"I'll take the special you're offering for the appraisal skill and for the 'gotcha,' but add an extra ten tickets." John finally declared, a weary sigh escaping him. He'd calculated the cost, the potential gain but also the sheer absurdity of it. This way, each of them would be allocated five tries, able to get a proper taste and hopefully see if it was a scam or not. After this if Ash or Alice decided to try playing again, they would need to procure the coin and tickets themselves, a condition he felt was perfectly reasonable.
"Excellent choice! The current total of your purchase is twenty-five coins, but I take it you will be wanting to trade items to make up an equivalent value, correct?" Z chirped, their voice oozing an artificial cheer different from the sales pitch they had before but it oddly grated on John's nerves. The tone made him feel as if he was suckered and scammed, a sensation of being gently but firmly guided into a transaction he knew wasn't fair but couldn't argue or say in what way. He didn't have any valid frame of reference and it seems Z knew that so he had no choice but to accept Z's terms for the time being.
"Oooh, wait, wait! What about the secret codes and cheats we got? Do it now, my chubby cuddle monkey! Use the force of the cheats and secret words to get us those Discounts!" Alice practically shrieked, bouncing over with an almost alarming energy as she gripped her arm. Her outburst immediately drew an inquisitive look from Z while John could only muster a deeply frustrated sigh before pinching the bridge of his nose, he could already feel a headache begin to throb and the embarrassment to come.
"I really doubt they would be of any help and that they were more than likely a troll Alice. And besides, any that could work would have no doubt changed by now or been patched out of existence," John stated, his voice laced with exasperation. "But if it will make you happy, I'll try." He gave her an indulgent, long-suffering look noting the way her eyes seemed to brighten and almost sparkle in happiness. Taking a deep breath, he seemed to brace himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, bringing the words from the crumpled paper he tore up to the front of his mind. The memory wasn't that difficult to bring forward as it was mostly a chaotic jumble of old internet memes and pop culture references that was practically pure trolling.
"Okay, I'm enacting merchant code 341, order 66, 7331, 80085, A person dies when they are killed so give me a discount before such a fate happens to me and the CGI dragon comes to haunt my nightmares returns once more, the cake is a lie, all your bases are belonging to us, do a barrel roll, LEROY JENKINS! I can has cheeseburger? What if I told you, one does not simply walk into Mordor, it's over 9000! Ain't nobody got time for that, that's what she said, why so serious? Keep calm and carry on, Hodor, you had one job, just do it, it's a trap!" John recited, meticulously changing his voice and inflection where appropriate well mimicking the diverse origins of the peculiar phrases as best he could. Ash, from a bit over to the side observed the spectacle with a concerned crease forming between her brows with faint hints of pity as she shook her head but seemed ot be trying to hold back some of her own giggles well Alice seemed to rapidly be turning red well struggling valiantly to hold back her laughter. The effort was futile though as a moment later she burst forth practically collapsing to the ground in a fit of uncontrollable giggles and laughs as she rolled around like a child holding her sides.
"I… I can't breathe, hahaha! I can't! Hahahaha! You… hahaha… you actually said all that! Hahahaha. Deadpool would be so proud and hahahaha would complain about there being too many references, hahaha!" Alice managed to wheeze out between gasps of laughter, clutching her stomach. John felt a deep flush rise to his cheeks, his face burning with a mortifying embarrassment that seemed to spread to his very core. He wanted the ground to swallow him whole right now, he knew it was a troll yet still did it for Alice and honestly would probably do it again if it got her to laugh like this again.
"Well, it's clear you have some kind of mental issues, my friend," Z declared, their earlier manufactured cheer replaced by an unsettling, almost clinical sympathy. "I have no idea how any of that could be codes but how about this. I'll throw in those ten extra tickets for free and only charge you twenty-three coins. I'll also pay special attention to teach you slowly how to make the best use of the appraisal skill since, after that display, you clearly need the extra help in a lot of ways." The words, dripping with feigned pity, only served to deepen John's mortification to the point he didn't even bother pointing out the lack of change in price. He felt like a charity case, his cheeks flaming hotter than ever. Ash, sensing his distress, came over and gently patted him on the back.
"There, there," she murmured, though the barely suppressed smile playing on her lips and the twinkle in her eyes clearly betrayed her amusement. "It's clear you got done in by a troll. I've had my own fair share of Rick Rolls, so don't worry, I'm here for you and understand." While her words were comforting, the underlying mirth was undeniable. John knew she was greatly enjoying his public humiliation, even as she offered solace.
