Looking at the two fist-sized, metallic Red Pills in front of him, the two wriggling, fleshy Elixirs that seemed alive, and the two rotting, black Elixirs with an eye-watering stench, Li Huowang nodded with satisfaction. He had dumped in everything he could think of. With so much crap thrown in, this concoction could absolutely kill a man, leaving not a shred of life behind.
An incense stick was lit to one side, representing the time left in the year. According to his completely fabricated Cultivation Technique, the Elixirs had to be refined at the stroke of the new year to absorb the Innate Spiritual Energy descending from the Heavenly Dao.
Li Huowang sat cross-legged, first grabbing a fist-sized Red Pill and bracing himself. Death was right around the corner, but surprisingly, he felt perfectly calm. He didn't have any backup plan whatsoever.
Li Huowang understood he had to be the one to eat these Elixirs. If he didn't take them, Master Danyang definitely wouldn't.
Don't be fooled by the fake warmth during the New Year's Eve dinner; all that talk about ascending to immortality together was just a ruse to make him the guinea pig.
But what Master Danyang could never have calculated, no matter how clever he was, was that Li Huowang didn't give a damn about his own life. Li Huowang had long since seen through life and death. He didn't belong here in the first place. The only reason he was still alive was to watch sickening scum like Master Danyang walk right into the grave he had dug for him.
Master Danyang sat right across from him, also picking up a Red Pill. Under both their gazes, the incense's flame shrank lower and lower.
Just as the incense was about to burn out, Li Huowang sucked in a deep breath, stuffed the Red Pill into his mouth, and swallowed it whole.
At that moment, Master Danyang's motion to eat the Elixir paused. He stared, unblinking and hyper-focused on Li Huowang.
Li Huowang, his expression now bordering on manic, acted as if he hadn't noticed. He gulped down the other two Elixirs in one go, then closed his eyes, formed hand seals, and placed his hands on his knees.
Sweat rolled down his temples. Sitting there in meditation, Li Huowang's body began to tremble, but a wild, uncontrollable joy slowly spread across his face.
"So much Innate Spiritual Energy! This… what is this… I get it now, I get it!! I'm about to become an Immortal~!"
Hearing this, a flash of anxiety appeared in Master Danyang's eyes, but he still didn't swallow the Elixirs. Not until he saw wisps of white smoke rising from Li Huowang's crown did he finally wolf down all three Elixirs.
As Master Danyang sat cross-legged, closed his eyes, and started to perform his Grand Circulation, Li Huowang slowly opened his own eyes. He looked at his Master, his grin even wider than before.
Once he saw Master Danyang's head start to smoke just like his own, with some black substance crawling up his veins, Li Huowang uncrossed his legs. Clutching his excruciatingly painful stomach, he began to laugh maniacally.
"Hahaha, you scabby-headed bastard! You scabby-headed bastard! You won't become an Immortal! You can only become a ghost! We can be buddies on the Naihe Bridge, hahaha!!"
Master Danyang seemed to hear him but didn't react. With his eyes locked shut and his teeth clenched, he sat in place, madly running his fabricated Grand Circulation Cultivation Technique.
"Still cultivating? I made all that crap up! I stole every bit of it from cultivation novels! Hahaha—ouch, my stomach hurts so bad, hahaha."
Li Huowang crawled on the ground, inching himself over to Master Danyang. He grinned madly at his Master's ash-white face and, with a trembling right hand, slapped him. "Hey! Are you deaf? I'm talking to you, old fart."
He followed up with a backhanded slap across the face, but still, Master Danyang didn't move an inch.
Li Huowang, his hands shaking, popped another Elixir into his mouth. Suddenly, his veins bulged, and his whole body surged with power.
"I said, quit cultivating! Didn't you hear me?" Li Huowang hammered a fist straight into Master Danyang's face, caving in his protruding jaw and nose.
Blood pouring from his mouth, Master Danyang's eyes shot open, glaring fiercely at Li Huowang. With a sweep of his Daoist Robe, he hurled Li Huowang away.
"Get lost! You Heart Demons won't stop me from becoming an Immortal! I'm about to ascend right now! The Founder is coming to welcome me himself!"
Thrown to the ground, Li Huowang made no move to get up. He just lay there watching him, muttering to himself, "He's lost it. His obsession with becoming an immortal has driven him completely insane. Damn, my gut really hurts."
One sat, the other lay on the ground. Time crawled by. Meanwhile, the pain in Li Huowang's abdomen grew sharper and sharper. Instinctively, his body curled up like a shrimp.
"Shit, why does this hurt so bad? How long is this agony going to last? I should've brought a knife and slit my own throat," Li Huowang moaned, writhing on the ground in pain.
The agony blurred his mind. In the haze, he saw Yang Na's face again. Yang Na, have you come to fetch me?
Yang Na's face rapidly melted and reassembled itself into that of his attending physician. "Bed 14, consciousness is clouded—preliminary diagnosis: food poisoning! Hurry! Bring the electric suction machine and begin gastric lavage!"
Li Huowang's eyes drifted shut as a faint whisper slipped from his lips.
"Lavage my ass… Don't you forget, you're in a mental hospital… Where would you get a lavage machine…? Can't you hallucinations at least… try to be logical…?"
With that final sentence, Li Huowang's consciousness of the world around him faded out. He felt wonderful now, because his stomach finally didn't hurt anymore. He had the sensation of his body falling endlessly downward, never hitting the bottom.
"Huowang! Hold on! You promised me!" An anxious, ephemeral woman's voice exploded in his ear.
An unknown amount of time passed. Suddenly, Li Huowang's eyes snapped open. Propping himself up with both hands, he began to retch violently.
A twisted lump of flesh soaked in black water, mixed with some hair, dumpling shreds, and bits of viscera, was hurled out from his stomach. The bloody flesh, lying in the black water, twitched a few times, then went still.
This all happened so suddenly that Li Huowang was stunned. I'm alive? How is that possible? If I'm still alive, then Master Danyang must be—!
The thought sent a cold sweat pouring down his back. Instinctively, he whipped his head around. His jaw dropped wide open. What the hell… Did he become a god… or what?
He saw that his cheap Master's entire body had completely mutated. His ugly head had split open, and three bloody mouths pushed out from within. Each of those mouths contained three or four more smaller, vile mouths, their disgusting yellow teeth writhing and gnashing toward the ceiling.
It wasn't just his head. His body had undergone a major transformation as well. Feathers, caked in what looked like asphalt, jutted out like sharp spikes, tearing through his very flesh.
What the fuck is this? Three Flowers at the Summit? Feathered Ascension to Immortality?
Just as the thought flashed through Li Huowang's mind, the three mouths stretched to their widest. From within them, three voices—Master Danyang's as a youth, an adult, and an old man—roared out in unison. "So this is it! This Daoist Master understands now, I finally understand! Hahahaha!!"
BANG!
With a deafening blast, Master Danyang's entire grotesque body exploded, painting the whole Alchemy Room in a spray of blood and flesh.