1155BC was the year I decided that I would never trust Moirai, known as the Fates, in my romantic infidelity. They claimed it was destiny to betroth a young demigod maiden in the Iron Age because she was destined to be my queen, and Hera would accept her as my second wife.
Firstly, Hera stole me from a Valkyrie. There is no way she would accept a mere mortal to even breathe the same air as me. Secondly, the Moirai had sadistic tendencies of giving incomplete prophesies about their destinies to entertain the Primordial's perpetual boredom in the Celestial Realm. And lastly, it is impossible for mortals, even half-breeds, to enter the Divine Realm with their physical bodies. They are too frail to dwell in the heavenly atmosphere. The time dilution alone would make it impossible for them to survive there. However, my godly balls made me debate that fact the moment I laid eyes on this demi-god.
This demi-god was an absolute beauty. She was tall with snow-white hair and sapphire-sad eyes. She was the daughter of Ullr, the Norse god of snow. Her name was Frigga, and she lived in a village by the coast of the now-municipality of Aalesund in Norway. She had an eerie radiance that brought joy to the people in her village. This radiance drew me to her. Frigga was not aware of her heritage, and I was genuinely captivated by a mortal, for the 300th time. I disguised myself as a fisherman and followed the Moirai's advice, and boy was I happy. I found myself staying two years in Frigga's village.
I don't know if it was a coincidence or the Fates knew this, but Frigga was the exact opposite of Hera. I enjoyed having such a person around me. Don't get me wrong, I grew to love and adore Hera, but she can be a tad bit psychotic and has severe jealous outbursts that would throw me off. I believe I've been a good husband, and I don't know why she tries to kill my mortal partners every time. They did nothing wrong!
One day, as I was out fishing with the men in preparation for my wedding with Frigga, I saw a crow hover above the boat. I could swear it was staring at me with great intensity, and I realised Odin was watching me. I knew he was not pleased with my actions, but Frigga was a catch! What did he want me to do, watch her from a distance like a creep? Sadly, I didn't realise it was an omen from him.
"Moirai hiding, Moirai hiding. Lotus is bloom, lotus is bloom," croaked the crow.
This startled the men, and I had to speak to the aquatic life in the waters to offer themselves as a tribute to me, so that we could head back to the village as soon as possible. I poured out as much of my godly aura as I could to influence the fish, but none entered the nets. No creature can disobey a god's aura; it's like a sweet aroma to them, but still nothing. This would only happen if another god's aura were interrupting mine—a strong godly aura.
Suddenly, a big, beautiful, lustrous peacock walked along the beach. Its blue feathers gleamed like light reflecting on the waters, and it cried tears of gold. In that moment, I know that I fu- I mean messed up.
I dropped all my gear and ran on the water at lightning speed. I no longer cared about hiding who I was at this point. That peacock was a terrifying omen that I didn't want. The peacock was a sign that Hera had descended to the Mortal Realm. My infidelity had finally caught up to me, and I needed to plead with Hera to spare Frigga and her family.
In the blink of an eye, I arrived at the village, and it was dead silent. There was no one in sight, no burning buildings, no animals running a mock and definitely no tree nymphs cheering. I found this incredibly strange and terrifying. Where had everyone gone?
I searched every building until I heard murmurs and groaning from the mess hall. The sounds got louder as I approached, and my sweat began to melt the snow around me. I took a deep breath and opened the doors. I found the villagers prostrating themselves and saying, "O hail queen among queens, o hail queen among queens."
And there she was, Hera, my wife, dressed as majestic as ever, in her flowing robes, crown, and lotus sceptre. She appeared in her Epitome form, but still revealing enough of her godly presence to have a hypnotic effect on the mortals, especially the married couples. They groaned and gritted their teeth as if on fire.
"Darling! I've finally found you!" She spoke in a godly dialect that brought more pain to the mortals.
I replied, "Dear, use their native tongue." My fear was overwhelming, but I couldn't let Hera think she's caught me red-handed.
"Sorry. Is that better? I've never spoken in this tongue before." The change alleviated the pain the mortals were experiencing.
"What have you been doing in this place, my love? I thought you were going to see Jörmungandr and be right back," she continued.
I forgot that I lied about visiting Jörmungandr. Jörmungandr was the World Serpent that once fought Thor and was slain. However, only the Council of Kings know this for the sake of balance in the Mortal Realm. Jörmungandr was the most powerful being we placed in the Mortal Realm to keep the threats that oppose us in check. I couldn't tell her that the Fates instigated this infidelity excursion.
"Well, my love, after talking with Jörmungandr, I saw this little coastal village and was fascinated by their way of life. It was refreshing to observe it firsthand."
"Oh really? Just that? Nothing else?"
"Yes," I lied.
"Well, that means this demigod was secretly trying to seduce you on the words given to her by Moirai." Hera stepped to the side and revealed Frigga kneeling, murmuring frantically. She was pale, like she was dead, but her eyes were glowing bright blue. Hera's eyes turned white, and her sceptre turned into a lance with a golden tip. She had entered rage mode and was within striking range.
"How dare you try and seduce my man, you whore!"
"Hera, wait! Don't kill her!" Interjected, and her lance stopped two inches from Frigga's throat. Frigga was unfazed and remained in her trance.
Hera smiled psychotically. "And why shouldn't I kill her, my love? "
That my love didn't sound good. "Uh, because, my love, she's a demigod and we might start unnecessary friction with her godly parent."
Hera stood there staring at me for a few seconds in silence. Her eyes turned blood red, and she wailed with gold tears streaming down her face.
"Why do you do this, Zeus? Why do you continue to poke other women when you have me? I tested you by threatening to kill this girl, and you failed! You were cheating on me, again!"
She let out a wail so loud it shook the building, and all the villagers collapsed, except Frigga, who continued murmuring on the floor.
"I'm so sorry, my love, I don't know what comes over me. Please forgive me!" I bowed, apologising, knowing full well I was gaslighting the situation.
Hera's tone calmed down, and she lifted Frigga's head with her lance.
"Do you know what she's doing, Zeus?" Hera sobbed.
"Nope."
"She is praying to the gods for forgiveness. Forgiveness for allowing you to deflower her. She was meant to be a living virgin vessel to the Primodials. And that god informed me about your little side quest. You have broken Celestial Law, Zeus. You do not defile vessels dedicated to the Older Ones"
"And by that god, you don't mean-"
"Sif. " She interrupted.
Crap, this just got seriously bad.