Chapter 49
Kazuki walked as resolutely as he could towards the school.
He knew what awaited him there. The media had been going wild with the fact that he apparently hadn't gone to school the previous day. Some students – from other classes thankfully – had even confirmed this, making it clear that he hadn't gotten past the reporters somehow. There were already a bunch of theories about how maybe U.A. had seen the error of their ways and kicked him out, and that was one of the tame ones. Another said that they'd sent him back to the hole he'd crawled out of.
Granted, they never quite said it with those words, but he could read between the lines.
If he were honest, Kazuki wasn't sure how he'd even get through them this time. There was no hiding himself. To do so, he'd have to cover every part of his body and that'd just be more suspicious than not. His skin, his hair, his eyes, they all gave him away.
So, he'd just have to face the music.
'Better than the emotions at the Sports Festival, at least,' he noted to himself, taking a deep breath in as the gates of the school came into view. 'Focus on walking,' he thought to himself, even though he knew it was useless. They wouldn't let him pass through this time like they had with the All Might thing at the start of the year.
Sure enough, as soon as one of the reporters caught sight of him, they rushed towards him. Kazuki made an effort to keep his mouth shut though, trying to find space to walk through until it was impossible. Once there he was forced to stop and he couldn't tune out the questions anymore.
Why was he trying to be a hero?
Why had he been let out early?
Why had U.A. allowed him in?
Why why why?
Kazuki had half a mind to channel his negativity into his voice. He was sure that would shut them up, but that was also likely to be terrible for his already disastrous public image. He couldn't do that. He needed to find some other way to-
"I AM HERE!" a voice shouted and suddenly everyone went quiet… for about a second. Then, more questions started being shouted before the voice broke through once more. "I APOLOGIZE, BUT YOU ARE STOPPING ONE OF OUR STUDENTS FROM ATTENDING HIS CLASSES AND I CAN'T ALLOW THAT! PLEASE, MAKE WAY!"
And make way they did, because when All Might told you to move, you moved.
Kazuki felt a big, strong hand be placed on his tense shoulder before gently being led through the crowd of reporters. He didn't look at the hero. He didn't look at anyone or anywhere in particular. Instead, he just… walked where he was being led to and kept his mouth shut. He didn't know what else to do.
What was he supposed to do?
"I apologize for that, Young Endo," All Might told him once they were both inside the school and out of sight. "They had no business doing that to you."
"... Thank you," he said, softly, almost in a whisper. At that very moment, he didn't remember the last time he'd been so grateful to anyone. It was then that he realized that he was on the verge of a panic attack and he hadn't even noticed.
'One. Two. Three. Four. Five,' he counted, keeping his breathing even or at least trying to. 'Five. Four. Three. Two. One.'
Feeling better, he looked at the hero for the first time.
"I… They'll be there when we get out, won't they?" he asked, gulping and feeling every bit the scared child he'd once been. "They won't leave."
"... It is likely that they won't. U.A. will make sure to help you, however. If I'm not available, someone else will be," All Might reassured… Even though it didn't really work. It had worked this time, because it was All Might. Some other hero would likely struggle considerably more. And the man couldn't do it all the time.
"I took away from your time,"Kazuki realized, horrified.
"Don't think about it," All Might told him, patting his shoulder as he deflated into his weakened state after checking that they were alone. "I would do it again and you know why? Because you needed a hero, and heroes have failed you enough times as is."
"... Thank you," he repeated with a watery smile. "Some hero I am," he added self-deprecatingly.
"Dealing with the press is always difficult for new heroes. You are a student and this level of things? Even I wouldn't want to deal with it. Don't be ashamed, Young Endo. I'd say you did admirably well as it is," All Might reassured once more.
"If you say so… Thank you, again. I… I have class to get to," he said, more as an excuse than anything. After all, he was early, as he'd been for most of the year so far. He had plenty of time to spare, but All Might just smiled at him and patted his arm.
"Go along, Young Endo. And congratulations again for your victory. Be proud," the hero told him and, somehow, that hit Kazuki just as hard as his speech had when he'd been on the podium. He could barely believe that he'd won the Sports Festival. After working so hard for that… things had spiraled so much afterwards that he almost forgot.
"Doesn't seem to have done much good," he replied with a bitter smile. "But thanks anyway," he added, turning and starting walking down the hall once more.
"It did more than you realize," All Might said behind him. "There's people on your side, Endo. Always. Don't forget that."
He didn't respond to that, instead continuing to walk forward and nodding. 'I'm trying,' he thought to himself. He wastrying, but no matter how hard he did so, he remembered the negativity, the crowd, the news…
"I'm also sorry. Sorry, for not having been able to keep this from happening. I'm sorry for contributing to this. To all his victims, I'm sorry."
Kazuki paused, gulped and sighed, deflating.
'I'm trying.'
[}-o-{]
"It wasn't too much, I hope?" Yaoyorozu asked when he took a seat next to her. Todoroki had been sitting across from her and they seemed to have been talking about Quirks, from what he picked up. He wished he could just join that conversation instead of talking about…
Kazuki sighed.
"All Might had to help me get to the school," he answered, making the girl purse her lips and Todoroki frown a bit. "I don't want to talk about it. What were you two talking about?"
"... Yaoyorozu and I started discussing yesterday about whether I might able to create complex constructs with my ice or not," Todoroki answered when the girl looked a second away from doing so. If her expression and annoyance were anything to go by, Kazuki would bet that she wanted to talk about something else. Probably about him and his feelings.
Kazuki wanted to talk about anything but those, however.
He was tired of feelings, especially after what had just happened.
"We think that it's possible, but I think it's not practical. I just generate ice from myself. I can't control the shape of it. So to make a complex construct, I'd have to generate ice in certain ways one piece at a time, which would be really slow," Todoroki continued, thank his social ineptitude… Or maybe he knew what he was doing. Either way, Kazuki was grateful.
"I mean, even if it requires time, you never know when you might need a construct, like a roof or a shield or anything else. Those are probably simple enough, but there might come a time when you need something more complex like you were talking about. Even if it takes time to get them done, it might still be something worth looking into," Kazuki mused, getting in Quirk Discussion mode like he usually did with Yaoyorozu. It felt nice, to push everything away and just talk theories. "I don't know if it's the kind of skill that warrants training focus though, but it might be worth spending some time on at the very least."
"Hm, I guess I can see what you mean," Todoroki replied with a nod. "What about you, something you are or will be working on?"
"Endo, are you-?"
"I think I'll be focusing on the number of Grimm I can make and how fast I can make them," Kazuki replied, ignoring Yaoyorozu entirely. He knew she was worried, he knew, but he didn't want to talk about that. He wanted… He wanted a normal day. He needed a normal day, at least for a bit.
"Not making more special ones?" Todoroki asked, apparently either not picking up on Yaoyorozu's attempts or deciding to follow Kazuki's example. He might have to explain social things to the guy.
And wasn't that sad? That he was so bad even Kazuki could teach him?
