As soon as Valin's cup was empty, he got to his feet and said,"Bye," then marched over to the trashcan.
I followed him and said, "Why don't we do something else together? I'm off today, so I'm not in a rush."
His eyes shifted in my direction, but he pulled out his phone, replied to a text, and said,"No, I have plans."
As he moved toward the exit, I grabbed his sleeve.What's wrong with me? Why can't I just let him leave?
"If you need anything else, tell me."After that, I finally let go. He didn't reply.
It feels like it was just yesterday when we were together... The Valin I lived with cherished me, so it's hard to imagine him being promiscuous. But the version of him that was never with me—he used to rant about wanting a girlfriend and being lonely. Thinking back, it's clear he was joking to change the mood. But back then, I took it seriously and thought he had zero charisma.
Well, it doesn't matter. I have no reason to be bothered.
I texted Zai to let him know I'd be on my way home soon. When I arrived, he had a meal prepared for me.
"Welcome home," he greeted. He looked the same as always—handsome, ethereal—and yet… my heart wasn't doing the usual backflips. I just need to push through the next six days and everything will return to normal. I'll stop wondering who Valin was texting, why he was too "busy" to spend time with me, if he's seeing that girl again… or if he called Lisa. I'll stop caring about all of it.
"You cooked?" I asked, forcing cheer into my voice.
"I got bored waiting on you," Zai replied.
I scoffed and made my way to the kitchen to fix my own plate."How did the café trip go? Did he make a scene?"
"You'll be shocked to hear this—he actually noticed I was uncomfortable last time and made an effort to fix his behavior." I smiled like I was telling a funny story, but Zai looked pale.
"You're right... I am shocked. That's... weird."
I'm trying to be honest with him. I want to stay faithful until these lingering memories fade, but judging by Zai's expression, maybe I'm being too honest.
We spent the rest of the day together, and eventually, my mind accepted that this is the person I'm with. I'd been feeling gross and detached since coming back—I'm so glad that was only temporary.
Zai changed the subject, telling me how Mark had scheduled a photoshoot for me in a few days. It feels like forever since I worked.
"For the album cover?"
"Yeah. And for the articles they'll release before your debut."
This is really happening. I've always wanted to make millions happy with my voice.
"I'm happy that you only sing for me."
The memory of Valin saying that hit me out of nowhere. In that moment, I hadn't cared if anyone else ever heard me sing. I was content with just him.
"O-oh... I think I'm feeling nervous... I need to lie down."
It was true. I felt nauseated.
"Okay..." Zai sounded worried but didn't stop me from rushing upstairs.
Even if I explained, he'd never understand. Before, I would've felt strange going this long without sleeping with someone. But... Valin is a very talented lover. He might've ruined me until these memories finally fade.
If I sleep with Zai right now, he'll definitely know something's wrong. I wish I could forget everything. That would make life so much easier.
My phone vibrated. It was a text from Lisa, all in caps:
"VALIN CALLED ME!!"
I had no idea they'd exchanged numbers. He did say she was pretty. I'd left them alone more than once. He'd even been so well-behaved at that get-together, it was sickening.
I typed a response:"Oh, so you were serious about him? I thought you just had too many drinks lol."—but it felt too insincere, so I didn't send it.
Lisa replied again:"Of course! He looks so cute! And he seemed really sweet."
"Don't let my little bro fool you, he's a menace," I texted back.
"I'm a big girl, Snowe. I'm just so happy I get to see him again. He's taking me out tomorrow. To be honest, I don't think I made a good impression the first time, so I'm going to stay sober and try again. Oh! And I heard about your photoshoot! I hope the pictures turn out awesome. Sneak me some pics of the look you go with!"
"I hope it goes well too..." I replied, though my eyes filled with tears.
My heart is too divided for this conversation. I'm so glad Zai isn't in the room with me right now.
I laid down and drifted off to sleep. It didn't feel like long before Zai came in and sat beside me. He ran his fingers across my cheek, and I opened my eyes.
