When I reached college, Joshua was waiting for me in the parking lot. There were going to be so many changes that I would witness, and it began with the parking lot.
The incident that took place in the changing room was plastered in my head. I was trying my best not to get flustered, but his face was making me fail miserably. We greeted each other, and that smile, oh God, always made my heartbeat faster. I couldn't help myself from feeling 'shy'.
We started walking together towards class, and as we were passing, everyone's eyes were on us, more on Joshua. I was receiving death glares from them; like, seriously, give me a damn break.
Joshua's hand was itching to reach me one way or another; my glare and resistance were keeping him at bay, but whenever we were alone, I couldn't or didn't want to stop his approach; his touches were torturous. I was barely controlling myself, and at the end of the day, resisting his approaches always resulted in depleting my energy.
We both noticed that not only were girls not giving threatening glares, but our few friends were annoyed and started showing it on their faces too. I received complaints that I was not spending enough time with them, like they would care if I was alone. When my involvement was more with Joshua, now everything related to me mattered; they even complained. I couldn't help but take it as a joke. One thing was clear no matter what: I couldn't control Joshua entirely. Day by day, we were craving each other's touch and also each other's company. I couldn't distance myself from him; it would be better if my friends digested it soon, which would be very good for their own benefit.
We always tried our best not to display our affection and romance in front of our friends for obvious reasons, but it was proving hard when we were in class. His hand would always be mischievous, and when we finished our day, we would end up getting flustered. At night, it was painful; his sexy chats and his discussion about all the things he was planning to explore with me were making it even harder. We had not yet had 'sex' yet, but I was looking forward to it like a hungry dog. I even started masturbating by remembering Joshua.
Till now, we had our romantic sessions in empty classes, changing rooms, and even the parking lot. If I agreed to go to the beach with him, there was a high chance of losing my virginity. If I thought losing my virginity to Joshua only made my arousal even more.
These days, I am smiling more, and most of the time without reason. Mrs. Sandra was very happy to see me this way and even asked me the reason for the same, I tried to change the topic; she guessed I neither denied nor accepted. I can't imagine anyone like Joshua entering my life and daring to do as he pleases. How the hell did I even get entangled with him? I can't help but chuckle while remembering everything.
I needed time to accept Joshua's proposal. One of the reasons was my dad, and another reason was that everything was going too fast, not that I regret it a bit. I still feel like I need to take some time, but I am not feeling guilty for enjoying my romantic life with a guy like Joshua; I couldn't ask for anyone more perfect than him.
Now I need to concentrate on the biggest task, the outing planned by Joshua. I have not asked my dad's permission, but I can't deny that I was excited. Every second spent with Joshua was an amazing feeling. When the person on whom you have a crush gives you first preference and cares for you without giving a damn to people who are around, that feeling is bloody awesome. Joshua was my crush at first, and when I saw him, my heart skipped a beat. I wouldn't dare to approach him, but when I was approached, I couldn't stop myself. The holding power that he has over me amazes me.
I had strongly decided I was going to discuss this with my dad over bloody-perfect family dinner time. After a very long time, I have made up my mind for my sake to get 'yes' from him, no backing out, and not this time. I need this trip with Joshua. I need to spend more time with him in front of a mirror. I was making up my mind. This was torment. I was preparing myself for every comeback of my dad, calculating pros and cons, and thinking, What if he asks this and that bullshit? How the hell was I going to oppose him? It was going to be tough shit, but I have made up my fucking mind.
It was almost dinner time. I made my way towards the dining table, and my parents and my sisters were waiting for me. I took my seat; it's now or never, and we started having dinner. As per tradition, the conversation would always start with taunting and lecturing me about being perfect. Either way, I would get those, so it is better to start with what I have prepared for myself till now.
"Dad, I need to speak with you." Without taking his eyes from the plate, he spoke. "Go on." I cleared my throat a few times. "I need a weekend break from coaching class, only this weekend." Hmmm,"And why do you need a break?"
It's been a long time I had stopped lying to my dad because fear he would catch my lies easily and now it feels like first time when we need something strongly than lies will flow without bloody hesitation and so was my case.
"My friends had planned a weekend trip, and they invited me; it's been a very long time, and I am thinking of going." As usual, he was annoyed. "Give me a damn good reason why I should agree to this bullshit of yours, like have you done something to make me proud? If I remember correctly, you are not good at least at one thing. Why the hell should I give you permission?" Here we fucking go again. "Dad, I am doing my best. I am the topper in my class, good at the languages I have enrolled in, and captain of the football team. I am 17. I have tried my best. I am not going to give up. I will meet your expectations in the future too. I need a break; it's been a long time since I have hung out with friends. I have never missed any coaching class. Am I not obedient enough? That reason is not enough for giving permission."
There was a silence. Of course, trying to digest my outburst, there should be a fucking limit to everything. Why can't he just give Dam permission this time?
"I am not getting why I am hearing complaints. For God's sake, in the future, there is going to be a bloody competition every fucking day. You need to prove yourself every day without taking a break; only then can you survive in this bloody world, and I am making sure you are capable of swimming. I am not going to let any other surname rule my company other than mine. What is bloody wrong with asking to be perfect? Was it too much?"
He and his fucking perfect bullshit. Perfect can only be found in the dictionary and not anywhere else; bloody sure, not in me, no matter how much I try.
"It was not too much. As I said, I am doing my best. This is my teen life; once it's finished, I am going to be an adult. I can barely enjoy as things are going; I am going to have a shitty life." "The life you are calling shitty—most people would die for it. Do you have any idea how you feel about being powerful, respected everywhere, and ruling in most places, and not to forget the rich life you are going to lead? As I said, few people would kill to get your shitty life." I took a long sigh, he will always exhaust me.
"Dad, I know I have heard this umpteenth time; all I am asking is for one weekend. I need a break; it's not that I have lacked anywhere. I am proving constantly, and I deserve this break." "When are you going to come out of enough and carve for more? I am not getting it. How the hell are you going to survive? Ok, only this weekend.I will speak with your professors. Let this not become a habit. I am not getting why I agreed; trust me, you don't deserve a break, not even a day. Don't get into any trouble. Am I clear?" "Yes." "I hope it's crystal; I am fed up with repeating, but you are not hearing, or else I would not get this whining from your end. Anyway, only this weekend." "Ok, thank you." "I don't want your thank you; instead, be the man I am pouring my energy into, and you better make it worth it." "Ok."
With that, our conversation ended. Only sounds of using that we are using could be heard.
I should be bloody happy he finally permitted me, but I was enraged by his constant display of annoyance toward me. This dad of mine was fucking hard to please.