CHAPTER 58: Sakura's decision
In the thick of the fog, Sakura looked over the desolate area. Despite its emptiness, she felt an something clinging to her like a shroud, thick and oppressive. With ghostly whispers and murmurs all around her that seeped into her ears, haunting echoes of promises she couldn't keep. When she attempted to open her mouth, to fight back with her words, she found none. Her attempts to break her own silence proved futile as no voice emerged, not even a choked sob when she intended.
Desperation clawed at her throat as she clutched it, yearning for a sound that remained elusive. While the world around her remained a canvas of nothing. An infinity of emptiness that couldn't be filled. For Sakura it was mocking. As if to remind her of everything that was wiped from her life. With nothing but her in the fold.
In the disquieting voice, her bare feet pressed on the ground, yet she felt nothing as her steps carried her with direction and purpose that shouldn't exist in this world. She kept walking for what felt like eternity. She barely registered when the terrain had shifted, and there was now glass blades kissing her feet.
She looked forward as a sight unfolded like pulling back a curtain of fog in the distance. Mountains emerged, carved with familiar faces of the village leaders she had learned in class. Including her mentor. Then she saw the gates. The ones that always welcomed her home, towering over the entire village, protecting everyone within its embrace.
And that's when she began to fill with hope.
With an opening grand and familiar, figures emerged from the distance. Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, Lee, Tenten, Neji, Sai, Naruto, even Sasuke. A collective reunion at the threshold of their village.
At that moment, the weight of worries dissipated. Oblivious to the ominous heaviness enveloping her, Sakura pushed forward, one determined footfall after another. Her eyes, alight with joy, as she looked on at the cherished faces of her comrades and friends. Standing to welcome her back into their circle. Back where she belonged.
Yet as she moved closer, some unseen force, insidious and heavy clamped down on Sakura, trying to anchor her in place. A cruel positioning. Just out of reach from the ones she loved. The distance between her and the welcoming assembly of friends widened, and she watched with horror in her stomach as they began to turn away, their backs meeting her now.
"Don't go!" she wanted to scream, her voice lost in the void. "Wait for me!" Desperation etched her face as she propelled herself forward against the weight that sought to tether her. Yet, futile it was, as they retreated, growing smaller and more distant.
"STOP!"
The plea tore from her, a cry of desperation echoing through the emptiness. But her friends continued to make their departure towards the village, as if they were already complete. The village gates themselves began to close…leaving her shut out.
"NO!"
When Sakura pulled herself upright, she didn't realize that she was in a hospital room. Still clutching onto the vivid dream that blinded her sense of reality. As she gasped, she felt the skin of her cheeks pulled and wrestled with the bans around her head to remove the oxygen mask. Panting heavily, beads of sweat clinging to her forehead, she cast frantic glances around the room, desperately seeking any lingering trace of her friends. Yet, it was a futile endeavor, they were gone.
The illusion still lingered steadily in her mind and the feelings that encompassed it. Reailty finally began to settle after a few minutes, leaving her stranded in the emptiness of the hospital room. The same position she found herself in when she came to this world.
Sakura sank back onto the hospital bed. Her arms instinctively shielded her face as if to block out the light and the harsh truth. Breathing heavily, she wrestled with the turbulent emotions stirred by the dream, a cruel reminder of what once was and what could never be again.
Tears welled in her eyes, the remnants of a grief so profound it defied words. She allowed herself a moment of vulnerability, a respite from the facade of strength she wore in the waking world.
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Shouta could sense the tension the moment he entered the hospital room, his eyes didn't miss the agitation now evident on Sakura's face. It was surprising to see how clear she was, when she was usually so composed even under the harshest conditions with her life on the line. But for the first time, she appeared vulnerable. Reminding Shouta that she was indeed still a child.
The hospital staff were quick to update the hero once Sakura was found awake and demanding to be discharged. He didn't waste any time getting there to ensure she didn't attempt anything foolish.
He quickly relayed updates on the team's recovery, "Nighteye is still asleep, but his condition is stable. Everyone else is also stable, Recovery Girl looked over all of them, including your classmates and they're already back at UA."
Restlessness consumed Sakura as she fidgeted with her fingers, "What about Eri?"
"She's just fine. Been asking about you since yesterday. It was a little hard to get her to eat when she wanted to wait for you,"
Sakura let out a breath, "When can I see her?"
Shouta's response, tinged with a frown, "Haruno, you understand that you aren't going to be able to keep the girl?"
"I've been taking care of her just fine on my own," Sakura said.
"I'm not accusing you of failing in looking after her. But you can't expect it to continue,"
"Yes, the laws won't allow it, right?" She wasn't saying it with malice, but rather a tone of compliance, acknowledging the legal restraints. Though she still held clear discontent for them or perhaps it was at the notion of having Eri taken away from her.
