The mood had been somewhat somber aboard The Jewelled Fang since the gangs' run-in with Carthonex at the abandoned Warlocks outpost. There had been no casualties on their side, and in almost any other situation that would have marked for a roaring success. Wex had bounced back with relative ease, as he usually did. It's both humbling and terrifying having the universe put you in your place, and realising just how low on the cosmic scale you are; but for the average nomad, that was life. But for Diego and Seeth, a psyker and a Controller… Well, it wasn't something either of them were used to. Seeth was naturally hard to read, so if she was shaken by her near-death experience, by her first real encounter with monsters and magic, it was hard to say. It was obvious though that Diego's reaction to it all was worrying her. He'd been quiet. Distant. Keeping mostly to himself.
And when Diego felt low, so did everyone else.
Chalia was still missing. The Rewritten were still running rampant. The Warlocks were nowhere in sight. And the icing on the cake - shit was stirring within the DA, again, and there they were standing right on its doorstep.
They needed a break.
While Vigilance Astute was primarily used as a space highway, primarily by smugglers, pirates and other less-than-legals thanks to its convenient location close to the DA border, its location also made it prime real estate. Garon Moonstop was far from the only settlement in said area of nomad space, with Vig Ast even housing a few small planets. People could be rough, and nights could be dangerous - it came with the territory - but it could be beautiful too. Nomads were tough but protective of their own. The fact that Vig Ast was close to the DA border meant that it was pursued by draconics too, and that meant that Vig Ast had a decent amount of money to pour into its infrastructure. Generally, this was the rule across the universe for pockets of nomad space; the closer you got to a faction or empire, the nicer the area got.
It was to one of said planets that the crews had made for. Although the mood was low, there was a growing excitement amongst Wex's crew especially; after travelling for so long and stopping mainly at space stations (and the last place you visited literally being in the process of being consumed by its own sun), they were looking forward to the change in scenery. Even those who lived and breathed this livelihood wouldn't deny how wonderful it was to feel a real breeze, and feel real warmth from a real sun on your back.
It had taken them about a week after leaving the outpost to make it back to Vig Ast, where they'd docked planetside. There'd been the usual chores to do first, refuel and resupply, ready for when they'd inevitably have to set off again, and continue on their search for Chalia.
The above forementioned, however, weren't the only reasons they'd chosen a planet to stop at.
It was time for Oxyi and Wex's date.
Although there was some floating, unspoken concern floating around said date that Oxyi wouldn't actually make it.
Oxyi was acting weird. Weirder than she usually did. The morning after she'd asked Wex out, no-one saw her. That didn't really raise any suspicion; the ships were busy, they were getting ready to cast off again, it was chaos - business - as usual. Then the afternoon passed, then the evening, then the next day too. Seeth's crew were spending a lot of their time on the Fang for the obvious reasons, it was bigger, more decked out, and it was where the majority of their weapons and combat training took place, which Oxyi wasn't in attendance for. People did get suspicious after that, and Seeth and Geralt went to give her a talking to. Finally Oxyi re-emerged, but if Wex was anywhere in the vicinity, she would don her trademark beetroot blush, stutter and leave the room as quickly as she could. It had been funny and cute at first, and then it was a bit sad. She wasn't subtle, and Wex quickly noticed. It reached a point where he actually pulled Seeth, Ceri and Diesel over and asked them, only half-jokingly, if she'd asked him out under duress.
Wex did at least have the distraction of planning the date itself - he was happy to do so, and had insisted on it. Vig Ast was still a new sector of space to him, so he had plenty of research to busy himself with, seeing as she had made herself unavailable to be busy with…
It was very obvious that Oxyi wouldn't survive this date on her own.
They'd docked planetside late at night, and were awoken the next morning to the sound of Oxyi in an absolute panic. They were here! The date was TODAY! She'd torn through her room and freaked out when she realised she had absolutely nothing to wear. She'd never been the girliest of girls, but the few nice dresses she did own were still sitting in the wardrobe back at Venner's flat.
"It's okay, Oxyi, we can go shopping! We've got plenty of time!" Ceri and Hazel cautiously navigated Oxyi's room, which looked like a tornado had blown through it, whilst also trying to avoid getting clipped by her flailing arms. Seeth, upon seeing the state Oxyi was in, had quickly called for backup. Plasia looked positively terrified, huddled in the doorway as Hurricane Oxyi tracked its way through the sector with gale-force winds and ever-increasing speeds with every passing minute, and Tivy just did not understand what all the fuss was about and made things a thousand times worse, so it was up to Wex's girls to try and fix things. "We can have a… nice… girly… shopping trip…" They finally managed to reach her, and wrenched her arms down by her sides, "and everything will be just great!"
Oxyi panic-gasped something about money in response, which Seeth quickly interrupted. Now that Oxyi was restrained, she only looked slightly worried about everyone's wellbeing. "Don't worry about that, there's still some left over from our savings pot."
"I-I-It didn't all go on the sh-ship?" Oxyi stuttered, fixing her wide wild eyes onto the Controller. Seeth almost took a step back.
"No. Honestly it's something we probably should've done ages ago but I completely forgot… Everything that's left, you guys should divy out amongst yourselves. I've spent plenty -"
"And we don't need it to find Diego anymore, cos we already found him!" Tivy announced with glee.
"... Exactly." Seeth glanced across the room at the critter, who was happily sitting on the edge of Oxyi's bed, swinging her legs and bobbing her head. She pulled her phone out and checked their money quickly. "You know, if you guys are shopping, maybe you could take Geralt! He needs a new wardrobe."
"Geralt's not a girl!" Oxyi spluttered.
"Geralt's one of the girls." Ceri looked to Hazel, who nodded in confirmation.
"GIRL'S TRIP!" Tivy scampered to her feet, standing on Oxyi's bed now, and started doing a little dance. "Seeth, you have to come too!"
"Uhh…" Seeth hesitated. A shopping trip was a far cry from the chaos her life had been for the last… several years, honestly at this point, and one that actually sounded quite nice, but Oxyi's unbridled terror was undeniable, as she scanned the Controller up and down, her eyes hovering at her bust, her hips. She seemed to shrink into herself just looking at her. Oxyi didn't need Seeth flaunting the changing rooms with her hypersexual figure, not today. "Think I'll give it a miss. Got lots of… captain things to do. Next time, Tiv."
Tivy slumped and pouted but Oxyi relaxed, at least a little bit.
"Maybe… you could take Plasia, though?" Seeth asked softly.
The look of horror, quick to return to Oxyi's face, was beaten only by Plasia's. She stared at Seeth in disbelief.
"I thought it might be nice!" Seeth said quietly, siddling close to Plasia. "You need clothes, too! You can't keep wearing mine, they don't fit you right. Plus, I'd like to see what sorta clothes you pull off - before me and Diego pull them off anyway." Seeth nudged her playfully.
Plasia still looked anxious, but she flushed lightly, and had to fight a smile. "I barely know anyone though!" She murmured.
