It's been 5 years
Quite a long time since I stopped playing games and yet that feeling and passion, still hasn't left me.
But now that things have changed, I don't think there's still a chance for me to go back. It's haunting me every single day, the sole reason why I stopped, why I left the team.
It's just too painful to remember, and the very reason it pains me so much is that I was at fault. I made a bad play that day that cost us the championship.
I fell into a deep void of mental illness after that, and that's when I decided to stop and just quit because if I keep playing at such a state, I'll probably end up dead or worse, commit suicide.
Anyhow that's just how it is, not everyone is always a winner as they all say. And I should just focus on what's ahead yet I don't know what it is but the future is uncertain, it's being rewritten by every choice I make. So maybe I just need to get my shit together and make sure I pass this entrance exam.