however he was finally ready to confront his own demons and strive towards a brighter, more hopeful future.
After what felt like an eternity, Kelly slowly opened his eyes, and a glimmer of something unfamiliar shone within them. For the first time in a long while, his gaze carried a spark of clarity, about himself, he was done running away from the bitter truth of who he was, it was like a flicker of light had illuminated the darkness that had consumed him. He was well aware that he didn't deserve his family's forgiveness but it was time he stop letting his life dance to the whims of fate, no more was he going to live each day just drifting by, having no goals, no expectations, no direction just merely carried along by the currents of life, he was afraid of dying that is something he had to accept, kelly has always been a fighter his grandfather made him that way and now the time had come that he himself embrace it.
He closed his Eyes and remembered one his most fond memories of his old man, where he got himself and kelly both drunk on the basis that kelly should know how to hold his liquor. It should be one the many talents a man should posses according to him that is.
"Kelly, my boy, live boldly. Travel the world, seek wisdom from yogis and scientists, and search for the meaning of life in every corner you reach. Fight battles, both within and without, and build a body strong enough to endure and a mind stronger still for your own strength will never betray you. Climb the Himalayas, stand at the North Pole, and walk across the burning sands of the Sahara to feel the nature and also experience nature's greatest creation, women. Fall in love, let your heart be broken, and sometimes break hearts yourself. Make friends, but make more enemies, for life is lived on the edge. Have sex, and I mean a lot of sex. Enjoy it, enjoy all of it. Learn whatever you wish to learn. Be a traveller, a nomad, a guest to some, and a saviour to many. And when the weight of the world tires you, return here to this old man's grave. Remember these words I've spoken, then set out once more on your journey, my boy. Never stop living Kelly"
Kelly recalled the old man's words as he said it with the vigor of his younger years, even when kelly was dead drunk those words remained etched into his memory to this day. He could never forget those words, that reassuring smile, that day at that moment he wanted to make those words the mantra of his life, however he forgot, anyway he tried hard to forget them.
Kelly opened his eyes, and the last two years of haze that covered his mind started to clear up.
'Its time I live like how my old men wanted…in this world at least'
"Sorry old man, you must be cursing me these last two years looks like I forgot everything you taught me…huh I kind of became a loser…but I am done disappointing you…I will live it old man like how you wanted me to…I will try my best to make you proud old man…just keep on watching over me"
His parents, his family, deserved to see him rise above his inner turmoil and live a better life on whichever world that is. Although it seemed like a deranged delusion, deep down, Kelly believed that his grandfather would want the same for him, kelly believed he have to survive for his family, but he also believed he had to suffer his whole life for repentance. In that moment, he made a silent vow to honor his grandfather's memory by unlocking a side of himself that he had long kept hiding away.
Little did most people who interacted with him know, and even Kelly himself remained unaware for a long time, but there were whispers of sociopathic tendencies within him. It wasn't to say that he was a full-fledged sociopath, but rather that he exhibited certain tendencies. His parents and his grandfather, who had witnessed his growth, were well aware of this aspect of his character.
Kelly had been grappling with these tendencies, trying to come to terms with them, much of it because of his grandfather who was like him in this sense, when that fateful incident occurred, causing him to bury them deep within himself. However, in order to survive the challenges, he is going to face and to live in a world where he doesn't have to feel ashamed and get judged every time because of who is he becoming he found himself compelled to unleash this side of him. Though he still harbored reservations and battled inner conflict, he recognized that embracing this aspect of himself was necessary for his survival.
With the rays of the sun casting a renewed light upon him, a transformation took place within Kelly Kamimura. The new Kelly, awakening to a new understanding of himself.