"We don't bite Plasia, promise!" Ceri said cheerfully.
"Unless you want us to." Hazel purred, and both girls gave an evil little giggle. They had released Oxyi now but hovered close-by, ready to grab her again at a moment's notice.
Plasia glanced between the girls and Seeth, her blue orbs wide with uncertainty.
"If Oxyi is okay with it, of course." Seeth spoke up for her. "I know it's a lot to ask of you today -" And I know I'm being a tad hypocritical, but Plasia's a lot less intimidating than I am! "- but Plas is right. Might be nice if you all got to know each other a bit?"
Oxyi looked over at Plasia's terrified expression, and found her own softening. She had shrunk herself down and hunched over, hiding behind Seeth the best she could without making it look too obvious. She didn't do a great job.
"Of course she can." Oxyi sighed gently.
"Thanks, Oxyi." Seeth smiled, then turned back to Plasia. "Jace gave you a small fortune in dies, so go treat yourself! You deserve it, Plas, more than anyone."
"...Okay. I'll go." Plasia glanced up at Seeth and gave her a small smile.
"Noice noice! Sounds like it's gonna be a party! It's looking like there's gonna be a lot of shopping bags, so I might drive us in. If that's cool." Ceri said. "The main shopping centre's a fair way away from here."
"Your car's only got five seats, that's six of us." Hazel replied. "Are we all gonna fit? Especially when one of us is…" Hazel looked at Plasia, a pastel pink blush blooming over her white fuzzy cheeks. "...so enviably endowed?"
Ceri glanced Plasia up and down with her own blush on her face, which turned into a cheeky little smile. "You guys are gonna have to get cosy in the back, then!"
"Geralt's gonna have a great time." Seeth chuckled.
"EXCUSE ME! ISN'T THIS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT OXYI HAVING A GREAT TIME?!"
*
Between Tivy and Oxyi, they had no idea what they were getting themselves into.
Tivy had already found her way into the Fang's garage and strapped herself into the front passenger seat of Ceri's car, by the time the others got ready and rounded up Geralt.
They asked her to sit in the back, saying that this was Oxyi's big date and so, she should sit up front. Tivy complained she couldn't see at the back, and what ensued was a ten minute palava of pre-called shotguns and "I'm sorry I suggested a booster seat, I didn't realise it was racist." But, they did manage to get her in the back.
It only got worse from there.
Oxyi was just plain difficult. She would dismiss anything that was shown to her, fidgeting and stumbling over her words and her feet. They had to trek through the mall twice over before finally getting Oxyi into a shop, nevermind a dress.
Despite her loud and palpable spirit, Tivy was being anything but helpful. She would nip out of sight for several minutes, bulldozing her way through clothing racks and returning with arms full of the most garish, obnoxious outfits ever sewn. Somehow, each one was worse than the last, and there was zero coordination between anything she brought over, nevermind with Oxyi's actual sense of style. The lioness had been worrying enough about looking like a 'fridge,' but Tivy's outfits were leaning closer to 'graffiti'd air conditioning unit,' which was not particularly welcome either.
Eventually though, the gang settled into a chaotic rhythm, tagging each-other in and out so that someone was always with Oxyi, while giving others a break - ahem ahem a chance - to do some shopping themselves. They fanned out across each new shop, grabbing anything they thought might take the lioness' fancy. No way turned into no, no turned into meh, and meh turned into maybe only eight shops in!
At the tenth shop, a slither of approval passed Oxyi's judgement and she was swiftly delivered to the nearest changing rooms. Once in the changing room, the lioness suddenly became much more affable with the outfits, thus began a carousel of delivering her new dresses as an ever-growing pile of potential purchases stacked up in the background. She must have spent about an hour in the changing room, giving the gang some time to chat and relax as she mulled it all over.
While the lioness was having some issues picking outfit, both Plasia and Geralt had managed to bag themselves quite a few bargains, each leaning into their newer, more outgoing selves. As they compared wardrobes, they caught the attention of both Ceri and Hazel, who were more than happy to have a break from ferrying clothes to play-flirt and admire their fashion.
Plasia had emerged entirely from her shy shell, more than eager to show the others the lacy bra and panties she'd bought and even throwing some of her own play-flirting back at them. But just as things seemed to be going a bit too well, the lioness suddenly let loose an ear-piercing screech.
"TIVY! GET OUT!"
"SORRY, I JUST BROUGHT YOU THE GREEN!" Tivy yelled back, matching Oxyi's volume with her charming insistence. The critter crawled out from under the curtain, clutching a radioactive green pair of pants, her smile unfaltering for all the distress caused.
"She knows she's winding Oxyi up, right?" Plasia asked quietly, as the four of them watched her skip happily back between the clothes racks and out of sight. "There's no way she doesn't, surely?"
"Honestly, couldn't tell you. Hammond does this sort of shit all the time too."
Once the situation was defused and security informed that Oxyi was fine, the group ended up leaving with several shopping bags full of clothes. A decision had not been reached in the changing room, and so Oxyi had bought them all, but some semblance of an outfit was coming together. They departed together, Oxyi looking as stiff as a plank of wood as they wandered down the remaining arcades for anything else of interest.
A lingerie shop happened upon their route, prompting the lioness to swerve through her entourage and make a beeline for the other side of the street. But her desperate avoidance only sealed her fate. The girls grabbed her by the arms and dragged her straight in, despite her resisting. She only stopped kicking when Geralt agreed (without hesitation mind you) to wait outside and the girls emerged twenty minutes later with a single bag and a very, VERY red lioness.
Many, many hours later, and with not much time to spare, the gang returned to the ships and quickly sprang into action, helping Oxyi get ready. They settled into Oxyi's room, where Seeth rejoined them. It was only then that they realised, with how long the clothes shopping took, that they'd completely forgotten about everything else, makeup, shoes, hair stuff, jewelry. While Seeth, Plasia, Tivy and Geralt tidied Oxyi's room and helped her decide on a dress, Ceri and Hazel were back and forth the Fang, returning with their arms full of boots, heels, wedges and slip-ons of varying styles and sizes, hair curlers, straighteners, even a crimper (which Tivy quickly claimed), bracelets, necklaces, and hundreds of dies worth of makeup before plopping it all down and heading out again. Each time they returned, they brought a few curious stragglers with them, some with their own accessories, some bearing gifts of the alcoholic variety. Before long, much-needed snacks and cocktail glasses filled to the brim with a multitude of colours were making their way around Oxyi's room. Hammond appeared some time after that; having grown "B-O-R-E-D" of the boys' pre-date drinkies he'd made his way over to the girls', quickly settling himself close to Tivy and gratefully accepting the pink cocktail offered to him.
As the time for the date drew closer, Oxyi only grew more anxious.
She still hadn't picked an outfit. She refused to undress and try anything on in front of the others, even after multiple promises of no peeking, and so she had to dash back and forth to the bathrooms down the corridor from her room. After the fourteenth time of doing this, Oxyi locked herself in and refused to come out.
