HEY, STUPID MULTIVERSE PEOPLE! TIME FOR ANOTHER FUN DAY OF FUN FUNTIME STORIES!!
Chapter F-21: THE SHITTY RACCOON
It was a pretty day for pretty kid land where the world was run by shitty snot kids and adults are stupid as shit because they don't do anything. The characters got off their sleep lumps and met in the lazy room with smiley dumb face faces. There was the black emo kid who wants to kill himself and kiss raccoons, and the white emo kid who wants to kill herself, and the beaver kid with gorilla feet, and—ARRGH, THERE'S TOO MANY CHARACTERS! What cursed, useless writer puts so many characters in one universe?! A real universe doesn't have this many people! We're just gonna keep black emo and white emo!
So, black emo wanted to kill himself by jumping off his house, but he falls on white emo because she wanted to kill herself by crushing her lung, but none of them died, so they got mad and tried to kill each other. Then beaver kid brought them a retarded raccoon that drinks booze. Oh, and it had a bomb on its breast. Black emo loved the raccoon and kissed it, and white emo loved the bomb and set it off, KILLING ALL OF THEM!! And they were happy because they were de-
NO, THEY'RE NOT DEAD! BECAUSE THEN THEY'LL BE GHOSTS! Let's do a different story!
Chapter F-21: FRIEND THINGS, NO DEATH
Today, black not-emo kid and green SAY SOMETHING girl were going to the kid pen. They got sticky cold stuff, but green girl dropped her sticky stuff, but black not-emo kid gave her his! FRIENDSHIP SAVES THE DAY!!
Okay, that one was good! LET'S DO MORE FRIEND THINGS!! This time, red friend guy wanted to go on a date with his hoes, but all the hoes wanted to fight over him because they're way more sexy! But red friend guy said they were all equally sexy, SO THEY ALL WENT TO BED AND DID IT!!
"Huff, huff, huff!" Fybi flew as high as she could, desperate to escape this horrid world. Just a minute before, they were on the hellish grounds before Ganon's Castle, and now they were in a horrid MS Paint recreation of their world. Mason, Miyuki, and especially Anthony looked atrocious. "What horrible fate hath befallen our friends?! All when my Winds of Truth touched Cheren… I must find a solution. I must escape this world somehow." She continued skyward.
"Oh, why would you want to leave?" Bill Cipher poofed out of flames, Fybi drawing her B.O.W.. "Wouldn't you rather join your friends down there? Their lives are so much better now! All they need is friendship, and from now on, that's all they're gonna have! I mean, think… The only reason you fight is to save yourselves and save your worlds, and to live in peace. But now, there's no reason to fight." Bill closed his eyes. "Because Lord English finally understands the Power of Love."
"Power of… Love? Is this thine twisted vision of love?!"
"Yes, His Lordship has a very unique style, I'll admit. Yet, it makes no difference. Lord English has grown a deep bond with all your friends. Now, he wants nothing more than to protect them. To see them live in harmony. I mean, just look at him!"
Fybi gasped. Only now did she see Lord English hunched over the world like his own personal play set. Smiling like a carefree child, he willed Terry over to kiss MaKayla. "Now Angry Snot is gonna kiss Time Bitch because he wants to have human larva, and he wants to get that straightened out now! And Purple White Shit is totally fine with that!"
"This… maketh no sense!" Fybi gasped. "Wherefore hast Lord English arrived at such a conclusion?!"
Hearing her speak, English looked up. "Oh! Hello there! You're friends with them too, right? Please, join us!" His grinning skull and wide flashing eyes would terrify any soul. "I know you're one of my sister's vessels, but I'll be happy to forgive you! Just promise not to piss me off anymore! Come on… Won't you play with us? I'll take good care of you."
Fybi felt the most uncomfortable feeling crawling through her skin. Somehow, the image of Lord English cradling her friends like babies formed in her brain. "Roooock-a-bye worrrrrmlings, innnn my Hulk aaaaarms…"
"AAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!" Her scream was so loud, she might as well be a musicbender. "Thou must be jesting, wherefore wouldst I ever, I canst not imagine a fate more grueling, I wouldst rather submit myself to fanservice than live under thee!!!" She rapidly blasted him with energy arrows. Not an inch of English's HP decayed.
Bill flew by her and hinted, "I don't know if I mentioned, but he's kind of invincible."
"But why, Sis? Why don't you wanna join me? Why don't you wanna be part of my universe? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH MY IDEAS?!" The universe shook as English's emotions ran chaotically. "DO YOU NOT LIKE WHAT I CREATED?! Well, what is it, Sis?! Everyone is so happy in my world! That's all that matters, right?! Our happiness!"
"This happiness is not how we live! Thou mocketh Mason and Miyuki for having suicidal natures?! Our relationships with others?! Thou knowest nothing of our world, nor doth thee our lives!"
"I know everything, you tool! These eyes see more than you can comprehend!"
"Yea… but they canst not see what matters."
No sooner did a Keyblade pierce her back from behind. She gasped for breath as she stared at the tip through her chest. "You've mocked our Lord enough."
"'Tis… thou…" Fybi twisted her head back.
"Lord English and I have that in common." Xehanort said. "We are both so curious how the heart works. We want to examine it."
He withdrew the Keyblade as Fybi's heart flew out. With no soul to drive her body, the angel fell to the painted world below. Xehanort held the heart close to his smirking face. "Now… I have three pure hearts. Davy Jones… how does it taste?" He softly threw the heart toward Jones, who caught it with one tentacle and set it on his tongue.
He swallowed and said, "It tastes like sunlight. Though not as great as the raccoon's was."
"Like anyone knows how sunlight tastes." Bill remarked.
"Now we must wait until Zorc has infiltrated their base." Xehanort said. "But first, let us search for a few more pure hearts. The wind mage must be somewhere in this world. Along with the singer…" He willed the Keyblades they were standing on to fly forward.
"I overheard Voldemort speak ill of Lord English before I battled him. Perhaps this is what he spoke of-ah." Jones mentioned.
"Silence, Jones. We will seize Voldemort and question his treachery in time." This world disgusts me as well. But now is not the time to get on Lord English's bad side.
Hivebent
Eridan took command of Kanaya's computer while she was away, using it to track the operatives venturing to Alternia. "Oh, blast it! Kan's softwware is completely ludicrous! Wwhen is she going to return?"
"Let me look at it, Eridan-chan!" Nepeta snuggled up to him. "Computers can't be any harder than trains."
("Get back into character, Chi—Nep!")
"Quit goofing around, you idiots!" Karkat shouted. "Vriska's back!"
