Earth Land, Ishgar, Stella, Altair.
October 9, x791.
"What the fuck…?" Alfonzo muttered while walking through the streets of Altair after dealing with the Phantom Troupe's secondary hideout. "Why is the city so fucked up?"
Though he asked that question, Alfonzo already knew the answer. At this point, he was just trying his best to escape reality. This was the first time he had seen so much destruction while on a quest, after all.
"Hey, it's Fonzie!"
Hearing that familiar voice, Alfonzo turned his head slowly. So slow, in fact, that the owner of the voice, Cana, as well as Ultear and Sun, was worried. And when they saw the expression on his face, that worry turned into full-blown panic.
"Alfonzo, what's wrong?" Sun asked as she used the principles of [Drop Ripple Thrust] to close the distance near instantaneously and begin looking Alfonzo over for any injuries. "Are you hurt? Were the members of the Phantom Troupe you had to fight really that strong? Should we take you to the hospital?"
While Sun bombarded Alfonzo with concerned questions, Cana and Ultear also made their way over to Alfonzo, worry thick in their expressions as well.
"Fonzie, are you okay?" Cana asked as she grabbed Alfonzo's right hand tenderly.
"Please tell us nothing happened to you, Alfonzo." Ultear said while looking up at Alfonzo as she gripped his other hand.
"No, nothing happened." Alfonzo replied with dead-fish eyes. "I defeated their leader, someone who used the same two kinds of magic as Lici, and some guy who could make copies of things. He was planning to make copies of all the Kurta Clan eyes and escape with the leader, letting me think I had killed both of them. But I stopped that. Never even got hurt."
Hearing Alfonzo's explanation, Cana, Ultear, and Sun all breathed sighs of relief. But after the relief faded, their expressions turned into ones filled with confusion.
"If you didn't get hurt and you completed your part of the quest…" Ultear began to ask curiously.
"Why do you look like you just failed completely?" Cana asked, finishing Ultear's unfinished question.
"Yeah, you look like you're about to lose your soul, ya see?" Sun added.
In response, Alfonzo once again turned his head slowly, letting his empty gaze pass over his three wives. Then, he slowly opened his mouth and asked a question that he already knew the answer to.
"What happened to the city?" Alfonzo asked, a strange sense of pleading making it into his tone. "Did some kind of natural disaster sweep through it while I was out?"
Immediately upon hearing Alfonzo's questions, the three women froze. They then remembered the no collateral damage record Alfonzo had held since he started taking quests at the age of nine. Then, they looked around the surroundings with dread.
Seeing the torn up roads, destroyed buildings, and columns of smoke rising in the distance thanks to Bickslow's, Evergreen's, and Elfman's battles, their expressions paled quickly.
"Ha… Ha… Ha…" Cana laughed hollowly while slowly trying to release Alfonzo's hand.
"Actually, I have no idea what happened to the city." Ultear said while turning away from Alfonzo and, like Cana, trying to release Alfonzo's hand discreetly.
"Yeah, there's no way the city ended up like this because we weren't being careful while fighting the members of the Phantom Troupe, ya see?" Sun said while her eyes darted from side to side as she took a shaky step away from Alfonzo.
Immediately, Cana and Ultear snapped their heads in Sun's direction with incredulous expressions on their faces. A moment later, their expression changed to ones filled with panic… again. Though, the reason for this panic was quite different from the earlier reason.
Instead of worry, Cana's and Ultear's panic came from the fact that before they could release Alfonzo's hands, they felt their husband's much larger hands tighten around theirs. Though, they noticed that the force in Alfonzo's grip was nowhere near strong enough to hurt them even a little.
*Swoosh!*
In the next instant, Alfonzo swung his arms, swinging Cana and Ultear along with them. As he did so, he somehow managed to wrap his arms around sun. And somehow, he managed to keep Cana and Ultear from slamming into each other, as well. And now, they were both standing on the opposite side of his body from where they started.
"Sun, you're adorable." Alfonzo said with a gentle smile on his face. "Your ability to lie is so bad that it's one of the cutest things I've ever seen or heard."
As he spoke, Alfonzo released Cana's and Ultear's hands. Then, with his incredible speed, he let go of Sun before wrapping his arms around all three women. All the while, he took the time to make eye contact with the three before continuing.
"But, right now, I really wish you were better at it." Alfonzo said softly. "Because if it was even a little bit believable, I would have let myself be fooled. But now… Now, I can't pretend I don't know what happened to Altair. And because of that, I have to accept the fact that while I was in charge of a quest, this much collateral damage is my responsibility."
