"Oi, break it up!" Came a voice of an angry, blond-haired scrawny figure. "Eh?" Two of the kids looked slowly to the figure, "The scrawny freak decided to play hero?" They smirked menacingly.
Toshinori gritted his teeth, "That's enough! Leave that boy alone!"
One of the boys, Mashashi, approached him, murdering glare shot towards Toshinori, "What if I don't want to?"The scrawny boy was frozen, not being able to move from the spot, fear overtaking him. Mashashi snickered, "Cat got your tongue, Toshi?"
Toshinori clenched his fist, regaining his composure, "You will not harm the boy..."
The boy was, of course, a first-year student at the school, while Toshinori and the 'menacing' bullies were a second-year.
"That boy is a worthless, quirkless freak, just like you are, Toshi. I don't even know if both of you are humans at all!" Masashi replied, his grinning face shatters Toshinori's bravery for a second.
Mezo, the other bully, continued, "Your kind should've been exterminated, leaving society with only us, the higher class of humans, to live in peace, without worthless weaklings like you and that freak child running around and wasting our oxygen!"
Toshinori gritted his teeth, "He is just as much as a human as you are!" he cried out, "Quirkless doesn't mean worthless, and it's sure as hell doesn't mean POWERLESS!" He bursted in rage, before punching Masashi in the face, causing him to fall on his back.
"EHHHHH?!" Masashi yelled in surprise. Toshinori knew he stood no chance against the boy, so he ran and quickly grabbed the boy by his hand, "Hold tight!"
The boy was crying as Toshinori held his tight, running away from the bullies. "Hey! Chase him!" Mezo ordered, before he was followed by Masashi.
Toshinori growled, before grabbing a nearby trashcan and spread it all over the floor, blocking their way. They retaliated, doing a parkour-like move, avoiding the obstacle easily.
Shit! Toshinori cursed in his mind, before exiting the school from the school yard, running as fast as he can to get the boy to safety, They said they want to be heroes, yet they act like this...is that even how heroes act? Oh yes, quirks... it's ridiculous how a person's value is often determined how strong their quirk is.Toshinori overthought, while still running from the bullies, "Oi, quirkless freaks! Come here, before I demolish you!" Masashi yelled.
Toshinori felt pain when something hard hit his back. It was a large rock. Toshinori felt something crack behind him, but he ignored it, and kept running.
Meanwhile, the boy was still crying, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't know that being a worthless freak such as myself will cause you so much trouble! Please, let me go, I don't want to cause trouble-"
"Hush, it's no trouble. Just keep running, I promise, those boys will not hurt you anymore." Toshinori reassured, still running as fast as he can.
Toshinori found two trashcan in front of him, before bringing both of it down, blocking the bullies path again.
This time, they struggled to avoid the obstacle, as Masashi tripped over the last trashcan, falling down to the ground and the impact left a bruise on his head, "DAMN YOUUUUUU!"
Toshinori growled under his breath, These idiots are not heroes at all. THEY'RE ACTING LIKE A BUNCH OF VILLAINS!
While the pedestrians was startled by the sudden chase, Toshinori didn't mind it. All that matters is drawing those kids away from the poor quirkless boy.
Toshinori chose the route of a nearby alley, avoiding public attention. The place was cramped, but at this point, he was desperate to draw those boys away.
"HEYYYY! WE'RE NOT DONE YETTTT!" Came the voice of Mezo, followed by Masashi, both of them panting in exhaustion. "Tch, are they really that desperate to torment the boy?!" Toshinori said to no one in particular, his tone rising.
Toshinori came to a horrifying realisation when the path he took was a dead end. He slowly looked back, before looking at the two boys, cracking their knuckles, "Well, well, well, looks like we ain't beating one quirkless freak only, but two! What a bonus, beating you parasites will be satisfying!" Masashi said, licking his lips, his expression terrifying the poor first-year student.
Both of the students manifested their quirks, having a murderous intention. Mezo turned his face into that of a snake, while Masashi began to grow fur out of his body, as well as claws coming out of his hands.
"You're dead, Toshi!" Mezo threatened, his fist tightened, snake-like tongue coming out of his mouth, as if to threat him.. Toshinori put himself in front of the boy, determined to protect him. He closed his eyes, before letting out a small chuckle.
"What's so funny, eh, quirkless Toshi?!" Mezo asked again, his tone louder. Toshinori sighed, "You know, I always dreamed of being a hero..." He opened his eyes, glaring at the bullies, "A hero that have the ability to beat stereotypical jerks like you in one punch, quirk or not."
Hearing what the scrawny kid said, Masashi glared at him harder, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING A JERK?!"
Toshinori grimaced, "You. You have what it takes to be a jerk. You're so focused on yourself, that you neglect the feelings of others. Is that what you want to be? Is that the kind of hero you aspire to be?"
"EH?!" Masashi yelled, before punching Toshinori in the face, causing him to wince in pain, "Don't lecture us about this! You don't know jack shit about what it means to be a hero! Not a quirkless scum like you!"
"Toshi-san!" The kid yelled in concern. Toshinori rubbed his cheeks in pain, before looking back at the boy, giving him a thumbs up and a reassuring smile, "It'll be fine kid. I AM HERE."
"Acting like a hero even though you're quirkless. You're so hopeless." Mezo insulted, before launching himself towards Toshinori at high-speed, biting into his neck, causing Toshinori to scream in pain.
Mezo removed himself from Toshi's neck, which bled profusely. "Toshi-san!" The boy screamed again, rushing to his saviour's side.
Toshinori growled, "Urgh... don't be scared kid...stay back..." he finished, still holding his wounded neck.
The boy however, refused, "Please don't push yourself...I don't want to burden you, or anyone! Run.. I..I still can-"
"You're talking nonsense, kid, stay back." Toshinori said in a weak voice, clenching his fist. He threw a punch, but Mezo reacted fast, before hitting him in the guts, "A useless endeavor. Pathetic. What do I expect from a quirkless reject." Toshi fell into the ground, struggling to stand.
Masashi laughed at the comment, before shredding some of Toshinori's clothes with his claws, but some of the claws shredded Toshinori's skin, causing it to bleed.
Toshinori yelped, holding his chest which was bleeding. He struggled to stand up. He have to. For... Toshinori looked at the kid, before smiling, For the kid...
He was kicked in the face again, falling to his back. "Scrawny freak!" Mezo yelled, before stomping on the blond teen chest multiple times.