Vriska had returned to the base with a face beaming with happiness. "Hey, g8ng! How's it hanging? Karkat, I see you're 8ack!"
"Vriska, they said you led all the operatives to Alternia to fight the Backup Army! Shouldn't you be there helping them?!"
"Oh, I had more important matters to take care of." Vriska presented Lola Stork's Catch Card. She ripped it and set Lola free. Lola tore off her mask and revealed herself to be Truman Zorc.
"ZORC!" Karkat screamed. Vriska immediately grabbed the three trolls with psychic and smooshed them against the floor.
"It's too l8, Karkitty. The Fourteenth Darkness has already awakened."
"Fourteenth?! What the hell kind of shit are you spitting—AAAH!" Vriska tossed them all to one side.
"I mean Cheren, of course! The seed was planted in him the moment he 8ecame a God Tier. And his recent encounter with English was what instig8d the seed's growth! I'm afraid it's only a matter of time 8efore he comes here."
"You wwere planning to betray us the entire time?!" Eridan questioned.
"Settle your dispute later." Zorc stated. "Where are the other Darknesses?"
"Relax, Shortround, they're just down this hall." Vriska kept hold on her former friends as she led Zorc through the base. On the way, they found several Catch Card victims, who panicked in recognition of Zorc and tried to run, but the demon was able to catch Chihiro and Amethyst.
"I should thank you for having my victims all gathered in one place." Zorc told Vriska. "Now there is only a few more we will have to relocate."
"Yeah, I thought you would like the little gift. Honestly, this place has 8een getting so CR8MPED since we freed all those people! I wanna have this 8ase all to myself! Well, I know Zanifr will wanna share."
"You can do whatever you want with it after I have freed the Darknesses. Defeating a group of 'dorks,' as Bill calls them, should be child's play."
"Well, a couple of them are strong, 8ut you can pro8a8ly take them. Here's the room!" She stopped before a doorway.
"Excellent." Zorc kicked the door open forcefully. "Aha! There they… are?"
The Darknesses were painted against the wall inside a blue square, implied to be the Penance Chamber. They didn't look any more appealing than the MS Paint creations. "What the cr8p?!"
"So, that was your plan all along, huh?" They turned and found Chelan in the doorway.
"Chelan?! Since when are you a chatter-mouth?! And… since when are you this tall?"
"Chelan" wiped the makeup off her face and took off the clothes. She was really April Goldenweek. "You aren't the only tricksters here." The other trolls stepped over from behind and wiped off the disguises. Nepeta was Chimney, Eridan was Apis, and Karkat was Aisa. "After I escaped from Zorc, I found a teal path in the Art World that led me to Terezi. She explained that she smelled treachery mixed with paint in her prophecy, so following her instruction, I created an identical replica of Hivebent. I arrived in time to explain the situation, so the others could move the real base. I'm lucky the real thing was also two-dimensional, otherwise the illusion probably wouldn't work."
"Afterwards, April painted us to look like the trolls." Aisa followed. "And those people you 'Cardified' were wooden robots that April paints to deceive people sometimes!"
"NO WAY!" Vriska shouted. "NO NO NO NO NO NO! I CALL 8ULLSHIT! I only left Hive8ent 10 minutes ago to 8ring the oper8ives to Alternia! There's no WAY you set all this up that quickly!"
"It does sound weird when you mention it." Apis scratched her head. "But weren't you saying how time moves differently for people? I guess time worked in our favor!"
"UUUUGH!" Vriska blasted the team away with psychic. She flew out of the room and was immediately SMASHED under Yellow Diamond's fist.
"You're alive, Yellow Diamond?!" Zorc glared.
The Gem Empress, who was shorter than normal size, took off her mask. "It was the closest disguise that could fit me!" Mocha said.
"This charade ends now!" Zorc drew five cards, each depicting a body part of a golden entity. "I summon Exodia, the Forbidden One!" The cards came to life and merged together. The powerful entity known as Exodia shone like the sun, and destroyed the painted Hivebent with an explosion of power.
The structure splattered like the gray paint it was conceived from, and Exodia returned to card forms. "Hm?" Zorc curiously faced up at the sky, which was now colorful with giant floating paintbrushes and palettes. "So, the base was a portal into the Art World?"
"That's right." April said, having painted a shield over her team. Mocha, meanwhile, blocked the explosion with Haki. "I'll have to hold both of you here until we help out our friends."
"Ha ha ha!" Zorc laughed. "How do you plan to contain me like this? My Monster Cards have as much art to them as your pitiful canvases. All my prisoners were simply trapped in tiny, individual segments of the Art World. I have control over this world, too, and mine is STRONGER THAN YOURS!" Zorc whipped out his Keyblade, summoning a swarm of cards from his pocket. Dark clouds covered the colored sky and struck lightning.
"You look like someone who's into games." April figured. "How about a little duel?"
"Do you not realize I am the Lord of Games? How is a simple painter supposed to compete with me?"
April smiled and drew cards from her pocket. "I learned to play with cards at Prism Island, Mushroom World's Painted Paradise! It's thanks to that place that I learned to enter the Art World."
"Is this some kind of trick?! Those cards are blank!"
"Duh! They have to be painted first! I make up what the cards are and what they do. It's called creativity! Not that I expect you to understand. Your cards are so uninspired, you have to copy them after actual people!"
"I designed every monster in my deck! If you think your childish creations are superior to mine, then I accept your duel! If I win, you and your friends will spend eternity in the Shadow Realm."
"Then if I win, you have to seal yourself in a card and never come out! And free all your other victims! Oh, and release Truman's body!"
"Do you expect me to comply with ANY of those conditions?!"
"He's got a point." Apis said. "You can never trust a demon to keep his word."
"At least he's honest about it." Aisa shrugged.
"Okay, then the winner also gets to keep Vriska in a card."
"H8h?!" Vriska was baffled.
"Heh! That's all you desire as a secondary reward? It makes no difference to me." Zorc stabbed Vriska with his Keyblade, sealing the troll inside a card.
"What's the 8ig idea, you 8ss?! You need me to get into the real Hive8ent!"
"You shouldn't have fallen for such an obvious trick! I'm punishing you now. But I'll release you once I've beaten these fools."
"And what if they win?!"
"Well, then it's their choice what to do with you." Zorc smirked. He placed the infuriated Vriska in his pocket before facing April. "It's time to duel!" (Play "Bowser Battle" from Paper Mario: Color Splash!)
