Lisa was scared to leave me, so she held my hand and led me into her room. She sat me on her bed, picked up her phone from the dressing table, and began scrolling, lost in thought. She didn't know what to do or say, and then, suddenly, she remembered what Dr. Flo had once told her. The sleeping tablets were kept for emergencies. Pretending to call the doctor, she unlocked the safe, retrieved the pills, and handed them to me.
"While we wait, you can take these pills. They'll help with the hangover," she said gently.
I swallowed them without question, and before I realized it, I had slipped into a deep, heavy sleep.
Lisa sat quietly beside me on the bed, her eyes fixed on my face as if reading a story written there. She took a deep breath and ran her fingers softly through my hair.
(Whispering, her voice breaking) "You look so peaceful when you sleep. So innocent. If only life would let you stay this way. You don't deserve this pain, Tasha. How I wish the heavens were merciful to you. Life isn't only sorrow; it's gains and losses, trials and beauty. It's bittersweet. But watching you suffer while shutting me out… it breaks me. Why do you keep everything bottled up? Why won't you trust me? We've lived together for two years, and only now have you begun to open up, yet you want to take that chance away. If you erase your memories, I'll never get to truly know you. Don't you think that's unfair? I don't ask for much, just let me into your heart."
Her tears fell silently, her words drifting into the room like a prayer no one would answer. She was pulled back to reality when her phone rang. Grabbing it from the dresser, she slipped into the lounge to answer, careful not to wake me.
"Hey Lisa, you took long. Is everything okay?"
"Hi, doc. I meant to call you, but… I got lost in thought."
"You don't sound okay. What's wrong?"
(Taking a shaky breath) "It's Tasha. She wants her memories erased, especially the ones from the past."
"What?" Dr. Flo's voice was sharp with shock.
"She threw a tantrum. I couldn't calm her down. I had no choice but to give her the sleeping tablets you left me. Honestly, doc, I think she's close to losing it."
"Oh no. Not again."
Lisa froze. "Wait, what do you mean by 'not again'? Did something like this happen before?"
Dr. Flo sighed. "When Anne left Tasha with you, what did she tell you?"
"Only that Tasha had gone through hell six years ago. She said she wouldn't go into detail, that the less I knew, the better. She told me if Tasha wanted to share, she would one day."
"I see. Well, the truth is, Tasha was once admitted to a psychiatric facility. That's why Anne always insisted she take her sessions seriously."
Lisa clenched her jaw. "Anne should have told me. Not everything, but at least enough to prepare me. Am I so unworthy of trust? Anyway… tell me, is it really possible to erase memories?"
"It is, but even if you erase them, sometimes memories resurface. When they do, they return with unbearable weight. As for her past… much of what Tasha shared during sessions was vague, and I can't ethically reveal her private details. Do you know what triggered this episode?"
Lisa thought for a moment. "Yesterday, during lunch, she stepped out for a bite. Later, she called in sick and never came back. I thought it was just a stomach bug, until I got that call from the police."
She explained everything that had happened, from the bar fight to today's outburst.
Dr. Flo sighed. "We need Anne. She knows Tasha best. Make a group call now."
Lisa dialed, and Anne picked up quickly.
Anne: (Half-laughing) "Well, well, the sun must be rising from the West. Lisa actually..."
Lisa: (snapping) "Not now, Anne. There's trouble."
Dr. Flo: "Hi, Anne."
Anne: "Sup, Flo. Lisa, I'm listening."
Lisa: "Tasha wants her memories erased. She's serious."
Anne: (calm, almost unsurprised) "What happened?"
Lisa explained everything once again.
Anne: "I'm against it. Tasha's pain doesn't live in her mind; it lives in her heart. Unless both memory and emotion can be erased, there's no real escape."
Lisa: (frustrated) "Then what do we do? The pills will wear off soon, and I don't know how to handle her when she wakes. Stop wasting time."
Anne: "Calm down."
Lisa: (angry) "I am calm!"
Dr. Flo: "Enough! Stop fighting. Anne, give us something useful."
Anne: (sounding guilty) "I failed Tasha. I failed you, too, Lisa. I never should have left. It's time I come back."
Lisa: "Good. But it takes two days for you to get here. What do I do until then? Also, she said she's suffering because of you. Why?"
Anne fell silent before answering. "She once tried to drown herself. I saved her. For a long time, she cursed me for it. I thought she forgave me. Clearly, I was wrong."
Lisa: "This is worse than I thought."
Dr. Flo: "This is bad."
Anne: "I'll do everything I can to make it right. I'll see you both in two days."
Anne hung up. Lisa and Dr. Flo stayed on the line, brainstorming lies to stall me when I woke.
Later, I stirred. My body felt heavy, my mind sluggish. I realized I wasn't in my room. Lisa was dozing on the sofa but stirred at my movements.
"You're awake. Go shower, I'll fix you something to eat."
I said nothing, only nodded. I showered, dressed, and sat at the kitchen table. I picked at the food, eating a few spoonfuls before my appetite vanished. My thoughts were elsewhere.
Lisa studied me carefully. "A penny for your thoughts?"
I sighed, leaned back, and zoned out again. I had heard her earlier, her whispers over my sleeping body. I wasn't dreaming; I knew her voice.
Her words echoed in my mind: Why don't you trust me? Don't you think it's unfair?
Am I selfish? Am I ungrateful? My chest tightened with guilt. Lisa was stuck with a stranger, a broken stranger who refused to let her in.
I took a deep breath, looked into her worried eyes, and made a decision. Before I erased my memories, or ended everything, I would grant her the one thing she had begged me for: the truth.