(VIII)—
Entry #42 Sequence XIII Aberration
The clocks have stopped, but I still hear them ticking away whenever it is silent.
I know indulging in such delusion will drive me mad, mad with the belief that I was meant to escape.
Somewhere within these walls, a pendulum still swings, though I have dismantled every clock in the manor, twice over, and cast their pieces into the study's deepest cupboards.
Entry #43
I once believed that I was only a Watchmaker, and nothing else.
Yet even I must concede: a watch refusing to move forward is no different from one already broken.
Entry #46
These Gods will not pardon me.
I was never meant to stand here, where one world bleeds insidiously into another.
It was never a matter of choice that I remain somewhere between the past and the present.
Each time the Creator insisted this was my only path to survival, I understood more clearly that true change eludes him.
No one can truly step beyond the bounds of their own history. We cannot return to what was; all we may do is steel ourselves to endure what lies ahead.
Entry #47
What am I now, if not already the consequence of creation?
Entry #48
Do not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not crossDo not cross Do not cross Do not cross
Entry #49
Nine eyes. Nine eyes. They observe me as I observe them.
Entry #50
The west corridor's clock is two seconds behind the others.
I have disassembled it thrice, polished the gears, and realigned the anchor, yet the delay persists.
I suspect the fault lies in the corridor itself.
This wing remains the most unstable.
Entry #51
Today, I attempted once again to fix Hoku's pocket watch.
However, there were various issues... the mainspring wouldn't wind, and the escapement's ticking grew erratic.
There is a subtle resonance when I hold it near my ear.
If I do not fix it soon, the stability amongst the sequences will be dismantled.
Entry #54
I heard footsteps upon the upper landing, and after I went to investigate I discovered a single impression in the dust of a bare human foot.
Entry #58
Nine Eyes now peer from every room, even the ink in this very ledger writhes with their forms.
I have forgotten even the face that stares back at me, so why bother preserving what little remains of me?
Tonight, I will cross.
The cost has been tallied, and I have yielded to the knowledge that the freedom which awaits me is utterly worthless.
. . .
「Scribbled in an old birthday card that was stowed in an envelope at the end of the Watchmaker's ledger」
Pherris, do not hold me to the man I have become, but to the one I once was.
Even if all ends ultimately restrain our chances of returning.
Even if you've believed my words.
We've both gone mad.