On screen, Mimi clapped her hands twice with theatrical flourish.
"Alrighty! Now that we've introduced each other, let's get the ceremony rolling!" she said brightly. "First, let's help our poor monsters, shall we~?"
She waved her hands like a street magician pulling a trick—
And the monsters on the field twitched.
Their corpses jerked and then started moving.
One by one, broken limbs reattached, battered bodies regenerated, and snarling, hungry monsters rose from their apparent deaths.
Rona pointed innocently at one of them.
"The butt is moving."
I grabbed her by the collar and yanked her backward. "Yup, and if you want to live, start moving those feet!"
We turned and sprinted—
—but too late.
The monsters closed in fast, boxing us in. Their massive bodies moved with terrifying speed, drooling and growling.
Ronald screamed. "What do we do?! What do we do?!"
My brain spun at a thousand miles an hour.
Oui. Their bodies are huge, but they're fast. We can't just run past their legs—we'll get flattened before we even get close to an exit.
Then I spotted it—
Behind the biggest dog monster—a cluster of weapons glinting in the rubble.
"You've got to be kidding me..." I muttered.
The monsters inched closer, their foul breath washing over us. Their tongues lolled out, their eyes gleamed with the hunger of animals that hadn't eaten in years.
Ronald whimpered. "I always thought I'd die from natural causes! Or an accident! Or maybe humans!" He sobbed loudly. "Not by getting eaten by... overgrown household pets!!"
Rona beamed and gave a thumbs up.
"Don't worry! We'll be dying together!"
"THAT'S NOT COMFORTING!" Ronald wailed.
I leaned in close and whispered sharply, "You guys see those weapons behind the dog, right?"
They both nodded frantically.
"Listen carefully," I said, voice hardening. "You two grab the weapons. I'll distract these monsters."
"NO!" Ronald hissed immediately. "You'll die! What are you saying?! You're so mean!"
Rona glared at me too. "Yah! Looks like Lil got more stupid than before!"
I grabbed Rona's ears and twisted gently.
"I can, so listen!" I snapped. "Once I start making them mad, you run to the weapons, grab whatever you can, and SAVE me before I'm their dinner, got it?!"
They pouted but reluctantly nodded.
"Good," I grinned wickedly. "Because if I die, I'll haunt you both forever."
Rona and Ronald shivered.
I took a step forward, cracked my knuckles, and faced the three looming monsters. Their snarling mouths opened, dripping saliva onto the ground in thick globs.
I took a deep breath and unleashed my sharpest tongue.
"Hey, you three ugly maggots!" I bellowed, voice ringing out in the silent, tense air. "Stop eating innocent people! You're not improving your looks with all that protein!"
The monsters froze for a second—processing the insult.
I pressed on mercilessly.
"Look at you! You're like a universe—constantly expanding! At this rate, we'll need a second planet just to fit your lardy asses!"
Their eyes narrowed, ears twitching with rage.
"And those faces—huh! Even if you spent a thousand years in makeup, there's no saving that horror show!" I hugged myself dramatically and shuddered. "Brrr~ I'm jealous of the people who never laid eyes on you."
[Rona and Ronald's Side]
While I was busy flapping my gums at the three enraged monsters, Rona and Ronald crept along the edges of the battlefield, moving like two guilty cats sneaking past a sleeping dog.
They slipped past the hulking dog monster's massive paw—so close that Ronald held his breath, terrified even the sound might wake it.
Finally, they reached the weapon stand.
A ramshackle pile of weird and vicious-looking armaments lay scattered: twisted blades, jagged spears, bizarre artifacts humming with faint energy.
Rona and Ronald stood in front of it, staring blankly.
"...So, do we take all of them?" Ronald asked, scratching his head.
Before he could stop her, Rona grabbed a weird object—a mouthpiece shaped like a giant set of fangs—and shoved it straight into her mouth.
"RONA!!" Ronald panicked and lunged forward, desperately yanking it out of her mouth.
"That's not for eating!" he cried.
They tumbled to the ground, the weapon clattering beside them.
"Ouch!" Ronald winced and picked it up, examining it.
The object glinted in the stadium lights—rows of razor-sharp teeth mounted into a bizarre mechanical mouth.
"This... is a weapon?" Ronald muttered, baffled.
"It looks like grandma's fake teeth... if grandma was a man-eating demon!"
Without missing a beat, Rona snatched it back and shoved it back into her mouth.
She grinned wide, proudly displaying the monstrous weapon latched onto her like some absurdly dangerous dental implant.
"...I'm scared for real now," Ronald muttered, sweating bullets.
Still chuckling nervously, he hurriedly grabbed the remaining weapons—anything that looked halfway usable—and they sprinted back toward the battlefield.
[Llyne's Side]
Meanwhile—
"...And that's why you guys should seriously reconsider eating us, you understand?" I huffed, hands on my hips like an overworked teacher scolding delinquent students.
The monsters growled lowly, casting each other confused glances.
I smacked my forehead dramatically.
"Oh. My. Gooseness. I didn't insult you, okay? I was just describing you. Accurately. Geez."
Their eyes darkened.
"And another thing," I continued recklessly, "it's not just the faces. Clearly the brain cells are missing, too! Even if I combined all three of your brain cells together..."
I paused for effect, raising three fingers.
"...the total would still be zero."
That did it.
ROOAARR!!
The monsters bellowed, their cries shaking the entire colosseum.
Their massive bodies coiled—and then lunged.
"WOAH, CHILL, CHILL!" I yelped, backpedaling furiously.
They didn't listen.
Three enormous paws crashed down at once with the force of falling meteors.
BOOM!
I barely dodged to the side, but the shockwave blasted me into the air.
"AAAAHH—!!"
I flailed wildly, flapping my arms like a desperate newborn bird.
I forgot—I CAN'T FLY!!
Below me, the rabbit monster crouched—mouth wide open like a black hole—ready to gulp me whole.
"I never hated gravity this much in my life!!!" I howled.
From the corner of my eye, I caught Ronald's panicked face.
"Llyne!!" he screamed, winding his arm back like a baseball pitcher.
FWIP!
A weapon whistled through the air—straight toward me.
My instincts kicked in.
SNAP!
I caught the weapon mid-air, flipping it around in my hands.
But—
GULP.
The world turned dark.
The rabbit monster's mouth snapped shut around me, swallowing me whole.