"No, I… I think I've had enough special Grimm for a while," he replied hesitantly. The thought of having to go through the process that had created the Apathy and the Alpha Beowolf again was… not a pleasant one. He would, eventually, but he didn't feel like he had the emotional bandwidth to deal with that at the moment. "I'll be working on other things, strengthening what's already there."
"Improving the foundations is never a bad idea," Todoroki replied and Kazuki didn't know if he was actually agreeing with him or just doing so because he felt that's what he had to do.
"I do want to look into support equipment. I might have to check in with the Support Course or something. I wanna see if there's a way to bounce ideas and such instead of just telling them what I want and seeing what they can do," Kazuki mused out loud, leaning back on his chair.
"... I do believe that should be possible," Yaoyorozu said, evidently realizing that she wasn't going to get anywhere at that moment. She didn't seem happy to have to drop the issue though, but Kazuki would apologize for that later, he supposed.
"How are the most beautiful people in the world?!" exclaimed a new voice. Kazuki's lips pulled into a smile as he turned to look at Hagakure… or her clothes, at least.
"You are still half-asleep, aren't you?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at the girl. He was getting some weariness from here. A feeling that was soon followed by annoyance at his question. That just made him grin wider. "What are you doing here? You usually don't arrive until much later."
"Felt like it," she said and he got a hint of worry there that told the whole story. She'd arrived early because he arrived early. That made him sigh internally and his expression fall.
Of course.
He couldn't just ignore things for a bit, could he?
"So, any ideas you were discussing for your own quirk, Beauty?" he asked, determined to try and have a normal conversation. Because dammit all he was tired of dealing with emotions and problems and…
"We talked a bit about whether or not I could pull off a pseudo-ice attack like Todoroki's. I tested it in the training facilities and I can make ice, but I can't make enough for it to be worth it and I can't produce the cold that makes Todoroki's ice more effective," Yaoyorozu explained, which was a relief. Now that Hagakure was there, he almost expected them to team up against him. Thank God for small mercies.
"That sounds interesting though. Can you make fire?" he asked, making the girl blink at him. "Can you make hot air or cold air? Maybe you can pull it off… Although, I imagine it'd take a mad amount of control and probably not enough quantity."
"But it might be a great way to push the limits of my Quirk," the rich girl finished, looking thoughtful.
Kazuki just leaned back, happy that things seemed like they'd go for a more normal route from there.
He could only hope it'd last.
[}-o-{]
He was feeling a lot better a good half an hour later, right before class started.
After all, he'd spent all that time talking with his friends. They'd still tried to bring up his state of mind from time to time, but he'd steered them away from that as best he could, either subtly or obviously. He could tell just by how worried they were at all times, even when they tried to play it off, of course, but he didn't want to focus on that for the moment. Who knew? Maybe Hagakure had told them about the day before too. That would have been even more annoying than their attempts but…
Kazuki didn't know if it had happened though, so it was better not to assume. Even then, he appreciated the thought. He appreciated that they cared, he really did.
He just didn't want to deal with any of that at the moment.
The point was that it was nice to get back to the routine, in a way. Sure, the start of the day could have gone better, but once inside, he could almost imagine that things were back to normal. Almost, but not quite. Especially when Aizawa made his entrance and started the day's class.
"Today's class will be… special, let's say," Aizawa announced, making more than one perk up. "We'll start off with a heroics class today, for one." And that was new by itself. Usually they had normal classes in the morning and heroics classes during the afternoon. "For another, it's an important day for most of you…" their teacher continued, apparently feeling dramatic if the pause was anything to go by. "It's time for you all to formulate your codenames, your hero names."
There was a brief pause from their teacher as the class devolved into very excited whispers going all the way to loud exclamations that were met with a harsh glare from Aizawa. It made sense though. A hero name was important, it was what would set them apart from everyone else. There weren't two heroes with the same name at the same time. At least not within the same country and it was frowned upon for a hero to use another hero's name if they were well known.
One wouldn't be seeing another All Might anywhere else, for example. Neither would one see a Stars and Stripes, for that matter. It was, basically, something that was unique to a specific person. Especially for U.A. students, who usually were well known enough that they didn't get their names unknowingly taken by someone else.
Kazuki didn't share his classmate's excitement though, simply keeping to his place in silence. A hero name was something he'd given a lot of thought to, of course. However, most of what he'd come up with either didn't fit him or it didn't fit his Quirk. Because no matter how much he wanted to call himself something friendly and nice… That wasn't him.
"Sorry, for not having been able to keep this from happening."
And yet, even realizing that, he didn't want to name himself something more according to his Quirk. He didn't want to name himself something monstrous or dark. It made him feel like he would still be the Black Rampage if he did. It made him feel like, if he did that, then he'd be exactly who everyone thought he was.
So, he sat in uncomfortable silence as Aizawa explained to them that their name choices were important and related to the internship offers they would likely talk about soon. After that, he went a little more in depth about that. Their teacher told them about how, for first years, it was more of a show of interest than anything else. If that interest remained or changed in the following years, then that was entirely on them one way or another.
"Now, the tally of offers is as follows,"Aizawa said, gesturing towards the screen behind him. A moment later, several names from their class appeared. Next to them, there were bars and numbers with the amount of offers.
Predictably, Midoriya had gotten a lot of offers, together with Todoroki – who had gotten the most – and even Bakugo, despite how he'd done in the event. Yaoyorozu wasn't that far behind though. It was a sharp curve down from those first three, however. The rich girl was somewhere in the middle, but every other name under her had some very sad numbers in comparison.
However, maybe less predictably for some was…
'27,' Kazuki read, blinking. 'More than I thought, less than I hoped,' he mused before snorting. 'Like usual, huh? At least as of late.' Considering he'd expected a grand total of zero offers for himself, Kazuki would take twenty seven.
Regardless, he could only sigh as Aizawa continued explaining things. They would, apparently, get an internship even if nobody sent an offer. The school had a list of heroes that offered internships for everyone in the school, so those with few offers could still go through that list if they wanted to, if nothing on their own appealed to them. No that Kazuki expected that to happen a lot, but it was still nice.
'In twenty seven options, surely one would fit me, right?' he thought to himself. He wouldn't want to go with one of the school's list. They hadn't chosen him, after all. They had chosen regular U.A. students. He was anything but a regular U.A. student.
"Of course," Aizawa continued even then. "A placeholder name is fine. Just make sure that it's something appropriate-"
"Because if you don't, your lives will be hell!" a new voice exclaimed, making a few students jump as the door was opened. And from there, in came Midnight. "The names you pick now, the world will know you by them and sometimes they'll stick with you even after becoming pros."
"Midnight is here to help you with your naming sense," Aizawa informed them flatly, looking and feeling like he just wanted to take a nap. Kazuki himself wouldn't mind one. They hadn't even started and he already felt like he was getting a headache. 'And the day was getting so much better…'
They were given fifteen minutes to consider the "assignment" and write down their names on a little whiteboard they were each given. Kazuki couldn't do much else other than stare at his though. Eventually, he forced himself to write down his ideas, even if he didn't like them.