Boss fight: Zorc Necrophades
Zorc summoned a Mega Charizard and a Mega Marmortar, shooting massive twin flames. "Creative my butt!" April retorted, coloring one of her cards. "Get them, Spray Cloud!" She summoned a giant cloud holding water guns with human hands, and water flowed out of them like a tsunami. Once the flames were doused, April painted another card, summoning Popsicle Mountain. The mountain wielded popsicles like swords, slicing the drowned Pokémon into frozen bits.
"Ergh!" Zorc felt damage from the loss of the monsters. "Black Sun, melt all of her useless paint!" Zorc summoned a tremendous sun of dark energy. "Black conducts heat more quickly than other colors, which makes Black Sun the hottest force in the universe!"
April felt like her skin would melt, and Popsicle Mountain already had this fate. "Then I'll summon the thickest force in the universe, The Exting King!" She painted a fire extinguisher with a king's crown and robe. The extinguisher unleashed a cloud of foam that grew to swallow the Black Sun.
"FOOL! I set a trap inside the Black Sun!" As the sun was extinguished, black vines whipped out and binded April. "Devil's Snare will choke your Life Points dry!"
"Hold on, April, I'll burn those vines off!" Aisa declared, drawing a Dial. Fire burst from it, but a purple barrier blocked it.
"No outsiders are allowed to interfere with our game!" Zorc smirked.
"LAAAAME!" Chimney screamed. "I don't even know the RULES!"
"Duel Monsters has no official rules! You have to make them up as you go along, and they must sound like they make sense."
"What kind of a stupid game works like that?!" yelled Apis.
"Actually, this just became my kind of game!" April smiled. "For using a Trap Card after your first turn, I get an impenetrable shield for TWO turns!" A pink bubble sprouted up around April, pushing the Devil's Snare off. "Now I'll play my next card, the Garden Reaper!" April painted a Grim Reaper with a garden hoe and hat. "Of course, he'll need something to reap. I'll have to play my Support Card, the Lolli Garden!" She painted a sunny garden with lollipops that danced left and right.
"Ha ha ha!" Zorc laughed. "Very well, I'll rest and watch you behead a few candies… huh?" Zorc now realized what he was wearing. "WHEN DID THIS GET ON ME?!" He was wearing a candy suit.
"I thought it would look cute!" April grinned. "Get ready for reaping!"
"AGH!!" The Garden Reaper sliced up Zorc along with the garden. "If I wanted nonsense, I would have gotten Baldy Bald to fight for me! Let's see how your reaper does against Anubis, Egyptian God of Death!" He summoned an Egyptian man with a dog's head. Anubis raised a spear and clashed with the Reaper's hoe, easily disarming him and stabbing the Reaper dead. "Killed with a stab through the heart!" Zorc said. "Anubis gets 10 extra Attack Power!"
"Good thing my shield kept me from taking damage. I guess I'll play a good old Defense Down and negate that Attack increase."
"FOOL!" exclaimed Zorc. "It is forbidden to play a Defense Down while you have a shield! The very act of it disables your shield!"
"AH!" April screamed when the shield shattered.
"My turn! Anubis, attack her!"
"AAAAAHH!" Anubis rapidly stabbed April with his spear.
"NO, STOP!" Aisa screamed. "April's a hemophiliac, she bleeds easy!!"
"Don't just tell him that!!" Apis yelled.
"Don't worry. While we still feel the pain, the physical wounds are nonexistent." Zorc said. "Only the loser of this game will take the full extent of the injuries!"
That means the boy that Zorc is possessing could get killed if he loses. April thought. I'll need to plan this carefully… but I can't do it alone. "Huff…huff… My health is in the Danger Zone. This allows me to draw a Special Friend Card!" April literally drew a friend on a card. "I summon CHIMNEY to fight for me!" She played the card, warping Chimney onto the field.
"YEAH! Now I'll KICK SOME ARSE!" Chimney ran up, dodged Anubis's spear jabs, and hit the monster from every direction until it was destroyed.
"Did Chimney just defeat an Egyptian God with her bare hands?" Aisa cocked a brow.
"Told ya they weren't real!" Apis grinned.
"This only means I can crush you all one by one! First, I'll play a x3 Card that allows me to draw three cards in one turn. With them, I'll summon Flame Swordsman to combat your friend." A warrior with a flaming sword appeared, swishing his blade at Chimney, who nimbly dodged. "Then I'll summon Exodia's Left Arm, and cast a Darkness Shield around it, absorbing any attacks that try to penetrate it! The arm won't be able to attack unless I turn off the shield, but I won't need to use it, yet."
He's going to summon that Exodia thing again? Nothing stopped him from summoning it before. He must really be limiting himself to the game's rules. "I play a Water Gem to give Chimney more power!" April painted a glowing blue gem that leaked water like a fountain. "Here, Chimney!" When the gem materialized, Chimney took a drink from its spray.
"HO HO!" Water formed around her arms. "I suddenly feel like I have WATERBENDING! Not that discount Fishman Karate crud!" Chimney whipped water at Flame Swordsman and doused his blade, and with a few more hits, the monster was destroyed, damaging Zorc's Life Points.
"And since I gave Chimney an element that complies with her, she gets a Special Ability: Heal!"
"WHAT?! I CAN DO THAT?!"
"Yep! And you will use Heal to restore my Life Points!"
"You got it, April-chan!" Chimney used her new ability to revitalize her friend.
"Very well. I play Exodia's Right Arm, and have it CRUSH you!" Zorc summoned the arm, which didn't hesitate to swat Chimney away like a bug.
"Grrr, you stupid oni!" Chimney recovered and dodged the following attacks.
"Since one of your cards is fighting one of mine, you cannot use another card to destroy it!"
"Then I can focus on you! I play Adorable Baby Fungus! She'll drown you in utter cuteness!" April painted a giant purple baby mushroom.
"GOO GOO GA GA!" The baby released a noxious fart, spreading spores around the field.
"Cough, cough!" Zorc coughed. "I play The Plague! Your impudent fungus is as good as dead!" A white, ghostly cloud flew out of his card and shriveled the poor baby into nothing. "Oh, what's this? It seems that was a Lucky Card! I get to draw again, and I choose to play one of my favorites, Blue Eyes White Dragon!" The silver dragon sprouted into being from his master's call.
"ROOOAAAR!"
"I play Sir Coughsalot!" April painted a knight in sickly green armor. His armor rattled from weakness, and he coughed inside his helmet.
"Oh, I see. You intend to sicken my Blue Eyes." Zorc predicted. "I'll just have to destroy him quickly! Blue Eyes, use Annihilation Breath!" Blue Eyes charged a powerful beam and destroyed Sir Coughsalot. Shortly after, Blue Eyes turned green. "What?!"
