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Hood Life and Love: I Am What I Am (In Progress)

shayjonez
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Synopsis
BOOK TWO Annette is still trying to reach her main goal of getting out of the hood. Now years after all the drama, it seems more possible than ever. She's made a name for herself, and people look up to her. Annette's eating good and so are all of her people. Leaving the streets when they call to you like a deranged friend, is harder than she could imagine. Despite moving long ago, it's the only place she feels safe, the only place that feels like home. The streets have a way of keeping people that some might never understand. After closing a major deal with a well-known artist with a large fan base, tragedy strikes, cutting her celebration short. Unbeknown to Anna and her friends, a new threat has already hit the streets. The damage that he causes is like nothing they have ever faced. Soon, people start missing and she knows exactly who is to blame. On top of all that, Christian is also missing... from prison. When Joey's wedding is shot up, she has no choice but to retaliate, putting her search for Christian and her record label on hold. Unfortunately, her new foe is way more organized than any street hustler she has ever known. New allies bring new temptations and, to survive, she will have to get her hands dirty yet again. Where is Christian? Has he betrayed her and could she ever love another?
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Chapter 1 - Chapter 1

"Anna?" 

"What!" I snapped, before lifting my eyes to meet soft brown ones. Terrance looked at me with just the slightest crease between his brows. He stretched his hand as if he was going to touch me. That would not end well for him. 

His hand never connected. He was concerned. They all were, because anyone who knew me, knew that I was like a carefully contained bomb. Fragile and deadly. I loved all my family and I know they meant well, but right now I wanted to hurt someone. The more they looked at me with pity, the more they started to look like punching bags. They knew I would gladly burn down this city to get to my biggest distraction. 

"You Good?" Terrance asked, his hand dropping to his side. 

Was that a trick question? Rhetorical maybe? Either way, there was no simple answer. I hadn't been okay in a long time. Nothing was okay. Christian had been missing now for six months. Six whole months that he had been out and not a word. I had pulled out every favor, and had my people looking everywhere I could think of. I had twenty-four-hour lookouts on his mom and brother. I had done everything I could think of short of calling the police. Which I would never do. 

"I'm fine," I said through clenched teeth. It was the best I could do. What they call that? Fake it till you make it.

You know the feeling you get when the roller coaster approaches that steep fall-off? When you're sitting in your seat and you can't see the next few tracks. Realistically, you know you're going to be okay. You know the rollercoaster is magnetized and will perform as it should. Yet your heart starts to beat faster and fear kicks in.

Some people close their eyes to cope. Some people scream and some people love the thrill. I was neither of those people. I hated that shit. I hated how my stomach dropped with that fall. All I thought about on those roller coasters was how If anything happens, there ain't a damn thing I can do about it. I'd be at the mercy of the angle that I fell. I hated being at anything's mercy, which is why I avoided rollercoasters.

My family thought I had control issues and that was partially true. But it was the loss of it that I hated so much. I hated not being in control or not knowing what the fuck would happen next. It had saved my life plenty of times and I didn't see that changing. Ever. 

Right now, that's how I feel. Like the wind was knocked out of me, my heart was racing, my blood pressure was rising, and every corner of this room was a steep drop. I wanted to rage and scream at everyone around me, I wanted to knock on doors until I knew what was going on. On the outside, I was the perfect shell of control, but on the inside, I felt like I was on a rollercoaster that I knew for sure would be my last ride. 

"No, you're not," Joey said, leaving his perch on the wall to come closer to me. 

I cringed as he got closer, I needed fifty feet and it felt like everyone was getting closer. "It's been six months Joey. If he wanted to be here, he would be."

That was where I was in my search. Wherever Christian was, he didn't want to be found. He didn't want me. He had been released from prison early. Six months ago. He had known two months before his release and he said nothing. I had gone to see him every Monday and Wednesday for the last four years. Imagine my surprise when I went to see him only to be told he wasn't fucking there. It didn't take long to find out the details. 

He was a free man. But not with me. I hadn't received so much as a fuck you. All these years of holding him down. All these years of building something for him to come home to. All for nothing. 

 I had gone on a little bit of a rampage. Pissed was too small a word to describe how I had handled not knowing where he was. I was livid. Taking my anger out on anything and everyone. My friends though had been there every step of the way. Especially Terrance. Since he and I lived together he had received most of my vicious behavior. 

We were in the front office of Terrance's cleaners, one of our hangout spots. It was time for our monthly meeting, and most business had been handled. 

We were all young and successful and finally ready to pass the torch of the streets to whoever wanted it. We were in our twenties and had enough money to do whatever we wanted to. We had businesses and employees. We had property and respect. What started as a huge mistake had taken us a long way. The last few years had been easy, with little drama and a shit ton of money. Ten minutes ago we had been talking about Joey's wedding and it had been all laughs. 

Now, the mood was somber and I knew there were no updates. I had accepted that I had been dumped like a bad habit. I had come to terms with the fact that for some reason Christian was keeping his distance and he didn't give a good God damn about me. It still didn't change the fact that the mere sound of his name made my blood boil. All I wanted to know was why. I mean who did that? Every nigga dream is coming home from prison to a home-cooked meal and some pussy. 

Half my closet was filled with clothes and shoes for him. He had a spot on my dresser with colognes I knew would smell so good on him. I was in the process of buying a house so he could come home to a place that was ours. He has an SS Monte Carlo sitting in my garage. Everything I had done, every move I had made had been for us. We had a fucking plan and for some reason, he had aborted the mission, without telling me.

"Man fuck that nigga," Leo said randomly in the quiet basement.

I blinked away the tears that threatened to fall and laughed a little. Soon we were all laughing and Terrance finally came closer and slung an arm around my shoulders. "I second that," he said.

It would take time. I still felt like someone had hit me in the stomach, but I knew being angry at them was not right. These men in this room had had my back when Christian didn't. They were largely responsible for me not spiraling out of control too much. They didn't deserve my anger. Christian though, if I ever saw him again was gonna feel me. 

I now own a couple of properties. I had women I protected who turned tricks with class. Charlie was in college playing football. Joey owned a funeral home that doubled as a fight club at night. He was getting married in two weeks. Dale and Sara were a duo rap team, he also owned a studio. They were good. Montel was a nurse at St. Louis University Hospital. Leo was still doing Leo, He didn't have a mind for business. He made money the best way he knew how. Terrance was running the cleaners and my sister still ran the Club House, although it was now called The Lab.

We were all on to bigger and better things. I was in my prime and life was good. If I could just make my heart stop hurting, I could enjoy it.