AUTHOR'S POV
Deeply taking a lungful of air, Atrius rested his back against the boulder with his legs extended. Almost losing his strenght pressing on the wound by his midriff, he struggled to keep his eyes open. Earlier, while he's braving the crawler with his sword, he was scratched by its tail straight right across his abdomen. A large tear ripped his shirt, with a deep cut on his skin.
"How long… has it been since they left?", Atrius wearily wondered with a very deep sigh. Every part of his body shivered, as he lose his own warmth.
He gaped his dry mouth open, staring at the soft glow in the sky. Good memories played on replay on his mind, wrinkling the sides of his wet eyes. The best ones were more vivid, bothering him too much that he could hardly keep his emotions in.
With denial, it all seems to end here. He had so many chances to live comfortably beyond his greatest expectations. He could've come home to his mother, and get a taste of her mouth watering home baked bread. The smell of her fritters by the window, would lure him in after an all-day work at his stepfather's field.
Or he could put a crown on his head if he could have just accepted the love of his father, King Desmun. Probably, rule the sands thereafter. Have an army of sand soldiers fight his battles in the frontline. Wear hand-crafted embellished clothes. Be surrounded by maids, prepared to serve him at the snap of his fingers. And receive outpouring love from different bevy of maidens willing to be his wives.
And yet, here he is, dying slowly… alone on the cold ground beside the cadaver of a crawler somewhere in the prairie.
The future that he imagined faded like dust in the wind. Out of his pride and personal will, he intended to fulfill his own destiny. He carved the lines in the palm of his hands, and committedly wanted to build a name for himself.
Be the first Viermese to become a knight in Nether… alongside Helena.
Helena's fair face dawned on him, making him shed quiet tears. Her timid smiles one day became too pretty for anyone else to see. Her soft snores when she sleeps in the library were endearing. Her boisterous laughs pretending to be a man entertained him. The serious notes on her face as she think deeply were irresistibly charming. And the way she calls his name, it gave him a surreal feeling like a cloud in the sky. Her presence gave him a new sense of happy. It was simple and raw.
Is this love?
It can't be. A former celibate priest is not capable of such love. As hard as he can, he drew a thick line between him and Helena that he dared not to cross. During those days, Atrius refused to reap his unclear feelings. However, he can't help to miss the certain calm in their shared nights by the bonfire.
Now, as he feel his demise deep into his bones, he can't deny now that his fantasies are full of her. Catching himself lost in blank stares at the ceiling during his prison time in the palace, his thoughts were filled with his voice calling her name… manifesting she'd come to him. Counting the times that he neither think or spoke of her, Atrius realized… it's none.
He never stole glances. He was more like staring closely at Helena, refusing to look away. Whether memorizing the lines on her face, or counting the times she blinks her eyes, he loved her being around.
His what ifs fueled his pile of disappointments, shaking his head with a tearful smile of regret. He clenched his teeth, desperate to hear the sound of her voice one last time. And maybe, just maybe… seeing those gray eyes before his last breath wouldn't be so bad.
What stopped him?
He kept that grit feeling chiselling his bones behind the nonchalant facade, when he sees Helena and Stellan meet in the eyes, well hidden. The happier Helena becomes beside Stellan, the harder it is to look at her. Atrius did not made it obvious not even once, as he make his feelings unknown. Despite it was storming hard in his chest, he chose not to become aware of those complex sentiments hoping that they would calm and eventually, disappear. But, everytime he sees Stellan, his insecurities grew… much more the enmity that he denied.
Atrius fought the urge to shiver as the rain starts to pour. He stuck out his tongue for the last taste of water. At this moment, he appreciates the growing pain from his terrible cut, more than the unforgettable moment when he almost drown in the suffocating weight in his chest after witnessing Stellan and Helena sharing a passionate kiss during her paladin training in Brandenburg. That was how hell feels like, he thought. No fires and devils, just enduring secret sorrows behind a happy smile.
