The coffee hit Zen square in the face, beading on his skin, staining the collar of his clothes. He flinched, startled, and then he laughed. Not the awkward chuckle of a man caught off guard, but rich, delighted joy like it was all just a joke. Delight bubbled from his throat as he wiped his cheek with a cloth and then reached for the dribble on her lips. His eyes were sparkling with mirth.
Mirth.
But Quinn did not laugh, she could not. The mug was still shaking in her hands, knuckles growing white from the pressure, jaw still hanging open in disbelief before she snapped it shut, stepping back before Zen could reach her. His touch was too gentle, too knowing. And she wasn't ready for what it could unearth from within her.
The world seemed to sway for a brief moment, boiling with the unbearable sensation of something wrong. And suddenly the gorgeous morning seemed to burn a little brighter, too golden, too warm, too hard on her senses. Like she was under the full brunt of the violent afternoon sun.
Were they crazy?
Their expressions were filled with expectancy, eyes on her. Rowan's lazy grin, Helios's dreamy eyes, and Zen's bounce of eagerness. They looked alive, hopeful, too fucking idiotic, untouched by the rot of truth waiting behind the cracking walls. Too close to an emotion she did not want to consider.
Marry her?
Her?
For what?
What was the fucking point of marrying an Alpha?
What was the point of marrying her?
What the fuck were they trying to do?
Was this all because she couldn't say 'yes' to Rowan?
She couldn't breathe, stood up too quickly, chest fluttering with anxiety. It felt like chains were tightening around her throat, body pressured by a newfound weight. And the world tilted; her spine grew stiff and sharp with a panic that she refused to show, her breath growing shallow. The mug was dropped, and the sandwich Helios had offered lay forgotten on its plate.
It all tasted like manipulation, like lies, like sacrifice.
"You're pushing it," she said. The words were quieter, but sharp, tasted final, hanging in the air like smoke. The warmth in the room seemed to die. Rowan's smile faltered. Helios's brow pressed tight together in confusion. Zen tilted his head, eyes narrowing.
"You don't mean that," Zen said, a bite of hope flecked in his throat, it threatened to break.
"What is it that you truly want?" she answered back, turning away to look outside.
The sky through the jagged, broken windows was beginning to brighten into an aching blue. A rusty red bleeding into the horizon. It was a world that waited to devour them out there, a world for survival, a world that mocked her happiness. And she did not need their fairytales, their pity.
"My cooperation? You already have it. You don't have to prove anything to me. You don't need to give me this." Her smile was awkward. "Whatever this is."
"Cooperation?" Helios echoed, voice sharp with disbelief. "Is this truly what you think this is?"
"I don't need your sacrifices," she said, her voice quivering too hot. Heat crawled up her throat like fire, hands clenched to her side. What had Rowan told them? What the fuck were they trying to do? Courting for marriage? Were they fucking crazy? ? "I don't need you to throw yourselves at me like martyrs."
"It's not a sacrifice," Helios said fiercely. "We're choosing you."
"You don't even know me," she answered, feeling her words sting. The gasps from them were audible in the room. Helios's face only darkened with her words. But she felt the fear bubble up from her and spill as poison through her lips.
"We know enough."
Her lips twisted into an almost sneer. "You're merely thankful, grateful for my help."
"And what's wrong with being thankful, what's wrong with giving back?" Helios's voice was cold, with a hint of something heavy. "We made these decisions because we want to." But his eyes were filled with his emotions, trembling through depths. "This is our way to make things right—"
"Right?" Her lips twisted, rage tangled with disbelief. "I can fuck you without all this, I don't need your fucking charity!"
Her snap pitched through the air, eliciting a wince spilling through Helios's eyes. It tasted like a slap. And the silence grew, had his shoulders falling into a sag. The disappointment burned in his eyes, and this time her guilt spiked in her throat.
"It's okay," she tried to push warmth into her tone, but it came out too brittle, too late. God, why the fuck was she so touchy? "I just don't need anything more from you. I don't need your pity."
Helios's voice shivered at her words, eyes flaring. "Pity?" His voice dipped into a snarl. "Is this what you think this is?"
"Be realistic," she said back, her voice brittle. "Don't give me what you can't take back."
"What can't I take back?"
"Your mates won't agree to this!" She threw her hands up. "You're being impulsive. You're not being serious. And I don't need that. I don't need you to do anything more—" Zen snapped forward then, hands touching her wrist, eyes meeting hers. The anger had left his eyes, and now a twisted understanding dripped from its depths, no laughter, only clarity.
"Quinn," Zen murmured. "You don't understand what an Omega courting for marriage means, do you?" his voice was soft but unwavering. "Is it in your memories? In the book or Euodia's head?"
