WebNovels

Chapter 5 - TW: mention of sewerslide

I kinda thought about killing myself earlier.

What would happen if I just ended it right now? What if I just decided to say "fuck it" there's a forest by my house. I could disappear there and no one would know I was gone for days, weeks, months even. What would everyone think if they found my lifeless body hanging from a tree? Maybe laying in the grass? Would anyone try to stop me if I told them? I wonder how my brothers would react to finding out that I killed myself? After years of tormenting me, would they care? All of my friends who barely talk to me, would they care? Would they help me? Would they joke about because they'd think I was kidding would anyone really care..? Why does it matter to me so much? I just want to feel loved. I just want people to call me just to hear my voice I want to be able to answer people when they ask me how I'm doing without hesitating or lying. I wanna be able to get out of bet and want to go outside. Like, wtf? Why does it have to be so hard to do basic things in life? Why do I always feel like I'm fighting for my life? Maybe I should do it? Would anyone care?

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