"Stop it.. please..." The boy pleaded, his tears still fresh. Toshinori coughed another blood, which pains the boy's heart even more. He thinks that all of this happened because of him, his fault for being quirkless, for being a part of the minority, for being so weak.
The boy cried even more, "STOPPPP ITTTT!"
Both of the bullies looked at him, before saying, "Wait for your turn first, quirkless reject."
The boy replied, "If you want to beat someone, beat me! I'm a coward, a worthless piece of crap while he..." The boy pointed at Toshinori, who widened his eyes in shock, "He's a true hero..."
Toshinori was about to open his mouth, but was shut down quickly when Mezo launched another kick towards the blond teen, this time, caused a nosebleed.
"A true hero?! Don't make me fucking laugh!" Mezo shouted, while laughing lightly. Masashi added, "You're looking for true heroes, quirkless reject?! You're looking straight into the eyes of them. Not him. He's weak, pathetic, won't even make it in society."
The boy's tear was inevitable. He looked at them, "You're wrong...even though he's quirkless.. he's acting like a hero, a true hero...while you both...you don't act like one.." The boy bluntly said, before realising his blunder.
The bullies was enraged, but Toshinori forced himself to stand, "NO! DON'T!"
But before they can retaliate, a voice from outside of the alley called out, "That's enough playtime, Mezou, Masashi."
Both of the bullies looked back, before sighing in exasperation, "Dad! We were just about to-"
"Don't make me say it twice. These quirkless idiots aren't worth our family time. Get back here, Mezou, Masashi." The supposed father called again.
Ah yes, of course they're both siblings.
"FINE!" Both siblings simultaneous said, before running off to their parent. Masashi, however, took a last glance towards Toshinori, before saying, "This ain't over in a long-shot. I'll kill you both some other time." He said, before storming off.
Toshinori sighed in relief, before approaching the boy, smiling at him, "That was unfortunate...was it?" Toshinori said, while laughing sheepishly.
The boy tear up, before rushing to him, embracing Toshinori in a warm hug, crying to his shoulder. "There, there, let it all out.." Toshinori comforted him.
Toshinori looked to the sky, before frowning. While it is true that men are not created equally, I'll show them someday. Quirkless... doesn't equal powerless. I will show them. I can beat any villain, anyone, with only a single punch, and I'll do anything to achieve it. ANYTHING! I will be the strongest hero on earth!
OPENING SEQUENCE
ONE PUNCH MAN - OPENING 1 - PLAYS
The screen was black, before a fist formed in fire, slowly coming towards the screen.
As the fist slowly fades, a figure of masculine appeared. The man was dressed in a red hero costume, white circles and lines circulating it's surface, a white cape hugging his hips, a yellow belt, a pant same to the colour of his upper body, a red shoe, and a red gauntlet.
Toshinori slowly turned his head towards the camera, forming a fist on one of his hand, before launching it towards the screen.
The screen blacked, before showing Toshinori walking towards multiple threats and dangers.
Toshinori was seen walking amidst a desert, but the scene changed to that of a snowy mountain, before changing into a place of hellfire, a monster with the features of a giant bird emerging to consume him. Toshinori walked through them all like they were nothing.
Toshinori was seen leaping above the city, beating any villains on sight with only a single punch, blowing them away into oblivion. He landed on the ground, crushing the rubble beneath his palm.
Toshinori was seen leaping above the city, day turned into dead night, while a storm of lightning came into his way, threatening to end his life, but he brushed the impact away like it's nothing.
While Toshinori landed on the ground, he went pushed his fist onward, as the screen turned into a slow motion.
The next scene showed Toshinori walking through a wasteland, before stepping his final foot into the front, clenching his fist, glaring at his upcoming enemies with his shadowed eyes.
Many enemies came straight towards him, but he blew them apart like they were nothing with a single punch, before preparing his final attack to the final enemies that were coming at him from behind, obliterating them with a consecutive punch, and also blowing the mountain behind them, splitting it apart.
Toshinori then was seen leaping into the air, flailing his arms around as his cape fluttered in the wind, before punching the gigantic fist that were aimed at him followed by an explosion, and many other instances of him blowing a monster apart.
A man with robotic arms came to the scene, with also two other characters appearing in front of him, one is a female with a black bodysuit and a white cape, the other is a white-haired man, wearing a white suit and a yellow cape behind his back.
The screen turned black, before zooming onto Toshinori, who turned his head to the camera.
Toshinori prepared his fist, before pushing it onward to the sky, causing a massive explosion with his punch alone, as the screen transited to him walking away with two bags of groceries.
One and a half year later...
Toshinori placed his bag behind his chair, sitting on it immediately. It was minutes before homeroom started.
Masashi and Mezou sat to one another, while Toshinori was the only one in the class who sat alone. School wasn't going so well though.
After homeroom, Toshinori was being teased and mocked by the teachers for being quirkless. Of course, Toshinori ignored it. They have no idea, have no idea what sort of training he went through...
It might sound ridiculous but...it was like this..
100 SIT-UPS!
100 PUSH-UPS!
100 SQUATS!
10 KILOMETRES RUNNING!
EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Another piece of his hair fell down. Toshinori picked it up and sighed, "Jeez..." before throwing it into the nearest trashcan outside.
His life as a vigilante wasn't too exciting either. It so happens, that his training turned him into a monster. A monster that ends fight with only a single blow, he might as well accidentally killed one of the villains if he's not careful enough. The training was odd, so odd that it turned him to be this powerful.
Masashi eyed him suspiciously, but brushed it off and paid attention to the class.
Toshinori scratched his neck as he went to the page that his teacher told him to open. He wasn't focusing on the study, as he was too stunned by his sudden increase in strength.
If he was to become the strongest hero, then this may be his chance. He needs to continue the training regime no matter what.
The class ended, and it was lunch break. Toshinori stood up, grabbing whatever's left of his yen's on his pocket. He sat in the cafetaria, before joined by Mezo and Masashi.
Toshinori really didn't want to fight. It has been long that he hasn't shown his power yet, at least it was not necessary. Everyone still believes that he's the same weak, quirkless Toshinori.
Is it bargain sale yet? Toshinori thought, but brushed it off. Nah, not yet. He stared at the cafetaria food for a while, before a voice beside him called out, "Oi, quirkless reject, get the fuck out of my way!"