"His exploding body spread the germs that your Blue Eyes inhales! Your dragon will not last for five seconds!"
Quickly, Blue Eyes' Life Points depleted, and once it was gone, Zorc suffered some damage. "You think that was clever? Because I destroyed YOUR card before it had a chance to attack directly, I get to draw two! And I summon both of Exodia's legs!" The entity's legs formed into being. "On my next turn, I'll summon Exodia's head, and you will be finished!"
"Then I'll make good use of my turn. Seeing as MY monster didn't get a chance to attack, I get to draw two as well! And I choose to play my next Friend Card, Apis!" In a flash, Apis warped onto the field.
"Happy to help ya, April!"
"Next, I'll play Holy Armor, to increase Apis' Defense! It triples the effect on her because she's an Arceist."
A white robe with gold Arceus rings appeared on Apis. "Neat!"
"Well, isn't that adorable? Too bad your Defense is NOTHING to Exodia! COME FORTH!" Finally, Zorc summoned the demon's head. The five parts glowed golden and assembled, forming Exodia. "Now, Exodia! Banish them to the Shadow Realm for eternity-" A mushroom grew on its head. "WHAT?!?"
"When Baby Fungus released its spores, it turned some areas into Shroom Traps!" April smirked. "Your precious head must have landed on one! Exodia is now as mindless as an animal!"
"Oh, I see!" Apis smirked. "I'll take it from here, April!" Exodia, I am now your master. Give that creep a taste of his own medicine!
Exodia charged a golden beam and struck Zorc with full power. "ERGH!" Zorc struggled to stay on his feet. "That attack cut a lot from my Life Points! You do realize that you are merely damaging this worthless human body, do you not?"
"Sacrifices must be made." April shrugged.
"April, you can't be serious…" Apis said.
"But the second symptom of Baby Fungus' spores," Zorc smirked, "is that the victim falls asleep for the next turn! But he'll be mine again before long."
"Well, now it's time for me to play. I call forth Scrappy-Don't!" April painted a man-size bloodhound, eyes frantic and moving in a jittery fashion.
"Then I summon Hades, Lord of the Underworld, to take your mutt's soul!" The Hades from Hercules appeared on the field.
"Hey fellas, how ya doin'? Me, I've just been trapped in a card."
"Scrappy, use Unmask!"
"SCRAPPY-HAPPY-HEE-HEE-HEE!" The dog's legs turned into wheels and sped toward Hades. Scrappy chomped Hades' head in his teeth and yanked off the mask, revealing him to be-
"THE JOKER FROM BATMAN?!"
"Hello, kids!" The Joker said. "I am legally required to take up 80% of every medium I'm in. So, get ready to see a lot more of me."
"Just turn back into Hades, you fool!" Zorc ordered.
"Sorry, but once your monster's been unmasked, he can't come back!" April declared, watching Zorc's Life Points deplete.
"Ah, but it looks like Exodia's mind control has worn off!" The mushroom fell off its head. "Now, Exodia! DECIMATE HER!"
The Forbidden One's shining right fist flew at April, "WAIT!" Joker put a pair of glasses over her. "You wouldn't hit a girl with glasses, would you?!" Exodia grabbed the glasses, shoved them down Joker's throat, scrunched him up in a ball, and threw him away. "That wasn't funny!!"
"Looks like the Joker bailed me out of a beating!" April smirked.
"But shouldn't he have technically been MY monster?!"
"You know Joker was always a wildcard! He ever finishes the job! Not when there's fun to be had! But now it's time for me to draw my next Friend Card. And I choose…" Zorc glared. He could only imagine she'll call Mocha to fight Exodia. "Melissa Gilligan!" (Play "Spectacular Finale" from Sticker Star!)
Zorc gasped. April lay the card, and the Terminan Gilligan herself appeared on the field, her toy car by her shoes. "TRUMAN! I'm so glad you're okay!"
"…Ha! Yu-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh!" The Dark One laughed. "You mean you actually had these fools waiting in the background?!"
"Darn right!" Melissa said. "We've been waiting ages to surprise you! Without those other Darknesses being around, at least. Don't worry, Truman! We're gonna pull that demon right out of you!"
"And I'm giving her a clear shot to do it!" April painted a racetrack card. A small RC track winded around the battlefield, curving up and straight to Truman's face. Melissa shrunk herself and climbed into her car.
"But you forget! I'm allowed to plant Trap Cards around the track! Not to mention Exodia will…will…" The possessed child quivered. "…go… easy on her…"
Melissa gasped. Smirking, she stomped the pedal and sped along the track. Exodia slowly brought its foot down on part of the track, but Melissa narrowly dodged under it in time. Zorc grunted and planted a Trap Card: Gloppy the Molasses Monster. The massive brown blob opened its maw to welcome the tiny racer. Melissa quickly stomped the brake. "Okay, Mr. Chocolate, how about some gum?!" She opened the hood and shot gumballs down his throat. Gloppy chewed them… and his eyes widened as the gum swelled him into a large ball, uplifting him to the air. Melissa kept driving as Exodia burned small Light Beams on a portion of track, giving her leeway to swiftly drift around them. Melissa drove over a Trap Card, painting a target smack on her car. Exodia threw its fist with no chance of missing; but thankfully, Melissa installed a small energy barrier to protect her car. "Hnnnnrrrrhhh…!" The shield steadily cracked under the pressure. Melissa frantically jiggled the steering wheel and escaped before the shield gave way.
Melissa drove the ramp leading to Truman; he planted one more Trap containing Sanzu Pool, turning the last part of track into liquid, soul-draining Sanzu Water. "You know, sometimes a girl likes to cruise over swimming pools!" And so Melissa flipped her car's tires into short-height hoverpads, allowing her to cruise along the Sanzu's surface, even evading the Underhands that tried to grab her. Zorc gasped as the car was clear to ram his face… but Melissa abruptly stopped it and ejected herself into his nasal bridge. She propped herself on the middle of his glasses and hugged him warmly. "I really missed you."
"Pathetic." Zorc reached up to crush her… but his arm stalled against his will. Truman's bright blue eyes flickered as a tear leaked. "Me…lissa…" Ever since they rescued him from Father, she was a kind older sister to him. He was so glad to feel her warmth.
"It seems Melissa has opted not to attack you." April said. "But your emotions have rendered you unable to play your turn. I draw my next Friend Card, Harry Uno!"
