Earth Land, Ishgar, Kingdom of Fiore, Magnolia.
September 20, x791.
"My reserves are finally full again." Alfonzo said from outside of Porlyusica's tree house.
Meanwhile, Porlyusica, who had just opened the door, only stared at Alfonzo with her usual grumpy expression on her face.
"This is why I hate humans." Porlyusica grumbled as she looked Alfonzo up and down. "You always look to throw yourselves into danger. Why can't you just stay at home and stay out of trouble?"
"If I did that, would I really be a Fairy Tail wizard?" Alfonzo asked with a happy smile on his face.
Instead of answering, Porlyusica only continued to glare at Alfonzo. Then, without a word, she reached her right arm to the side of the door and grabbed her trusty broom.
"Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!" Alfonzo exclaimed hurriedly while taking half a step back. "What's that for? I haven't done anything wrong!"
Although she realized that Alfonzo was right, that did not stop Porlyusica from raising her broom above her head and swinging it down with the force of a lightning bolt.
*Boom!*
Luckily, because Porlyusica's movements were deliberate, Alfonzo had more than enough time to sidestep her broom. Yet, to his surprise, When the bristles of the broom struck the ground, they blasted a small crater into the doorstep.
"The fuck?" Alfonzo muttered dumbfoundedly. "Were you trying to kill me, Porlyusica?"
Once again, Porlyusica did not deem it necessary to respond. Instead, she only drew back her broom and set it next to the door. Then, she turned around and started walking into the house, leaving Alfonzo to watch her with a twitching eyebrow.
"What are you just standing there for?" Porlyusica asked in an annoyed tone. "Hurry up and come inside so I can do the checkup. I don't have all day."
"*Sigh* I must be just as insane as the rest of the guild." Alfonzo grumbled to himself as he followed Porlyusica inside after a few seconds. "I mean, what kinda crazy mother fucker walks into the house of a person who just tried to split open their skull with a mother fucking broom?"
Porlyusica's checkup did not take long. And just as expected, once Porlyusica ascertained that Alfonzo's magic power reserves were indeed full again, she quickly cleared him for duty. However, when Porlyusica saw just how dense Alfonzo's magic power was, she could not help but raise an eyebrow in surprise.
After that, Alfonzo headed home to train with Amar'e for a while before spending some time playing with Calvin. Then, he and Bianca spent some time together cooking lunch. After lunch, Alfonzo put the kids down for their naps before heading to the guild hall.
With some extra pep in his step, it only took Alfonzo about ten minutes to arrive at the guild hall. And as soon as the sliding doors opened, Alfonzo stepped through them with his arms spread wide, looking like he just returned from a great ordeal.
"Alfonzo Marcus is back and ready for action~~~~~~~~~~~!" Alfonzo shouted at the top of his lungs.
Alfonzo's shout naturally drew everyone's attention. A moment later, the entire main hall burst into loud cheering and applause.
"We need to celebrate!" Macao shouted while raising his cup high.
"Definitely!" Wakaba added after blowing out a cloud of smoke.
The rest of the guild agreed with the two senior members suggestion. Then, in unison, they all turned towards Alfonzo. The look in their eyes making it clear what they were expecting.
"Go to hell." Alfonzo said with a chuckle while flipping off the entire guild. "I'm the one who just recovered. And you mother fuckers want me to cook for all of you? Not gonna happen."
*Tch!*
In response, most of the guild clicked their tongues simultaneously. They then turned away and went back to what they were doing, having collectively decided that Alfonzo's importance had dropped drastically after refusing to cook for them.
"Oh, that's how you all wanna play, huh?" Alfonzo asked with a twitching eyebrow. "Well, I guess I'll get in a quick warmup before I really try to knock the rust off."
Alfonzo then vanished from where he stood with [Shave], reappearing next to the table where Macao and Wakaba were drinking a moment later.
*Bang!* *Bang!*
"Ah! Damn you, Alfonzo!" Macao shouted as a punch from Alfonzo sent him flying.