Despite that Sakura knew she wouldn't be able to hold onto Eri forever, this was not how she would've wanted to let her go either. But at this moment, Sakura could barely keep herself from sinking into the shadows, where she would have to keep herself upright alone.
Shouta's stern expression softened briefly as he continued, "Haruno, in all the time I've been teaching and dealing with troublesome teenagers, none of them have given me the kind of paint staking grief that you have."
"Am I meant to apologize for exceeding your expectations?"
He didn't give a reprimand for her comment. And just continued. "Given the circumstances, you should by all means be arrested and sent to prison. Eri will need to be given to a proper guardian. But from what we've learned, her grandfather is in a coma, and her mother abandoned her."
Sakura wiped a hand over her face, "Eri can't control her powers; they can be dangerous if they get out of control. I've been able to suppress it, but I doubt you're going to find anyone else who can pull that off besides you. So if she goes to anyone, there's a chance whoever has Eri will be in danger of her quirk losing control. It also hurts her."
Shouta's gaze lingered on Sakura, catching the fatigue etched into her features.
Shouta could cancel Eri's quirk if it got out of hand, but that meant he would need to be able to reach her quickly. Since the damage that could be caused in mere seconds wasn't something they could undo. A rewind quirk, as Kai had stated, was enough to erase the existence of a person's quirk. And from what Sakura gathered, Eri was able to erase a person as well.
"That's why UA has decided to take the girl," Shouta said, "She'll be coming back to the school, we haven't told her any of this though,"
"Why not?"
"She's been asking for you since yesterday," He repeated, knowing she would understand what he was intending.
Folding her arms, Sakura leaned back into her pillows. She wanted to tell Eri that Kai was gone for good. There was nothing to fear anymore, she could finally live a normal life and experience a regular childhood. But at the same time, she didn't know if she could handle breaking Eri's heart when she told her that she wouldn't be able to stay with her anymore. This was going to happen at some point, but now that it was time to cross it, Sakura felt hesitant.
From this point, she would be on the run, and it wouldn't be fair to force Eri to embark on that hardship. Not when Sakura couldn't guarantee her presence. And at UA she would be able to learn and grow while being protected. It was better than sticking her in the foster system.
"So," she began, her tone carrying a hint of defiance, "When should I expect the police?"
Shouta, however, had other plans. With a deliberate move, he dropped a stack of papers on the table. The contents were a revelation for Sakura. The application for the dorm system at UA and, buried underneath, guardian papers.
"What's all this?" Sakura inquired, her curiosity tinged with suspicion.
"A choice," Shouta replied, taking a seat beside her hospital bed, his expression unreadable.
As Sakura delved into the documents, the surprise on her face was palpable. Guardianship papers, not as a ward of Hawks, but a direct affiliation with UA until she turned 18. It was a significant shift, both in her legal status and her relationship with Hawks. But what had made them come up with this decision?
"The commission wanted to charge you for your crimes, but Principal Nezu stepped in and made them an offer," Shouta explained, laying bare the negotiations behind the scenes.
Sakura, however, wasn't one to take such matters lightly. "I'm not some prized show horse."
This was more than just about a transfer of legal guardianship, something that Sakura had barely been maintaining with the Safety Commission. The only reason she even allowed it to function was because of Hawks. He was present at a minimal degree, and their interactions were not so unpleasant that she couldn't tolerate him long enough to tick the boxes that allowed her to have her own residence while she searched for a way back home. At the time when Sakura barely knew anything of this world, she wanted to blend in. Gain acceptance to gain information. But it hadn't even wielded the results she wanted and had left Sakura in a type of limbo she didn't want to go down for the sake of her sanity.
The papers symbolized more than just a change in legal guardianship; they were a crossroads, a juncture that demanded a decision with far-reaching consequences. UA, with its dorm system and protective walls, painted as a sanctuary. Yet, it also represented a relinquishing of independence, a dance with rules and expectations.
"When the police were transporting Kai Chisaki to Tartarus, they were attacked by the League of Villains," Sakura's eyes widened at the information. "Shigaraki attacked him, though he'll live, it'll be without hands. They also killed one of the heroes that were escorting with the police, and stole the last of the quirk-canceling bullets,"
"Persistent," Sakura mused though her expression was one of concern. If the League of Villains had stolen the quirk-canceling bullets, that meant they were still intending to run and function. Even without their head. Like a spider. And their only known target had been UA, its heroes, faculty and students.
"That's the point," Shouta responded, his tone laden with weariness."And you're likely on their radar. Especially since you're the one who took down their boss,"
"I can take care of myself," Sakura retorted.
Shouta rubbed his eyes with exhaustion. "That's become apparent."