"YEAH!" The messy blonde-haired leader flew onto the field, equipped with rocket boots and wristbands with small S.P.I.C.E.R.s. "Okay, Exodia, eat some exotic spices!" He maneuvered around the air in evasion of Exodia's hands, thrusting his fists to shoot the high-powered sauce weapons. Though the monster was burned in the eyes, it seized Harry in its right fist. He squirmed as the beast was charging a golden beam in its mouth.
"Uh-oh! Harry's in danger!" April gasped. "Luckily, that allows me to draw his girlfriend to run to his rescue: Celeste Stork!"
"Why don't you spit that gunk somewhere else?!" Celeste swung in on a rope, equipped with more on her belt. She roped the ornament on Exodia's chin and swung around its body, forcing its head to twist left and spew the beam away from Harry. Celeste then tossed a M.A.R.B.L.E. at its arm to free her boyfriend.
"Good luck patching THIS up!" Harry drew handheld sauce bottles as they emitted constant streams of spice, much like Fire Daggers. He sliced them down the spot Celeste blew up, destroying Exodia's right arm.
"Exodia still has four more body parts to go!" Zorc yelled, shaking Melissa off him. "On the bright side, I get to play this Trap: Appendage Payback! Say goodbye to YOUR right arm!"
"AAAAAHH!" Harry's arm severed.
Exodia raised its left arm above Harry. "You need a time out, dude!" Celeste whipped up three ropes to snare and restrain the arm against the beast's body. "By the way, these are Carnivilia's top quality ropes! Designed to support the weight of elephants on unicycles!"
"Yeah, you elephant! Pick on someone your own size!" Melissa drove around the giant's feet and fired mini missiles from her car.
"Take your own advice!" Zorc played his next Monster Card. "I play Emperor Zurg to engage Melissa!" He summoned a small, purple toy emperor with menacing red eyes, wearing a dark cape. "But because Melissa is using a vehicle, I get to draw one for Zurg as well: his fighter ship!" Zurg climbed into the purple craft. "Let's see your pathetic car beat that!"
"Oh, crud!" Melissa fled from the pursuing alien, who was shooting… "Baseballs?" from his ship.
"I never got to play catch with my son!" Zurg cried.
"Well, good thing I installed this." Melissa extracted a hitting club from her car.
"And to make sure Zurg and Exodia don't interfere with each other, I'm allowed to place this Barrier Card, to limit our fighters to their respective opponent!"
"Talk about a cheap trick!" April said. "But my next Friend Card is ready! I play Kellie Beatles!"
"Yaaaaay, it's MY turn!" The purple-shirted Asian glid onto the field in her sakura ballet dress. "OH MY GOSH! HARRY!"
"Not to worry, Kellie! Since Harry's in need of first aid, I play Medical Bay for him to reattach and heal his arm! Ah, but since Kellie happens to be a doctor, the healing effect is sped up!"
A medical room appeared in a corner of the field. Harry rested on the bed as Kellie worked fast to stitch up his arm and apply pain-numbing medicine. "Thanks, Kel! I feel better already!"
Exodia shook off and unwrapped Celeste's rope before swinging a kick at the two, but with a kick of his rocket shoes, Harry pulled Kellie out of harm's way. They flew circles around it as Kellie threw flower shurikens. Exodia bellowed an energy beam, piercing Kellie… but she poofed into a teddybear. "SURPRISE!" Kellie twirled around from behind the giant. "I know Ninjutsu now!"
"You're on fire, girl!" Harry shot his S.P.I.C.E.R.s at Kellie, setting her dress aflame. As it was designed to maintain the fire so long as she spun, she twirled around Exodia's right foot until it was destroyed.
"You learned Ninjutsu?!" Truman gaped. "That's amazing, Kellie! NO, WHAT AM I SAYING?! I play The Flood! I'll dowse your fire and drown you all!" The battlefield filled with water, submerging the fighters on Exodia's side. "Sadly, it only affects one side of the barrier." Zorc glanced at Zurg and Melissa. "No matter."
"But did you forget Chimney is on the field?!" April smirked. "Since you played a Plague Card, I thought you'd have the Flood Calamity around the corner. Now Chimney can use her special move: SEA SLURPY!"
A straw appeared in Chimney's mouth. Through it, she muttered, "(Since when can I do this?!)" She slurped the entire Flood into her mouth, causing herself to swell.
"Unfortunately, she needs to start doing jumping jacks to lose weight."
"You're a jerk, April-chan!"
"But because you used a water-type card, I get to summon another Friend adept with water… or at least ice. Thomas Drilovsky!"
"BOOYEAH!" The auburn-haired hammer-wielder slammed onto the field. Exodia threw its left fist, but Thomas hardened his weapon with Haki and countered it. Kellie supported her boyfriend by throwing kunai into the arm, allowing Tom's hammer to prevail. He then ran to slam it into the left knee.
"BOOM!" Melissa hit the last baseball to explode Zurg's ship, the emperor flying off from the explosion. "Strike 3 and you're out! Now I can rejoin the Exodia fight!"
Zorc played his next card, "Time Wizard!" A red clock with eyes, arms, and legs. The wizard raised a scepter with a roulette wheel: one side depicted April and the other Zorc. "This will Agify the fighters on whichever side it lands on. It will have no effect on Exodia, so it's no skin off my bones."
The clock landed on April. "But it will be off YOURS!"
"Time… Magic…" A wave of energy washed over Sector Termina, Chimney, and Apis. They aged into wrinkly old crones.
"Owwww… Want… tapioca…" Harry moaned.
"Why, back in my day… I was twirlin' what my mama gave me." Kellie cackled.
"You think this is enough… to stop ME?!" Thomas had grown a long beard, but his aged skin was muscular as he threw his hammer into Exodia's foot. The left leg was destroyed.
"Thomas is the descendant of Scotsmen!" April declared. "They're proud warriors all the way to old age! And what's this? My next card is Call of the Ancestor!" They were bagpipes with a green spiritual ring around them. "Whoever plays this can summon their ancestor to attack! And I place it on Thomas!"
Thomas performed a song on the bagpipes. A green ray of light shone as Princess Merida descended. "Well… can't say I expected to join in the fun." She drew her bow and aimed an arrow at Time Wizard.
"Exodia, block it!" The Forbidden One floated in her way, mustering power in its mouth. Merida shot it dead through the throat: Exodia gagged on its own chi as its head exploded. Merida then shot an arrow to the sky, falling at the perfect angle to pierce Time Wizard and destroy it. Its curse wore off as the kids aged back to normal.
"Thanks, Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandma!" Thomas said.