She flinched at that, her breath hitched.
"I knew it," he exhaled softly. Then, quietly, "What is marriage in your world?"
His eyes were too sharp, too perceptive, twisting into her. She swallowed thickly, felt the coldness curl in her gut. "A legal union between two people." They were quiet for her, and so she continued. "It comes with benefits, taxes. Sometimes love. Sometimes," she sighed, "it can be arranged."
The silence settled like ash, and then Zen's voice rang in the air. "Can it be broken?" Zen asked.
"Yes," she said, eyes shifting. "Divorce. It happens."
Rowan made a sharp sound, part exhale, part snarl. And she turned to note a sudden surge of darkness in his eyes, a roar of rage as he crossed his arms. "Fools." But he knelt to pick up her breakfast, gently placing it in her hands. His fingers linger, warm and solid. "Eat. You need your strength."
She took it with shaking fingers, putting the bread to her mouth to chew. And she was oddly delighted by the purr that vibrated from his chest when she swallowed.
Helios's words were soft now, eyes warm, the rage disappearing. "Omegas don't court unless it matters." The anger was now gone from his voice, replaced by something heavier and steadier. "It's not a whim or a show, it's sacred. We only do it if we are sure, and we feel…Something more in our hearts. It's an old tradition, no longer practised by the Alphas because of how much it means, what it represents. But it begins by swearing to the Moon Goddess. It begins with a promise to the Goddess, to ourselves, and to you. It begins with our Omegas knowing that this is right and this means more."
Rowan nodded. "It cannot be a mere whim. It is sanctified. It is said that if an Omega courts without an honest heart, he will face the wrath of the heavens, divine judgment from the world. To accept the courting is to begin the process; we prove our worth, our dedication, our loyalty to our ones." He searched for the words. "But it does not mean you have to accept our feelings."
Helios's smile grew, a tremble in his limbs. "It is not a trap. It is entirely up to you. You do not have to accept our feelings. Not yet, not ever. And this intention to court is just the beginning of the cycle, of us proving to you that we can be good Omegas, good mates."
Zen nodded. "It is within your right to reject us. And on the topic of our mates…" He exchanged glances with the others. "It does not matter."
Quinn's surprise was audible, echoing from her lips in a gasp. "Really?"
"We all agreed that this is our choice," Zen nodded. "It does not matter what our pack leader thinks, what Solar, Icarus and Elysian think. We've already sworn our oath to the moon and the stars. There's no going back. They can go against us, but it will not affect our courting with you." His eyes flashed a strange silver. "It will not change anything between us. You'll be ours, our mate. And we want you. N-no, we need you." The words had her insides quivering, but she ignored it, choosing to stamp out the growing speed of her heart.
Rowan shrugged. "They'll just have to deal with it."
Quinn stared at them. "You would go against Klaus? Against pack?"
"We would go against Klaus," Zen nodded. "And against pack."
"I don't…" she stumbled at that. "I don't understand why you would do this." No, she did. She knew why they were doing this. But she couldn't let it get to her head. She couldn't let words get into her head. The four little letters that formed a word. It meant so much to her that it had tears growing in her eyes. But it couldn't be true, she couldn't let it get to her now when they were still so deeply in danger.
Zen's eyes were steady on her. "You don't have to. It is just our sincerity towards our Alpha." Zen reached into his pocket and drew out a small object. His hands trembled when he placed them into her palm. "We made it. Helios picked it. Rowan carved it. And I sanded it smooth."
It was a stone, cold and smooth, etched with the careful carving of a cosmos on emerald green and lavender pools. Their scent clung to it, gentle musky sweetness. A mixture of honey, caramel and vanilla milk.
"This is our intent," Zen said, voice shaking. "Our truth. Our desire. We want to court you. Not for sex. Not out of pity. But because we want you." He seemed to consider his words. "Keep it if we even have the tiniest chance, throw it out if we don't. It is that simple. There is no right or wrong."
The stone felt cool in her pocket, and yet it burned on her fingertips. She held it then, and for a second, she felt as if the world had frozen. She could throw it out. It would be the best thing she could do. But she placed it in her pocket and stood. They watched her, surprised, joy blossoming on their cheeks.
She couldn't break their hearts.
No, she couldn't break her own heart.
"We can't stay here," she told them. "Let's get to the roof."
She felt as if she could feel the burn of their happiness when she turned her back on them to go. But a smile was hooked on the corners of her lips, growing to burn on her cheeks.
Read ahead on
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/tinyeyecat
Inkitt Subscription: https://www.inkitt.com/tinyeyecat