The Monster Hero: Typhon, inspired by the myth of Typhon, the father of monsters. That's who he was, in a way. The creator of monsters and nightmares fueled by the negativity of people. That's who he was, in a way, especially considering his past.
The Hope Hero: Sunrise, inspired by his wish to bring something good with him, despite his power. He wanted to be that hero that, when things were at their worst, would make people feel better. Because they'd know that even if things were bad, especially if things were bad, he'd be able to help.
He wrote down more and more names, each aligning better with one side or the other. And never did he find one that he liked, that he thought fit. Some were too dark for him. Others were too bright for his Quirk.
Eventually, their time ran out.
People started moving to the front, picking names and having Midnight comment on them. Some were ok'd from the very beginning. Others had to be reworked. Some received comments and changed it even though they didn't need to. Through it all, Kazuki barely paid enough attention to listen to his own friends' choices.
Fresh-Picked Hero: Grape Juice.
Stealth Hero: Invisible Girl.
Everything Hero: Creati.
Hearing Hero: Earphone Jack.
Through it all, Kazuki stared down at his whiteboard. He wasn't the only one though. There were some that seemed to hesitate more, like him. Iida and Midoriya, mainly. They hadn't even gone to the front yet, much like Kazuki himself.
'Fuck it, let's try something and see what Midnight says. I can go from there,' Kazuki decided, but even then he couldn't bring himself to write down something. Dark or bright? What to choose? One or the other… 'Or maybe…'
If it didn't work, at least it should give him some nice feedback, at least.
Gulping down his nerves, he moved to the front of the class. Maybe it was his imagination and his own emotions at play, but he'd swear that the class got quieter than with others. Glancing around, he saw only supportive faces, at least from his friends and the teachers. Nobody got an expression like that out of Bakugo, after all.
With a deep breath in, he turned the whiteboard around.
"I… I wanted something to say… where I come from," he explained, even though few of the others had had to until they started talking with Midnight. He felt the need to justify his choice and at least that gave him an excuse not to look at anyone. Instead, his eyes remained on the board. "What I aim to help with and… what I want to avoid. I also wanted something to… strive towards. Something for my future, where I want to go and what I want to be. I want to bring people hope, even in their darkest moment so… so…" That's when his nerves got the better of him and he shrugged helplessly.
"I like it," Midnight told him, making him look up only to find a kind smile on her face. He could only return the gesture, if only slightly. "So, I think it works," she continued then, her soft expression contrasting a lot with the previous much more boisterous front she'd put. "The question is, do youlike it?"
Obviously, was the response that was at the tip of his tongue. He'd written it, hadn't he? Of course he liked it. He'd just… he hadn't thought it'd pass. He thought she'd call it silly, or contradictory, or maybe that it called too much attention to bad things, or… A number of other problems that he'd been telling himself would arise.
Kazuki hadn't expected for her to give her seal of approval.
So, turning the board towards himself, he read it one more time. He realized then that, yes, he did like it. Maybe it wasn't the most friendly or inspiring. Maybe there were more fitting names…
But this was what Kazuki wanted for himself. This was his past and his future in a name. This was him acknowledging what he'd done. This was him expressing what he wanted to be instead of what he was. Maybe it didn't fit his dreams or his Quirk, but it fit his past and his dream. It did fit him.
"... I like it," he said then, more sure of himself as he firmly turned the whiteboard around and presented it, for real this time. "This is who I'll be."
Because Kazuki would never deny his past. He couldn't and he didn't want to. The Black Rampage was a part of him, whether he liked it or not. It was a disaster that had marked him, in the eyes of the public and in his own eyes. Denying it would be useless and it was something he didn't want to do anyway. Kazuki wanted to accept that and turn it into something else.
Maybe one day, the name wouldn't remind people of the Black Rampage. That was what he hoped, at least. Maybe one day they'd be reminded of the incidents that'd he'd helped in, as a hero, instead of the one that he'd caused. That was his goal with that.
And then… who he wanted to be. When people were at their lowest, darkest point, he wanted to shine a light for them. He wanted people to see him or his grimm and think that they were safe. Because the worse the situation, the stronger he'd be and the stronger he was, the safer people would feel.
So, that was who he was, who he wanted to be and who he would be.
The Disaster Hero: Beacon.
Chapter 50
Kazuki sat at his desk, feeling kind of awkward.
His hero name choice had gone a lot more smoothly than he'd thought it would, for one. For another, he was still riding the anxiety he'd carried when he went to the front of the class to present his idea. Thus, he was left a little on the back foot, as it were.
"It's bullshit, man," Mineta said as they gathered to discuss the new information. "How do you get twenty seven offers when you were first place in the Sports Festival?"
"Beside the obvious?" Kazuki asked with a wry smile, only managing to piss off his friend more. Funnily enough, the anger pouring out of Mineta was actually rather nice, because he knew his friend was angry for him, on hisbehalf. It was… nice, indeed.
"There's also the fact that many of the people in my list are… not great choices," Todoroki commented, drawing attention towards him. To his credit, the half and half boy didn't feel too uncomfortable under the bunch of eyes locked on him. "Many come from who my father is, and many of them are low ranker hopefuls and such. Kazuki's situation is probably a lot more intimidating, even for those that would make offers."
"Indeed," Yaoyorozu joined in, making them turn towards her instead. "There's probably plenty of heroes that wouldn't mind teaching you the ropes, Endo, be it in combat, Quirk use or even general hero work. However…"
"However, those are not really my problems," he finished when she trailed off awkwardly. "I need help with… that," he added, waving his hand towards the window and sighing. "Yeah, I think I get it," he mumbled, deflating as he turned to read the sheet of paper that Aizawa had passed to him.
Then he blinked and straightened to read once more.
"Anyone interesting?" Hagakure asked excitedly, taking his sheet. "Don't mind if I do~. I wanna know how jealous I should… be…" she trailed off then as he continued to blink, wide-eyed. He didn't say anything, considering he was still processing some of the names he'd seen there. "You got four Top 10s, Creepy! Woah!"
"Wait, what?" Mineta asked, shocked and reaching for the paper himself. However, he was too slow, getting beat to the punch by Jiro.
"Gang Orca, Ryukyu, Hawks and Endeavor," Jiro read, her eyes growing wider with each of those names. Kazuki didn't miss the weird spike of emotion that came from Todoroki at that last one. However, the part that he found most notable was that he couldn't even place what those feelings had been, just that there'd been a spike. "Talk about Quality over Quantity, huh?"
"Man, can you give me one of those? What I wouldn't give to have an internship with Ryukyu," Mineta said, looking up dreamily and getting deadpans from everyone around. "What?"
"Never change, Tiny. Never change," Kazuki said, taking the list from his friend's hands. "I'll have to go over this, see my options. Top 10s sound great and all, but I have to see who can teach me the most, who fits me the most… And who I can benefit the most with," he explained, pursing his lips. "I doubt I'll take Endeavor's offer. He's great and all, but his reputation is already kind of shaky. He wouldn't be able to help me much with mine, I don't think. If anything, it'd probably make things worse for both of us. No idea why he sent me an offer… Er, no offense, Todoroki."