Toshinori stared at Masashi blankly, before deciding to ignore him. "Are ya ignoring me?!" Masashi yelled at his ears, but Mezo stopped him, "Just shut the fuck up for a bit, I ain't in the mood for this shit."
"Why are you defending him, big bro?!" Masashi asked, but Mezo replied, "Who said anything about defending?" he smirked, "I just ain't in the mood for now, the quirkless piece of shit can learn how much of a piece of shit he is later."
"Hey, you're lucky my bro is not in the mood, scrawny freak! Go and sulk in your comfort zone for now." Masashi mocked. Toshinori stared at him blankly, replying with a simple, "Oh, kay." before taking a bite from the bowl of rice in front of him.
Assholes.
He thought, before taking another bite. He drank the sake besides him, before putting it down and taking another bite. Boring. He thought.
Gaining strength from training alone. That doesn't make sense. This is not what he expected at all. A quirkless person like him, gaining super-strength beyond capabilities of a normal human- quirkless human being. What sort of fucked up fantasy world did he enter?
He was snapped out of his own thoughts when the TV in the cafetaria turned on.
Recently, a villain calling itself the 'Vaccine Man' is running havoc on Musutafu. All citizens are to remain idle in their homes until the pro-heroes resolved this.
Toshinori dropped his spoon, before standing up, "Guess I'll go." before speeding up and rushed out of the cafetaria in an insanely fast pace, that no one even noticed his disappearance, not even Mezo and Masashi.
Chapter 2: Boring Day
Chapter 2: Boring Day
Another chapter for you to enjoy! I certainly hope this will turn out good!
Musutafu..
Toshinori couldn't even be bothered slowing down due to the traffics. He sped up so fast, the wind blew the pedestrians that walked at the sidewalks.
Toshinori stopped at the sight of smoke rising from the buildings, before seeing what caused such scene. A purple-skinned, muscled antenna creature standing over the ruckus.
He widened his eyes when he heard a girl cry among the rubble. "Mommy! Daddy! Help! Someone!" She cried, her tears drowning her cheeks. The villain didn't seem to care, before reaching out to murder her, "A human...an unsightly creature. Die then."
But before the girl could meet her demise, Toshinori sped up and got the girl out of harm's way. The girl was startled, seeing her saviour up close. He looked like a middle-schooler, his blonde hair was his most memorable feature.
"The hell are you, and what the fuck are you doing!?" The creature asked, his tone rising. Toshinori stood up in front of the girl, before announcing himself, "Just an average guy, trying to save people from villains like you."
The creature laughed, "What an half-assed setting! Behold! I am the apostle of mother earth! Humans have stained this world since their emergence as the top of the food chain! I was created by the pollutions your pitiful race, and so, mother earth summoned me forth to bring an end to your kind for staining her! And so, I, Vaccine-man, WILL-!"
Toshinori let out a loud yawn before replying rudely, "Yeah, right, can we skip the 'oh-so-evil' monologue and get to the point? I have a class waiting for me and I really don't want to be late."
Vaccine man let out a growl, before responding, "Who said that you will leave this place unscathed?!"
Toshinori scratched his head, "Well, I mean, no offense, you probably will go down by a single blow again, as much as boring as that sounds, and as much as I hate to admit." he gazed on the villain again.
"Who do you think you are?! I am Vaccine man, and I will not let an insolent human such as yourself bringing disrespect to-?!" The creature was cut off when Toshinori launched his fist towards the creature, blowing him and his body away, as his insides fell on the ground, green liquid falling from the sky.
Toshinori gasped, he just killed someone! Ah...shimatta. He was sure as hell holding back his strength back there, not as much as before but still, he just thought the creature was very promising, due to his bulked up feature.
He's fucked. Very fucked. Apart from breaking the laws of using his quirk- wait actually, he has no quirk, but whatever, he'll just call it as it is. But still, he broke the rules of doing heroic deeds without a license, on top of the sprinkles of 'murdering villains'.
Suddenly, Toshinori remembered that the creature claimed himself to be some sort of force of nature, so he's...not a human. Toshinori waved these thoughts away dismissively, before looking back at the girl and said, "You should probably go to the nearest police department, or find any pro-heroes. Sorry I couldn't be more of assistance, but I'm going to be late if I stay here any longer. See ya!" Toshinori rushed himself out of the scene, running faster than the eye could perceive.
Meanwhile...
Nana Shimura, a not-so-popular pro-hero, arrived at the scene with her best friend, Sorahiko Torino, better known as Gran Torino.
She inspected the scene, and jeez, it stinks. Green liquid, or blood? was everywhere, as well as...yuck. "Okay, this day has been a mess, but who did this?" Nana asked her companion.
"Beats me. What's important though.." Sorahiko pointed to the still frozen girl in front of them, "A survivor."
Nana quickly approached the girl, before asking, "Hey, kid, what are you doing here? Where's your parents?"
The girl slowly tilted her head at Nana, with one of the most traumatized expression she has ever seen. Whoever did this was that much of an idiot to murder a villain outrightly in front of a child.
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Wait, murder?!
Back at Aldera Junior High...
"Heeeey, Toshinori-kun!" A younger voice called out, snapping Toshinori back to reality. He has been staring at his rice for a long time, overthinking about what he just did earlier.
Toshinori looked back, only to see the kid that he had saved from the bullies a year and a half ago. His name was Genos Akira, who moved from a first-year student into a second-year recently.
"Ah, yes, hi there, Genos-san.. how's class?" Toshinori asked with a delightful expression. Genos responded, "Boring. As always."
"You should pay attention, though..." Toshinori reminded.
"I know, I just can't help it...I prefer hanging out with you at lunch break!" Genos bluntly said. Toshinori slapped his own forehead, before replying, "You want to be a hero, right? If you fail the final exam this year, you might not be able to achieve just that."
Genos gave him an elbow bump, before laughing, "That thing is miles away, c'mon, Toshinori-kun.."
"More like weeks away.." Toshinori rolled his eyes as he took another bite from the bowl of rice.
Genos took a sit next to Toshinori, much to Masashi and Mezo's annoyance, but they weren't in the mood for it.
Toshinori looked to the bullies, then back to Genos. He remembered that day...
"Thank you, um...Toshi..san.."
"You can call me Toshinori." Toshinori said through his bloodied, battered mouth. "What's your name?"
The younger kid replied, "Um..Genos...Akira Genos..."