He kissed me.
I fought down the part of me that didn't belong to him. I'm not telling him no tonight.
It was sometime around noon the next day when we finally separated. Zai looked at the time and cursed.
"Sorry, I promised to meet up with Rai today." He kissed me again, and I smiled as he walked into the bathroom.
I still feel so unsatisfied.
I picked up my phone and saw messages from Lisa, Richard, and Valin. I checked Valin's first. It was just a corny math joke:
"Why doesn't anybody talk to circles? Because there's no point."
I giggled at how bad it was and replied:"Your jokes suck."
He replied instantly:"You got something better?"
I was about to type a reply when Zai came back into the room to get dressed. He dropped his towel, and though I'd seen him naked before, I looked away bashfully.
"Glad to see you're in a good mood. Hope it lasts 'til I get back," he said, pulling on his clothes. He kissed my cheek and left.
Then I replied to Valin:"I'm not the one acting like a low-rate comedian."
He sent a laughing emoji and texted:"Fine. What did the carrot say to the rabbit?"
I thought about it—obvious setup—but couldn't guess."What?"
"Nothing, because it's carrot. Idiot."
I laughed out loud. Sassiness seems to get his attention.
"Zai just got here, not going to be available for a while."
Zai only mentioned seeing RJ, but they're all in business together. Valin's way with numbers is so impressive that he does most of the heavy lifting in their projects.
"You actually got a laugh, but the joke was still lame. Hope the meeting goes well."
No reply this time. I sat in silence, staring at my phone.
Zai returned home around six. He caught me sitting on the bed and sat next to me.
"Have you been in bed all day?" he asked.
"I... guess I was just lonely."
Zai laughed and put his arm around my shoulders."Even though we're together every day? You're so silly."
Zai's back, but I haven't heard from Valin at all. Oh yeah... Lisa told me he has a date today.
"Lisa said she's going on a date with Valin tonight," I noted.
Zai didn't seem interested. He just had this amorous look on his face as he rubbed his hand over—and between—my thighs.
"Would Valin devour her?" I whispered.
"...That's something only weak Afarions need to do. She'll be fine," Zai replied.
His hand moved up toward my crotch."Before that, I need to eat."
He yanked his hand back, got to his feet, and said,"Okay... I'll prepare something for you."
Then he smirked and left the room.
Just four days left.
Zai made me a quick meal, then insisted on taking a shower together. He couldn't keep his hands off me. But it was an excellent distraction, so I didn't complain. I just kept reminding myself—this is my husband.
It was nearly 20 hours later before he'd finally had his fill. He looked surprised that I could match his vigor.
"You've... really grown. I should get back to training you in combat tomorrow," he said, panting, brushing my cheek lovingly.
I placed my palm on his cheek and smiled."I look forward to it."
That's when I remembered to check the messages from Lisa and Richard. I rolled over and grabbed my phone. Zai cuddled close, kissing my shoulder and biting my neck.
Luckily, I have nothing to hide, even if he peeked at my screen.
Lisa: "Which outfit looks better?"She'd attached three photos of dresses. Since I never replied, she'd texted again:"It's fine, I chose the red one! I'm so nervous/excited—so… nervited? I'll let you know how it goes! Text me if you want the updates!! ♥♥♥"
I asked how it went, then checked Richard's message. He'd emailed me a sound file he wanted me to listen to.
It's late, so I don't expect to hear back from Lisa until tomorrow.
"Snowe..." Zai whispered my name, then sat up and asked,"Are you ready to continue?"
I yelped, covering my face."Are you trying to kill me?!"
He laughed, placing one hand on my hip and turning me toward him.
"I don't want to waste the time we have right now... I hold back so much when you're working, Snowe. You don't understand," he murmured, kissing down my neck.
My heart tingled. I could feel it—my feelings for him were growing.
"You're wrong... I do notice. And I do understand."
I placed my hand on his shoulder.He took that as permission to continue.