"Anytime, lad." Merida waved and returned to Heaven.
"ONE more to go!" Celeste wrapped five ropes around Exodia's left arm. Each of her teammates grabbed the other end of one and tugged with all their strength, including Melissa's car. The final body part was diced into nothing.
"AAAUUUURRRRGH!" Zorc suffered a devastating blow to his HP… only one left. Truman's five friends gathered around him. Concern crossed their eyes… and Truman cried. "It's alright… If I die… this creep dies with me…"
"Heck no!" Thomas shouted. "We waited in this silly world to save you and we ain't LEAVING without you!"
"You're coming home, Truman!" Harry vowed. "Universe or no universe!"
"The members of Sector V have reunited." April laid her next card. "Which allows me to play something special: the upside-down 'V'! This allows me to summon one of their Negatives: I choose Namurt Namrik!"
Truman's Negative appeared, wearing a priest's robe. "In the name of God Arceus…" He raised a golden wheel with an 'X' shape inside it. "I will exorcise thee from this innocent youth." The ring encased Zorc. The five Termina ops surrounded and grabbed sides of it. "My prayers and their friendship will see that his soul never falls victim to you again!" Namurt channeled lightbending as he prayed.
"And we have a second Arceist on the field!" April said as Apis joined hands with Namurt. "The effects of prayer amplify!"
"OOOOOOOOOOOOO By the power vested in me," they sang in unison, "By the blessings of this duuuueeeel…"
"AAAAAUUUUHHHH!" Burning under their prayers and friendship, a spire of darkness erupted from Truman's body. "You think… I need this meat shield?! I'll destroy you all… with my TRUE TERROR AND POWEEEEERRRRR!"
"Ah…" Truman, returned to his normal white T-shirt with black sleeves, fell over.
"TRUMAN!" Melissa raised him in her arms. "Hey! Say something!"
"I…I…" His pure blue eyes opened with a smile. "I feel like… I just had the best dream… in three years…"
"Hahaha…!"
"Hey! Watch out!" Namurt yelled. "Above you!" (Play "Blackout" from Paper Mario: Color Splash!)
Zorc Necrophades was a titanic demon with black, muscular skin, bat wings larger than his body, and horns coming out of his head and out of his jaws. A second head grew out of his chest, attached to a snakelike body. The girls gazed up his form with terror, the dark clouds swirling around him. "Annoying vermin. GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!"
With a swipe of his chest serpent, Sector V and Namurt were swept to the side of the field, lost for breath as they struggled to stand. April gulped: she couldn't believe this horrifying demon was just inside of Truman's tiny body. "Well, since my opponent has gotten a sudden and massive increase in Life Points, I get to play a Friend Card to combat you: come on in, Mocha!" Her giant friend warped onto the field.
"I'm not afraid of you, buddy!"
"Hur hur hah! You think your average strength is enough? I will smash you within an inch of your life!" The snake head gnashed down at Mocha, who hardened her hands and struggled to hold it back.
"Hrrrrrrrnnnnn! He's too… strong…!"
"Don't worry, Mocha! Because you held him for 10 seconds, you're entitled to a Special Card: the Bands of Hercules!"
April painted golden wristbands on Mocha, and her iron hands turned to gold as she tossed the snake aside. The giant charged forward and dealt rapid punches on Zorc's feet, and with a greater thrust, the demon fell on his rear.
"A lucky shot! You won't have one again! I bring forth the Black Eclipse!" The entire sky turned black and the earth dim. "Your stats have been reduced by HALF!"
"Ergh…he's not lying." April grunted, feeling a decrease in energy. "Thankfully, Apis' Holy Armor makes her immune to your spells."
"Sounds good to me!" Apis beamed.
"In fact, I'll give her the Special Card, Angel's Vocals. As she continues to sing, the effects of your spells decrease!"
"Um, April, I'm not good at singing…" Apis blushed.
"JUST DO IT, Apis-chan!" Chimney ordered.
"Okay! Hum hum huuuummm…"
"Souls of the Living Graveyard, dine upon these morsels!" The earth cracked as black skeletons climbed out of the Underworld, reaching for Apis to drag her below.
"Hands off, ya creepos!" Chimney flew over to kick the skeletons back down to Hell, allowing her friend to keep singing.
"A fraction of our stats return thanks to Apis' singing." April said. "Let's try to chop down a little of YOUR life. God sends His judgment in the form of a Sacred Eagle!" April painted a massive white eagle, gracing a trail of light with its wings. The eagle impaled its talons into Zorc's snake, but the snake retaliated by wrapping around the eagle.
"Your beast is now my PREY!" Zorc claimed as his snake feasted upon the eagle. "As I digest my food, I expel my waste and dissolve your flesh!" Gas flowed out of his two mouths, drowning the region in green clouds.
"For devouring my Sacred Eagle, an Angel of Justice has come to avenge it!" April painted the card. "And her name is AISA!"
"It's about time!" exclaimed Aisa, raising a Vacuum Dial. "Time for a spot of house-keeping!" She slurped all of the gas inside to keep the air fresh.
"It's too bad we can't get Aeincha or Gonbe to join in this game." April said. "Otherwise, we could use the All Friends Together Bonus."
"It's truly a shame I will have to miss such an attack. HAH HAH HUR! TASTE MY RAIN OF PAIN!"
Droplets of energy fell upon the field. "That's a stupid na—YOW!" Chimney yelped.
"Mocha, protect Apis! She needs to finish her one-note song!"
"Got it, April!" Mocha posed like a bridge over Apis, withstanding the Rain of Pain. Aisa nimbly dodged the droplets using her Haki, but Chimney kept going, "YOWCH OUCH OUCH!" as she danced from the pain.
"Nngh! Apis, are you almost finished?!" Mocha grunted.
"She should be just about… DONE!" On April's cue, the black sky disappeared. "For successfully using teamwork to put an end to your spell, my team is allowed free strikes on you for 10 seconds!"
"YAAAAAH!" The girls rushed up and laid a furious beatdown on the massive demon. Mocha chucked Chimney up to Zorc's neck, so she could chomp it in her big mouth. Aisa flew up to the head with Dials and stomped him with Red-Foot Kicks, while Mocha continued punching his feet.
"Your ten seconds are OVER!" Zorc used a burst of energy to blow the girls off him. "Your little kitty punches are adorable, but as you can see, you took so little Life Points from me! In fact, I do believe I deserve a Special Card for enduring such an 'assault.' I summon the HEADS OF HYDRA!" Five more snake heads grew around his body, making seven heads total. "What more fitting way is there to finish off Sector W7?! Or should I call you Sector W5, since the rabbit and that doll were less than useful."
