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Joey sat on a rock with his team and looked out at the choppy waves hitting the shore south of Fuschia.
Not just any rock, but a rock that was sort of shaped like a dick.
Hilarious.
"Seven badges," Joey said in a satisfied tone of voice as he smelled the salt.
They were surrounded by trees and tall grass. Well, the grass around Slugma wasn't quite that tall anymore.
"Ratt," his starter muttered discontently from Joey's shoulder.
The trainer simply laughed. "We're all together in this one," he said with a grin. "Koga literally beat all our asses." He shook his head. "You know, Koga has the potential to be an Elite Four member one day. There's no shame in losing to him five to three."
"Mis, mis."
"Ok, yeah, maybe it would have been five to two. He could have won without using that last Explosion, but still, let me have my fantasy."
"Dig, dig?"
"What now?" Joey asked aloud. "Well, first we take a short break. We've been training and battling like maniacs ever since we fought Blaine two months ago. A few days of rest will do us some good.
"Slugmmmaaaaaaaaaaaa," the fire-type said contentedly. She was perhaps the only one on the team who knew to enjoy relaxation when the opportunity arose.
The rest of the team protested.
"Oh shut it," Joey complained as he opened his backpack and pulled out the large bag of Pokepuffs he'd splurged on. "If anything, I need a break. Just give me three days of rest, I swear our efficiency will actually improve. Take a few walks, go to the theatre, check out some restaurants and watch Jessie's contest." He fed a pokepuff to the Rattata on his shoulder, who grumpily started munching on it.
Joey proceeded to throw the respective snacks to the rest of his team.
"After that, we'll be pushing for the eighth badge. You'll be begging me for a break after I ride all your asses," he cursed quietly. "Koga offered us to train here for the conference. The faster we do King, the faster we're back. If we can't beat King in two months, I'm eating my hat."
"Slugma?"
"No, I don't want to eat it, it probably tastes horrible, and it's definitely impossible to chew," Joey muttered. "The point of the saying is that… you know what, forget it." He sighed and lay down so that his back rested on the rock and his eyes looked upwards at the perfectly blue sky.
It was starting to get hot.
Summer was here.
He felt Rattata poking his cheek with a paw. "Rattata." A complaint.
Joey's eyebrow twitched.
"I'll tell you what we'll work on, but after that, I want all of you to forget what a battle even is," he said. "I guess picking Pokemon by motivation and grit does create a team that detests periods of rest," he muttered more quietly.
The paw poked his cheek again.
"Rattata, you have the most to work on. We've been focusing on Detect for more than a year now, and you've finally mastered it to the point that you can use it in combination with most of your other moves. You'll always struggle against ranged attackers, but that's just life. There's a bunch of moves we've neglected. Pursuit and Sucker Punch will let you close the gap, especially against psychics, which will be important for the conference. We only need one, though, so I was thinking of Sucker Punch. In addition to that, you really need Super Fang to just delete some of the opposition. That's two moves. Then you'll also need to work on Protect. I ordered the technical machine. It will arrive tomorrow. That's three moves. None of them are necessarily easy. You have your work cut out for you. I think after this, you'll be ready for the conference, though, add Endeavour at some point, and you'll be tough to deal with."
"Ratta, Raattata?"
"I was thinking of teaching you Shock Wave for King, but Protect will already be hard enough, while Sucker Punch and Super Fang should at least come naturally. I'd say we fill out our natural talents, many of which we've still yet to tap, then we start working on more additions. Also, well, you'll never be the greatest special attacker, better work on our strengths."
"Rattata," his starter finally said in a satisfied tone of voice. Heaping three moves on him seemed to have been more motivating than not, which just went to showcase his personality.
Joey stood up to stretch his arms and look at the rest of the team. Out of all of them, Metapod looked the most impatient, so he focused on her next. "Against King, we'll need your poison and your Electro Web the most. I was thinking we try to increase the potency of both while also working on Protect. If we only work on increasing the proficiency of two moves while learning one new one… We should make a lot of progress in two months."