Toshinori coughed another blood, before saying, "Nice to meet you, Akira-san."
"I..." Genos paused, before saying, "You're badly hurt...may I-?"
"It's fine, kid. I deal with this on a daily basis. This is just a walk in the park." Toshinori reassured, before standing up, coughing more blood.
"B- but you don't look fine at all!" Genos yelled, "At least let me take you to my house! My parents can help!"
Toshinori shook his head, "I said it's fine, don't worry about me." He walked away, "Take care, kid." before disappearing out of sight. Before Genos can realise, multiple sirens are on their way to his location.
Toshinori called the police when they both were cornered by the bullies.
Toshinori tensed up, before relaxing himself, not wanting to cause further trouble. He then looked at Genos, "Have you eaten, by the way?"
Genos replied, "Huh? Oh! No, no I haven't..."
Toshinori raised his brow in confusion, "Eh? Why? Going to class in an empty stomach is not the brightest idea."
"Well, you see..." Genos scratched his head in embarrassment, replying, "I forgot to bring a lunch money..."
Toshinori paused for a second, before giving the younger kid's back a hard pat, "Why didn't you say so?!" He laughed, causing Genos to blush in embarrassment, "Well, you don't have to, Tos-"
"Nonsense! I'll order you something!" Toshinori then called to the person who cooks for the lunch break. Genos laughed to himself, feeling lucky that he has such a kind upperclassmen.
A few hours later, after school...
Toshinori walked the streets, finding it to be very alive. School went pretty well, Masashi and Mezo weren't bothering him miraculously, nor did they bothered Genos.
Best day ever. Toshinori silently smirked to himself, looking down as he walked. But suddenly, he passed a bank in robbery, villains inside taking hostages and demanding for the police force to leave them alone and take the money away in peace.
Toshinori sighed, I take my words back. Before disappearing out of sight instantly due to his insane speed.
Inside the bank...
"Everyone, shut the fuck up!" A man with a pain inducing quirk said, "Utter one more word," He grabbed a grandma from the circle, pushing his hand to the the poor elder's arm, causing her to yelp in pain, "This will happen to you. Trust me, my quirk isn't pretty!"
"Why are you threatening them with your useless quirk instead of your weapon? What a farce." One of the other robbers remarked, still holding his machine gun.
"He just wants to show off."
"O- oi... I was just-" The pain-inducing quirked robber cut himself off, before pushing the elder woman back to the circle, before pointing his handgun at her, "Alright, fuck it, since he pissed me off, I'll just take your life as a compensation instead."
The elderly woman was afraid, before the robber shot his gun at her direction. But suddenly, a great force of wind brushed against him, revealing a person standing in front of the elder woman.
The person was a young man with a blonde hair. The middle-schooler brushed the bullet off his school uniform, sighing, "Damn, I wonder if there's a discount for a new school uniform."
He then turned his head to the robber who was going to shoot the poor grandma.
"Oi! Who the fuck are you?! A hero?! Don't interfere and I'll let you walk away!" He threatened.
Toshinori snorts, before speaking, "I didn't know you people have no respect for the elderly. I mean, come on.." He looked back to the whimpering grandma, "Look at her! She's so damn innocent! And you were seconds away from turning her into a-"
Another shot was heard. The bullet hit Toshinori's head straight away. He shook his head, removing the bullet from his blonde hair.
He slowly tilted his head towards the robber, "It's rude to interrupt people."
Another robber, who was equipped with a machine-gun, took over and screamed, "You've been a pain in our ass for long enough, you blond freak!" Before shooting at the direction of Toshinori.
Toshinori widened his eyes, realising that the bullets could very well kill the hostages behind him. These men aren't thinking clearly!
He immediately reacted in insane speed, catching all the bullets that the robbers threw at him with ease. As seconds passes by, the robbers were out of bullets, and immediately went for their clips to reload their weapons respectively.
Oh, no you don't! Toshinori went at high speed, disarming each of the robbers from their weapons, knocking each unconscious with a chop to each of their necks.
He appeared in front of the hostages in high speed, speaking in a docile demeanour, "So, uh, yup! You're all...safe!" He lifted a thumbs up. Yeah, no kidding, I'm bad at this.
Toshinori found himself warmed at the gratitude of the hostages. He suddenly realised something critical while the hostages were thanking him, and that is...THE POLICE IS STILL OUTSIDE! SHIT!
"Oh yeah, guys, I gotta go, otherwise I'm screwed." Toshinori apologetically said, before preparing to rush out of the bank.
But before he can do that, he was stopped by a feminine voice behind him, "Oh, wait! Wait!"
Toshinori sighed, before looking back, "Look, I know I did some crazy stuff back there, but if you want to ask me about my quirk or if I'm a hero, save i-"
"No! Not at all! I just...uh, we went to the same school, did we? I noticed from your most memorable feature, y'know, the blond hair?" The girl said again, her demeanour still docile.
Toshinori raised his brow, before replying, "Oh, so you go to Aldera too..."
Aldera.
The girl goes to Aldera too.
Which means...
"SHIT!" Toshinori yelped, not realising how loud he was. The girl was surprised herself, before asking, "Are you okay, um.."
"Yagi Toshinori, and yes, I'm fine, I just.." Toshinori then continued, "Look, don't tell anyone about the stunt I pulled. If the police finds out about my identity and that I'm an unlicensed kid trying to fight off criminals, I'm dead. Also, explaining to them how I do this despite being quirkless will be a pain in the arse. I'll reveal myself when the time is right, got that?"
"What do you mean quirkless, Yagi-san? You beat those bad guys like an awesome hero!" The girl cheerfully said again.
"I'll explain later, what's your name?" Toshinori asked again. The girl replied with a smile, "My name is Yui Ichika, I'm very pleased to make your acquaintance, Yagi-san..I just wanted to say that I'm grateful that you saved me from those horrible villains, I was sure I'm going to die, but you came and saved us! Thank you!"
"Ah, well, glad to be of service, but I gotta go now. Here's my phone number if you ever need me. I promise I'll explain my quirkless situation!" Toshinori said while writing his phone number in an inhuman speed.
He gave Ichika his number, written over a small paper he had, before running off, "Okay! Thank you, bye!"
Ichika snorts, before looking at the number on the paper, "What an odd guy...okay, an odd nice guy that is.."
Near Toshinori's apartment..