Feeling guilty, none of the three women could look Alfonzo in his eyes. But to convey their feelings of apology, they all snuggled into his embrace.
On a side note, Alfonzo, Cana, Ultear, and Sun were not the only people on the streets. Although Cana, Ultear, and Sun drew Hisoka, Phinks, and Bonolenov to an isolated part of the city before they started fighting, Cana's last attack destroyed a large number of buildings between where the fight started and where the quartet was standing right now.
Naturally, that drew a large number of civilians to see what the commotion was all about. And because there were so many people nearby, they all witnessed the melodrama between Alfonzo and his wives in the middle of the street.
"What's wrong with them?" A man asked in a confused tone. "Don't they see that this is not the place for a moment like this?"
"Maybe they all lost someone in the destruction?" A woman asked, her tone and expression turning sadder and sadder with every word as she imagined losing someone in this disaster.
"Hmph!" An old man snorted disdainfully while pointing at the guild emblem on Cana's abdomen. "Look at that guild mark. They're from Fairy Tail. I wouldn't be surprised if they were the ones who caused this mess."
"What?" Another woman exclaimed angrily. "You mean the same guild as that walking disaster Gildarts? Yeah, it was definitely them. We need to make them pay for all the damage!"
That last comment immediately pulled Alfonzo and the ladies out of the act they were putting on.
*Zap!*
An instant later, Alfonzo cloaked himself in violet electricity. Then, before anyone could blink, he, Cana, Ultear, and Sun vanished from where they stood. Then, when the townsfolk realized that they were gone, they all began shouting in outrage, wanting to hold the members of Fairy Tail responsible for the damages the city suffered.
And the worst thing about it was they were not wrong for having this desire. Even so, Alfonzo did not know how to react other than to escape before the blame could be placed on his shoulders, seeing as this was the first time in his career he would be held responsible for something like this.
*Zap!*
A few seconds later, Alfonzo, Cana, Ultear, and Sun appeared outside of the hotel they were staying at. Then, without letting the three women speak, Alfonzo quickly ushered them into the hotel and up towards their room.
"Oh, come on, Fonzie." Cana said as she pulled a card out of her tarot card holder. She then continued while injecting magic power into the card, which turned out to be her [Storage Card]. "It's not as bad as you make it out to be. I mean, I break stuff all the time when I'm on quests. And I've never had any real problems."
*Swish!*
As she spoke, a liquor bottle appeared in Cana's hand. She then uncapped the bottle and raised it to her lips. However, before the mouth of the bottle could touch her lips, she felt the weight in her hand disappear.
"*Gulp!* *Gulp!* *Gulp!* *Gulp!* *Gulp!*
Hearing the sound of continuous gulping, Cana immediately snapped her head in its direction. And what she saw was Alfonzo, head tilted back, guzzling the contents of the bottle at high speed.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Cana shrieked, horrified at how fast the good stuff in the bottle was vanishing into Alfonzo's stomach. "At least save some for me!"
*Swish!*
While Cana shouted, Alfonzo's free hand shot out, a blur of motion that not even Ultear could see clearly. And when he drew his hand back, Alfonzo held Cana's [Storage Card] between his fingers.
"Huh? What?" Cana exclaimed dumbfoundedly. "What are you?"
"No drinking for the next month." Alfonzo said as he pocketed Cana's [Storage Card]. He then took out his lPhone and started scrolling through his contacts. "I know you were the one who caused the most damage in the city. And don't ask me how I know… I just do."
Though she wanted to deny the accusation, Cana could not, in good conscience, bring herself to lie to her husband. So, she just lowered her head and accepted the punishment.
"As for you two…" Alfonzo said just as he found the contact he was looking for. "I'll think of your punishments later."
Like Cana, Ultear and Sun both lowered their heads and accepted their punishments.
Meanwhile, as Alfonzo led the three through the halls of the hotel, his call connected.
{"Master Alfonzo, good afternoon."} Grayfia said from the other side of the phone call. {"Do you have any orders for me?"}
"Yes." Alfonzo replied solemnly. "I need you to confiscate all of Cana's alcohol. Even the stuff she hides in the safe in her closet."
"Hey! How do you even know about that?" Cana asked indignantly. "I've gone to great lengths to make sure that stays hidden."
Alfonzo only smirked in Cana's direction in response.
"Oh, and let the other maids know that Cana is forbidden from drinking until the ninth of next month, as well." Alfonzo continued.