Shouta's first impression of Sakura had been that she was a bit of an arrogant brat, who didn't know how the world worked. Like many of his students. While her skills far surpassed anyone he had ever taught, he didn't think that alone would get her very far. Until he found that she had more practicality than he was led to believe.
Her principles were set in her heart. And he couldn't interact in the same manner as he did with his other students or she would simply seek to act on her own.
"This says that I agree to finish the hero program and graduate UA."
"In turn, everything on your record will be expunged. After that, you're free to do as you like, work as a hero, become a doctor, whatever you want," Shouta explained, his hand resting atop the papers. "I'm urging you to really consider this, Haruno. Don't just act rashly because it's not what you want in this moment."
The room seemed to hold its breath as Sakura contemplated the papers.
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Uncertainty was swirling in Sakura's mind. Stuck in bed for another night of observation, she couldn't shake off the questions echoing within her.
Shouta had mentioned that Izuku, Ochaco, Tsuyu, and Eijiro, had wanted to visit, but they were swiftly sent back to school upon recovery. Anyone who knew Sakura as Nemesis was told to keep that information to themselves. It was a gesture to protect her, to shield her from the potential fallout.
It wouldn't look good for a returning UA student to have that kind of background. Things were already tense about the situation surrounding the school since the dorm systems were implemented.
'Why would they do this?' She wondered. She had given that school and everyone in it nothing but difficulties with her actions.
As she lay there, Sakura couldn't help but ponder this unexpected leniency from UA. The school and its occupants had bore the brunt of her actions. Why then, this willingness to welcome her back? It teetered between being endearing and ludicrous in her mind.
Eri, too, was destined for UA now. Sakura's thoughts danced around the possibilities. Could she have continued as she had with Eri? The answer didn't seem optimistic, but the abruptness of this ending caught her off guard. Whatever misgivings she harbored about UA, a grudging acknowledgment crept in. the institution provided a safer haven for Eri than the unpredictability of the foster system.
'What should I do?'
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There was a knock at the door and one of the nurses came in before Sakura could call for them to enter. The nurse looked flustered, like a fish out of water, as she gestured from her clipboard to the door.
"What's the matter?" Sakura asked.
"Um, you have a visitor…."
"A visitor now?" Visiting hours were already over. Sakura thought it might be Shouta coming back to give her additional information, or perhaps someone else from the school. The door opened further and her visitor walked in.
Keigo walked in, with a charming smile that made Sakura's skin crawl with disdain. It was the same feeling she would get whenever Sai smiled at her, knowing he didn't hold true sincerity behind it, but rather wore a smile as another form of armor. Keigo on the other hand, always appeared sincere, yet Sakura didn't feel that from him. It was like looking into murky water, knowing something is lurking beneath the surface but it won't appear to confirm it until you set a foot in.
Then she saw red, literally petals of red roses filled her vision that took up nearly half of Keigo's image.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Sakura's words carried a sharp edge, a tone that matched the furrowed brows on her forehead.
Hawks, seemingly unbothered, pouted with feigned hurt. "That's a nice greeting for our grand reunion. considering the last time we saw each other,"
"You mean when I left you face down eating dirt?"
"Ouch," He clutched at his chest as if wounded, but still grinning. "You're going to break my heart if you keep talking like that. And after I went through all this trouble to bring you flowers."
She watched as he casually set the flowers on a nearby table, his demeanor more relaxed than hers could ever be. There was an air of familiarity that bordered on annoying.
"I see you've gotten yourself in some trouble again, huh?" he remarked, coming close to ruffling her hair.
Hawks sighed, his expression shifting from playful to something more serious His eyes, keen and observant, locked onto Sakura.
"The commission wanted to have you incarcerated. When UA gave the offer to take you in, I gave a little push in that direction. Better to be a student than in prison, right?"
Sakura's response was measured, "That remains to be seen."
"See, you haven't signed anything yet. Can't do anything until that happens," Hawks remarked.
Sakura shifted in her hospital bed, crossing her arms, her gaze wandering from the ceiling to the persistent presence of Hawks. His watchful eyes followed her every move.
"Take me out," she declared abruptly, the words hanging in the air.
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The vibrant pulse of Tokyo spread beneath them like a living, breathing entity. From the towering skyscrapers to the winding river, the city unfolded like a tapestry covered in light. Sakura clutched onto Hawks arms that were around her waist, keeping her tucked at the center so he could protect her from the wind force at the altitude.
"When you said 'take me out,' I was thinking more along the lines of a date, but this isn't bad either. Kind of reminds me of that scene from Titanic." Hawks teased, his feathers adjusting seamlessly to the currents as he navigated the sky. They flew over the city at blurring speeds that gave them the view of a kaleidoscope of colors. Listening to the faint sounds of people.
"I don't know what that means."