In the other page of his flashbulb memories, he despised the rain. The ultimate enemy of Helena, that supresses her powers.The dark clouds and thunders make him nervous, especially now that Helena's being chased by dangers. "Ahhhh.. damn..", he rested his head back tightly shutting his eyes closed, feeling hundreds of raindrops wetting his face. Then, he let out a sharp sigh that choked him leading to a painful cough. "I… love her", Atrius knew it from the start. He just didn't welcomed the idea of it.
Pins and needles started to spread from his toes and fingers. The pain is everywhere. More than ever, he craves for water. "Is this… dying?", he uttered softly. It was slow and painful. The chilling winds seeped through his bones, as his blood mix with rainwater. The puddles of water surrounding him grew bigger. The grasses rustled at the breeze that accompanied the rains. It was the loneliest point in his life compared to being in solidarity during his priesthood days.
Atrius winced as he curl up, prepared to succumb to his wound at any moment. Relaxing his body at the sound of the rain, he suddenly heard a faint flapping sound nearing. The winds blew harder, and the grasses rippled like wave across the prairie. He never thought that he would end up being devoured by another monster.
"Atrius!!!"
Atrius thought he's starting to hear things. His name repeatedly sounded in the wind. With eyes half open and the rain pouring, he couldn't see where the voice is coming from. Must be the grim reaper fetching him from the underworld, he thought.
"Atrius!!", the man yelled at the top of his lungs as he found Atrius laying almost lifeless by the boulder. Riding a winged horse from above, he descended near where Atrius is, and immediately hopped down the winged horse at a reachable height. "Oh Lord, why didn't you tell us?!", he was baffled seeing such an apalling sight.
Atrius, barely alive with skin as white as a sheet, sees the man who just got off a winged horse in a blur. He was inaudibly mouthing words and muffling yells as he draw closer. The man with a familiar physique dashed in a few strides and knelt by his side. Atrius lifted his heavy eyes, and finally recognized the man's face. "Jac..", he softly whispered.
"Hey, man", Quickly, Jac stripped his shirt and wrapped it Atrius' wound. "I got you, Atrius!", Jac held his freezing body, and walked him to the pegasus.
With no more strength left to argue, Atrius didn't protested. He was hung on his stomach at the pegasus' back. And in no time, the winged horse broaden its wings and flew. It darted onwards, above the ground withstanding the rains. Jac got his grip, and steered the coat reins all the way without any intention of slowing down. "Hang in there, Atrius!!", he said, rushing along with his heartbeat sounding like a drum.
Moments later, they reached a watch tower with a conical roof towering at fifty meters at the borders of Nether. The pegasus spiraled from the roof, past the large open windows at the upper level, down the arrow slit apertures surrounding each storey. The rains stopped as soon as they landed by the shut door of the abandoned stronghold. Instantly, Jac alighted from the pegasus, and carried his passed out passenger like a sack of potatoes. He bolted to the entrance, and kicked the wooden door wide open.
Stellan, who was dozing off on the straw bed, sprung up at Jac's loud and clumsy gestures. Lifting his droopy eyes, he gasped dragging himself out of the bed. "What's going on?", his voice cracked figuring out who Jac just brought in.
Jac's face was hard to paint. He carried Atrius inside the already warm circular brick-made fort coming from the dying blaze of the hearth. Leaving a trail of water on the musty earthen floor, he walked past the open arrow slit windows that gives the room a soft after-rain pastel glow. Just by the spiral staircase with concrete stone handrails that ascends all the way up to the tower, Jac gently laid Atrius down on the bed that Stellan just emptied.
"What.. happened?", Stellan sat on the bed beside the wearied body of Atrius. Realizing the gravity of the situation, she removed Atrius' shoes, and stripped off his wet clothes. At once, she pulled out an old blanket and covered Atrius's pale body. "This is bad".
Jac was even more pale than Atrius. He needn't put the dilemma into words. With a pressing need, he went his way to the hearth, grabbed some more firewoods and tossed them in the fire. Dripping wet, he rummaged the overhead cabinets and wooden chests frantically, despite knowing that they were empty in the first place. "We… we have to treat his wound. He's barely breathing!".