"They all make my body look wrong!" She screeched through the door.
"Those are your legs, Oxyi, you're supposed to have them." Geralt pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Well I don't like them!" She snapped back. "Or they don't like me. Or the dresses don't like me, I don't know!"
"Just open the door and we can -"
"NO!"
"Maybe we should ask Diego!" Tivy came skipping out into the corridor, looking as happy and carefree as ever. "He's got a good eye! I'm sure he'd be happy to help!"
"AHH YES!" Oxyi's voice sounded hoarse and just slightly insane as she shouted back. "Let's go ask Diego! 'Hey Diego, THE GUY I USED TO HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON, which dress do you think YOUR BROTHER, the guy I NOW HAVE A MASSIVE CRUSH ON, would most like to BONE ME IN?!'"
Everyone stared at the door, and then at Tivy. There was a long silence. While she didn't look upset, she did look shocked. She glanced around at the others, then clasped her hands together and looked down at the floor.
"Sowwy."
"Oxyi I swear, I will break this door down. You know I can!" Seeth said.
"Pfft no you won't." She retorted. "Not your precious new ship that YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE US ALL FOR! DON'T THINK I DIDN'T FIGURE THAT OUT, SEETH! YOUR SECRET SHIP THAT CAN RUN WITHOUT A CREW! So don't pretend you care now!"
Seeth's tongue flickered out between her teeth in surprise and irritation, and as she really did contemplate kicking the door down then, Ceri sidled up beside her.
"She's a sassy one when she's stressed, isn't she!" Ceri said, kneeling down and inspecting the lock.
"You're sassy all the time!" Oxyi shouted back, and Ceri stifled a giggle. The look on Oxyi's face a few seconds later when the door clicked and swung open would've been funny, if Ceri hadn't seen it for several hours that day already.
"Stop, STOP!" Oxyi screamed. She'd been leaning back against the sink in only her underwear, and immediately dived for the pile of discarded dresses, covering herself with one. "Turn away, I've got no clothes on! How did you get in?!"
"I'm an engineer and a pirate, Oxyi." Ceri grinned. "You think I don't know how to break the lock on a bathroom door?"
"Quick! Get her back to the bedroom! She's gonna be late if she keeps faffing!"
"No! Nooo!" Oxyi continued to scream dramatically, as if Ceri and the others were approaching her with blood stained knives. "Back, you fiends! I will claw you!"
Seeing her friends fill the room, Oxyi began to tunnel her way into the pile of dresses like her life depended on it. But her desperate defiance was short lived as slightly frustrated hands latched onto her ankles and dragged her out, all whilst the lioness let her best blood-curdling scream loose.
"Fucking hell, Oxyi. You didn't make this much fuss when we first met!" Seeth winced through the noise as they finally got her free from the pile.
"Get a grip, girl!" Tivy added sassily. "A date ain't scarier than Seeth!"
"...Thanks, Tiv."
After what felt like an eternity, Oxyi finally settled on a cute, black skater dress, off the shoulder, its hem flared above the knee. Now that they had a dress, they could think about the rest of her look - which Oxyi was not allowed a say in after the dress mess. Although the room was loud and very opinionated, they collaborated surprisingly well... Oxyi didn't really seem to appreciate the crowd that had gathered in preparation of their captain's date, but she did appreciate the alcohol they'd brought.
Which brings us to now. Tivy stood up on the bed, half her head crimped, waving around a skimpy lime-green shiny dress that she'd made Oxyi buy in one hand, and a half-empty cocktail glass in the other. She wore a tipsy, disappointed pout.
"I still think you should wear this one!"
"She's not going to a rave, Tiv." Geralt tried for a chuckle, but what came out was more of a tired sigh. "Although if you were, Oxyi, he definitely wouldn't lose sight of you in that."
"She'd look like a traffic light!" Someone shouted.
"One third of a traffic light!" Someone shouted back.
"GREEN MEANS GO!" Tivy cried out, humping the air and giggling maniacally.
Oxyi buried her face away in embarrassment as tipsy giggles sounded around the room. She made to down her drink, hands shaking slightly, when Ceri leaned over and stopped her. "That's your third and you've barely eaten today! You are NOT getting smashed before this date."
"Ugh, this is all so silly." Oxyi huffed. She pushed the glass into Ceri's hand and crossed her arms. "I thought a guy was supposed to like you for you, not for this." She gestured dramatically down at her person.
"Your first date should be the best version of you." Seeth said. "Wex'll be dressing up all nice too. You want to make a good impression."
"Can you really comment on that? You literally kidnapped your boyfriend and spent your first date in a SEX DUNGEON! In fact, can any of you in this room comment on that?! Are any of you actually in relationships?!" She glared around primarily at Wex's lot, purposely ignoring Tivy who was bouncing up and down with her hand raised.
Wex's lot didn't seem to notice Oxyi's glare though; they were all now staring at Seeth, with varying expressions of shock, disbelief, confusion and intrigue. There was some poorly concealed arousal there too.
"What's this about a sex dungeon?!"
A sneaky smile teased at her lips. No doubt she'd be a source of pirate gossip and speculation for the next few days. Between this and Oxyi's date, they'd have plenty to keep them entertained. And who was she to deny? She dismissed the questions with a brush of her hand and a purse of her lips.
"It's a very long story, I'll tell you about it later."
"You do remember I was married, right Oxyi?" Geralt continued. The feline was currently sitting cross-legged on the bed behind Oxyi, twisting a pair of straighteners through her hair. Apparently having a teenage daughter made you quite good at girly things, and her hair was coming out nice and wavy.
"My hair's already wavy! Why are you making it wavy?!" Oxyi snapped in frustration.
"Because -" Geralt muttered, "you refused to let us do anything else. And Seeth is right. You should be excited! You're going on a date with a handsome, charming man."
"Hold still, please!" Plasia and Hazel, after discussing quietly amongst themselves had finally agreed on the best makeup palette for Oxyi, and, running low on time, decided to try and tackle Oxyi together. One was currently holding a makeup brush, and the other a stick of eyeliner.
"Not too much!" Oxyi told them for the hundredth time. "I don't want to be caked in it, keep it natural. Just put enough on so he can't see my bright red flushes of embarrassment every five minutes."
"Erm…" Plasia and Hazel glanced at one another. "I think that combination might be impossible."
"Fuck's sake. Is it at least waterproof?" Oxyi wiped her hands against the bedsheets. The date hadn't even started yet and she was sweating.
"You planning on being in the splash zone, Oxyi?" Seeth asked, and Ceri snorted into her drink.
"No! What does that even mean!" Oxyi replied stiffly - Plasia had a gentle but frustrated-firm hold on her jaw as she tried to keep the lioness' head still.
"Almost done…" Finally, Plasia and Hazel stepped back. "Perfect!"