The bug type puked out a wad of poison in response, further disintegrating the ground beneath her.
That was her affectionate version of a thumbs up, or at least that's how Joey chose to interpret it. He turned to Diglett next.
"Diglett, I think we're reaching the limits of your ground type mastery until you evolve," he said.
Diglett looked up from the small daisy he'd been observing quite intently.
"I'd say it's time to work on your coverage. I was thinking that if you can master Sludge Bomb you'd have one option if you ever find yourself facing a grass type. Additionally, Sludge Bomb would help you further poison the waters against King. That and Protect. Maybe the toxic orb training has attuned you towards poison type energy? I guess we'll see."
"Diglett!" the Pokemon said happily, seemingly content with Joey's decision.
Joey had lost track of Misdreavus during the team talk, which probably meant that she was sneaking up behind him to scream in his air. "Misdreavus, you'll have to be our secret weapon here. I already have your Charge Beam technical machine. I was considering going for Shock Wave instead due to its chance to paralyse, but you already have Hypnosis. I think you getting lucky with the Charge Beam buff will be our win condition. If you can get a few of those increases in special attack we can win. If you don't, we can't. No pressure. Protect, also."
"Misdreavus, miss," the ghost type complained from behind him.
Joey turned to his last team member and crossed his arms.
Slugma slowly blinked her big, round eyes at him.
"It's not going to be easy," Joey warned her.
"Slugggg, slug," the fire type said, shrugging her non-existent shoulders.
"I have two options for you. Yours is the one technical machine I haven't ordered yet. Our strategy depends on what you want," Joey said.
Slugma tilted her head at him.
"You're learning Protect, that's for sure. I also want you to learn Toxic so that you can poison the water. The third move is the one I'll let you choose," Joey started. "My original idea was to throw you out first or second. I won't pretty this up; it's a sacrifice play. You use Toxic on the water, you use Smog. Eventually, you get knocked out. The thing is, before you get knocked out, you could use Light Screen, which would increase the defence of the rest of the team for a certain amount of time." He raised his hand. "Alternatively, I can get you Hidden Power. If we get lucky, your Hidden Power typing might end up grass or electric. Low chance, but if it's that, you might actually have a chance."
Slugma blinked her eyes at him again. Then she glowed a bright pink, using Amnesia.
Joey nodded gratefully.
"Light Screen it is. We will all be learning Hidden Power at some point, but that's before the conference. It's one of those obligatory moves in my opinion, although nobody seems to share my opinion," he muttered while thinking and tapping his fingers on his elbow.
"I'm not quite sure how the battle will go at the moment," he eventually admitted. "Although I certainly have an idea." He raised one finger in the air. "We learned last time that if I register Diglett, King has to provide a dirt arena. We'll do that, but won't lead with Diglett; it's what he'll expect. Slugma comes out first, throws out Smog and Toxic until she's dangerously low. Blocks the finisher with Protect, casts Light Screen and Yawn before going down." Second finger. "King probably has a way to clear the poison. We send out Misdreavus and let him. Misdreavus uses the defence from Light Screen to get as many Charge Beams as possible. She tries to heal with Dream Eater whenever needed and goes down eventually. After that comes Metapod under the assumption King cleared the poison. Metapod brings it right back, Electro Web, Rest, Sleep Talk till out. Then we finally bring in Diglett, an Earthquake or two should distribute the dirt and turn the arena into mud, Diglett's battleground, even if he's weak to water. The last one is Rattata, has solid ground to move on." Joey shook his head and sighed.
"There's a lot of combinations here. We could also try to lead with Diglett, make a mud arena, switch to Slugma, evaporate the water in the mud and make an improvised no water environment."
He turned to his Pokemon who were listening with rapt attention. "King uses five Pokemon for his eighth badge challenge. The three main Pokemon that are always present are Seaking, Slowking and Gyarados. The rest vary. It could be Quagsire, Lapras, Starmie, Seadra, Golduck or even a Blastoise." He shook his head. "There's no real way to know."