"None taken," his new friend reassured him, truly not seeming to be offended by any of that. Not that Kazuki was surprised, from what he knew. However, he also knew that sometimes things weren't quite so clear with shitty relatives. "I imagine it has to do with the fact that I used my fire against you. He probably thinks that if both of us go with him, it'll help me get better. So, I wouldn't take his offer. He probably doesn't care for helping you all that much, if at all."
"... Noted," Kazuki mumbled, leaning back. That was one option off his list, he supposed. He just needed to look up the rest of them, since he didn't even know most of… them… "Wasn't Midoriya like, a huge hero fan?" he asked then, looking up and making his friends blink. "And he's high in the class grade rankings, so put two and two together…"
"Hm, that's an interesting piece of information," Todoroki mumbled as they all turned towards the aforementioned green-haired teen. Midoriya seemed to notice the attention, because he turned and jumped a little on his seat when he saw them all staring at him.
"Hey, Midoriya," Kazuki said, not really having to raise his voice as he stood up, soon followed by his friends. "You are a hero super fan, aren't you?" he asked, pulling a chair and sitting in front of the boy, giving a nod to both Uraraka and Iida. He paused for a second at the later. There were a lot of emotions there to unpack but he could worry about that later.
'Looks like a mess for the teachers to deal with,' he thought, making sure to not completely dismiss the stream of negativity that came from the speedster. Iida might not be someone he was particularly close to, or at all, but he was a classmate and he'd never been too bad to Kazuki. A little stiff, as it were, but that was practically nothing as far as he was concerned.
Certainly better than some of the things he'd expected.
"I am, yeah," Midoriya replied, shifting in his seat nervously. Which might as well be his normal mode, really. There was a fair bit of embarrassment that confused Kazuki a little. Was he ashamed of his hobby? That was kind of silly. They were all hero students, which more or less translated to being hero fans, he supposed.
He wasn't too sure, since he'd kind of joined the life of hero-to-bes a lil' late.
"Did you need anything?" the green-haired boy asked hesitantly as he broke Kazuki from his own thoughts.
"I was wondering if you could help me with my list of offers, if it's not too much trouble," he asked, raising the aforementioned piece of paper up in the air. "I know you'll have to comb through yours and all that, but I don't know half of these people. So, I thought I'd try to get the opinion of an expert before just looking them up on the internet."
"I-I'm hardly an e-expert," Midoriya denied. However, it seemed like a good deal of his attention was caught by the list. Then his eyes widened as he took it. Kazuki was very pleased when he heard the other teen start muttering regarding the heroes that had offered him internships, even those that weren't the Top 10s. 'Gotta love when a plan goes smoothly,' he thought with a grin.
"I'm disappointed, in UA and in our heroes."
His expression twitched.
[}-o-{]
"You need something?" Aizawa asked once the class was over and everyone had left… except for Kazuki. Well, he'd had to make his friends leave and he was fairly sure that at least one of them was out the door, but still. He knew they had reason to be worried, especially if Hagakure had shared with them what she'd seen the previous day and such…
If he were honest, Kazuki was glad that someone cared.
Sure, it was a little annoying, but nobody had ever done stuff like that for him for the longest time. So, he wouldn't complain. As it was, he was glad for the company… for the most part. Not at that moment, but so long as they didn't go as far as having Hagakure or Jiro spying on him, then he'd be fine with their fussing.
"A few somethings," Kazuki answered hesitantly, gulping. To that, he only got a raised eyebrow from his teacher. Because of course Aizawa couldn't make things easy even if he wanted to. He could almost picture the man thinking "get on with it, kid", making him sigh. "Iida is… There's something going on there. A lot of anger and frustration, and it's not nice."
"There's nice anger?" Aizawa asked, more curious than anything, which caught Kazuki off guard. Weariness and annoyance bleed from him like they usually did. However, Kazuki was happy to note that there was less than usual, if that, which he liked to think was because his teacher might – dare he say it – liked him. The fact that there was almost no residual pain from the USJ incident was also pretty nice.
"I mean, no, but there's levels to it. Bakugo is always full of anger, but it's just that, anger. It doesn't seem… I don't know how to call it, focused? Malicious? It kind of is, but also not," he struggled then, because emotions were his trade, he'd lived with them, feeling them, for all his life. He'd gotten the hang of how they felt coming from people and what they could mean by then. He was getting even better ever since he joined U.A. and started actually paying attention instead of ignoring them.
However, explaining them was more difficult, as if he were trying to explain a color to a blind person.
"And you think Iida is… malicious?"
"Not him, his anger and… I don't know if I'd call it that, it's… complicated," Kazuki said, groaning in frustration before taking a deep breath in. "But there's something going on there, if only because he was nothing like that before. Back to Bakugo, at least he's constantly angry. I'd probably bring it up if he wasn't. So, with Iida…"
"I get it," Aizawa told him with a nod. "I just want to have all the information I can to make a decision. I'll bring this up with the other teachers so we can keep an eye on him. I already expect there's something to what you are saying, given…" he trailed off then, sighing. "Anyway, he seemed to be doing well enough to me, but maybe I'm not looking close enough. It can be hard, when there's so many problem children."
"Sorry," Kazuki apologized, knowing very well that he was probably one of those problem children.
"You are not high on that list, even if it probably surprises you," Aizawa admitted, making him blink. That was surprising indeed. "You bring problems, but you aren't a problem yourself. You are a good kid, Endo. Your situation is just bad," the man explained himself. Feeling dumb, Kazuki was more struck by the fact that he'd been called a good kid. That wasn't something he'd been told much in life, that was for sure. "Anything else in regards to Iida?"
"No, I don't think so. I'll keep an eye on him myself and tell you?" he asked more than stated, getting an appreciative nod from Aizawa. "Another thing I wanted is, um," he mumbled, feeling a little awkward after that conversation and how serious it was compared to the other things he had to say. Maybe he shouldn't have started with that? "I don't suppose I could get an opinion from you regarding my options?"
"... You are a smart kid," Aizawa told him, sounding amused by the question. "I'm sure you'll make the right call in regards to that without help."
"And if I wanted an answer anyway?" he asked, his nervousness catching up with him once more as he struggled not to fidget with the list in his hands. He didn't even know why he really wanted the advice. Sure, it'd be nice to get a second opinion from someone, but Aizawa was quite literally the worst person for him to approach.
He was always feeling like he had better shit to be doing than whatever it was he did, be it teaching or dealing with Kazuki as one of his handlers. However, he knew that it couldn't all be that for Aizawa. As a person that seemed very fond of his logic, the man wouldn't be doing something he despised. And yet, for advice, there were better teachers around, like Midnight or Present Mic, those were friendly enough. Hound Dog was already on his list for afterwards, but Kazuki wanted Aizawa's opinion.
Because he was there. Kazuki had many handlers but most of them were more hands-off than the weary underground hero. Sometimes he even felt it hard to call them by their actual names instead of just using their hero names. They were friendly, but they weren't friends.
Not that he'd call Aizawa one, but he was someone.
So, he wanted his opinion.