"Cool, thanks guys." Oxyi stood up and rummaged around the formidable pile of shoes that had made it into her room.
"D-Don't you want to take a look?" Plasia gingerly offered her a small hand-mirror, but Oxyi waved it away.
"I trust you guys. Let's just get on with it."
Several eyebrows around the room raised as Oxyi slipped her feet into a pair of black, high-heeled sandals. She wobbled a little as she buckled them up and took a few steps forward, but was otherwise stable.
"Do you wear heels often, Oxyi?" Hazel asked with quiet concern.
"Nope."
"Are you sure you want to -"
"Yep! Alright, everyone out, pre-date party's over. I've been ogled at for long enough. I need five minutes to breathe. And take your stuff with you!"
Slowly the room began to filter out. Seeth and Geralt hovered, and Oxyi managed to flash them a small smile. "You guys too, I'll - I'll meet you outside."
As the room emptied though, Oxyi quickly grabbed Hazel and Ceri. "Not you two though! I…" she glanced about the room, clearly embarrassed and nervous. "I wanna ask you something."
"Sure." They smiled; as frustrating as Oxyi had been all day, she had a face that you just couldn't stay mad at. Once it was just the three of them, Oxyi slid the door shut and leant against it dramatically - she looked exhausted already.
"I… I don't really know how to ask this, or what exactly it is I'm asking." Oxyi fidgeted with her hands. "But… I need to know if I'm doing the right thing. Genuinely."
"What do you mean?" Hazel asked. "We wouldn't have set you up with a bad guy. We wouldn't work for a bad guy."
"I know! I don't mean that, I mean… okay I'm just gonna say it, you guys all fuck, a lot, right?
"What are you implying about us exactly?" Ceri smirked.
"I'm being serious!" Oxyi wrang her hands together. "Look, I know I've been unbearable today, and I am so, so sorry about that. I really appreciate everything you've all done to help me out… but I don't want to just become another one of Wex's ex-girlfriends. Or even worse, just a girl he fucked. You've all said it yourself, he's a catch! And he's been around a hella long time. Why hasn't he been caught, y'know?"
"Oxyi, for all the joking around we do, I promise we're not actually as big a group of slags as we make ourselves out to be." Ceri laughed.
"Relationships are hard in this line of work." Hazel added softly. "If you're lucky you'll click with a crewmate, but if you don't, you're locked into long distance."
"Ugh, cannot recommend. Tried it once, never again." Ceri pulled a face.
"Broke her li'l heart." Hazel pouted, and Ceri pouted back.
"So have you… both dated Wex before?" Oxyi asked. The casual sex was obvious, she didn't even need to ask.
"I did yeah, when I first joined The Fang. Did you officially, Hazel?" Ceri asked.
"Not officially…" Hazel let out a mischievous little giggle. "We've always had a very open relationship, if you get my meaning."
"Poly slut." Ceri snickered.
"So why did you break up?" Oxyi asked, desperately trying to keep the conversation on topic.
"Oh, I'm an argumentative bitch." Ceri grinned. "Didn't realise how hard I'd find it dating my boss. We lasted around a year, but we were just arguing all the time. I don't like being told what to do at the best of times." Ceri winked, then laughed.
"So should I not do this?! Is that gonna happen to us?" Oxyi asked.
"He's not your boss." Hazel replied.
"Yeah, but… what if he becomes my boss?!"
"We aren't the same people!" Ceri said quickly. "And regardless, you shouldn't let that stop you! He has exes, big deal. You've seen the two of us, right? We're fucking besties. We work better that way. And as for what you said before…" Ceri hesitated slightly. "He's had a lot of sex. The dude's five-hundred years old, there's no getting around that. I'd be more concerned if it was the other way round. But he's an absolute gentleman, Oxyi. And if things go well tonight, he will absolutely love and respect the fuck out of you, for as long as you want him to."
"He's an absolute sweetheart." Hazel smiled. "Charming and protective, loyal to the core."
"So… I'm doing the right thing?" Oxyi asked, hope and excitement tingling in her stomach finally after several days of nervous butterflies.
"Hundred percent. If you weren't, we would tell you."
"Okay." Oxyi looked a little calmer now. "Is there anything else I should know?" She asked. "Like, he doesn't have any kids or anything?"
"No, no kids." Hazel replied.
"Well, none that he knows of." Ceri chuckled and nudged Hazel. "The awful jokes he comes out with sometimes, he's definitely got a few floating around somewhere."
"Depends if you count dad jokes as proof of paternity." Hazel giggled. Oxyi laughed too, nervously but genuinely.
"I think I'll choose not to. Is there… Is there anything else?" She smoothed her dress down nervously and turned to look at her reflection - her wardrobe door doubled as a full-length mirror. "Or any advice you could give me? I haven't been on a date for… a while."
"We can't tell you too much, Oxyi! Spoilers!"
"I know, I know. What about advice in general?"
"Hmm…" They thought for a moment. "Don't eat too much." Ceri finally said.
"Pfft, the way I'm feeling right now, that is not a concern." Oxyi's hands traced her stomach as she felt it flip for the umpteenth time.
"I am speaking from experience. You say that now, but Wex has got really good taste." Ceri continued. "I don't know where he's taking you, but I guarantee the food's gonna be amazing."
"Okay, I'll… keep it in mind." Oxyi was still looking at her reflection, eyeing it critically. Hazel and Plasia had done a really good job on her makeup. It was light and even, with just a touch of blush. She wrinkled her nose and a little stray powder fell from her whiskers. She brushed it away, before it could stain her dress.
She still didn't like her legs. Maybe she should put some tights on. Someone on this ship must have a pair of tights - although tights didn't always look wonderful, you had to get special tights if you had fur, otherwise tufts of it would poke out and you'd just look terrible.
The dress though… that wasn't terrible. She was wearing a strapless push-up bra underneath, and as she turned about slowly, she couldn't help but admire the cleavage that had suddenly appeared on her chest. Before now, she didn't even think she had cleavage. Her hair fell gracefully around her shoulders too, tousled but light and tidy.
Maybe… Maybe this'll be okay…
There was a knock outside her door then. "Oxyi, ya gotta get a move on!" It was Tivy. "You'll miss your reservation if you don't leave now!"
"Shiiiiiiit… Okay!" Oxyi took a deep breath in. "I'm ready!"
"Wait!" Ceri stepped forward and reached for her hand. "I do have one teaser for you."
"O-Oh?" Oxyi looked a little worried but intrigued.
"Yeah." Ceri grinned at Hazel, then back at Oxyi. "If the date goes well and things get sexy, Wex likes to be called 'Captain' in the bedroom."
Oxyi blinked. "Right… O-Okay! Thanks guys." She smiled.
"You better be less difficult for date number two."
Oxyi laughed dryly. "Have to get past this one first! Wish me luck. Lord knows I need it."