"Rattata!" Joey's starter cheered, causing the trainer to raise an eyebrow.
"You'll win regardless?" he asked and crossed his arms. "Well, that's reassuring," he said with a smile. Then he frowned and threw out his hand. "But now, relax, that's an order!"
His team saluted, which was weird because some of them didn't necessarily have arms.
Joey paused.
Actually, most of his Pokemon didn't really have limbs.
Metapod, Slugma, Misdreavus.
"The armless armada?" he muttered confusedly.
-/-
Joey licked an ice cream while reading a comic book.
The adventures of Detective Kadabra, to be more precise.
"Happ, happiny!" resounded in the background where Jessie, Happiny and Wurmple were preparing for their contest.
"Miss," Misdreavus muttered from where she was floating over Joey's shoulder.
"Why they used a Kadabra?" Joey asked as he took another lick. "I guess it's one of the more notoriously smart Pokemon," he said as he read the Kadabra correctly deduce that the shifty ranger could indeed have committed the murder if he simply sent a Ditto to represent him at the meeting. "What were they supposed to use, a Pikachu?"
"Misdreavus…"
"I'm sure you're much smarter than any stinky Kadabra," Joey reassured his ghost type. "Most people just aren't aware."
The ghost nodded happily at his words before floating away… Somewhere, likely to wreak havoc on some wild Pokemon.
Joey went back to his comic, flipping the pages until he reached the end of the comic and his ice cream.
It wasn't bad, but the media of a country with a population of perhaps 4 million couldn't compare to the cultural output of modern Earth.
Joey had found little reason to really immerse himself in any of the media available in Kanto. An occasional visit to the cinema, theatre, or art gallery sufficed.
The Pokemon world was about battling; that was about it.
He put the comic away in his backpack, reminding himself to leave it at the Pokecentre later for some other kid to read.
A sweep of his gaze showed him the situation of the clearing in which Jessie was practising with her team.
Happiny would demonstrate a boxing routine with her Pound and finish it with a showcase of Refresh. Jessie was still familiarising herself with Wurmple's moveset, so the small bug-type likely wouldn't compete yet.
Rattata was meditating cross-legged underneath a tree, Diglett was collecting a bouquet of flowers, and Metapod was hanging upside down from a tree and taking a nap.
Slugma, for her part, had simply made herself a little pool of lava in which she was taking a relaxing bath.
Joey lay down in the grass, arms crossed behind his back.
There was a theater play happening this evening which he would go watch. Something about a treacherous Drowzee…
Fact was.
It had been eight hours since he'd started enforcing mandatory break time on his team.
Regrettably, it seemed like he'd be the first to crack. He was bored as hell.
The thing was.
His favourite free-time activities in his old life had been hiking, swimming and reading.
As a trainer, every day was a hike, so he didn't feel the need to go anywhere. As for swimming, he'd been on Cinnabar for months; he'd swam all he could for the year. Reading? He'd just tried. He'd already exhausted all the good books and comics available in Kanto during his childhood. There was nothing left.
In lieu of confronting the fact that he was, to a certain extent, a hobbyless loser, Joey pulled out the map of Kanto from his backpack and once again reconsidered his route.
There were two ways of getting to Cerulean from Fuschia.
He could take either the under-construction bike path to the west, and then go through Celadon, Saffron, and Cerulean. It would be a walk of a few days through the bike path, followed by a one-day walk per city. He'd be in Cerulean in a week, make camp in the north of the city where he could challenge a bunch of water types and then face King whenever he was ready. This was the speed option that maximised training, not travelling time.
When he was done with King, he could take the scenic route back through Fuschia. Check out the cave, Lavender, the wild part of Kanto to the east.
Alternatively, taking the eastern path to Cerulean would take him through less structured shores, deeper forests and a cave to boot. A journey of a week would stretch to two or maybe even three weeks.
The upside was that there would be more chances to perhaps meet his sixth team member. Particularly useful if he ended up meeting one around the power plant.
Joey didn't pick his team members based on type advantages, but he wouldn't say no to a particularly motivated Electabuzz right now.