He walked the dirty streets in front of his apartment. He lived alone. His mom lived in the city of Hosu by herself. He felt bad, really, for leaving her, but he had to.
His desire to be the symbol of peace led him to be here, but now, besides of being a symbol, he has a new goal. To show the world that quirkless doesn't mean powerless, and he will make sure the message will stop the unfair discrimination of the quirkless on the majority of schools in this country.
But then, he was distracted by the supermarket besides him, which was plastered with a poster that made him widened his eyes.
ON SATURDAY, BARGAIN SALE! DON'T MISS OUT!
Toshinori was screaming internally in happiness. He is so going to get those groceries tomorrow. He brushed the happy thoughts off of his mind, before deciding to continue to walk home.
Chapter 3: BARGAIN SALE!
Alright, being a janitor is boring. BORING. Not to mention the rude ass customers. Toshinori has to bear with this because he didn't want to burden his mom even more, he didn't want her to keep sending money his way every damn time. It's Toshinori's turn to keep his shit together and make for a living.
Every weekend, Toshinori has to work as a janitor to fill up his empty time. Of course, it's boring as all hell, but he didn't need to complain about it.
He suddenly bumped into someone he didn't expect to see.
"Watch it, asshole." A voice belonged to a teen called out. "Hey, c'mon, it was an acci-" Toshinori was shocked to see Masashi, with his dad and Mezo behind him.
Yep, he wanted to die already. "Ooooh, it's you! The quirkless runt!" Masashi ridiculed him.
Toshinori rolled his eyes, and continued to clean the table in front of him. "Oi, don't ignore me!" Masashi gripped his shirt, "You tryna start some shit?!"
Mezo shouted, "Masashi! Stop messing around and come- oh.." He stopped his rant when he spotted Toshinori, "So the quirkless runt works as a janitor."
Toshinori sighed, before taking a sanitizer, spreading it to the table, before wiping it with a towel.
"Got nothing to say? Hey, dad, look, it's the quirkless runt!" Mezo called out to his dad. His dad glanced at Toshinori, "Oh? Oh. Yagi Toshinori, the kid my son are so eager to pick on." Smirking, he said, "I'm surprised people still accept freaks like you to work in their place. After all, maybe the quirkless deserves our pity."
Toshinori glared at him, before deciding to keep his anger to himself, not wanting to cause trouble.
"I heard that you want to be a hero, brat. Drop it. You don't have a quirk, just get lost and die along with the rest of you quirkless spaw-" He was cut off when Toshinori replied, "Oh, shut up, will you?" earning a glare from both Masashi and Mezo.
"What was that?" The older man said, his tone threatening. Toshinori sighed, "Quirk this. Quirk that. Guy like you puts so much of their attention into a single genetic mutation." He said before turning his gaze to Masashi and Mezo's dad, "People nowadays forget the true definition of a hero. You associate heroes with quirks, but I assure you, the two aren't connected."
"Do I hear denial?" The older man said in mockery.
"Oh, no, no, I'm not in denial. You see, old man, heroes back then were hailed as heroes because of their contribution to community service, while 'heroes' these days do some flashy stuff and beat the crap out of bad guys, advertising their product and demanding compensation for their work, it's really pathetic." Toshinori replied, while putting an air quote at mentioning "heroes".
He continued, "Ever heard of Desmond Doss? The american soldier that were hailed as a hero back before quirks emerged?
He was ridiculed, everyone called him weak due to his unwillingness to kill people in the battlefield. Compared to his fellow soldiers, he was the weakest to everyone else in terms of physical prowess. Yet he single-handedly saved SEVENTY FIVE wounded soldiers out of the battlefield due to his will alone. He was hailed as a hero, not because of his quirk, not because of his physical strength, but because of his actions."
Toshinori then continued, "You see, being a hero isn't about quirks. They're only tools, but what matters the most of being a hero," Toshinori then pointed his finger to the older man's heart, "Is your heart, your desire to save people, your courage, to overcome your greatest fears and give comfort to those who needed it the most. That's what a hero is about, not beating the living shit out of lowlife villains for the hell of it, while causing destruction and chaos in the streets, posing in front of the television like a crazed maniac. Heroes are all about fame these days, it's fucking stupid."
Toshinori finished his rant, before taking his sanitizer and broom, walking away from the old man.
"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are, saying bullshit like that, ungrateful brat?! Pro-heroes risk their lives everyday for everyone's safety! You dare?!" The older man yelled, while both of his son growled too.
"I've said the stuff I wanted to say, since you pissed me off, but I guess I wasted my time, my bad. Just go away, order your damn food, whatever." Toshinori rudely replied, walking away from the family.
"Why do you want to become a hero, anyway?!" Mezo interjected, "You'll just be a liability with your quirklessness, baka!"
Toshinori stopped for a moment, before walking away, replying, "None of your business. Get your nose off of my life, both in school and outside of school. We never know each other, get lost." He waved them away, feeling a surge of anger that he never felt before.
Toshinori couldn't help it. He was very mad that the old man judged all quirkless people as powerless, helpless, worthless trash. They aren't!
While Toshinori wasn't so sure if he himself was a true hero, he felt the need to defend the quirkless.
After receiving the paycheck from the manager, he exited the restaurant, feeling relief.
His shift ended, and he went back home after hours of working. Ah, finally, freedom... he smiled, before looking at the bargain sale poster in his hands, and grinned, "Looks like this day isn't so bad after a-"
A crying girl was heading to his way. Nevermind.
The girl launched herself into the direction of Toshinori, holding onto his chest.
A man emerged out of the shadows, revealed to be the number 10 hero,
BICYCLIST, THE FUEL HERO
QUIRK: FUEL. CAN PRODUCE FUEL AT A FAST RATE, WHICH IS USEFUL SINCE HIS SUIT CAN PRODUCE FIRE. HIS FUEL CAN ALSO BE USED FOR HIS INSANELY FAST MOTOCYCLE, NAMELY, THE CYCLE OF JUSTICE!
Toshinori looked down to the girl, before looking to the pro-hero. He sighed, before speaking, "Is something wrong with the girl?"
"A- ah, it's...nothing, I... she's my daughter, she just..err..." The bicycle hero find himself stuttering between his words, "Just give the girl back, I promise, it's just a phase."