The three of them left Oxyi's room together. Ceri and Hazel followed as Tivy excitedly pulled Oxyi down the corridor. Seeth positioned herself behind the lioness as they walked, probably tactically, from the panicked glances she kept trying to give the pair as they walked her towards either the best or worst night of her life.
"Do you think we should warn Wex?" Ceri asked Hazel quietly.
"What, that she's a walking bag of nerves?" She whispered back.
"Yeah… Tell him to go easy on her..?"
Hazel thought for a moment. She seemed genuinely unsure. "I'm worried if you do that, it'll stress him out. Oxyi's not the only one who turns into a big mess when they're together."
"Oh my god I know. I've never seen Wex fumble so hard before." Ceri toyed with her phone, fingers hovering over her and Wex's last text conversation. "When did he last go on an actual date? Like, with someone he didn't already know?"
"I don't know… it's been a while though. We've been too busy fucking in our own circles recently."
The two of them giggled, then quickly stifled it as Oxyi glanced back at them again. Ceri stuffed her phone in her back pocket and draped her arm over Hazel's shoulders.
"So do we just… leave them figure it out?"
"...Yeah. I think so."
*
The restaurant Wex had chosen for their date wasn't as far away from the docking bay as the main shopping centre was; it was about a twenty minute walk, thirty if you dawdled, and much of it was through a nice green park.
Wex had chosen a cute restaurant for their first date. Although he hadn't been before, it sounded amazing according to the reviews. It was a place called Meat and Greet, a higher-end place that seemed to actually cater a lot towards first dates. Much of their menu items were dating puns, and came in either smaller or sharer portions. There were a few other nice places in the area too, a cute bar and a club not much further away, if a drink and a dance were so desired after their meal.
The walk to the restaurant was pleasant. It was a warm evening, the sky was turning dark, just enough that the street lamps had flickered on, bathing the cobble pathways through the park in a soft, pale, orange light. Wex had dressed in his classic but incredibly attractive style, wearing one of his favourite pirate-esque jackets with tails reaching down past his waist, but this one was black with red and silver trimmings, rather than his usual brown and gold style. The jacket was coupled with a dark, tight pair of trousers, and knee-high buckled boots of the same colour. The captain himself looked mostly the same as he usually did, with his hair back in his trademark ponytail, but his blonde highlights looked a little bolder than they had a few days ago, as though he'd re-dyed them, and his cheeks were a little rosy. If you asked, he'd say it was probably from the alcohol he'd had before leaving. But this man had had a hell of a long time to adjust to his alcohol, and he didn't so much as sway when he stepped. His hand did, however, shake just ever so slightly as he held it out to his date, and linked her arm within his.
Oxyi tried to drown out the sound of her beating heart with a giggle as he took her arm. Truth be told, she was grateful for it - she hadn't heeded Hazel's advice, and she was already regretting it, her feet already starting to ache from the heels. She walked awkwardly, and a bit wobbly, and she had to try very very hard to walk straight. Oxyi was also significantly less attuned to her alcohol, and as previously pointed out, she hadn't eaten anything all day - more advice she hadn't heeded and was quickly regretting. So, she leant against Wex for support as they walked. To anyone walking past, it would've looked cute. No one would ever have guessed the insane mental gymnastics at play as the pair walked.
They had plenty to talk about. Oxyi asked about the restaurant. Wex would reply as he checked the directions on his phone. He would point out the greenery around them, the stream trickling by, the flowers and the trees and how beautiful it all looked, even in this dimming light. They nodded and laughed, chatted lightly, looking around and admiring the scene - and each other, until the other noticed and they'd quickly glance away with a burning blush.
If the rest of the date goes this well, the date might actually go well!
They smelt the restaurant before they saw it. Meat and Greet revealed itself to be a cute wooden building with large windows, showing off a cosy glowing interior. Outside, dazzling strings of fairy lights stretched from the surrounding trees to the sides of the building. There was a seating area stretching from the front right out back with lots of wooden picnic tables, popular even now as it started to get dark and the air started to cool.
They made their way inside. Wex released his supportive hold on Oxyi's arm so that he could reach out and open the door for her, his boots clunking against the cobblestone pathing even louder than her heels. Speaking of heels, she felt Wex's absence the second he left, and she wobbled precariously while his back was turned. She could already feel blisters forming on the sides of her feet as she clenched her toes and 'walked' through the door.
Thankfully they were seated quickly, at a small table towards the middle of the room so there wasn't much privacy. Their table wasn't directly in the centre though, and the large window beside them looked out onto the park. As Oxyi went to sit, desperate to get off her feet, Wex suddenly all but barged past her, and pulled her seat back for her.
"Can't believe I almost forgot!" Wex laughed, one hand resting on the back of the chair, the other rubbing the back of his neck. "Remembered the door, forgot the chair!" Fucking idiot.
"O-Oh, that's not necessary." Oxyi laughed too, nervously. She glanced uncertainly at the chair, then at Wex, then their waiter as she slowly sat down, who was smiling politely, but seemed to be trying hard not to cringe behind the menus he was holding. Wex pushed the chair forward, but Oxyi didn't really understand how the chair was supposed to move if she wasn't the one moving it, and ended up basically butt-shuffling her way to the table. She smiled in relief when Wex finally sat down opposite her, pulling his coat off to reveal a crisp white shirt and black waistcoat underneath. "That's what happens when you hang around with my lot of miscreants for long enough, you forget your manners." He grinned as he flapped and draped his coat around the back of his chair.
The waiter handed them their menus. "Welcome to Meat and Greet, 'where first dates meet fantastic plates.' If you like, we'll start you off with some drinks? We have a two for one on cocktails."
"Ooh, let's have a look…" Wex clicked his tongue as he scanned down the menu. "What about the 'Tums, Bums and Rum' cocktail?"
"They sound nice!" Oxyi agreed. "Could we get two of them?" She asked politely. She placed the menu down and clasped her hands together.
"Oh, we actually recommend that couples order different drinks." The smile on the waiter's face was reaching a little too close to his eyes. "This is a first date, correct? That's what you said in the booking, sir?"
"Uhh, yeah..?" Wex stared at him blankly. "I'm still not sure why that was a compulsory question -"
"Studies show that couples who order different drinks on their first date are thirty-five percent more likely to go on a second. It's a nice conversation piece, inviting sharing and communication, as well as helping to assist crossing that barrier into physical touch, in a non-intimidating manner."
"A non-intimi… Is that so." The corner of Wex's mouth twitched. He cleared his throat and glanced back down at the menu. "Alright… one Bums, Tums and Rum and one… Smooth-Talking Virgin instead."
"One Tums, Bums and Rum and one Smooth Talking Virgin. Perfect, I'll be back with those shortly! In the meantime please have a gander at the menu, we have singular smaller portions and larger sharer portions of different starters, main and desserts and a great selection to choose from. I personally recommend the Nacho First-Date Devil, sharers always go down a treat." And with that, the waiter spun quickly on his heels and left.
