"Bungeoppang machines aren't that expensive."
Lying down, staring at her phone, Juha blinked.
The machine itself was under a million won.
The carts for street stalls were pricier.
"Molds aren't expensive either."
Banana bread or croffles could probably be made with just a mold.
Gas might be an issue, though.
"Hah."
Juha tossed her phone aside, letting her arms dangle.
Yesterday, she was itching to *do* something.
Today, no motivation at all.
Back to square one.
"Ugh..."
Why's everything so annoying?
Her body feels heavy too.
The bed's fault?
*What bed does Joonhyung use?*
Must be the bed.
Or the house? Spacious, comfy maybe.
*Hoo...* Her phone buzzed. Juha glanced at the screen.
[Hyunsoo: Yo]
[Hyunsoo: Been a while, drinks? Group hangout]
Drinks?
Kinda tempting.
Not the drinks, but the vibe of hanging out.
[Hyunsoo: They miss you]
[Hyunsoo: Come, I'll send the address lol]
*Come, lol*—fuck that guy.
Makes her not wanna go.
Juha turned, staring at the ceiling.
Drinking was fun back when they'd get wasted on the playground floor. Now it's all rooms and bars.
*Where's my bankbook and seal?*
Gotta find those.
She got up slowly, rummaging through drawers.
At home? Can't remember. Think I stuffed them in a drawer after getting a certificate.
Smacking her lips, Juha sighed.
Too lazy to go.
She popped her vape in her mouth, sitting on the mattress.
Why's the vape so tasteless lately? Need a new one?
---
"Fuck."
Her thighs are dying.
Climbing the hill, Juha stopped, breathing hard.
Forgot how annoying this hill is.
Had to climb a ton of stairs to get home.
"Ugh..."
Legs are working overtime.
She paused to catch her breath, moving slowly.
Didn't bother her before, but it's brutal now.
"Hoo."
Looking back, the road stretched further away.
A winding, steep climb up the hill.
Still a long way to go.
Feels like coming back to her old neighborhood...
Familiar but gloomy.
The scenery's familiar, but the lack of people makes it feel heavy.
Slum hill.
A vague house, high up on the steep slope.
Not quite a house, not quite a villa—some awkward in-between.
Juha stopped at the door, punching in the code.
*Beep beep beep.*
The hallway's fucking dark.
Darker than before.
Back in high school, creepy guys would stare from above.
Almost pissed herself then. They move out?
*Click.*
Juha yanked the door open, stepping inside.
Damp air...
That musty smell made her grimace.
Leaking again?
*Tick.*
She flipped on the living room light, pocketing her hands, and sat at the dining table.
Always sits there first, habit.
"No one's here."
Where's Mom?
Leaning back, staring blankly at the living room, Juha stood again.
Closed bedroom door. She pulled the handle, muttering.
"Fuck."
Her old room was basically a storage unit now.
Piled with random boxes from who-knows-where.
Told them not to use it as storage, ugh.
Irritated, she shoved boxes aside and crouched.
*Drawers...*
Think I left it here.
Rummaging through drawers, she let out an "Ah."
Found it.
Bankbook, seal, certificate.
She stuffed the dusty bankbook in her pocket, pulling open another drawer.
*What's this?*
Why's there a tint?
Haven't checked these in forever—tons of old stuff.
Doll keychain, bracelet, friendship ring, photo booth strips.
Stuff she stuffed away and never touched.
"Huh, Yoo In-ha."
High school photos.
She grabbed ones with Yoo In-ha and Juri, then dug more.
Doll keychain... who gave this?
She paused, blinking at it.
Can't remember. She tossed it aside and stood.
"Ugh, damp."
Anything to eat?
Rubbing her stomach, she headed to the fridge.
*Creak.* The dim fridge light weakly lit the contents.
Nothing.
"Hah."
Back to the dining chair, she stretched her legs.
...
Dark living room under the dim light.
Gloomy, but not as bad as before.
*Glance.*
Bathroom.
Old memories hit.
Not rust or tap water, but some murky rice-wash-like water from the pipes.
No filter helped.
No matter how much she washed, a faint musty smell lingered.
Never felt clean.
[Mom, I'm home]
[Where you at?]
She sent a KakaoTalk, stretching.
*Tap tap.* She slipped on her shoes, hands in pockets, and stepped out.
"Nothing's changed."
Same neighborhood vibe after so long.
Whether sunny or not, always a dull, ashy feel.
Depressing gray sky.
The sketchy corner stores all closed, making it worse.
The small shopping strip looked more cracked.
*Tap.*
She kicked a pebble.
*Clack, clack.*
Wandering aimlessly, she leaned on a fence by the slope.
