Shit, I still haven't said anything yet. what should I say?
"Huh?" what? Is that all I have? Why am I so flustered?
"I-I," I stammer, leaning my head back and turning my attention to the window out of embarrassment.
The vibration of my phone in my pocket causes me to reach into my pocket and pull out my phone just as it begins to vibrate once more at the same time.
"Tomorrow is your first day in college, honey."
I ignore my mom's text and focus on Jason, who is driving.
"Why did you walk out of the restaurant like that? did you get into some kind of fight?
"Well, it's nothing to worry about," he says, keeping his attention on the road.
Why did it hurt so much to hear him say that of course I should be concerned, dummy? You are my roommate, for crying out loud; it is only natural that I should be concerned about you. "Well, it's nothing to worry about!" Trying not to be heard, I imitate him.
I extend my hand toward the radio, intending to increase the volume, a delightful distraction to fill the silence and steer clear of Jason's harsh words. However, Jason's hand unexpectedly envelops mine, bringing me to an abrupt stop.
"Wait, I'm sorry, okay," he says, his gaze briefly shifting towards me before returning to the road ahead.
Unhurriedly, I jerk my hand back, placing it down between us; he is not leaving mine. I held my breath and didn't dare to breathe.
Finally breaking the silence between us, "You need to tell me what happened back there."
Moments later, we pull off to the side of the main road into an empty field, putting his car in park. Jason peers over at me with an intense look in his eyes.
He sighs, looking as if he's still finding the right words to say.
"Leaving with me will be like hell," he says softly. I can barely make out the words; I'm not even sure if they were spoken for me to hear.
Turning my head to face him, I study his face, tracing the outline of his jaw with my eyes, wanting nothing but to plant soft kisses all over those perfect, sharp edges of his.
"I am ready to face that hell with you." I don't know why I said it, but I'm not afraid of what's going to come next; it just felt right to say all that I meant.
Shutting his eyes, he refuses to look at me as he enunciates.
"You don't know what you are getting yourself into," he states.
He continues not to give me time to rehearse. " I keep having visions of someone I used to love dearly, and it hunts me down each time I close my eyes. I just couldn't do anything to save her I condemn
I feel sorry for myself for not being able to save her life.
Even though I do not know who he lost, all I want is to be by his side. We both have demons that nag at us constantly. I may not be the one to help him overcome his grief, but I will do everything in my power to ensure that we will overcome this together. After all, he is my roommate.
"I want to be there for you, Jason, if only you let me in. I want to be there for you as a friend and as your annoying roommate," I chuckle softly.
He turns from his seat to face me before his hand touches my thigh. I feel the warmth shimmering off of him, sending goosebumps dancing all over my body.
The warmth of his palm touches my trembling thigh; a sense of relief fills me.
He grips his hand on my thigh a little tighter, and it causes my breath to hitch. not understanding this feeling, I reach out to envelop his hand with mine.
His grip relaxes, and I hear his breathing slowing down.
My heart is racing, but at least it's only me that can hear its beat.
He turns completely in his seat to face me and reaches out to grab my hands in his.
"Thank you, but there's one more thing," he says. I peek up at him just as his eyes fall to my lips, and I start to speak, but I am cut off by his lips crashing into mine.
We both frantically reach for each other in the car's front seat. I was feeling his needs, his urgency, and his lust for me. I climb over the center console and rest myself in his lap, his hands tracing along my hips and down to my ass, grinding me urgently into him. he's hard down there. I was sliding my hand around his neck, pulling him closer. He was groaning as I moaned his name.
"Jason," I gasp, and he pulls back, both of us breathing heavily, the car windows filled with fog.
I stare down at him, his smirk back in place, just the way I fancy it.
"W-what are we doing?" I breathe out, and he chuckles, pulling me closer to him again. "Exactly what we want to do, Marie," he says softly, making me shiver.
He plants a light kiss on my lips, then kisses down my neck. I lean my head back, giving him better access, and I grin.
This was my first kiss...
"You are so beautiful and too fragile for me. I really shouldn't be thinking about her right now, and even though we were still children when we first met, something about you reminds me of her; your eyes resemble hers," he murmurs.
I stay frozen...
"Please tell me that this was your first kiss."
Not only was he my first kiss, but his persistent cussing and the words "Damn, Marie, you are too good for me" were the sole reasons I stayed silent.
I find myself still perched on his lap, pondering how I ended up here. Just moments ago, I felt like a master of the situation, and now I'm caught in a swirl of self-reflection.
I rise from him and return to my seat, both of us beaming with joy.
"I have never kissed anyone as good as you, Marie," I smile, my heart warming at the sound of his voice.
What on earth is going on with me?!?
My roommate is two years my senior, and I know he will eventually break my heart if I give in to his charms.