"You've never seen Titanic?"
"No." That long with every other deemed classic in this world, but she had spent most of her time turning away Keigo's offer to watch anything.
Finally, they approached a towering building, its glass exterior gleaming like a beacon against the night. Hawks gently descended, the wind settling as they landed on a spacious platform at the building's summit. The panoramic view of Tokyo unfolded before them, a breathtaking vista that seemed to stretch infinitely.
Hawks let out a low whistle. "Not a bad view, huh? But can I get an answer as to why you wanted to go flying with me?"
Sakura just stared overhead at everything spread out before her.
"Why did you want to come up here?" Hawks asked, breaking the silence.
"I was thinking of jumping," she admitted calmly.
Hawks recoiled, "That's not funny,"
"I wasn't joking," Sakura said, her voice steady as she looked down. The confession hung in the air, a heavy truth between them. "Falling from high places, that's what got me here in the first place. And sometimes I'd like to think it could take me back."
Sakura just wanted to get out of the hospital, but she couldn't resist taking the chance to make the hero sweat a little as payback for his unexpected visit.
"Does this have to do with going back to UA?" Keigo asked. "Come on, I'm here, talk to me,"
"Why should I tell you anything?" Sakura shot back, her eyes narrowing. "You've been hiding your intentions since we met,"
Keigo let out a breath, "What? I'm an open book,"
"You can fool everyone else Hawks. But nothing you say reaches your eyes,"
Hawks sighed, a weariness crossing his features. "What would it take for you to believe that I mean well?"
Sakura stared at him, unyielding. "Actions speak louder than words."
"Fair enough," Hawks conceded. "Even though I've given up my post, you can count on me to give you a hand if you're in trouble. But you've got to let me know. I can't keep flying in the dark,"
Sakura scoffed, "Typical heroes. You just have to stick your noses in everyone's business,"
"Hey, I'm just here to make sound judgment, especially concerning loss causes which you're starting to come off as to everyone. And lost causes can be dropped even by heroes,"
"That so?" Sakura had a glimmer of a challenge in her eyes before she moved, and her feet was in the air.
Sakura closed her eyes as she felt the wind rush against her, pressing into her face, her arms spread wide as gravity drew her forward. Her mind began to flash with that moment when she was taken from her world. The same sensation followed her, and she felt her body beginning to burn with her chest aching.
'If I go back are Sasuke and Naruto going to be there waiting for me?'
She remembers that Naruto swore they would die together and Sakura was determined to save them if the fight came to pass but so much time has already gone by. Was there going to be a team left for her if she managed to return?
The dread seemed to weigh down on her body so heavily that she couldn't move.
Yet, in that moment of uncertainty, Keigo's wings sliced through the air like a hawk on the hunt. He reached her, one hand cradling her head as he swooped down to catch her like prey. The intensity of his golden eyes, usually concealed behind a veil of detachment, now glared fiercely into hers.
As they landed on the rooftop of a nearby building, Keigo's frustration burst forth. "Are you out of your mind!?" He shook her slightly, a mix of concern and exasperation etched on his face. "You'd take a plunge just to challenge me! That was far from reckless!"
Sakura shrugged and spoke in a calm tone that made Keigo's feathers bristle. "You looked like you were challenging me, weren't you?"
He stilled, looking to the heavens as if to beg for the strength to face this girl and back down to Sakura. "Don't even, that was unnecessary and thoughtless. Is it that easy for you to throw your life away?"
"You've got enough proof don't you think?" Sakura shrugged, "Besides I wasn't worried, a hero always saves the day here right?"
Keigo clenched his fists, and Sakura saw that his mask was beginning to crumble. "That's not an excuse to-
"I didn't say it was," Sakura pointed to him, "I'm not trying to prove anything. I just...I needed to feel something, even if it was the fear of falling. It's better than the numbness. With your speed, you could easily catch me, but you panicked why?"
He stopped. She was right about that, he had panicked watching her do this. Out of every move he couldn't have predicted Sakura to be that determined to deface him. If the story was spun the right way the commission would consider her a suitable apprentice for him. The next Hawks. The hero under the Hero Public Safety Commission. The one who dealt with society beneath the surface and buried all the true ugliness of the world away from the people. She could have what it takes.
Because she was someone with nothing left to lose. If they didn't take advantage of that now, someone else in the future probably would. But Keigo felt hesitant.
Letting someone else dirty their hands just as he had, wasn't something he ever thought he would be preparing another for. Yet here he was.
He sighed, "Let's get you back,"
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Keigo brought her back to the hospital, keeping his promise of secrecy. Leaning over her, he whispered, "If you ever want another fly, just call, and I'll be there as quick as I can."
"I don't need your sympathy, Hawks,"
"You need a lot more than that kiddo,"