"Do you know why you were brought here?"
"To laugh at those idiots for not realizing that the asshole with glasses has been duping them for over a century?" I asked with a tilt of my head, only to get dope slapped by the chocolate goddess of flashing.
"No, that's what I'll be doing after you and the others return to human world where you'll be out of the reach of their petty ire." Yoruichi said with a sigh. "This will be mostly about posturing, trying to regain their image since you kicked the asses of four of the captains before Aizen revealed himself. They also will ask about Hogyoku as well."
Yeah, considering that Renji and Rukia, and maybe Byakuya too, had been there to listen Aizen's whole monologue about the damn flash rock; there was no way that Old Man Genocide did not know about how I had made Aizen's target for the whole execution fiasco disappear.
"Any chances you can just claim that I am very tired and therefore should be exempt from this meeting."
"Why the fuck would you be tired? You did not even show up till the last minute, which I still have no idea how you did." She grumbled the last part, making me smile.
Turns out, the whole existence of the secret dimension in Soul Society's shadows meant that I could just go in them and jump out of it when I wanted to; much like how Wandenreich would do in a few years.
Probably should think about some sort of solution for that.
"Isn't it obvious?" But not today. "It's from kicking the asses of so many captains in such a short time." For today, I would be making fun of Shinigami!
"Stop that!" And getting another slap. "The whole Aizen's secret betrayal thing is giving us a way out of this mess but they are not happy with us. Don't make things worse, be respectful for once in your life."
"Yeah, okay. Respectful, I can do that." I nodded as we finally reached the door to the captain meeting, which was then opened by the guards beside it. Revealing the lineup of the strongest of Soul Society, except for the three who just betrayed them and the clown.
Now then, I would be starting this meeting; respectfully.
"What up fellas?!" Nailed it.
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'Soul King, come down from your palace and strike me down so I can be free of this.' Yoruichi thought while looking up as Cain bombed it the moment the gates were opened.
She could already see the subtle twitch in Byakuya's eye that was the equivalent of a normal person having a meltdown and the 'How-could-you-do-this-to-me' look Soi Fon was giving her, which she used to do whenever she was given a task involving Kisuke. These two things, along with the shocked reactions of the rest of the attending captains, should have made her laugh with abandon but that was kind of hard when the head captain opened his eyes. Nothing good ever happened when the old man opened his eyes.
"Cain Marko." The old man's voice was like two stones grinding against each other, Yoruichi wasn't sure if he was too displeased but considering that Cain wasn't a pile of ashes yet so she would consider this a win. "We wish to speak about Urahara Kisuke's creation that Aizen was seeking."
"I mean..." Cain started while scratching his cheek with one finger. "Sure, speak as much as you want. Not really sure why I'm here though." He was going to get them killed!
"Enough of this nonsense!" It seemed like her little Bee was finally at the end of her patience. "You were the last person to have the item in possession, relinquish it at once!"
"Oh..." And Cain actually seemed surprised, making Soi Fon even madder. "Umm, this is kind of awkward. Didn't... didn't captain noble-pants over there told you guys what I did with it?" He asked while pointing at Byakuya, with bandages over his chest and forehead but still healthy enough to glare coldly.
"Maa, captain Kuchiki has told us about how you 'ate' the thing." Kyoraku said with an easygoing smile. "But come on, you don't actually think anyone is going to believe that right? There is no way you actually ate something that dangerous." He said as he pushed his hat up with one finger to look at Cain, who was looking at him without saying anything.
Indeed, he said nothing. Gave away to nothing. Gave no reaction till... he averted his gaze with a blush? An act that was noticed by all the captains.
"There is no way you actually ate something that dangerous." Kyoraku said again but his voice was less sure and his grin was slightly twitchy.
"Yes yes, of course not." Cain said while still looking away. "I... I merely shot a small arrow at it and the thing dissolved in my hand. Yup, nothing out of the ordinary or suspicious." Oh boy, she could hear Soi Fon's blood pressure rising.
"You!"
"Let's move onto more important matters!"
"More important than the Hogyoku?" Someone asked and it took a moment before Yoruichi realized that she was the one who asked.
"I mean, I thought the possible plans to stop your traitors would be important. Especially since their leader has, very publicly and loudly, declared his intention to kill the Soul King and seize his throne in order to declare himself the supreme ruler of cosmos." And now several captains, including Soi Fon, were looking at him with wide eyes as if he had revealed something unknown. Had they not understood the meaning behind the whole 'empty throne of heaven' speech Aizen gave before running away?
"If we're not, maybe we can talk about the circus clown you people have elected as a captain. " And then Cain went on before anyone else could get a word in. "Who not only used some of his subordinates as a suicide bomber in a failed attempt to capture some of my friends. But also has loudly admitted to have bribed, blackmailed or killed the people in charge of monitoring Quincies you people claimed to have placed under protection in order to get those Quincies assassinated before getting their dead bodies to do his butcher work that he tries to pass off as science."
"What?" Whelp, Captain Commander seemed to be officially very pissed.
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