Barely any people.
Just an old man or woman passing by.
Used to be kids around.
*"Yo, Juha."*
*"Whatcha doing?"*
She used to talk with neighborhood kids up to middle school.
High school, barely saw them.
Just passed each other, busy with their own paths.
Slept at friends' places so much, rarely came here anyway.
"Hoo."
Turning, she leaned on the fence, seeing the sprawling slope.
A cool breeze brushed her forehead.
Used to feel depressing, especially at night, climbing under dim streetlights.
Hated coming back...
But after being away, the memory's faded.
Slum hill.
Gray sky, even in daylight.
Hell to climb, even with a car.
Shabby, distinct roofs.
Juha leaned harder on the fence.
Memories of bringing friends in elementary school.
They were curious, so she brought them, clueless.
Panting up the hill, their faces darkened at the gate.
Middle school, she hesitated but brought stubborn friends.
Their faces got weird, awkwardly smiling inside.
Stopped coming home much after that.
Water smell. Closing her eyes, she remembered that murky water smell.
*Tap.*
Kicking her feet for a while, Juha pushed off the fence.
Nothing to do, no fun.
Charge the phone and go home.
"Hng."
Sleepy.
Back home, Juha yawned, plugging in her phone.
Dropping it, she hugged her knees, yawning again.
*So fucking sleepy.*
This place always makes her sleepy.
*Nod nod.*
*Buzz buzz.*
Leaning on the wall, nodding off, she snapped awake with a *hiss*.
*Ugh...*
[Mom: At the community center]
[Mom: You home?]
[Yeah]
[Was gonna see you]
Already dark out.
Rubbing her eyes, Juha stretched, creaking.
[Mom: Running late]
[Mom: Food?]
[Mom: Nothing to eat, huh]
Yeah, nothing at all.
*Mom, you spent all the money I gave you?* popped into her head.
Probably.
Blinking, she tapped a reply.
[I'll figure it out]
If she's late, just go.
Thought she dozed briefly, but it was a while.
Stretching, she stood, shoulders slumped.
Staring at the living room, she flicked off the light.
*Clunk.*
*Whoosh.*
Opening the door, cold night air hit her skin.
Ugh, thighs freezing.
Clutching her jacket pockets, she shuffled out.
*Beep.*
A motorcycle roared past.
Shitty driver. Grimacing, she turned.
...
...
The darkened neighborhood.
Far off, colorful apartment complexes glowed.
Bright signs, streetlights twinkling.
Whoa.
Pretty.
Used to hate looking at them.
From here, the other side sparkled so much.
Unlike the dim streetlights here, that side was dazzling.
Clean, uniform apartments and shops.
Climbing from below, she never wanted to look back.
The apartments got further with every step.
Walking down slowly, Juha stopped at the roadside.
People moved left and right.
*Glance glance.* They eyed her as they passed.
She looked up at the glowing apartment complex.
The sparkling gate with a big brand name.
Drawn in, she walked toward it.
"Whoa."
Looking up at the endless floors, she craned her neck to the rooftop.
How do you climb that?
Staring, she turned back.
Slum hill.
From the other side.
Haphazard, tightly packed buildings.
Flickering streetlights barely lit the ground.
Her heart beat slowly.
Familiar yet heavy.
The distant slum filled her view.
House lights, faint streetlights,
and her home, caught in one glance.
"Hah."
Sitting on a bench by the clean complex, Juha blinked at the slum.
Taking it all in, she stood.
Yo, Juha.
Childhood memories faintly lingered.
---
*Why am I here?*
Was heading to her own place.
But ended up at Joonhyung's apartment complex.
*Not here.*
Balcony light's off.
Not home? Doesn't matter. She swiped a spare keycard.
*Humm.*
Riding the elevator up.
Her hands were itching.
Fidgeting, she stared at the rising floor numbers.
*Ding.*
At the door.
Joonhyung's scent already tickled her nose.
Her heart thumped.
She tapped the stolen keycard on the lock.
*Beep.*
A silly grin slipped out.
Imagining his dumb, shocked face auto-played in her head.
*Swish swish.*
Stepping in, she waved, triggering the sensor light.
*Hiss... hah.*
Entering the living room, she exhaled slowly.
Joonhyung's scent. That distinct house smell from his clothes. Her brain buzzed; she blinked slowly.
"Hah."
Drowsiness hit.
Her body relaxed, seeking a place to lie down.
Kicking off her socks, Juha flopped onto the sofa.
*Whoosh.*
Wind from the balcony tapped the sliding door.
Apartment breeze...
"Hah..."
Warm.
Grabbing the blanket from last time, she pulled it over, resting her head on a pillow.
Warm...