not dine with his family this evening, he simply had something brought from the kitchens and had planed to bath and eat quickly before going to bed. But an unexpected visitor came to knock at his door. When he opened it, the joyful face of his nephew was there to greet him with Ser Steffon behind him. He struggled to put on his most genuine smile, trying to bury the talk he had with his mother and the emotions that had went through him since then.
"Hello Jace, are you happy to be a big brother?"
"Yes!" The little boy almost screamed in joy. "Can I come in?"
Jonothor was exhausted, but he did not want to disappoint his nephew, so he took a step to the side to allow him in. They both went to sit on the bed once the door was closed.
"So, how is your brother?"
"Small." Jace answered. "And pwetty! But he is not an albino, like me."
Jon cringed at those words but managed to maintain his smiling face.
"No, he is not. You are…" He hated himself for saying those words. "You are very special, Jace."
His nephew's smile brightened even more and he hugged his uncle tightly, this tender gesture twisted the knife in Jonothor's heart even more, Gods, it was hard.
"Mother said that she had once seen an albino foal." Jace said. "Have you seen it?"
"No… but I… well, I have seen an albino d… wolf."
Jace rose his head.
"Really?"
"Yes." He swallowed a lump trying to control his anguish. "I have seen a full litter of wolf pups a long time ago, each of them was gray, brown or black, but one of them was white as snow. It's white fur was so unnatural for a wolf, I don't think I have ever seen a fur as white as this one since then."
"But I have seen scales."
Jacaerys frowned.
"Am I unnatural?"
"No! I mean… no, albinism is very natural Jace, it was the fur's color that had astounded me, it was pure white. That was what I meant. You came out of your mother's womb just like your brother, you are as natural as he. You simply do not have the same color."
Jace looked sad for a second, and Jon feared he had gotten confused in his explanations.
"I don't think I like being an albino." He said. "I wish I had silver hair, like you, mother and Luke."
"So do I, Jace, so do I."
"But then, you would not be as special as you are, would you Jace?" Jon said aloud, ruffling his brown curls.
Jacaerys giggled a little, yet his uncle saw a bit of sadness in his eyes.
"What is it?"
"I think Father likes Luke more than he likes me." The soon to be four year old said. "He did not look at me the same he looked at Luke."
Jon frowned in disgust and anger, Laenor Velaryon was the last person who had the right to complain about Jace's looks. After all, Jace had brown curls because Seasmoke's rider had been unable to perform and had encouraged his wife to find herself a lover. Luke's existence was the result of Rhaenys' threat and Jon's ability to convince Rhaenyra. Laenor had only spilled his seed in a vial, what right did he have to act as if Jace was a mistake?
"Your father is an idiot." Jon said with genuine disdain. "Just like mine, we need to be better fathers when our time come to take those responsibilities. Can you promise to be better Jace?"
"I will!" The boy instantly promised, happy to be told that it was not his fault. "I will be a great father."
" That's good." Jon chuckled. "But first, you need to be a great brother for Luke."
"I will be that too!I promise!"
Jon ruffled his hair one more time and gave him a hug, he did his best to keep his emotions buried as his nephew little arms found their way around his neck.
"Good boy." Jonothor said, swallowing his anguish and holding the child whose father he had murdered, close. "Good boy…"
AN: Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter! Now it is finally time for another timeskip ;).
To read early
Chapter 17: 'The Boy who loved his family'
Chapter 18: 'Dragons, Dreams and Children'
Chapter 19: 'Lovely loving sisters."
Chapter 20: 'The Duty of a Prince'
Chapter 21: 'Tormented Dragons'
Chapter 22: 'A Dragon has many desires'
Chapter 23: 'Powerless'
Chapter 24: 'Drowning'
Chapter 25: 'A Dragon's Dream'
Chapter 26: 'A Sweet Time'
Chapter 27: 'The Heart of a Little Girl'
Chapter 28: 'Between four walls'
Chapter 29: 'Joffrey'
Chapter 30: 'Ruin'
Chapter 31: 'The Sea takes its due'
Chapter 32: 'An Eye for an Eye'
Chapter 33: 'Aftermath'
Chapter 34: 'Bad Blood'
Chapter 35: 'Aegon'
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