"Stupid donkey mixed breed lizard born wild skull licking.." I found out that when I'm irritated enough the naturally unresponsive vocabulary to insult can come to life with the most blandly colorful mixtures of words one can think of.
'Wow..your creativity in insults astonish me'
"Shut up woman. My mama didn't raise me to become a low life."
Mama didn't raise me to become a lot of things I am now, but those are still a working progress.
I lept from one ledge to the another while scaling the giant rock that stood right smack middle of the forest. Now that I was up a certain height, I could tell that this freaking granite pile was right smack middle of the magic forest. It's prime main plot real state.
Every super plot event needs to happen in a super important plot of land. And this looked like it was made for a mid season pre peak random powerup tied super showdown.
'Hey Mr realstate agent? ' Artalis rang my thoughts with her nagging voice. ' Your tracking spell is getting away.'
Right. I can't forget why I came here the first place.
Hup
With a series of leaps, I reached the gap between the rock formations that held a deep cave.
A secret entrance.
This was getting more exciting. And my poor Rue. She had become the stake that kept the suspense high.
'Two hundred bucks says she's gonna get a power up after this point'
"I'll take that bet. " Power ups that comes after mid level boss battles are mostly there to prepare MC's for the last boss battle. Now, I don't doubt that I'm super strong. But....anything more can't hurt right?
I had to explain the basic principle of power ups to Artalis as a proper cultured man.
"Artalis, you are going at this the wrong way. Think of it like this. If this was a story, who is the main character? Me or Her?"
'Ruudi-'
"Exactly, it's Ruudi. It's me. I have a dragon, unique power system, abusive relationship and everything. So that makes me the most logical main character. I have too many MC templates to not be one."
Well?
Artalis was silent. And that means I won. Yeah, it wasn't easy to make her shut her mouth.
'You know, just for that, I'm just gonna sit back here and watch your bones get licked clean.'
"What?"
Thud
A shadow covered the meager light, and suddenly I felt my brain getting proper ventilation after a long time. Well, as the saying goes, the truth hurts. I don't know what I said was right. But something I said just now definetely was.
Putchi!
My face that was in three slices became one, and my hand, which was a blade did a Kakashi to who ever wanted to play mix the rows of my perfectly formed gorgeous face.
I squinted a little, cause the cave was kinda dark and everything, and it was a kind of familiar face.
"Oh, it's you-"
Whack
My vision swung as my head twisted from that blow, but at the same time, my body was on the move. I pulled my favourite domination move.
It's called chokeslam.
'And his name is John Cena! Tat tarat taaaa rat tarat taaa..'
"Artalis...Just shut up, ok?"
I looked at the thing. I wasn't angry. No I was not angry. A bit suprised? Yes. But not angry.
It was back on its feet the moment I let go and rushed at me again.
Stab stab stab stab
"You know, I really think that I might be at least one grade above the average supernatural here at the moment."
The bloody spikes from my back had stabbed the chimera in its four legs and was holding it up, splayed ready to be experimented on by any willing mad scientist, or to be used as a perfect stress toy for anyone else.
"Oh, hey Artalis look, " I couldn't help but notice that the flesh on its chest where I literally put an arm through was churning to mend it self. "You think I can get super powers from it?"
Hmm
Why was she quiet.
"You just told me to shut up you idiot."
Oh. Well, the venom and intent in those words definetely said something. She was going to skulk. Sure she might say she was insulted, never been treated with such disrespect ignored..blah, blah blah. But she was skulking.
I like to do it too. It feels really deep being emo.
I can do it. But she is definetely not allowed to.
"I'm not skulking. But I think that you have forgotten that I am a dragon_"
"Yup."
'Power beyond your comprehension..'
"Mmhmmm"
'Authority matching gods'
"Yes."
I tuned her out. My mom taught me that trick.
'You just ignored everything I said just now didn't you?'
"Yup."
My dad taught me to never lie to the woman who you share the home with. Sure they squabbled a lot. But because he always said the truth, they always made up.
"Come on, that was then, this is now."
'Then was just two seconds ago.'
"Ahh" I tried to sound philosophical. Another of my dad's techniques was to make them question, instead of answering. "But what is the difference between a second and a millenia, but the illusion we call time?"
I felt like I delivered it perfectly. And Chimera seemed to think so to, because he stopped struggling for a second. Oh wait, that was just Artalis jamming a bloody tentacle into its spine.
'You know, I know you are playing with me. But..'
"Wanna help me check how good this one's regeneration is?"
'Sure'
And then we kept slicing the thing up until we ran out of things to test.