There was only a month and a half left of the semester. Once it ended, Casey wouldn't see Vera again, like Kane said. He wouldn't have to stress himself out over her anymore. Out of sight, out of mind.
Casey was good at forgetting things once they weren't in his face anymore. He had to be after Candy left him. He should be able to forget Vera perfectly fine.
All he had to do was get through their smoothie meeting first. Then he would never have to worry about this again.
He wasn't like everyone else. He could never go to that smoothie place on an actual date. That wasn't how things worked. He was nothing. He was no one. He couldn't live a normal life and it was stupid to even try.
"You're right," Casey said with a sigh.
Kane's expression was smug. "I'm always right. Just get this over with and focus on getting through the rest of the semester. You need to get cracking on those internship applications as soon as the new semester starts anyway so you'll have something set up in time."
"Yeah, I know."
Casey would get this stupid smoothie issue out of the way and then focus on what really mattered. His future.
He might not know what he wanted out of life but he did know he needed to be able to take care of himself once the money ran out. That meant he needed to graduate and he couldn't do that if his head wasn't in the right place.
No daydreaming. No distractions. Nothing that could mess up the one thing in his life that he absolutely had to do right. He didn't have the best track record.
Casey was determined to get it over with as quickly and painlessly as possible but his resolve was tested when the day came and Vera smiled warmly at him like she always did. His traitorous heart thudded against his ribs.
"Hi, Casey!" she chirped.
"H-hi."
"How's your day going so far?"
"Okay, I g-guess. You?"
"Drowning in homework but that's nothing new. Barely through midterms and things haven't slowed down at all," Vera said dramatically, pulling a face.
She had that right. Professors had no mercy. Their group project had been going on during midterms as well. They really didn't think about timing and the fact that students needed to sleep.
Casey was lucky that he didn't have to have a job to get by but a lot of the students did. How were they managing to survive midterms with homework, tests, projects, and work? He could never pull something like that off.
"Tee—me!—too."
"What classes are you taking this semester? I don't think you ever said," Vera remarked.
He was spared from answering for a moment because they had moved up in the line and it was their turn to order. He had never bought a smoothie before in his life so he had no idea what to get and went with the first thing on the menu. He would have copied what she ordered if that wouldn't have made it more obvious that he had no idea what he was doing.
Casey wasn't able to answer her question until they both had their smoothies and went over to the part of the cafeteria where people on dates usually sat. He could see couples chatting with each other everywhere he looked and felt overwhelmed.
He forced himself to focus on the small talk. This was fine. He was fine. She wasn't asking anything he was incapable of answering, provided his stupid mouth would let the words get out like a normal human being.
"I love smoothies," Vera sighed happily. "Thanks for this, Casey. I needed the pick-me-up today."
"You're welcome."
Casey hadn't expected her to thank him, considering he was only doing this to thank her in the first place. It was an endless circle of thank yous and it was really throwing him off.
"Y-you don't have to th-thank me," he added. "Since I'm d-doing this to thank you."
Vera laughed. "I guess so. Force of habit. If somebody gives me something, I thank them. Helping you out really wasn't a big deal anyway. I don't mind presenting and you seemed like you were going to pass out just practicing."
Shame flooded through Casey. He really was pathetic.
She noticed the look on his face and was quick to reassure him. "Not that it's a bad thing! Everybody has stuff they aren't good with. I'm terrified of bees, even though I know they're important for the environment. I got stung as a kid and it really hurt so I've actively avoided them ever since."
"I don't think that's stupid at all!" he insisted.
A moment later, Casey realized he hadn't stuttered for that whole sentence. That hardly ever happened. Perhaps it was because he was so vehement for once.
Vera smiled at him again and his insides turned to jelly. "And neither is getting nervous over speaking in public. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. I'll never become a beekeeper and you'll never be a public speaker. That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with us. Other people can do that instead."
He had never thought of it that way. The point she was trying to make was slightly skewed though. She could stay away from bees a lot easier than he could avoid speaking.
Unfortunately, speaking was a necessary occurrence. Some days Casey managed to avoid doing it at school but most of the time he had to speak up at some point. Even if it was only to apologize for bumping into someone or order his lunch on campus.
He was terrible at something that came naturally for everyone else. How was he not supposed to feel bad about that?
Casey already knew he wasn't the only one who struggled with giving presentations though. Public speaking was a bit different from regular speaking. What wasn't normal was struggling as much as he did with the latter.
"I suppose," he said, not wanting to argue with her.
Vera took another sip of her smoothie before replying. "It's really not as big a deal as you think it is. If people give you a hard time for it, that's their problem."