"... I guess I can take a look," the teacher replied, breaking Kazuki out of his thoughts. There was annoyance there, there was weariness and there were other emotions… But he still took it and Kazuki desperately wanted, once more, to be able to sense positive emotions too, because that'd make things so much simpler at times…
But still, he'd take what he could.
[}-o-{]
"God, I'd forgotten you are good with your fists too," Mineta huffed, lying on his back some distance away in the sparring circle to Kazuki's left.
"And with his feet," Hagakure muttered from somewhere in front of him while invisible. It was a little awkward, but she'd assured them that she was getting clothes specially tailored for her needs. If her word was to be believed, she was wearing what amounted to a bikini, which wasn't a whole lot but it was better than her being naked.
Not that Kazuki had tried to check.
He'd steered clear of that, just in case.
"What's it gonna be, Rocky?" Kazuki asked, glancing to the side where Jiro stood. She looked like a strong breeze would throw her to the ground, truly. Idly, he rubbed the back of his hand on his split lip.
"I'll call it a day, if it's all the same to you," the girl told him, making him grin. "Smug asshole."
"You know it."
"Interesting," Todoroki commented from his side as he looked around the sparring circle. "You are very good at non-powered fighting," he added then, turning his attention towards Kazuki.
"I had to be, using my Quirk was always a no-no in juvie and besides, you were a pussy if you used them anyway," he commented, grabbing his jaw and massaging it a little. "Damn it, Tiny, when did you get that strong? You punched Shinso like that?"
"Harder," his friend huffed, pushing himself up a bit with some effort.
"Absolute legend," Kazuki said with a chuckle. "Remind me to do something nice for you."
"I wouldn't say no to some wingman help, man," Mineta commented, making him laugh. Still, Kazuki heard the voice at the back of his mind, instantly.
"The Black Rampage was a disaster, a dark mark in our history and we are supposed to learn from history."
"But I'd settle for the anniversary package I was telling you about."
"Didn't it have a bunch of useless stuff?"
"I mean, yeah, but it had nice looking useless stuff," Mineta corrected, as if that made all the difference in the world. "And it's limited!" he added, clearly affected by the unimpressed look Kazuki was sending his way. "The mouse pad looks neat?"
"... You are weird, man, and I'm saying this as a fan of the game too," Kazuki replied with a wry smile but he still nodded his head. "I'll keep it in mind," he said, moving to take a seat to the side, next to Yaoyorozu, and drink some water.
"It was a good idea to ask Midoriya," the girl told him, making him turn towards the green-haired boy, who they could see training with Uraraka some distance away. "He said he'd make an analysis of the options for those that didn't get offers too," she added. Apparently, her voice wasn't quiet enough though, because he felt a few spikes of emotion around. From their friends, who were still recovering, they seemed to be trying to convince Todoroki to use his ice on them to help cool down their wounds, to some people in other nearby areas of the training facilities.
"I mean, it makes sense that the system would be there, people only send offers to students with similar skillsets or with crazy potential," he commented, trying to reassure some of the people around without actually addressing them. He supposed that'd be worse. "People without straight forward combative Quirks didn't get as much of a chance to shine, I guess. They can still make an impression during internships and such."
At least his friend group seemed to feel better after that, so he decided to take that as a win. The people around, well, he'd tried. Some of them even seemed to appreciate it, but he wasn't too sure.
"You think so?" Hagakure asked hopefully as she pulled herself to a standing position.
"If my situation wasn't what it is, I'd look into the standard list anyway. Who knows, there might be something more suited to me than the offers," he answered, without even having to lie. He'd really do that if he could. Alas, he didn't want to drop his bullshit on someone that hadn't chosen to bear with it. He'd make do with his list.
The fact that he had some good choices in there didn't hurt either, he supposed.
"I guess I hadn't thought of it like that," Yaoyorozu commented with a hum, turning to regard their friends, who were approaching the two. That was when Kazuki hummed back, rolling his shoulders as he regarded Todoroki.
"I think I'm ready for some Quirk training, what do you say, Fiery?" Kazuki asked the half and half guy. They hadn't been able to decide for a single nickname for him, so they'd given him a two in one combo, like with his Quirk, Fiery and Frosty.
"Sure," the boy agreed easily and Kazuki had to make sure it was all fine with his Quirk. It was a little awkward to figure out Todoroki at times, what with his… less than expressive ways.
[}-o-{]
"Good to see you here."
"Didn't think I'd come?" Kazuki asked, moving inside the room and taking his usual seat. "I'm hurt," he commented in jest. He could tell, just from the firm bitterness and sadness he picked up, that his attempt at levity fell completely flat. "I promised, didn't I?" he added, more serious.
"You did," Inui told him, looking at him from behind the desk. He always did that, always staring at him as if he were the only thing that mattered in the room. It was a little overwhelming at times, but also… nice, at others. "Thank you anyway."
"Why are you thanking me for coming?" Kazuki asked, not even having to feign honesty. "I'd have gone crazy without our chats. Why'd you expect me not to come?"
"Because, when people are at their lowest, many pull away from things that can help them. They believe they've fallen too far and only they themselves can get them out of that hole. They rationalize this in many ways, but it's what they do in the end, which is…"
"Irrational," Kazuki finished when the teacher seemed to look for the right word. "I know a thing or two about how people deal with low points in their lives," he commented, leaning back on his seat and glancing out of the window to his side. "I'm not going to lie. I considered not coming. Ultimately, I didn't think I had a real choice anyway."
"You always have a choice, Endo."
"So, you wouldn't have sent someone looking for me?" he asked, facing forwards towards Inui once more. "You wouldn't have demanded I come or had one of my handlers look for me and either have the conversation we are about to have at my place or bring me here?"
To his credit, Inui didn't deny the accusation.
"I get it," Kazuki continued with a half sad half bitter smile as he ran his fingers through his hair. "I know how it looks and I won't say I… I won't say I'm fine, but this is nothing. This is nothing compared to how I felt during and after the Rampage. This is nothing compared to how I felt during the Sports Festival. This is bad, but I've faced worse and I like thinking I did a good job."
"You are sure?" Inui said and Kazuki appreciated that there was more concern and curiosity there than actual doubt and condescension.
"I'm sure that I'll try to manage and ask for help if I can't," he replied, taking a deep breath in and then letting it out in a sigh. "That's the most I can promise though."
"And that's what we ask of you, Kazuki. We don't want to control you or pamper you. We want to help you. If you need help, ask, no matter how small or bothersome you might think the matter to be, it's what we are here for," Inui explained to him patiently and Kazuki appreciated, once more, the man's even tone. There was no patronizing tone or anything like that in his voice, ever.
"I thought you were here to be my therapist," Kazuki joked.
"I'm the student counselor, I help and I advise," Inui told him with a grin. "Sometimes that involves some… therapy, as you'd call it, but I'm not a therapist, just to let you know."
"Could have fooled me," Kazuki replied with a chuckle.
"So, are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"
"You are not that fat, Inui."