"You'll pay for that, you brat!" Wakaba also shouted while flying in the opposite direction of Macao.
Macao and Wakaba slammed into Gray and Elfman respectively. Naturally, the two hot headed wizards would not let that slide. So, they both sent Macao and Wakaba flying as well. And that naturally led to a classic Fairy Tail brawl that pulled in just about everyone in the guild hall.
"*Sigh* It feels like it's been a while since a brawl got this wild." Ur said while watching the younger members of the guild from the bar.
"Well, it's been a while since the last time Alfonzo got involved in one." Ren pointed out.
"Yeah, the way he started that one reminded me of Bianca from back in the day." Gildarts said while smiling nostalgically. "She didn't like being disregarded either."
"I can believe that." Ur said with a chuckle. "But something tells me that her reasons were never as good as his were for starting one."
"Hmm... You're probably right." Gildarts said while stroking his stubble. "I mean, I can remember her starting one because no one noticed that she came back from a quest."
"Really?" Ren asked curiously.
"Yeah." Gildarts replied. "And the reason no one noticed her was because the Old Man was assigning tasks for the Harvest Festival."
"Ha! That sounds just like her." Ur said with a smile. "I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to beat up the old man, too."
"Oh, she definitely did." Gildarts said with a grin. "And she succeeded."
"Are you serious?" Ren asked with her eyes wide open.
"Yeah... *Sigh* I still don't know what the old man was thinking." Gildarts said while shaking his head. "He actually thought it was a good idea to try and spank her as a form of discipline."
Hearing that, Ur could not help wincing and sucking in a breath of cold air.
"There's no way that ended well." Ur said in a tone filled with schadenfreude.
"Yeah... It still amazes me that the guild hall was still standing by the time we managed to stop her." Gildarts said while wincing at just the memory of that day. "She beat up me, Orlando, the old man, Goldmine, Bob, and Rob that day."
"How did you manage to stop her?" Ren asked her curiosity on full display.
"Someone brought Porlyusica." Gildarts replied, wincing even harder. "Just one hit with the broom, and Bianca stopped dead in her tracks. She even apologized to me, Orlando, Goldmine, Bob, and Rob. Now that I think about it, I think that's the only time I ever heard her apologize for beating someone up."
"Really? Mom actually apologized?"
Although the question was unexpected, everyone sitting at the bar knew exactly who it was. And just as they expected, when they turned towards the voice, Alfonzo was sitting next to Ren with a mug of mead in hand.
"What are you doing here, Kid?" Gildarts asked in a confused tone. "Weren't you in the middle of all that?"
As he asked his second question, Gildarts gestured behind him with his arm at the brawl that was still raging on.
"Oh, I already hit everyone at least once." Alfonzo replied with a shrug. "A few more times for the more annoying guys like Macao, Wakaba, Natsu, Gray, Elfman, and Gajeel. Oh, and I left Gozaburo unconscious in a corner. You'll probably wanna see if he's okay later, Ren."
"*Sigh* Let me guess, he tried to sneak attack you to show off to Sun, didn't he?" Ren asked in an exasperated tone. "Even though he's gotten a lot better since that time you bitch slapped him, he still does dumb stuff like that from time to time."
"It's true that no one knows a man better than his wife." Alfonzo said with a nod.
"How does that work with you, then?" Ur asked with a smirk. "Mr., I have nine wives and four lovers?"
"Nine wives and eight lovers, actually." Alfonzo replied nonchalantly. "But let's be real. Lici has been with me for as long as I can remember. At this point, she knows me better than I know myself."
"You got four more?" Gildarts asked in an envious tone. "Lucky brat."
*Smack!*
"Ow!" Gildarts said while cradling the spot where Ur just slapped him.
"Am I not enough for you?" Ur growled.
"Honey! You know that's not what I meant!"