"'EY! YOU AIN'T GONNA INSULT GONBE AND APRIL WHEN I'M AROUND!" Chimney leapt on one of the Hydra heads and began gnawing its eyes. Mocha wrestled with her own head, Aisa jabbed kicks at another, while Apis was-
"WAAAAAH!" Apis was running, as she was anything but combat-worthy.
"For the record, Chimney, he probably meant to insult Aeincha with that 'doll' thing." April inferred as she painted her next card calmly. "But all the same, you've angered her, Zorc. Which means Chimney gets to use a Special Card, Raging Predator!" She painted the card red with a wide-open maw. "Her mouth is so big and ravenous that it can ingest anything!"
At that moment, a red aura burned around Chimney as her mouth tripled in size. "Oi, this really ain't gonna look good to the dentist. NYAAAAA!" Chimney CHOMPED the Hydra head in her mouth and munched her way toward the body.
"HA HA HUR! Devour all that you can, brat! Cut off one Hydra head, TWO MORE will take its place!" Chimney was pushed off by the eruption of two more heads.
"You may have grown two more, but you STILL lose Life Points for the one you lost!" April shouted.
"Do you think that matters at all to me?! Even if I were to lose this duel, no amount of damage you deal will EVER be enough to end me! I may let you get away with your lives, but I WILL return, stronger than ever! Perhaps you do not understand the extent of my power. Allow me to show you: I sacrifice all six of my Hydra heads." The heads vanished into darkness. "Individually, they count as six monsters. With their sacrifices, I will summon two cards of divine power: DIALGA and PALKIA!"
The Gods of Time and Space materialized, standing guard before their master. "You created replicas of Dialga and Palkia?!" April exclaimed.
"There's something up with them!" Aisa said in terror. "Just look at their eyes! They're red!"
"Hur hur hur! They are not replicas! They are the actual gods from your world! After your lunatic ally exploded and rearranged the universe, they were blown out of the safety of their Spirit World. They were quite dazed from the impact, which gave me the perfect chance to overpower them! …Of course, their appearances are a little worse for wear." Dialga had a pony's tail and Palkia had bear claws. "Regardless, their powers are still phenomenal! And don't think it was just these two I collected. Lord English wants absolute certainty that the universe will be HIS."
So, he's got the other gods in there, too. But does he have all of them? April wondered.
"Now, DESTROY THEM!"
The twin gods mustered powerful chi in their lungs and, "STOP!" Namurt stepped in the wake and focused powerful prayer. "Gods, I beseech thee, do not be condemned by evil! I will abandon this fight in the name that you let my friends live for one more turn!"
The gods took back their breaths… and the chi quelled. "It shall be done…" Dialga spoke. And so, Namurt disappeared.
"Hur. It seems you get one last chance to plot a counterattack." Zorc scoffed.
April sighed. "Then I have no choice. I sacrifice all four of my friends and give them to you!"
"HUH?!?" they all screamed.
"APRIL, YOU DIRTY TEENAGER, I NEVER SHOULD'VE TRUSTED YOOOU…" were Chimney's last words before they turned into cards and flew over to Zorc.
"And in return, I am allowed to claim two of your least favorite cards." April raised her Keyblade. "Sound like a fair trade?"
"HAHAHAHA! And which of my 'feeble' cards will you take to combat the gods?! Assuming you can even guess what I have."
"I didn't say they were feeble, I said they were your least favorite. And the two cards I choose are… PALUTENA AND SOLARIS!" April cast a beam from her Keyblade, striking Zorc.
"Orgh! Hrn?!" The demon watched as the two cards flew away from his being. In a burst of light, the Goddess of Light and God of the Sun appeared at April's side.
"Huh?! We're free!" Palutena gasped.
"But those two have not, it seems." Solaris observed.
"I knew that a demon of pure darkness would despise the light above all else." April said. "You had to have captured them under Lord English's orders, but you would never use them in battle."
"You smug little brat! After this duel, I'll savor the taste of your friends' souls! Dialga, Palkia, DESTROY THEM!" The possessed gods charged their Roar of Time and Roar of Space, quaking the universe as they flew in unison.
"Palutena, Mirror Shield! Solaris, support!" At April's order, Palutena used the shield to withstand the attack, and Solaris shone like a sun to increase its reflect-ability. The force of the Time-Space gods was overwhelming, but Palutena stood firm and strong, pouring every ounce of strength into the Mirror Shield. Amazingly, the entirety of the beams were fully absorbed.
"YAH!!" Palutena hurled back a larger beam of blue and pink, striking Dialga and Palkia dead-on. The twin gods were out cold, taking a chunk out of Zorc's Life Points.
"IMPOSSIBLE! You could not have defeated the strongest gods under Arceus!!"
"Technically, they defeated their selves." Palutena smiled.
"Then I will destroy you MYSELF!" Zorc charged forth.
"Not so fast!" April whipped up a card. "Their unexpected victory earns me a Lucky Card! With it, I replenish the energy they lost in the attack!" Small beams of light touched the two gods. "And I command them to conduct a Unison Attack: Fires of a Thousand Suns!"
"Such an attack will not be possible… without a medium to channel it through." Solaris said. He and Palutena burned with the full potential of their chi. Palutena cast light in the sky and Solaris cast fire. They connected and blew the dark clouds away with a golden sun. "Young Uno from another world… we entrust this power to you!"
White flames descended onto Harry. The boy raised his S.P.I.C.E.R. bottles as the flames absorbed inside them. "OHHHHHH YEEEEAAAAAH!" Harry burned with adrenaline.
"And since all six members of Sector V are together," April declared, "THEY can use the All Friends Together Bonus! Their power increases for a special Team Attack!"
"Let's count it down, guys!"
"SIX!" Truman slapped talismans over Celeste's ropes.
"FIVE!" Celeste firmly snared Zorc in the ropes, greatly restricting him.
"FOUR!" Thomas squashed the serpent head with his hardened hammer.
"THREE!" Kellie borrowed some of Harry's white flames and danced at Zorc's feet, burning them.
"TWO!" Melissa fired dazzling fireworks from her car, blinding Zorc's eyes.
"ONE!! SAUCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS!" And finally, Harry's S.P.I.C.E.R.s each fired small, white balls of sauce, orbiting as they flew to Zorc's mouth. The extreme spice flowed all throughout his being.