"Water too, for the table please!" Wex called after him, then slumped back in his seat with a roll of his eyes. "I can't say I've ever needed a concoction of different drinks to make a connection with somebody but there we are." Wex glanced across the table at Oxyi, and suddenly seemed to remember where he was, and who he was with. He quickly straightened back up in his seat and flashed her a smile.
The restaurant itself was busy, but not overwhelmingly so. It was clearly popular, but no-one spoke too loudly. Most of the people there were couples, and everyone else larger groups of adults; there were no children running around or causing a ruckus. Gentle classical music played from hidden speakers.
Oxyi smiled nervously back at Wex. I wonder if those are actual statistics, or if they're complete bullshit? Does the restaurant make them say that? Our waiter honestly looks like he'd rather be eating shit out of the trash than serving us. Is it a bad look if we banter and potentially start an argument with a minimum wage worker? None of this made it out of Oxyi's mouth though. She clasped her hands together in front of her on the table. Then, she noticed Wex was still holding his menu, scanning the food options now and she scrambled to pick up hers, almost knocking the oversized candle that had been placed on the table as decoration over. Wex reached forward quickly and steadied it.
"Hah, nice catch!" Oxyi said, a little too loudly, her voice finally working. She hid herself in her menu as she felt heads turn towards her.
"Anything catch your eye?" Wex asked softly, as his sharp eyes flickered between her and the menu.
"Oooh I don't know, it all smells amazing!" She inhaled the air deeply. She had never seen so much food in her life, and it did all smell amazing. As the most wonderful scents and aromas filled her nose, so too did they overwhelm any prior words of advice. "I want to order everything. Is that bad? Does that make me sound really greedy?"
"Nah, you're fine." Wex laughed. "Most of the nomads I take out have the exact same reaction as you."
"...Oh." Oxyi fidgeted slightly. "So do you… take out a lot of nomads?"
Wex blinked, then coughed. "I didn't mean it like that!" He said quickly. "I realise I may have just outed myself as a right whore there." He tried to laugh. "I-I meant in general. Most of my crew are nomads and I'm not dating all of them, I just… like to treat them, y'know? Terrible phrasing on my part."
Oxyi chuckled shyly. "Haha, good! Would kinda suck for me if you were out with another girl every other week or something."
Wex chuckled with her. "You've been talking to Diesel and Ceri haven't you? Please take everything they say with a pinch of salt, they have a tendency to exaggerate, pair of little liars."
"Uh, n-n-o, actually, I haven't asked anyone that much…. And they actually said the opposite…"
"...Ah." Wex internally facepalmed. "My lot aren't usually so, uh… reasonable. Or honest."
Oxyi didn't reply. The silence between them stretched on. They both buried their noses back in their menus, but neither of them read the words in front of them.
Please hurry up with those drinks.
Thankfully for them, the drinks did arrive only a few moments later. Unfortunately for them, the drinks did arrive only a few moments later, and now they had to order food without embarrassing themselves.
"One Tums, Bums and Rum and… one Smooth-Talking Virgin!" The waiter announced loudly, setting the drinks down in the middle of the table for them. Neither drink seemed designated to either person, one with a bright sunset gradient and a mint garnish, the other a soft sparkly pink with a cherry on top, and each drink had two straws. Finally, he did set a pitcher of water down in between, with several slices of lemon and ice cubes floating around in it, so he had at least heard Wex's request. "Have we decided on food? Are we doing starters? I recommend the tear-and-share bread, it's honey - no garlic."
"You don't serve garlic bread here?" Oxyi asked, disappointed.
"Um, no, apologies." The waiter answered with that same tight smile. "Garlic breath doesn't really pave the way towards a successful date."
"...Oh."
"I thought you recommended the nachos." Wex asked with a raised eyebrow.
The waiter turned towards Wex with that far too tight smile.
"What can I get for you?" He asked, blinking repeatedly at the captain.
"Erm…" Wex glanced down at his menu and shot eyes at Oxyi, who looked a little more confident than he did at this point. "Ladies first, if you're ready?"
"Yep! You know what, I am absolutely starved. Let's just order everything now, definitely some starters - can we have starters? Do you want starters?" Oxyi glanced up at Wex, then carried on quickly before he could respond, as her stomach rumbled loudly. "Let's share some!" She hid her reddening checks back within the folds of the menu. The words were all starting to blur together though. I should've asked Wex to order. He looks so much more confident than I do right now. "I'd like a mix of things. T-The triple plates sound good, these ones here." She gestured at the menu, hands shaking slightly.
The waiter raised an eyebrow slightly, but didn't say anything as the lioness' stomach rumbled again. He jotted the order down on a notepad. "And mains?"
"Oh I don't know how I'd choose, it all smells so good! What do you th-think, Wex?"
"I thought a steak might be nice."
"Okay! Uhh…" the words and her brain still an adrenaline-fueled blur, she said "I'll have a T-bone steak, with the fries and mushrooms, oooh and pineapple fritters on the side, please! And I'll have a chocolate sundae for dessert." Stiffling her sigh of relief, Oxyi proudly closed her menu and placed it flat on the table. She'd officially made it past the ordering stage of the date!
Her relative confidence in ordering had put Wex on the backfoot somewhat.
"An excellent choice." The waiter nodded and went to leave, prompting a wave of panic from Wex who slapped his menu shut and blurted out:
"And I'll have the same, please!" with a not too convincing smile.
The waiter paused, tilted his head in confusion before writing the order down regardless. "I'll get this back to the kitchen, it'll be about half an hour for the mains. If you're struggling for conversation, our website has a self-help section for nervous dates. I'd highly recommend giving it a look." The waiter lingered for a little longer than was comfortable, before turning away and leaving.
Once he was out of ear-shot, Wex whipped his phone out and gave the website a quick look.
"Lets see what absurd crap they've put on here, shall we? Ought to be a good laugh."
Oxyi leaned forward on her chair curiously.
"Oh wow. Did you know that forty-seven percent of divorces amongst nomads are caused by bad breath." Wex said non-chalantly.
"Wait what, really?!" Oxyi spluttered.
Wex winked and laughed. "Oh for sure, this incredibly reliable website says so."
"I see." Oxyi laughed too, a little embarrassed. "I actually believed you for a second."
"I've spent a very long time building an aura of competence and reliability, Oxyi. Unfortunately, very rarely do I actually know what I'm talking about." He lifted the cocktail glasses and offered their first choice - the rum - to Oxyi, with Wex taking the other for himself. "So in the spirit of not knowing what I'm doing, shall we rebel against this establishment and have our own drinks to ourselves?"
Oxyi took the drink offered to her. "To rebelling against corporations and minimum wage workers." She giggled, and they clinked their drinks together.
Wex had been right, her drink tasted wonderful, a sensual mix of sweet and smokey flavour, with a hint of spice. She'd finished around half the glass when she finally stopped and put it down. Wex was pouring them both some of the water into two white-crystal glasses.
"I might steal these, they look very nice." He murmured, maybe to Oxyi, maybe to himself, Oxyi wasn't too sure.