"Ha. Ha," the man "laughed" flatly, but otherwise remained silent. Kazuki almost would have preferred that the man forced the topic. Instead, he had to sit there for a long moment that lasted who knew how long before sighing.
"Do we have to?"
"We don't, but I believe it'd help," Inui answered, which might as well have been a yes. It was yet another thing that he wasn't sure if he preferred or not about the sessions.
"I knew my mother hated me. I knew that," he admitted, looking away and out the window once more.
"But?"
"But I still thought, I thought… I still thought that maybe she wouldn't, after all this time, after what happened, after… everything. There was a part of me that thought maybe she'd stop hating me, unlikely as it was. That maybe something would have changed her mind," Kazuki admitted, feeling more and more tired with every word. "There was a part of me that thought I might have a chance to have an actual mother."
"It's not a bad thing that you had hope, Endo," Inui told him and he wanted to scoff at that. It certainly felt like it was a bad thing. It hurt and it left him feeling like an idiot. He should be better. He shouldn't care for the woman. Instead, all he managed was to deflate where he sat. "I know you must disagree with me, but a life without hopes is hollow. It's a miserable existence that I wouldn't wish on anyone. So, hope. It'll hurt when your hopes don't come to pass, but when they do… When they do, it'll be one of the best things that can happen to you."
Kazuki considered that for a moment after Inui was done speaking. He remembered all the little hopes he'd held since he got out. Hopes for friends, for a chance, for a future and many more. Some of those hopes didn't come to pass, some of those were up in the air still, but some of those… Some of those had happened… and he couldn't say Inui was wrong.
"I know," he replied eventually. "It just sucks."
"Yeah, I know," Inui replied, giving him a sad smile.
"Do you mind if we don't talk about that for a bit?"
"You have anything else in mind for this session?" Inui asked, making him smile.
"Well, you said you give advice, right?" he commented as he leaned down to pull out his list from his backpack. "I could use some help deciding which hero to intern with."
"Any ideas? Preferences?" Inui asked, all business instead of his understanding persona. Therapist Dog had been replaced by Counselor Dog, it seemed.
"There's the one or two everyone would say I should go with, my favorite one and the one I think I should go with," Kazuki answered. "I really don't know if I got the right ideas about them."
"Well, let's see, shall we?"
Chapter 51
Kazuki sat outside of Hound Dog's office, looking over his list of internship offers. He'd checked with his phone on some of them and made some notes in a notebook himself. Just a few minutes before though, Midoriya had made an heroic appearance (sort of), texting him his analysis on them in general and according to what they could offer Kazuki himself.
It was… really good, actually. If the guy went ahead with that kind of work for everyone that asked him? Then they'd have to do something nice for him, because holy shit. He was going all out.
He was still sending stuff.
'Definitely gotta do something nice for the green guy,'Kazuki decided, devouring the analysis and trying to compare it with what he'd discussed with Inui. After that, he'd probably continue doing his own research and add to that whatever Aizawa suggested later.
He had a lot of stuff to look through in what little time they had to make a decision.
For the moment, he took a break from that to lean back on the slightly uncomfortable chair and massaged the bridge of his nose and his eyelids. He went to let out a weary breath before pausing as he heard a hum from his side. Turning, he saw Hagakure humming a song he didn't know to herself while hugging and petting the puppy beowolf he'd made for her when she was done with her own session.
"Having fun?" he asked, making her stop and turn towards him.
"Boy, am I?!" she exclaimed and he could almost see the smile on her face. He wished he could, really. Hagakure seemed like the kind of person that could just brighten a room with a smile. Hell, she could do it without one, literally and metaphorically speaking. It wasn't much of a stretch to assume as he did. "Session was good. I'm getting over… my hang ups," she commented, her mood dimming the smallest bit, which worried him a bit. She bounced right back afterwards though. "I'm doing better."
"I'm glad to hear that," he replied with a smile of his own. It wasn't much of one. He wasn't feeling great that day and he suspected that he wouldn't for a while, but he was feeling… better, he supposed. "Maybe you won't even need counseling anymore soon."
For whatever reason, she seemed disappointed to be told that.
"I guess you are right," she replied, her mood decidedly subdued. Kazuki was really confused by that, which must have shown, because then the girl continued talking. Or maybe she just figured he'd feel the change. "I guess I'm… a little sad about that. Not about recovering, of course, but this was a part of my day I looked forward to. It helped a lot, so I kind of… started liking coming, I guess."
"Well, Inui isn't just a therapist, or so I'm told. You can come for advice on stuff, according to him. Although, I imagine it must be mainly for advice regarding school stuff unless it's serious," he told her, making her perk up a little. To be honest, he wouldn't mind some company with his visits.
"I think I like the sound of that."
"He'll get tired of the lot of us, I feel," Kazuki commented, getting a giggle out of Hagakure. He would never get tired of hearing his friends laugh when he said something, or smile, or just… Any kind of positive feedback that he could see, or hear in this case. Because he lived with reminders of the negativity he could inflict on others. Maybe he'd annoy someone doing something, or sadden them, or disappoint them. He could catch every single one of those instances even if they hid it, or didn't even really care enough to show it, even if they were minimal.
Positive emotions, however, eluded him. They were rarer and hidden from his senses. So, having proof that he could bring up positive emotions in others was… It was an amazing feeling.
"I don't think you have to worry about that, Endo," Inui said from the door while Todoroki walked out. "I don't get nearly as much work as I probably should, so I don't mind helping you or your friends, even with less important things," the man told him – them, really – with a smile. It was reassuring to hear, Kazuki would admit. "Now, I believe that's all of you, unless you brought someone else other than Todoroki here?"
"Maybe next time," he commented jokingly. However, he could try to get other people to come for a visit. God knew there were many students he thought needed to talk with Inui. The man could make anyone feel better.
That only got a chuckle and a shake of the counselor's head while Hagakure giggled again.
"We'll try our best to drag other unsuspecting students to your clutches, Inui," the invisible girl said.
"Thank you, Hagakure," the man said dryly. "Now, off you go. This is not a hang out spot."
"Could have fooled me," Kazuki replied, but he did set his things back inside his backpack and stood up. "We do have places to be though, I guess. If I can even leave the school."
"Hm, maybe I can help you with that then, since there's nobody else here right now," Inui offered while Kazuki felt his phone vibrate with a new message. Curiously, he went to check it while opening his mouth to accept the help. However, he closed it again a second later.
"Taken care of already," he read in the message from Nezu. He'd forgotten he even had the man's number, actually. It had come with his phone, along with the numbers of his handlers and others he might need, but he never used most of those other than for sending proof of where he was and such.
"The headmaster says it's handled," he commented, not looking up from the screen. A moment later, he sent a 'thank you' in response before looking up. "Thanks for the offer though, Inui."
"Here to help, Endo. See you next time then."
And that was that, while they went to leave the school. They'd be meeting the rest of their friends in an agreed spot and this was kind of an important day, since Todoroki was joining them outside for the first time. Not everyone knew what was up with him, but they were friendly or perceptive enough to agree to make a little more of an effort for this outing.
Kazuki just had great friends all around, really.