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGHH! It can't be! It can't end like this! There's still so many games I wanted to play! He said the multiverse would become my deck! LORD ENGLISH! Was I… just another card to you?! Us… and the Kids Next Door… WE'RE ALL JUST CARDS TO OUR MASTERS!"
"Maybe we are." April twirled her Keyblade. "But at least we believe in the Heart of our Cards. So long, Zorc! We'll let the New Universe know how epically you failed!"
"NOOOOOOOOOoooooo…" The light drowned Zorc, and the Demon Lord of Games was no more. The Art World was awash in light and the demon's Keyblade shattered. (End song.)
All that was left of his being were Catch Cards scattered about the air. April searched them all, tearing the ones of her friends to set them free. "Phew!" Mocha sighed in relief. "Part of me wishes the light would've shrunk him and I could step on him… but getting destroyed is fine."
"Yes." Palutena chuckled, patting Dialga's weary head. "And hopefully, he won't return for another 5,000 years."
Aisa used Mantra to sense the other god cards, having already freed Rayquaza and Kyogre. "It looks like his Catch Cards are still in effect, though. We'll need to keep searching for other prisoners."
"Ha ha ha ha!" Groudon's card laughed at Kyogre. "Your face is ridiculous!" Indeed, the Zachsplosion had given the Sea God a frog face.
"And just what hideous feature are YOU hiding?" remarked Kyogre.
"It's…It's over." Truman sighed. "The voices in my head… I can't hear them, anymore…"
"That's great, buddy." Celeste ruffled his hair. "Our work here is done. We're probably gonna go home now… soon as we get the chance, anyway."
"We'll speak to Nebula as soon as possible." April nodded. "But first, Truman, reach in your pockets."
The boy did so. finding two cards: Lola Stork's true card and Vriska's. "Oh, d8mn." Vriska cursed.
"Hey, it's my parallel sister!" Celeste took Lola's. "Sorry our little bro stuffed you in there."
"You better. His tantrums were worse than Terry's."
"Alright, start talking, you meinu!" Chimney demanded, grabbing Vriska's card. "Why'd you bloody betray us?! Who's the bloody Fourteenth Darkness?!"
"Fine, toots, it doesn't matter if I tell you now. Let's take it 8ack to when I 8ecame God Tier. I found my Quest 8ed among the remains of the Land of Maps and Treasure. …Then I met him."
Vriska was lost in a sea of giant floating scraps of map paper. One of these scraps depicted a bed, which bore the symbol on her shirt. She entered this part of the map, and gasped seeing someone else there. "Hello, my dear!" the human Bill Cipher greeted.
"Who are you?" :::
"The name's Bill. And I'm about to make your wildest dreams come true!" Bill presented an ordinary 8-ball from his pocket. "Inside this ball contains a very tiny essence of my master. I've traveled back in time to give it to you…"
"He gave me specific instructions." Vriska continued. "Specific… 8ut vague. He told me to plant the 8all under a specific Quest 8ed. I thought this would 8e some kind of prank, so naturally, I was up for it! Then, to my amazement, I learned the Quest 8ed 8elonged to a human from your dimension. I was told 8y my future self that the Uno Family contained 8lood from our dimension, and Cheren's connection with that 8lood, 8y some miracle, was the strongest. He could 8ecome God Tier. I let Majora in on my plan to lure Cheren to the Quest 8ed. I was surprised that he 8ecame a God Tier, 8ut I didn't know what effect the 8-8all would have. Then 8ill found me again once our universe was restored."
Vriska was casually soaring through the skies of Skaia. "Well, well, well." She gasped when Bill suddenly appeared to her right. "I was wondering what shenanigans Future Bill would be up to, and whaddya know, he's gone and found himself a special agent!"
"You…You're Lord English's minion!" Vriska glared.
"Right you are! And guess who just became a BIG help to His Lordship's goals? YOU, SISTER! You know that 8-ball you put under Cheren's Quest Bed? The minute that boy sacrificed himself and attained the godly chi from that bed, that piece of Lord English's chi was slurped inside him as well. The Kids Next Door's Supreme Leader is an unaware Darkness!"
"That 8oy that my future self told me a8out?! HE'S a Darkness?!"
"Oh, and it seems like you're willing to help us further! Listen up, darling, you've already lost. Lord English has gained control of all the Firstborn's powers in the future and the multiverse is ultimately his. Sadly, he was missing one key component to his character: the idea of love and friendship. That Cheren boy is a friend to almost every dimwitted mortal he meets. Now that his mind is connected to His Lordship's, all his happy feelings and close bonds can be transferred to English! When that happens, even the protection of the Seven Lights won't be able to protect them!"
"W…Why are you telling me this now?"
"Because your job isn't complete, yet! And I know you'll do what I say. After all… you want to see him again, right? You want to see Tavros again, unharmed. You don't give a damn about those 'friends' of yours, you never did."
"…" Vriska only responded with a glare for a moment. "What do you need me to do?"
"Well, unfortun8ly (no offense) Cheren's transformation has caused many of his friends to distrust him, and his apparent bond with you has made him grow away. We need to rekindle those feelings. After Cheren makes direct contact with Lord English, their happy emotions should start to increase. Afterwards, I want you to lure Cheren to Alternia, where we'll have the Backup Army attack him all at once. His helpless situation will make him long for his friends, and when they learn what's happened, they will suddenly remember how much he means to them. Then you just have to get that little angel brat to breathe on him!"
"You mean Chelan?"
"No, Fybi. The orange-haired one. Well, he should be on his way now. Remember, don't bring him to Alternia until after he's fought with Lord English. Buh-bye now!"Bill vanished. Vriska saw the R.O.A.D.S.T.A.R. in the distance and flew toward it.
"NnnnnNNN! WHAT 'AVE YA DONE WITH CHEREN-CHAN?!" screamed Chimney.
"8y my understanding, Lord English has attained the 'Power of Friendship'… so to speak. He used Cheren's 8ond with his friends to trap them in his world. Nothing can save them now."
"I'M GONNA TEAR YOU TO SHREDS, stupid spider lady!!" Chimney furiously bent her card up and down.
"Easy, Chimney!" Aisa swiped the card. "We can't let her escape! We need to get back to Hivebent and tell the others what's happened!"
"Is there any way to change Cheren back to normal?" Mocha asked. "Please, tell us!"
"The only solution I can think of is to kill him. And a God Tier can only die through a noble sacrifice."
"So… would it be noble to sacrifice him to save our friends?" April asked.
"You can't seriously be thinking about killing Cheren!" Apis shouted.
"I'm not! It's just… what else can we do?"
This question became the only thing to haunt their minds.