"Typical pirate." She replied regardless.
Wex glanced up at her and grinned. "I hope you're not stereotyping me right now."
"No, just judging." She grinned back. "Although I can't judge too much, most of the glasses and cutlery in my old flat came from pubs. The staff actually started to recognise us." She laughed lightly. "I think we were put on a list, word spread and other places wouldn't let us in."
"Hah! Look at that, you're already a pirate. You'll fit right in with us."
Oxyi fidgeted slightly. It was a question she'd been burning to ask since she'd met Wex and his crew, but felt a bit silly asking - although, if there was ever a time to ask such a question, surely it was on your first date?
"What's it like being a pirate?"
"Wow, very open-ended question!" Wex laughed, but it was a question he'd had more than enough experience in answering - not exclusively in a slutty way either, before anyone gets the wrong idea! "It's… Honestly it's impossible to put into words. It's incredible. It can be terrifying, exciting, breathtaking. It's something you have to experience, you know?" His eyes glazed over for a moment, and although his body was physically present, his mind was immediately elsewhere, his eyes sparkled with the stars of the systems he'd visited, constellations twirling and colliding in his irises.
"Is that what you like about it? Travelling?"
"The universe is so much bigger than you'd ever think, Oxyi." He smiled and stared wistfully. "Don't get me wrong, it's a lot of work. It can be incredibly difficult. You meet some incredible people, and you will lose them too. But there's just something about waking up in the morning, and looking out at the expanse of space around you, with no idea where you're going, who you're going to meet or what's going to happen next… It's so liberating. I don't think I could ever settle somewhere and become a mercenary or something. I like my home base on the move." He looked at Oxyi directly then, his eyes still shining. "I've been to so many different places, but there's so still much out there left for me to see. Maybe you could come see some of them with me."
Oxyi burst into a slightly insane-sounding laugh as she blushed a bright beetroot red. She picked her cocktail back up and shoved the straws into her mouth, trying to conceal her fluster. "I-I-I'm not all that well-travelled, I don't know where I'd want to go!" She mumbled around her drink. "I'd probably be boring."
"Come on, there must be somewhere you've always wanted to visit." Wex leaned forward across the table, his eyes sparking like rubies in the restaurant's soft golden light. "Tell me." He asked softly.
"Umm…" Oxyi's mind blanked. She wracked desperately, but in that moment she forgot the name of every planet, every city, every town to ever exist ever, including the one she'd grown up in.
"W-Well, me and a friend always talked about going on an 'around the galaxy in eighty days' trip - in reality we probably only would've needed about three weeks, there wasn't a lot there." She laughed nervously. "I don't really know though! I told you I'd be boring!" Oxyi covered her face with her hands, peeking at him through her fingers.
"It's not boring!" Wex reassured her. He was still smiling as he reached across the table and took her hand gently, pulling it away from her face. "I think it's really sweet."
Oxyi's eyes darted around shyly, trying to find something to stare at that wasn't this incredibly handsome and kind man sitting two feet away from her. He was still holding her hand, gently, the two of theirs resting across the table.
"W-Well, it's my turn to ask you a question again!"
"What do you mean your turn again? I haven't asked you anything yet!" Wex laughed.
"You asked where I'd like to visit!"
"That was off the back of your question!"
"It was still your question."
"I don't recall actually phrasing it as a question. And if I'd known we were taking it in turns, I would've used my question more wisely." There was a hint of sass rising between then, but they were both smiling, and Wex was still gently squeezing her hand. "Ask away then, my dear."
"Hmm… What do you think you'd have been if you weren't a pirate? Like, as a kid, what was your dream job?"
"Oh jeez Oxyi, now you're asking!" He leant back slightly, rubbing the back of his neck. "That was a long time ago."
"Oh my god, was that… was that an inappropriate question?!" her eyes widened. "I'm so sorry."
"Inappropriate? What do you mean?" Wex cocked his head.
"O-Oh. Well I-I mean…" Oxyi stammered awkwardly. "I mean you haven't told us everything, but after your family… died and all that… when you were a child…"
Wex was staring at her, mouth slightly agape.
"I-I just… didn't want to make you think about that!" Oxyi squeaked.
"Um no, actually, I wasn't thinking about any of that stuff, at all when you first asked that question… But that's all I'm thinking about now!" Wex did his unsuccessful best to turn his grimace into a smile, pulling away from Oxyi and raising his hand to his forehead, trying to make it casually look like he was resting against the table, when in actuality he was trying to keep his gaze away from everything. He reached for his glass of water and downed it.
"Shit I've made everything really awkward!" Oxyi laughed nervously as part of her died inside. She snatched both her hands away from the table and thrust them into her lap. They were very sweaty, she realised, and died inside again, hoping that the sweat had miraculously appeared in the five seconds after Wex had let go of her hand, not before. She wiped them quickly on her dress.
Thankfully their waiter arrived just in time - again - to save the lioness from herself, carrying three large platters of food. He laid each of them down between them, spacing them out evenly before proudly announcing "Your starters have arrived!" then leaving immediately.
"S-Starters?!" Wex spluttered, looking at the sheer amount of food between the pair. "This would be my food for a week! I thought you ordered tapas plates?"
"S-So did I!" Oxyi cleared her throat and fumbled back through the menu before fanning herself with it frantically. "I might have ordered us three group sharers… by accident!"
"...Well, you did say you're hungry!" Wex said with a forced lightheartedness. Before him was a mountain of mashed potato, half an ocean's worth of a seafood platter, and two dozen chicken wings stacked high on a plate. He reached for one of the wings, and Oxyi immediately followed suit. Ravenous, her hunger quickly overpowered her anxiety and she started to devour the food before them.
"It was a genuine question though." She said around a mouthful of calamari, desperately trying to claw the conversation back. "What did you want to do growing up - if you don't mind answering!" She rushed the last part of her sentence out.
Wex, eager to get the date back on track, smiled as he answered her. "Realistically, probably something not too far off from what I'm doing now. Something to do with mechanics or engineering. Non-realistically, I was gonna be a rockstar."
Oxyi choked on her laugh, bits of mashed potato flying out of her mouth. She immediately covered her mouth with her hand, eyes widening in horror as she continued to cough. She was pretty sure a splodge of mash had landed on a platter right in front of Wex.
"It's not that funny, Oxyi, a lad's allowed to have dreams!"
"I'm sorry!" Oxyi managed to breathe out as she recovered. "It is funny. I can see it though. You've got the style." She gestured to her hair, and Wex responded with a flick of his own. "Can you… sing, then?" She felt herself blushing again. She had visions in her mind's eye, Wex standing on a stage, silhouetted by bright fluorescent lights… They were all incredibly cringe but also incredibly hot…
"I wouldn't go that far. I dabble in guitar. And drums, but only when I'm mad." Wex chuckled. "My parents used to say I was a natural-born drummer, but in reality I was just a kid with a hell of a lot of pent-up energy. And a problem with his big brother. Me and Diego used to share a bedroom, and if I started playing the drums in there he'd get annoyed and fuck off somewhere else."