Toshinori shook his head, "I don't think so. What kind of phase?" he asked one more time, his tone lower. Bicyclist sighed, before saying, "Look, kid, you're young, and I really, REALLY don't want to hurt you. I'm a pro-hero, and you kids should put your trust-"
"Heh, trust? Not a chance in hell. The girl is crying like crazy, that doesn't seem fine at all, and you still haven't explained why she cried. Go on, the mic is yours, mister pro-hero." He added a bit of a venom in his last words.
The pro-hero growled, before responding, "I promise it isn't what-"
"What. Kind. Of. Phase?!" Toshinori implied.
The pro-hero laughed, "You think you're some kind of hero here, kid? Don't waste my time here playing pretend like I'm the villain and the girl is the victim!"
"Well, now that you mention it, it kinda looks that way." Toshinori retorted with a smirk, before turning to the girl, "Nevermind, I'll just ask the girl herself."
"DON'T YOU DARE!" The bicyclist rushed, preparing to strike the teen. Toshinori reacted quickly and caught his hand, smirking, "Oh, come on, you would try to harm poor ol' me? A helpless, quirkless citizen? Now that's very unheroic."
"What do you know about heroes, you brat!" The bicyclist threw a kick, but Toshinori flicked his head, causing him to fly away from them, "Jerk."
He then turned his head to the whimpering girl, crying to him, "Get me away from him, mister, please!"
"What did he do to you?" Toshinori asked in a soft voice.
The girl began crying as she spoke, "I was with my mom and dad...when they had to go...then he came.. I thought he was a cool hero...so I followed him...but then... there's these bad men...bicyclist gave me away to them...for money...!" She began crying hysterically.
Toshinori's face were that of a terrified, angered beast. WHAT THE FUCK?!
"The bad men..were doing funny things to me..." The girl spoke cluelessly. Funny things? It took a second before Toshinori realised what it was and almost puked.
"They played with me..aggressively...they made me..do hard stuff..that makes me tired.." She cried hysterically, "Then I decided to run, and bicyclist came again to catch me! Help, mister! I don't wanna go back! I want to go back to mom and dad! Mister, please!" The girl cried to Toshinori's chest again.
Pure, ever-growing, intense anger. That's what Toshinori felt. The guy has the gal to call himself a hero? After what he did to the child?
Toshinori stood up, his anger building, "Don't worry, kid, stay close to me, and watch as I put this asshole in his place..." he grabbed the girl's hand, leading him to the alley, where the bicyclist was knocked out unconscious.
He flicked the guy's head again, causing the ground to break and his skull cracked. Bicyclist woke up in intense pain, before saying weakly, "Ugh..what just-"
Toshinori grabbed the 'hero' by the neck, gripping him hard but not hard enough to kill him. "So, 'hero', do you realise how much of a 'hero' you are now?"
"W- what the hell are you talking about, brat?! Where's the.. where's the girl?!" The man asked in panic. "Oh, she's safe and sound, under my protection. You're not going near her anymore, 'hero'."
"GIVE HER BACK!" The pro-hero demanded. Toshinori chuckled, "For what purpose though? So you can get money?"
"You have no idea who she is! She is part of the Yaoyoruzu family! I need her, please, I have a family, this hero job isn't effective, I need more money-" The pro-hero was cut off when Toshinori yelled, "So what you're telling me is, you, a hero, a guy that's supposed to keep the peace in society and save those who needs saving, you're telling me you'd allow this girl to be raped by a bunch of criminals while they demand her parents to give them money so they can give her back to her family?"
"And for what purpose?! FOR THE PURPOSE OF FIXING YOUR DAMN FINANCIAL ISSUES?! And you call yourself a fucking hero? Huh?! A FUCKING HERO?!" Toshinori yelled again, his anger rising. His faith in nowadays heroes are diminishing, and a hatred inside of him began to grow.
"It disgusts me how people like you are even allowed to be a hero! Seriously?! I want to puke about the fact that your name is associated with the title of a fucking hero! A HERO!!" Toshinori yelled so loud, the pro-hero felt an air of intimidation.
"How...the fuck...are brats like you...this strong...?!" The pro-hero struggled to speak.
However, Toshinori ignored his question, before he said again, "You are gifted with a quirk, and a hero status, and what do you decide to do with it?! You fucking abuse it and use your status to sell a fucking child to a criminal gang?! YOU?! HOW DARE YOU?!"
Toshinori snapped out of his anger, before effortlessly throwing the pro-hero against the wall with a force that aren't enough to kill him.
"Good grief... you're going to get your license revoked soon, my guy. The girl will provide witness." Toshinori blankly stated, before walking away with the girl, "Goodbye."
"No you won't!" The bicyclist yelled, rushing at Toshinori with a rusty bat he found near a trashcan, "GIVE HER BACK!"
He swung the bat into the direction of Toshinori's head, but on contact, the weapon was shattered into pieces, "HOW'D YOU LIKE TH- aaahh..." he stopped in fear to realise just how much of a monster the blond boy in front of him is.
Toshinori slowly tilted his head, before throwing a bored punch into his chest, releasing a bone-cracking sound from it, knocking him unconscious again, "Trash." he harshly insulted the pro-hero under his breath.
"Thank you, mister! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" The girl repeated her thanks as she hugged Toshinori's thigh.
Toshinori found himself smiling, before replying, "It's no problem, kid."
However, her happy demeanour changed into a hysterical cry, "Thank you...If mister didn't come...I would be back...thank you!"
Toshinori felt his heart shattered. His faith in modern heroes are slowly fading. These piece of shits are what you call heroes?
"You're a true hero! Unlike that bicyclist guy! Mister, you're so cool!" The girl complimented him in the midst of her tears.
Toshinori found himself blushing in embarrassment at the excessive praise, "Oh, come on kid, I... didn't do much..." He reluctantly finished.
The girl giggled, before wrapping her arms around his legs, clutching herself into him.
"How you feeling, girl?" Toshinori asked as he walked with the girl towards the nearest police station.
"I'm...not good...it hurts..." The girl whined. Toshinori raised his brow, before realising what it was. Ah yes. The funny things.
He ruffled her hair in an attempt to comfort her, "Well, you won't have to experience that ever again, as long as I'm here. What's your name, girl?"
"Yaoyoruzu...Yaoyoruzu Izumi..." The girl replied, while still feeling pain. "Yaoyoruzu-chan it is! Call me Toshinori, if that's no problem with you." He replied with a grin.
"Okay! Toshinori-kun!" The girl cheerfully replied.