"I know you don't have faith in people, Endo. But we do have your back," Nezu wrote back to him, making him blink. Well, that looked very blunt, especially the first part. "You've been doing a great job so far. Much better than I had anticipated, which doesn't happen often," the principal continued, which made him both curious and a little confused. "It's also a little late, but I wanted to congratulate you on winning the Sports Festival, Endo. Keep it up."
He read those messages and, even after putting the phone away and even talking with his two friend, Kazuki couldn't help but repeat them in his mind. Nezu was a strange… guy, animal or whatever. He'd just dropped by one day at juvie, gotten him out and offered him a dream of an opportunity. And then, he'd just dropped off the face of Earth until that day. He was pretty sure he hadn't traded one word with the principal at all since he'd accepted the offer.
"Thank you. I'll do my best," he replied after some time, uncertainly.
"They are just the best," Hagakure said from off to the side, squishing the puppy in her arms so hard Kazuki wondered if it'd turn to dust. "They are soft and nice and cute. What's not to love?"
"Hm, if you said so," Todoroki replied, his expression flat as usual. "Maybe I'll ask for one. They do look… comforting."
"Just say the word, man. Do you want a beowolf or something else?" Kazuki asked, bringing attention back to himself. He raised an eyebrow at the half and half boy, a curious smile on his face. He hoped he didn't look like he was mocking him though. God knew he'd used his own puppy grimm for comfort himself.
"Hm… What do you think?" he shot back with a tilt of his head.
"Oh, oh, I know!" Hagakure exclaimed, bouncing on her feet excitedly and raising her arm as if she were in class. "The King Taijitu!"
"That's… the snake one, right?" Todoroki asked, his expression turning thoughtful when Kazuki nodded. "I guess it's fitting, half white, half black," he added, running a hand through his hair as if to make the "fitting" part more obvious. "Yeah, maybe that one."
"I mean, if you like the idea, sure," Kazuki replied. "Doesn't really have to fit you."
"Hm, I'll think about it."
[}-o-{]
Some time later and without any grimm puppies in sight, since they were now out and in public, they walked into a particular store.
"We shouldn't be surprised that the rich girl knows how to play the piano, right?" Kazuki commented, making their friends at Jiro's music store turn towards them. "Way to play into those stereotypes, huh?"
"I guess I can't argue with that," the aforementioned rich girl replied bashfully.
"Nothing wrong with that," he added. He'd meant it more as a joke than anything. "You play really well too," he praised, knowing that'd bring her mood up. For someone as talented as she was, Yaoyorozu was very insecure, he'd learned. Having gotten a smile from the girl, he mentally patted himself on the back.
"Say, my father has been waiting to hear you again, or so he tells me," Jiro told him, a smudge of annoyance in her voice. "I'm opening with that because I know he'll be annoying if I don't get you to play."
"I have no problem with that," he replied with a smile. Then his expression dimmed the smallest bit. "I kind of want to play something, actually," he added, getting some interested looks from the rest of their friends. He didn't answer the unspoken questions though.
"Sure thing. The usual?" Jiro asked, moving to pick up the violin he always played, to which he nodded with a small smile. It wasn't a sad smile, but it wasn't a happy one either. Bittersweet at best, he'd say.
He took the instrument then, taking a moment to look at it.
"I'm disappointed."
With a deep breath in, he prepared himself and then just started playing. He hadn't played the song in forever, it felt, but it was the one he'd learned the best. Even better than the one he'd wanted to play for his mother. It was, after all, the song he'd learned after that. The one song he'd started to learn and play when it started to sink in that maybe nobody would ever like him.
The song of a cursed child, he liked to think.
He closed his eyes and he could almost picture himself back then, practicing and practicing without stopping. He'd played the song until it hurt. He'd played the song becauseit hurt. He'd played the song because he was hurting, angry and sad.
And so Kazuki played it.
He messed up several times, rusty as he still was. He'd never been a master player of any kind and the song was notoriously difficult. He continued playing, however. 'Fix it next time,' he told himself, and kept going. Because there was nothing worse than stopping mid song and starting all over again or repeating a part.
He preferred to power through, even if the song was ruined by mistakes. At least, that way, he wouldn't frustrate himself into giving up if a part gave too much trouble. Life was hard enough. If he stopped at any setback, then he was screwed. So he felt, even if he hadn't quite carried that attitude through life as he had with music.
He could continue to try, however.
Kazuki could only try.
Eventually, he finished the song. His arms felt tired, numb. His back was sweating. His breathing was ragged and his eyes didn't focus on anything. It took him a long moment to get it together, a long silent moment, but he wasn't focusing on that.
"Fucking hell, I suck," he cursed under his breath, deflating a little as he finally relaxed completely. He needed to start practicing that piece more. That was just embarrassing.
"What the fuck?" one of his friends exclaimed, making all of then turn towards the person with wide eyes. After all, it wasn't everyday that one heard Momo Yaoyorozu curse. "Um, excuse me," she mumbled, coughing behind her fist embarrassedly. "I just… Why would you say that? You were great."
"There were like a ton of mistakes," he answered, rolling his eyes. "I never got it perfectly, but I was much better than that when I was a kid," he muttered. Setting the violin down, he sighed. "I'm rusty as all hell."
"To quote Beauty, what the fuck, man?" Mineta asked, making him groan. "I mean, if you say so, and all that, but that sounded amazing to me. What was that?"
"My song," he answered, looking at the instrument.
"You wrote it?" Hagakure asked excitedly, to which he snorted.
"I wish," he said, chuckling. "No, it's just something I started practicing way back. I started calling it my song. My favorite piece, the one I played for myself."
"Does it have a name?" Jiro asked, staring at him intently, as if that way she could get all the information she wanted out of him. He gave her an amused smile at the intensity.
"Devil's Trill Sonata," he answered, taking a deep breath in, still recovering.
"Well, if I may," Todoroki said, interrupting questions that Kazuki didn't feel ready to answer. He was a bro like that, he supposed, even if he probably had no idea the bullet he'd helped Kazuki dodge. He'd have to do something nice for him, if he kept that up. "It was a beautiful piece. I really enjoyed listening to it."
"As did I," Jiro's father said from off to the side. "God, kid, if you keep this up, I'll give you the thing just to keep you playing for me."
"I'm saving to buy it, actually, but it'll take a while," Kazuki commented with a smile. "These things are entirely too expensive."
"Well, let me know when you are close, I can give you a friend's discount," the man told him with a good natured laugh. "Or maybe family's discount, eh, Kyo?" he added, winking at his daughter who turned bright red.
There were small spikes of emotion coming from Hagakure and Yaoyorozu then, which he supposed were commiserating with the poor, very embarrassed girl. Kazuki laughed at the joke with the man anyway, but he did make a note to not make that kind of joke himself. No need to cause that kind of reaction. Not that he would have, but it was good to know anyway.
"The friend's discount sounds good, sir," he replied, getting a raised eyebrow from the man.
"Didn't I tell you not to call me sir, kid?" the man asked, a tiny amount of annoyance spiking in him.