Unfortunately, Ur was in no mood to listen to Gildarts' excuses. As a result, the two of them joined the brawl, with Gildarts running away while Ur rained [Ice Fists] from above.
Because of Ur's and Gildarts' participation in the brawl, though neither targeted any of the other participants, the brawl did not last much longer. And the reason was simple, Gildarts felt no shame about using the others as meat shields. Though, he did steer clear of Cana and Alfonzo's other wives. Mostly because he did not want Cana to get hurt. On top of that, he did not want to add Alfonzo to the list of people chasing him around if one of Ur's [Ice Fists] ended up hitting the younger man's women.
"Looks like things sure got lively down here." Mavis said as she stepped out of the elevator with Irene. "I'm so glad that things never change in the guild, no matter how much time passes."
"Oh, Master Mavis." Alfonzo said after looking back at the sound of Mavis' voice. "I was gonna come see you after I finished my drink."
"I figured." Mavis replied with a smile and a nod. "You had a checkup with Porlyusica this morning, after all."
"And let me guess, you intended to pick a new quest right after you talked to Mavis, right?" Irene asked with a knowing smile.
"Well... Not exactly." Alfonzo said with a shrug. "I actually already chose a quest."
"Which one?" Mavis asked as she took a seat at the bar next to Alfonzo.
"The one in Stella." Alfonzo replied. "You know, the one to subjugate the Phantom Troupe and avenge the Curta Clan."
"That one, huh?" Mavis asked rhetorically as she lowered her head and cupped her chin. "If I'm not mistaken, the Phantom Troupe consists of thirteen members. Their leader, Chrollo Lucifer, also known as the Head. The other twelve members are called the legs. All of which are S-Class in strength. This isn't a quest that any S-Class wizard would be able to take alone in most cases."
"Alfonzo isn't normal, though." Irene pointed out. "If he really wanted to, I'm sure he could take on the whole group by himself."
"Yeah, I'm not doing that." Alfonzo replied while waving dismissively. "The job is to get rid of all of them. And although I'm sure I could fight and win against all of them, there's no guarantee that I'll be able to keep them all from running away."
"Stop making excuses." Irene said while rolling her eyes. "With your Magic Power Detection] range, they would never be able to get away from you unless you let them."
Alfonzo only shrugged in response before taking another sip of his drink.
"So, who do you plan to take with you?" Mavis' asked curiously.
"So far, the only one I've decided on is Lici." Alfonzo replied as he put his mug down. "Haven't decided on anyone else yet."
"Take this slacker with you." Ur said while dragging Gildarts back to the bar. "He's been at home way too much lately."
"I'm just trying not to make the same mistakes I did with Cana's mother." Gildarts said in an attempt to defend himself.
"Sure." Alfonzo replied. "I don't think I've ever taken a quest with the Old Man before."
"Actually, now that you mention it." Gildarts said in a contemplative tone.
"I'll decide the rest after I knock some of this rust off." Alfonzo said. "I mean, I haven't used any magic since we ran into Acnologia. So, a little spar would be nice."
"I wonder who the lucky victim will be." Ren said with a smirk. "If it's Gozaburo, just don't hurt him too bad. He is still my husband, after all."
"Nah, you don't have to worry about that." Alfonzo replied with a shake of his head. "He's too weak."
"Too weak for what?" Sun asked as she, followed by Erza and Saeko, stepped up to the bar.
"Oh, I was wondering who to spar with to get back into fighting shape." Alfonzo said casually.
Immediately, Erza's, Sun's, and Saeko's eyes lit up like torch lights.
"Well, I know what's on their minds." Alfonzo said while smiling wryly without even turning back to look at the three women's expressions. "Fine, I'll spar with all three of you after I finish my drink. Otherwise, it would just be bullying."
Alfonzo smirked as he took another sip of his drink. Feeling the change in Erza's, Sun's, and Saeko's auras. He had intentionally provoked them, after all. Because if they felt challenged, that meant they would do their best to prove him wrong.