{"Understood."} Grayfia replied in her usual professional tone. {"I'll put Ikaruga on it, provided that Madam Elicia does not mind. Ikaruga is Madam Elicia's personal attendant, after all."
"I'll talk to Lici about it." Alfonzo said nonchalantly. "But I'm sure she'll agree with it when she hears about what Cana did on this quest."
{"Understood."} Grayfia replied. {"Is there anything else I can do for you, Master?"}
"Nah, that's it for now." Alfonzo said. "I'll call you if there's anything else."
{"Very well."} Grayfia said. {"Then, I'll get back to my duties. And the children miss you."}
"I miss them, too.," Alfonzo said with a smile. "Tell them that I should be back in a few days if everything goes well."
{"Understood."} Grayfia replied. {"I shall relay your message."}
"Cool." Alfonzo replied. "Well then, I'll talk to you later, Grayfia."
{"Yes, have a nice evening."} Grayfia said, returning the farewell.
With that, the call came to an end. And when Alfonzo looked at Cana, she looked as if the world were ending. Even so, she did not try to defend herself. Because despite how often she destroys property while on quests, she does know that she's wrong when she does so.
As the quartet continued walking towards the room they booked, Alfonzo did not put his lPhone away. Instead, he scrolled to another contact and placed another call.
{"Hey, Alfonzo."} Mavis' cheerful voice sounded. {"How is the quest going? Is the damage really that bad?}
"Oh, you already knew about the damage, huh?" Alfonzo asked while glancing at his three wives. "Let me guess, the Council got a report about it and Gramps called you, right?"
{"Precisely."} Mavis replied. {"So, how much did Gildarts and Cana destroy? What do you estimate the repair costs will be?"}
"*Sigh* I doubt Gildarts destroyed anything that we have to pay for." Alfonzo said. "I assigned him to a location outside of the city. And I didn't see any missing mountains on my way back. So, he should be fine."
{"Really?"} Mavis asked in a disbelieving tone. {"I guess I owe Irene some money. She bet that you would never let Gildarts act within the city, and I thought you trusted him more than that."}
"Yeah, fuck no." Alfonzo replied in a flat tone. "I have nothing against…. Okay, that's a lie. I have a lot of stuff against the Old Man. But that's beside the point. Anyway, I would trust Cana not to drink up all my good booze before I trusted Gildarts to not destroy something in a city."
"Really?" Cana asked in surprise. "I'm not sure that even I would take that bet."
"The alcoholic is amazingly self-aware." Ultear snarked.
"Shut up, Tear." Cana grumbled.
"I'd bet on you, Cana." Sun said, her smile shining as bright as her namesake. A moment later, her smile dimmed. "Because your dad is just as likely to destroy stuff as mine is to embarrass me in public."
IN response, Cana and Ultear could not help patting Sun on the shoulder consolingly. Even Alfonzo, while continuing his call, reached back and combed his fingers though Sun's hair with a tender smile on his face.
"Anyway, technically, the quest isn't complete yet." Alfonzo replied. "I still have to meet with the rest of the team. They should all have proof of subjugation with them. Then, I have to take all of that to the client and get our money."
{"I see."} Mavis replied in an understanding tone. {"Then, it would seem that your call was a bit premature, was it not?"}
"Actually, I called to let you know that you should get ready to deduct points from Tear, Sun, Bickslow, Evergreen, and Elfman for all the damage they caused. I'll assess the damage when I go out to talk to the client. But I'm pretty sure that they'll all be close to zero when this is all over."
{"I see."} Mavis said. {"I noticed you didn't mention Cana, though. Did she finally get better?"}
"Oh, of course not." Alfonzo replied with a chuckle. "She probably did the most damage this time. But we both know she has no points to deduct…"
{"Ah, right."} Mavis replied. {"Well, I'll be ready for your damage assessment report. Is there anything else?"}
By the time Mavis asked that, Alfonzo, Cana, Ultear, and Sun had reached the door to their room.
"Yeah… Looks like Lici completed the other objective, too." Alfonzo replied with a smile as he reached out for the doorknob. He then gripped the doorknob and pushed the door open as he continued. Anyway, I'm gonna---"
Alfonzo's words stopped abruptly when he pushed the door open and saw the sight in the hotel room.
*Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!* *Bang!*
Because the sight of Elicia using her magic to hang a middle-aged man from the room's ceiling while viciously beating him was a bit much for Alfonzo to process at the moment, Alfonzo's sentence was cut off abruptly..