He needed a sixth team member anyway, and the only thing he wanted to avoid was double-dipping a type. He was less enthusiastic about fighting and dark since Rattata sort of fulfilled those roles, poison and flying because Metapod sort of had that covered as well, psychic, because Misdreavus' bread and butter was a psychic combo, and rock, because Diglett would learn Rock Tomb and Rock Slide soon enough to cover his weakness to ice.
That left… Grass, water, electric, fairy, ice, steel and dragon?
Excluding the Clefairy that was non-negotiable, what was that even in Kanto?
The best would be double-typings, to cover two at once, so… Dewgong and Lapras, which were water and ice. Magnemite was electric steel, while Lanturn was electric water. Kingdra was a water dragon.
Well, in the end, he'd simply pick the Pokemon that fit his team best. Although… Metapod would be able to fly him places once she evolved, but a water Pokemon to traverse the lakes and seas he'd have to deal with in the future?
Additionally, maybe a psychic would be worth it. Butterfree wouldn't be able to learn teleport, and there was something to say about the added mobility.
Wanna ski, bam, you're on the slopes. Take a swim at the beach, bam, you're on the beach. Wanna visit a strip club, bam you'r-
"Joey!" Jessie shouted into the trainer's ear as he was busy dosing off.
Joey startled in place from where he was lying down and opened his eyes. "What?" he gasped.
"Your Pokenav is ringing," the pink-haired girl said in an annoyed tone of voice. "Go pick it up, Happiny needs quiet to focus on her rhythm."
Joey suddenly heard the Pokenav, its calming, gentle sounds ringtone blending in perfectly with the actual surroundings.
He cursed and rolled over to reach for the device. He accepted the call and put the thing next to his ear.
"This is the Joemeister speaking, state your case or I'll break your face," he said cheerily.
A beat of silence passed from the other end before an old woman's voice spoiled his mood immediately.
"Fascinating," Agatha's raspy voice came out through the speaker. "Regardless, be in Lavender Town in ten days." A pause. "I'd advise not being late." She hung up.
Joey put the Pokenav away from his ear and stared at it angrily.
"What's wrong?" Jessie asked, still not having gone back to Happiny.
"I was trying to decide earlier which path to take to Cerulean, but the choice was just taken from me," Joey muttered in an annoyed tone of voice. "Also, there's been a change of plans!" he said more loudly, catching the attention of his team.
"Break over!" he shouted. "On the road we go."
"Joey, what's going on?" Jessie asked in a worried voice. "You're not staying for the contest?"
"I'd rather break a bone than miss Happiny's performance," Joey growled with narrowed eyes. "And I can't tell you exactly what I'm doing, but I have something to do in Lavender. It's not quite a matter of life or death, but possibly as close as it can get."
Jessie sighed and shook her head. "Run off then," she eventually said with a sigh, before winking. "I'll have someone record it and send you the video!" she exclaimed while pointing at him. "So you better not think you're escaping your responsibility of giving me feedback."
"Those other contestants won't know what hit them," Joey reassured the girl as he started recalling his team.
A minute later, he slung his backpack over his shoulder.
Jessie was still standing there, looking at him with worried eyes. Happiny and Wurmple had both stopped their practice.
"Good luck, you three," Joey said, before shaking his head. "I'll come back and get you after this thing is done with."
"Well, the contest isn't that critical," Jessie muttered, before flipping her hair and snorting. "And I most certainly don't need luck." She gave Joey a complex look. "Have mine instead," she muttered and went in for a hug.
Joey was too surprised to move for a second, but then reciprocated the gesture.
After the hug, after he'd walked off at a brisk pace, heading east immediately without even going back to the Pokecentre, Joey concluded that he should feel happy this day had come sooner rather than later.
After this nonsense was over, he could move on with his life.
And then, in a few years, he'd beat Agatha's ass so badly she'd finally go into retirement.
Served the bitch right.
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AN: Methinks Joey is biting of more than he can chew lol. 13 chapters ahead on patreon :)