That was the best sleep I had since the day I found out that Father was leaving for war.
When I got up I was in a tent with Jasper sleeping next to me and Father was outside with Millard.
As soon as I moved, Jasper's eyes opened and he looked at me from his bed.
'By the way, how did Father even bring bed here?' I questioned myself.
I sigh and do not question it.
I got up and pulled the sheets from my body and stood on the carpet which was set on the grass.
I could hear movement behind me and heard Jas following me.
"Are you not going to ask anything?" he asked, his voice a little scratchy.
"Do you really need to, you both really had something to talk about - that definitely involved me- without me knowing." I shook my head and looked at him over my shoulders, "I am young but not dumb."
I continue walking outside, lifting the tent's flaps.
I watched as Millard and Father were gathering everything and packing all the stuff we brought.
He looked over at us and the first thing I did was, "How could you make me sleep like that?!" say that as loud as I can.
"What?" I heard Father say and Jasper also says that behind me but probably more to himself then me.
I went up to him, a lot shorter than him, which I am starting to feel annoyed about.
"Never do that again." I say point blank and start helping gather stuff.
All three of them stared at me and then started their work with confusion, while I chuckled from inside.
'Payback was needed. Revenge success.'
Packing up didn't take long since Millard was impossibly efficient and father's magic was the most extra edition of an effective packing.
I was mostly standing doing the most small tasks like holding stuff and just more holding stuff.
After everything was done we walked towards our ride and then I saw the cursed carriage again.
'Oh hell no...'
Father stretched and rolled his shoulders as he said, "Alright, boys, let's head down."
I immediately moved towards the horses, fully prepared to ride.
"You two are taking the carriage," Father said as he mounted his horse.
Jas sighed and shook his head.
"Absolutely not."
"You sure?" he smirked and looked at me, "you had such a peaceful ride."
"If peaceful means almost dying then yes it was very peaceful."
"Either way, you will need the rest. The walk down will take longer and you will be exhausted before we even reach home."
"No." I stood firm in my resolve on not getting inside that carriage.
"Okay," he raised an eyebrow and nodded, turning towards Jas, "Jasper.."
Jas sighed, nodded and the next thing I know is I am being dragged and thrown inside the carriage.
Fast but gently.
"WHY?" I almost yelled at him.
He just shrugged and said "we will be here all day if this continues."
Before I could argue back, the carriage starts and so does the ride to hell.
It was somehow worse going down.
Everything was intensified, every bump, every sharp turn, made me reconsider my life choices.
Jas was more calm this time, just looking out the window and not even bothered anymore.
"This is inhuman..." I murmured as I rubbed my temples.
"This is war." He says agreeing with me but still looking like he is not affected and just staring out the stupid window.
"You think this is funny, throwing my words back at me?" I glared at him.
Before he responded the carriage of death jumped and I was thrown onto the other side.
Jasper caught me with lighting speed.
"Thanks..." I say and decide to sit next to him.
I sigh, finally having enough and surround the carriage with my magic. Slowly the blue mana covered me and Jasper, then the carriage and the horses.
I focused while Jasper looked at me with a frown.
"Wait Kaan-"
He was about to say something but I activated the teleportation spell and with a blinding light we disappeared.
I opened my eyes and moved towards the carriage door.
I opened it and we were inside the Manor.
"Finally." I said and walked inside leaving everyone behind dumbfounded.
'To the day and night of the war, sleepless and restless. We shall have done everything to stop but it's me who is frozen shut.'
I thought as I prepared for tomorrow.
***
I woke up before the sun had fully risen, but the estate was already alive with movement. Servants rushed back and forth, loading supplies onto the carriages. Soldiers stood ready in their polished armor, waiting for their commander.
Waiting for Father.
I barely ate. Neither did Jasper.
And when the time finally came, I felt something inside me crack.
'What is this..'
I clenched my fists over my heart, pulling at my clothes as I watched him standing by his horse, giving final instructions to Millard. Every word, every movement, made it more real.
I blink.
And blink.
And blink.
...
He was actually leaving.
'And I...'
I couldn't stop it.
Before I realized what I was doing, my feet moved on their own.
"Father!" I called out, voice sharper than I intended. I felt myself shake from every emotion flowing out for my body.
He turned toward me just as I lunged forward. But before I could reach him, arms grabbed me—Jasper and Millard, holding me back.
"Let me go!" I struggled, my breath uneven. "He can't— He can't just—!"
Father approached me, his expression unreadable. Then, without a word, he reached out, ruffling my hair.
I look up at him, his eyes soften but filled with fire, almost like molten lava.
'He-he knows he is breaking me...' I thought as I tried to steady myself but my body and feelings were not listening to my head.
Definitely a first.
"Cut your hair," he said, his voice calm. "I always liked it short."
And then—
He turned and walked away.
Leaving all of us behind.
I felt Jasper's grip tighten slightly as if anchoring me. Millard, silent as ever, kept his hold firm.
I didn't even realize a tear had slipped down my cheek until I spoke.
"I need a haircut." My voice was a little choked.
Millard nodded, stepping away to prepare.
Jasper, still holding me, exhaled quietly. He didn't say anything. Just stayed there.
Like he always did.
***
The quiet snip of the scissors filled the room. Millard worked with practiced ease, trimming away strands of my hair while I sat still, eyes unfocused.
Jasper leaned against the wall, watching silently.
I felt every cut.
Every small piece of myself is falling away.
Like shedding something old.
Like moving forward—whether I wanted to or not.
Millard dusted the last stray hairs from my shoulders before stepping back.
"It's finished, young master."
I blink.
"It's done, My lord."
Millard removed the cloth he used and I looked at the mirror.
My hair is short and dark.
My eyes are deep blue and with waves of determination and a hint of sadness hidden in the depth.
I am wearing my commander's attire.
I looked at Jasper through the mirror. "What do you think?"
"You look good, fresh." He says as he stops leaning and stands firm.
I nodded and stood up. With quick strides I was out of the room, Jasper on my toes as always.
"Let's dance." I say to which Jasper chuckled and probably nodded.
'For the dead...'