"You do give off 'annoying younger brother' vibes." Oxyi smiled. As Wex busied himself then pouring another water, Oxyi reached across the table, feigned going for a napkin, and quickly wiped the stray blob of mash away from their food. Rubbing it between her fingers, she continued calmly. "Do you still play?"
"When I have time. So no. Do you have siblings?" He asked as he reached for some seafood. His stomach was already beginning to protest the portion sizes, but Wex was not one to be outdone on a first date.
"No. Lots of cousins but no siblings." Oxyi replied, still shovelling food into her mouth.
"And what about you? If you didn't go into merc work, what would you do instead?"
"I dunno! I always specialised in security work. I was trying to start my own business, I never really thought about alternatives..." She giggled then. "Espionage, maybe."
"Espionage? Fancy yourself a spy?" Wex raised an interested eyebrow.
"No, not really." She laughed. "But before we met you, I followed Robin - you know, Turkey Robin -"
"Turkey Robin, yes." Wex chuckled.
"We were suspicious he was up to no good, so I followed him around, collecting intel, and watched him all spy-like. Had my phone ready to take all sorts of compromising photos."
"Did you have a big hat and newspaper to hide behind?"
"Wex I'm being serious!" Oxyi thumped the table in mock-frustration. "I didn't have a dumb hat, j-just my scarf…" She narrowed her eyes as Wex badly tried to stifle his laugh. "I followed him all day! He didn't spot me once. And I was good at it, I found out he was cheating on Venner."
"Oh, wow." Wex was still smiling teasingly, but he seemed impressed. He waved his hand in front of his face. "I can see it now - Oxyi Vennit - Private Investigator."
"Wex!"
"I'm being serious!" He laughed. "You're good with a gun. You've got a flare for adventure. Good people skills - so long as they're not good looking." He winked at her, and she blushed profusely. She stared down into her lap.
"Would that be your dream job too then? Nomad spy?"
"Tree surgeon!" Oxyi blurted out.
Wex blinked at her. That smirk re-appeared on his lips. "A tree surgeon?" he repeated.
Oxyi wasn't sure why, but she felt embarrassed at that. Maybe it was the way she'd blurted it out far too loudly, and people were looking at her again. "It's a respectable profession!" She snapped, partly to Wex, partly to the room.
"It's just not what I was expecting you to say!" Wex's smirk was growing. "And uh, why is a tree surgeon your dream job?" He reached for his cocktail and popped the straws in his mouth, sucking on them innocently.
"I-I-I mean, where I used to live there were… lots of trees." Oxyi stumbled over her words. She could see Wex was trying not to laugh, even though she wasn't looking directly at him. "Looking after trees, chopping them down… I don't know!" She quickly conceded. "I just liked the idea of walking around with a chainsaw, okay!"
"So you don't actually know anything about being a tree surgeon?" Wex's shoulders were shaking.
"No." Oxyi snapped again. "Just that there's chainsaws."
Wex pulled back then, having decided he'd teased her enough. He breathed deeply and calmed himself down. "Do you like your weapons then, Oxyi?"
"I do! - Wait, is it not my turn to ask you something now?!"
"I want to ask my own questions thank you! I don't want to just be 'what about you-ing' for the rest of the evening. So that's my question. I'd like to know more about your security work! And your guns." He leaned forward on the table, propping his hands under his chin, a wild, cheeky glint in his eye at the word.
"Oh, now we're talking!" Oxyi relaxed into her chair for quite possibly the first time in over a week. "Something I actually know a bit about!"
"So I couldn't help but notice you using a pump-action shotgun as your main weapon. Tell me a bit about it."
"Shotguns, of course, are the spork of guns."
Wex snorted loudly in response, quickly reaching for a napkin in response and covering his face as he choked back laughter. But Oxyi took the laughter in her stride as a genuine smile broke over her face.
"What? It's true! They're multi-purpose and far more dependable than people tend to think! You can load different ammo types easily, it's no sweat to maintain and perfect for fighting at close to mid range." She finished her speech by jabbing her fork - locked and loaded with a king prawn - towards Wex, before bringing it straight back to her mouth.
Wex raised a single finger as he fought to reestablish his composure, before returning the napkin to the table.
"Just like a spork! All true! But why pump-action? Gas and mag loaded is readily available these days. Wouldn't you want a semi or full auto?"
"Honestly? I just love action weapons. It brings you closer to them. I know it's less tactically optimal, but a pump-action just feels right to use."
"I couldn't agree more."
"Oh? I don't see you using any, Mr Akimbo."
"I would love to! I've got a lever action shotgun in my personal armoury somewhere but I can just never fit it into my fighting style. But…" He leaned in closer, lowering his voice. "Using it makes me feel like a total badass. In a completely lame way. I don't generally need to prop up my ego but using that gun… I feel like a movie star."
The lioness chuckled genuinely and nodded along.
"Me too! It's infectious isn't it? You realise I'm going to need to see you using that shotgun now. You can't just drop that in and expect me to follow up."
"Consider it done! Next time we're at the shooting range, I'll get cranking that lever for you." Wex winked, sitting back up straight. Oxyi giggled again and glanced off to the side, her cheeks flushing a warm pink before she brought herself back to Wex's gaze comfortably.
"Please do… I have to ask though, is it not hard tracking multiple targets at the same time with those dual pistols? It looks so natural when you do it!"
"You get used to it, but it takes a lot of practice. You need to know your weapons perfectly. Any adjustments can completely throw my aim off."
"Really? I mean, it makes sense but it looks like you just do it, you know?"
"I'm glad it looks that way but gun combat was not my speciality, at all. I've had to put in a lot of hours at the range to land my shots. It was a tough journey too, lots of learning on the job. I'd never even fired a gun before becoming a pirate, I was a complete rookie."
"Oh wow, really? I'd never have guessed! You honestly look very comfortable now."
"Yup. I get that a lot. But I was never the accurate sibling. Our eldest sister, Elise, was training to become a sniper. She was an amazing shot. When she was younger, she had a sling that she could nail an acorn off a tree from across the yard. Diego on the other hand never touched guns or slings of any sort but was always very good with his hands. Even as a kid, he could drive a nail into a two-by-four with a single hit of dad's hammer. Dad couldn't even do that. Me? I was… very good at causing trouble and running away from it. Slippery as hell. If I didn't want to be caught, I wouldn't be. I think it's the only reason I survived being a pirate for so long." Wex stopped and looked up at Oxyi, afraid he'd overshared or soured the mood, but the lioness met his anxious gaze with a tender smile.
"Its actually super admirable that you gained your skills through learning though. It shows real dedication. It's one thing to have a natural talent, it's another to make it happen yourself."
"Thank you, Oxyi. That's very sweet of you to say." Wex smiled back.