At the police station...
"Yagi-san... I'll report this to those who are involved with the heroics. Thanks for your service, and the girl will be save with us. We will contact the Yaoyoruzu family to take the girl back. Here's a compensation for you." Minato, the chief, handed over a couple hundred of yens to Toshinori.
Realising this, he widened his eyes, frantically waving his hands in front of his face, "N- no! No, no, that isn't necessary, sir, I was just doing what I thought was right, I-"
"Accept it. We are grateful for what you did. You see, the Yaoyoruzu family has been demanding us to find the little girl, even declared that they would throw all of their money away to us just for us to be competent enough to find her. I felt bad, really, but then, you turned the tide. We are forever in your debt, Yagi-san..." Minato interrupted, before continuing, "I'm sure you'd make a great hero someday. I see the makings of an incredible hero in yourself."
Okay, this is just too much, he didn't do anything special at all!
Toshinori scratched his head in embarrassment, "Yeah, I'm not sure about that, sir..." He replied, before taking the money, "But thanks..I really don't want the money, but since you insist..." he pocketed the money.
"Good luck, Yagi-san." Minato said while smiling. Toshinori nodded, before a certain girl ran to him, lifting both of her hands up, "Toshinori-kun! We'll see each other again, right?! You're so cool! I want to meet you again!"
Toshinori smiled, before crouching, hugging the little girl, "Of course, of course, if I have the time, I will."
The girl cried in his arms again. Toshinori frowned, before saying in a gentle voice, "Come on, don't cry..."
"The bad men...they...they are still-" Toshinori interrupted by holding the girl tighter than before, "They won't touch you." he said with determination.
Toshinori removed himself from the girl's embrace, before writing his phone number (again) on a small paper, giving it to the small girl, "My phone number. Whenever you feel discomfort, call me, I'll be there in an instant, literally." He finished.
He knew where the Yaoyoruzu's live, so finding her wouldn't be that much of a trouble.
The girl smiled in response, "Thank you, Toshinori-kun! See you!"
Toshinori nodded, before giving away a goodbye salute, as he disappeared instantly.
Outside...
Toshinori walked around, "Now, for the bargain sal-"
He cut himself off when the poster says,
Bargain sale will occur until 7 PM!
Toshinori looked at his watch, as despair began to take him over. It was 7:30 PM!
He fell on his knees, before screaming to the sky, "KUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Chapter 4: Sensei!
Toshinori was seen jogging near Dagoba Beach, devoid of pedestrians. Beads of sweats was seen around his forehead, tiredness began to consume him.
But he didn't let it bother him, not if he wants to become the strongest hero in the world, not if he wants to give birth to a symbol that will bring peace to the country.
After finishing the ten kilometres run and his routine in a whole, he stopped in a local ramen joint, not too expensive and not too cheap, just to get him back on the tracks.
"Ah, Toshinori-kun, I see that you've finished your exercise. Do you want the usual?" The owner of the joint asked. Toshinori immediately nodded, before being served a bowl of ramen noodle a few good minutes later.
"Ah, and one sake, please." Toshinori asked again, earning a nod from the owner. Toshinori took a bite from the ramen, before being served the sake he ordered a few minutes earlier.
He drank the sake, before the owner spoke, "You know, you seem like a bright kid with a bright future. My advise, Toshinori-kun, you shouldn't overwork yourself like this. You should take it easy."
Toshinori looked at him with determination, "I'm not gonna take it easy, oji-san, not if I'm gonna make it out as the strongest hero in this world."
"My, my, are you really that determined with that goal of yours?" The owner asked. Toshinori nodded, "I want to give hope, not only to the quirkless people, but to those who needed the helping the most. Crime rates are rising, and someone's gotta step up to do something about it. If no one will, I will."
"Your goals are noble, kid, but remember, you gotta take it easy someday. You won't be able to achieve your goal if you're dead, you know?" The owner finished, before smiling. He walked back to his kitchen, leaving Toshinori to himself.
Don't overwork, huh?
Musutafu, Present
Toshinori was awoken by a loud bell outside of his apartment room. He groaned in frustration, before throwing a book from the side of his bed into the wall, creating a huge hole on it.
Toshinori took a few seconds before realising what he had just done, "...SHIIIIIITTTT!"
Having overwhelming powers are cool and exciting. But sometimes? Not.
The bell rang again. Toshinori sighed, before getting out of his bed, walking in the direction of the door.
He opened it aggressively, causing the doorknob to be removed out of it's place.
Are you kidding me!?
The door opened, revealing the girl he met two days ago in that bank.
"Oh, it's you." Toshinori stated blankly, "Please excuse the mess," He awkwardly looked at the hole in front of his bed and the doorknob on his hand, "Sometimes I hate being this powerful."
"Oh! I wasn't expecting you to answer the door, but, yeah it's okay, I don't mind the mess!" Yui replied enthusiastically.
"What do you want?" He asked with a bored, neutral expression. Yui giggled, "Aw, come on, can't I visit a friend every once in a while?"
Toshinori stared at her for a long time, before saying, "I wasn't aware that we're-"
Yui cut him off, "The moment you saved me from those maniacs and gave me your number, we're friends, whether you like it or not."
Toshinori stared at her again, before breaking the silence, "...how did you find this place anyway?"
Yui was about to answer, when a second voice emerged behind her, "Oh, I gave her your address!"
Toshinori widened his eyes to see who it was. "Genos-san?!"
Genos sheepishly scratched his hair, "I know you don't want guests at the weekends but...uh..."
Toshinori replied with a smile, "Hey, it's okay, you're so easy to scare!" he laughed. The blond, younger boy laughed nervously, "I just can't say no to a girl..."
Yui chuckled, before saying, "Anyways, I came here because I wanted to hang out with you."
Toshinori blinked, before replying, "Uh...hang..out?"
She nodded, "Pretty please? I mean...err...I have such a boring life.."
"Don't you have friends?" Toshinori asked again, and she responded with, "...no."
"Why?" Toshinori asked once again. Yui replied, a tone of hurt was heard in her voice, "I... I'm quirkless...and you know how-"
The doorknob on Toshinori's hand was suddenly crushed under the intense pressure of his palm.
"Um, you okay there, Yagi-san?" Yui asked, concern filling her. Toshinori snapped and replied, "I'm fine! Don't worry about it! So uh.." He stopped, staring at her eyes, before continuing, "Y... you're quirkless?"