"You did… sir," Kazuki replied, getting a groan out of him.
[}-o-{]
"What I mean, to say, is that, just because your Quirk isn't as strong as others, it doesn't mean you are weak, Tiny," Kazuki said, rolling his eyes as he waved his hand holding a glass with soda. "Look at Bakugo. What's he gonna do if you get him stuck? Blow himself up?"
"He might," Jiro replied, drawing laughs and giggles.
"You are not wrong, but my point stands," Kazuki commented with a chuckle. "Todoroki would wreck you, but Bakugo is around the same level and you could screw him over. Any Quirk can be a game changer in the right situation."
"I get it, I get it, sheesh," Mineta muttered, annoyed, but not nearly as much as he showed, like usual. "I just said I'm not Sports Festival winner material, not that I sucked or anything."
"Empath, Tiny," Kazuki reminded him, drawing an embarrassed blush from his friend. He grinned at his own victory before continuing. "So, yeah, I'm not gonna let you beat yourself up. You are an U.A. student. Do you think they pick just anyone for a spot in their hero course? Have some faith, man."
"If this is the treatment we can expect from punching Shinso, then I'm kicking him where nobody should be kicked next time I see him," Hagakure commented, drawing a laugh from both Mineta and Kazuki.
"Hagakure!" Yaoyorozu exclaimed, scandalized, which only made them laugh harder.
"That's more than what… Tiny did," Todoroki pointed out, pausing at the nickname for a second. He seemed entirely too serious trying to use them even though it was painfully obvious that he didn't completely get what that was all about. "Is that for anything in particular?" he asked, completely sincere curiosity on his part.
However, he didn't realize the spot in which he put the poor invisible girl. Immediately, there was a spike of embarrassment coming from Hagakure and annoyance from Yaoyorozu. Mineta and Jiro, for their part, turned towards the girl with matching grins.
"Yes, Bubbly," Jiro started, leaning towards the invisible girl. "Are you trying to get something from poor Creepy?" she asked, making Hagakure feel even more embarrassed, which was all fine and dandy, but he'd rather not feel that second hand.
"I appreciate the thought, but I think I'd rather nobody else get in trouble," he said then, and he grinned at the way Hagakure deflated in relief. "Did any of you get any of Midoriya's essays, because I swear I owe that guy actual money for the work he put on my internship info. Holy shit."
"Language."
"Way to ruin the fun, Creepy," Mineta commented flatly, but with a grin on his face. "But yeah, he's sending an analysis of the forty general offers that the school has for those without actual offers," he added. "Guy is a life saver. A true hero without cape."
"He doesn't have a cape as part of his costume, no," Todoroki commented, the saying flying over his head.
"Heroes without capes is what people call others when they are very helpful, or generally act hero like or "hero like" without being actual heroes," Kazuki explained. "Like Mineta, being a hero without cape when he punched the mean villa-I mean, Shinso," he added with a chuckle.
"Ah, I think I understand," the half and half boy replied, his expression flat even though Kazuki picked up some shame there.
"Don't worry about it, man. I miss some stuff at times too. Not every saying I know is… child friendly, considering around half of my life was spent around criminals," he reassured, leaning forward to pick up one of the snacks they'd gotten for themselves. "We'll be learning together at times. If you don't get something, just ask, yeah?"
"Ok," Todoroki said with a nod. "Thank you."
"Don't mention it," he waved off, taking a sip from his drink.
"Actually, could I talk to you, Endo?... In private?" the boy asked, making him turn to give him more attention. The rest of the table was obviously curious, but they remained silent… even if they were staring.
"Sure thing, man," he agreed easily and they stood up, moving further away. A look to Jiro showed him how she capped her jacks, something that he knew meant she couldn't hear more than normal. "What is it?"
"I just wanted to… talk, about some things. I talked with Inui and it was… helpful," the boy told him, hesitantly. "I wanted to talk to you about some of them too but…"
"Not with the others around. I get that," he finished, trying to put his best understanding expression.
"Indeed," the other boy agreed with a nod. "I… went to visit my mother."
"How'd it go?" Kazuki asked then, holding back a grimace.
"Sorry, for not having been able to keep this from happening. I'm sorry for contributing to this. To all his victims, I'm sorry."
"It went… better than I expected," Todoroki answered and Kazuki smiled for his friend, even if he felt a stab of bitterness himself. The guy had nothing to do with his situation though, he deserved better than him being envious. He'd come out of a shitty situation, after all. Kazuki's dream was to help those like him, like them, so he'd be happy for Todoroki and that would be that. "We talked a bit and she seemed… better. I wish I had gone sooner."
"Well, you've got plenty of time to catch up," Kazuki pointed out, drawing a smile from Todoroki.
"We do," the half and half boy agreed, a slight smile forming on his face. "I wanted to thank you, Endo. It's nice to… to be able to talk. So, thank you."
"Don't mention it," he said, palming the other boy's arm. "What are friends for, right?"
"... Indeed."
[}-o-{]
The day had ended and Kazuki felt better in general.
At some point, he'd just… turned back to normal, as it were. He'd smiled honestly, he'd joked freely, he'd felt well and truly himself. There were no muted emotions, even if he still felt his mood drop at times. He was back to the Kazuki Endo he'd been before the Sports Festival.
People hadn't even recognized him, which he'd been a little worried about. Maybe people hadn't expected him to have friends, so some that might have noticed looked away or something like that. Maybe nobody had looked closely enough. Maybe his friends had even helped without him knowing. Regardless of the how or why, he was grateful for the fact that nobody had caused a scene about him and he was able to have a normal day once more.
Coming back home, he'd even done so with a smile on his face, equal parts happy and relieved.
He was even content with how things had gone at school. He'd picked a hero name that he could wear without worrying, even if he wasn't sure if it'd stick. He'd gotten some damn good offers for internships that spoke well for the future he hoped for. He'd trained, and spent time with his friends, and talked with Inui.
So, there he was, ending a good day and hoping for another that would go just as well as that one had.
He took a seat at his table, closed his eyes and looked at the ceiling. The smile on his face remained as he just basked on the good emotions. Not even his Quirk's feedback could mute those down.
He'd thought the world was crashing around him, during and after the Sports Festival. Overwhelmed by negativity, the news and his mother, he'd felt so… heavy. It had felt like nothing good could ever happen again to him, like he was trying to change the course of a river with his hands.
Now though, he was back to feeling well. Maybe there'd be bad moments like those, maybe there'd even be worseones. However, he felt like they'd end at some point. His life wouldn't crash and burn like that, at least not if he kept going. Like playing the violin, he supposed. There'd be the mess ups and the good parts, he just needed to push through the formers and keep playing.
'I can do that,' he thought, taking a deep breath in and then letting it out. As he deflated though, he felt his good mood go with the air in his lungs. 'I can do it… So why?'
Why indeed.
He was feeling happy. He was feeling hopeful. He was feeling good.
So… why did he reach for the controller?
Why did he turn on the TV?
Why did he hit play?
"I'm disappointed, in UA and in our heroes in general, for allowing a travesty such as this…"