Reaching into the depths of his cloak John located a hidden pocket that he pulled twelve coins from before, placing them carefully on the counter. He still owed eleven, a fact not lost on him. As he began to extract the small pouch from another concealed pocket to pay the remainder, having chosen to split his funds to be on the safe side, Z suddenly interrupted him with a sharp gesture of their hand telling him to wait. Confused, John watched as Z picked up one of the coins, holding it with an almost reverent intensity seemingly trying to look through it. Their gaze was fixed and piercing.
"Is something wrong?" John couldn't help but ask, a knot of apprehension tightening in his stomach. "I mean, there are only twelve there and I still owe another eleven. I can pay for this, but is there something wrong with the coins? They're not fake or anything, right? I can try to find stuff to trade if I have to, but I got given these pretty early from a reliable source so I thought they were okay to use." His voice held a genuine tremor of worry; the last thing he needed was counterfeit currency or coins that would bring him far more trouble. Z responded not with words, but with a slow, deliberate shake of their head followed by a giving him a pointed look. The transformation they had went through was slightly unsettling.
"What do you know of coins and their value? Didn't your source explain anything?" Z's tone had undergone a radical shift. The playful, overly cheery salesperson was gone, replaced by a cold, hard synth-like voice that sent a shiver down John's spine. He frowned, feeling a prickle of unease.
"Just that they wished me luck and these coins were a parting gift to try and help me, do you mean there's different kinds of coins? Are these gamer coins?" John replied, his voice growing cautious. But noticed them shake their head. "What's wrong with them?"
"I swear you are making this so hard for me right now," Z huffed, a theatrical sigh accompanying their words. "If not for being such a kind-hearted merchant with honor and truly pitying such a poor, poor, brain-damaged fool such as you, I would have kept silent and taken the extra coins you seem to have." The condescension was thick, a calculated performance, but John was too intrigued to fully object. "Most coins are basic gold coins; it's what gamers get as drops and serves as the main form of currency but the regular ones are also gold but without the gamer mark to help tell them apart as I said. These though, are prismatic. They've retained their original essence. Normally they're supposed to go gold after a few days and that's the end of it. These prismatic coins though are extremely rare due to a mutation in the coin's creation where they retain their original essence and don't go golden. They're rare to see and nearly impossible to find." Z paused, allowing the gravity of their words to sink in before leaning in, a conspiratorial glint in their eyes. "So, I'll give you a deal. I'll take only these twelve prismatic coins as full payment and even throw in a weapon and a piece of armor for each of you." Z waved a hand dismissively and the coins on the counter vanished, swept away into a hidden sleeve. before reaching under the counter and pulling out a small, leather-bound catalogue.
"You can each have one weapon and one piece of armor from this catalogue!" Z announced, their sales pitch voice returning with renewed, almost manic, enthusiasm. "It's truly a good bargain! And with this our deal is now done. No refunds or exchanges though, the deal is closed and sealed! Thank you, good sir!" The sudden shift, the hasty conclusion of the deal, set off alarm bells in John's mind. A "good bargain" from a merchant this shifty rarely lived up to its name.
"What's the actual value of a single one of these coins?" John asked, a frown deepening on his face. He pulled the small pouch out again, placing a lonely prismatic coin on the countertop. "Consider it me buying information and I'll even use one of them as payment for this information." Before the words were fully out of his mouth, the coin was swiftly swept away into one of Z's sleeves, vanishing as quickly as the others.
"Why, thank you, my oh-so-generous customer," Z purred, their eyes crinkling into a smile, though their lips remained flat. "The value of a prismatic coin is: two times eight times nine, divided by eight, minus nine times three, minus eighteen. That is the value of one of these prismatic coins that you oh-so-generously traded with me."
John stared, then slowly pulled out his phone. He opened the calculator app, his fingers moving to input the numbers. 2 × 8 × 9 ÷ 8 - 9 × 3 - 18 = 9
John's jaw tightened. Each single prismatic coin was worth nine regular coins. Z had just explained with a straight face that he had paid 12 prismatic coins. 12 × 9 = 108 regular coins. Instead of paying the agreed-upon twenty-three, he had ended up paying a staggering one hundred and eight! A slow, anger began to simmer within him. He knew he had been conned and now he was all but told so, he would no doubt be spewing blood right now in anger if this was a martial manga, overcome by the sheer audacity of being ripped off so badly. Feeling utterly furious, he glared at the merchant, who merely waved a sleeve at him, their eye-smile unwavering, practically tempting him to do something. All he could do though was try to move forward and learn from this costly lesson.