KeLani pov
Mama doesn't know I can control my powers now. I've been practicing while she sleeps or when she leaves the room. The pink-purple smoke that comes from my hands isn't scary anymore—it's mine to command. But using it makes me so tired that sometimes I sleep for almost the whole day. That's okay though. Mama thinks I'm just a heavy sleeper, like all little kids are supposed to be.
She doesn't want me to meet her family, and I don't mind not meeting them. I only need her in my life anyway. They're the ones who sent her to that bad place where those mean people hurt her. The book ttells all about it—how they didn't believe her when she said she didn't hurt her sister, how they thought she was crazy, how they forgot about her when they thought she died.
Sometimes I want to tell Mama that we should leave this big house and find our own home again, just for us with nobody else around. But I know it's not safe right now. The bad people are hunting for Mama now that they know she's alive.
I like Mama being mine only—just me and her against the world, like she always says. She doesn't need her bad family, even if they're sorry now. Sorry doesn't fix what they did to her. Sorry doesn't take away her bad dreams or the way she jumps when people move too fast around her or when people try to touch her.
This morning, I woke up early and watched Mama sleeping beside me. She looked peaceful without her worried face—younger, like in the pictures she showed me once. I tried to move a little to reach my stuffed rabbit, but Mama's arm tightened around me in her sleep, pulling me against her chest. I squirmed a bit before giving up and just laying there, listening to her heartbeat until she woke up.
Mama's mind has been all over the place since that night everyone found out about me. Sometimes she does that thing where she plays with my hair and rocks us side to side without even realizing she's doing it. That's how I know she's thinking about something serious—when she rocks me but her eyes are looking at nothing.
She's been even more careful about hiding me. Every time she hears footsteps in the hallway, she covers me up with her darkness right away, even if I'm in the middle of eating or playing.
"Stay still, treasure," she always whispers. "Don't make a sound."
I do what she says, of course. I'm good at being quiet and invisible. I've had lots of practice.
But sometimes I wonder what would happen if her family saw me. Would they think I look like Mama? Would they be nice to me? The lady with the voice like Mama's—her twin sister—she seemed like she might be okay.
My poison powers are only for protecting her, for making sure that this time—in this life—she doesn't die in S City like she always does in the book. This time will be different because this time she has me.
Last night, I heard Mama talking on the phone very quietly while she thought I was asleep. She was talking to Uncle (JackJack) Jackson, asking him to find out more about a man named Kaison Monroe and something about Crystal City. She sounded confused and scared, which made me scared too. I don't like it when Mama doesn't know what to do. She's always supposed to know everything.
After the phone call, she sat by the window for a long time, just staring out at the dark garden. I pretended to be asleep, but I watched her through my eyelashes. She kept touching her lips and then shaking her head, like she was remembering something she didn't want to remember.
I wonder, she just says, "You're mine, treasure. That's all that matters."
Either way, I hope she stops being so sad soon. I miss her smile—her real smile, not the one she puts on just for me when she's trying to pretend everything is okay.
For now, I'll keep practicing my poison powers in secret, getting stronger every day so I can protect Mama from whatever is coming. Because something is coming—I can feel it, like the feeling in the air before a big storm.
And when it comes, I'll be ready.