"Yup! I'm..." Suddenly, she said, "Is there a bathroom near here? I..I need to..."
Yagi knew what she was feeling right now, before placing his hand on her shoulder, "Hey."
She looked at him, and forced a smile on her face, "Yeah?"
Yagi replied, "Don't hide it."
The girl looked confused, keeping a forced smile on her face, "What are you talking about? I..uh..I really need a bathroom, I'm sorry-"
Suddenly, she was embraced by Yagi. "Um.." She uttered in confusion, "Yagi-san?"
"If you think you're worthless because you're quirkless, think again." Yagi replied with a soft voice, "I may not know you well, Yui-san, but I know how it feels like, and I know...that you're holding back your tears just now."
Yui's eyes were suddenly teary, "Y- Yagi-san... I'm so sorry-"
"Don't. Let it all out." Toshinori offered, "I'll be here all day, my work can wait." He finished. Yui let all of her tears out, staining Toshinori's clothes, but he didn't mind it.
Genos joined on to comfort her, patting her back.
Toshinori frowned as he let the girl he met two days ago cry on his shoulders
I'm starting to hate quirks if you think about it..
A few minutes later..
"So, you're a transfer student? And you occupy a class different than mine?" Toshinori asked as he offered her and Genos tea. They were sitting on a couch near the bed.
"Yep..I'm a student on 3-B, while you're at 3-A..." Yui replied, her eyes still red from the tears she let out earlier, "I don't know why, when I first got in Aldera a few months ago, people kept picking on me for being quirkless...I wanted friends, so I decided to join in on a conversation of this group of girls, but..." She looked down, saying, "They left immediately, because..because apparently...I'm a worthless, quirkless person, a freak, a mistake...I don't know what's so bad about not having a quirk..it's not my fault I was born this way!" She finished her rant.
Toshinori replied, "You're right, there's nothing wrong about being quirkless. It's natural. You didn't have the ability to control it. One of the few reasons why I think today's society is a big joke, every person is measured by their damn quirks, it makes me sick to my stomach."
He then placed a hand on Yui's shoulder, "Tell you what, you don't need a quirk to be strong." he reassured, "You've seen what I can do yesterday, right? Though, I didn't know what caused me to be this way, I swear, it was just an intense training regime."
"You're really quirkless?" Yui asked. Toshinori nodded, "I forgot to explain to you, my bad..you see, just a year and a half ago, I was a scrawny boy who couldn't do jack shit to defend himself. I decided from that day do this very, very intense training routine."
"Oh really? What was it?" Yui asked, her curiousity growing.
Toshinori took a deep breath, before looking at them with a serious stare. He yelled:
"IN ORDER TO BE STRONG, I DID THIS ONE INTENSE TRAINING REGIME:
YOU MUST DO
100 PUSH-UPS!
100 SIT-UPS!
100 SQUATS!
10 KILOMETRES RUNNING!
EVERY SINGLE DAY!"
The pair stared at Toshinori like they've seen a ghost. Toshinori then continued, "Of course, that's not all. Every winter, you can't turn on your heater, and every summer, you can't turn on your AC, the purpose being to train your mind." He said, while pointing at his head to make his point.
"You must have three meals each day. I eat banana as a breakfast, the rest was random. I worked very hard to reach to the point where I am right now, even when my elbows makes this...weird clicking noises, I kept going on and on, that effort alone is needed for me to achieve my goal of being the strongest hero in the world!" Toshinori finished with a wide grin.
Genos stared at his upperclassmen for a while, before replying, "Toshinori-kun..." He paused for a while, before standing up, his expression darkened, "You're so..." Genos paused again, before screaming to the top of his lungs,
"FULL OF SHIT! WHAT YOU JUST TOLD US IS JUST A NORMAL TRAINING ROUTINE! THERE'S NOTHING INTENSE ABOUT IT! NO WAY IN HELL YOU GOT THAT STRONG JUST BECAUSE YOU TRAINED! I DIDN'T PUT MYSELF TO LISTEN JUST TO HEAR A TERRIBLE JOKE, TOSHINORI-KUUUUN!"
Toshinori frantically waved his hand in front of his face, "Oi, oi! Calm down, I wasn't joking!"
"I have to agree with the blond, cute boy over here." Yui added.
"My name is Genos." Genos deadpanned. Yui ignored it and continued, "There's no way you got that insanely strong over a training regime. It makes no sense. Unless you developed a quirk, then no, it's not possible."
Toshinori sighed, "Guys, I promise, that's all I did! And no, I didn't suddenly became a late-bloomer, I checked it the moment my body became this way, and I was still diagnosed as quirkless."
Genos shook his head, "Toshinori-kun, no, I just can't believe it."
Toshinori let out an exasperated sigh before saying, "How about I force you both to do the routine myself?"
"W- w- w- wait! You're gonna make us do a hundred sit-ups, push ups, and squats, every single day? Nuh-uh, Yagi-san!" Yui frantically yelled.
"I thought you said the training regime wasn't that intense." Toshinori deadpanned. Yui replied, "Akira-san said that, not me."
Genos, instead of being scared however, stood up, "I'd like to see the effects of this 'training regime' for myself! I'd like to be your disciple! I need to be strong, stronger than I am now!"
Toshinori and Yui stared at him awkwardly, "Uh...what?" Toshinori asked, much to Genos's enthusiasm, "Teacher! I am ready to do the routine! This day, or tomorrow, whenever you want!"
"Okay, but..stop calling me teacher, I feel old if you call me that." Toshinori laughed.
"Yes, master!" Genos replied. Toshinori groaned, "Not master either!"
"Sensei!" Genos replied in a different word but the same meaning. Toshinori slapped his forehead, "Okay, you know what, fine, you can call me that! Whatever."
"Thank you so much, Toshinori-sensei!" Genos bowed his head immediately, much to Yagi's annoyance. Yui too, stood up, before saying, "I will join in to become your disciple too! I want to become strong and cool, like you!"
"Guys, seriously?" Toshinori looked at them with confusion, "Of course I'll accept to help, but man, I'm not a teacher! I probably suck at it a lot too!" He laughed nervously, "Come on, guys, drop the act."
"THANK YOU FOR YOUR GENEROUSITY, TOSHINORI-SENSEI!" Both of them yelled enthusiastically simultaneously.
Toshinori sighed, These two will be the death of me one of these days.